Stone Cold Steve Jobs

I asked why the post office was so against putting mail slots in the sides of trucks. 

The response was, "Because someone will get hurt. They will run after the truck and smack into it or just get hit."

Me: I don't understand the issue. 

Know what the world needs?

 A genderbent version of Monster Musume.

   I opt for the role of the centaur. You know, reliable but easily rattled. Huge but hyper emotional. Alluring, in an oafish sorta way.

OH HAY! LOOK GUYS, ANOTHER WIDDERSHINS THEME!!!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2uYcP6YmDpc

OH HAY! LOOK GUYS, ANOTHER WIDDERSHINS THEME!!!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2uYcP6YmDpc

If I were to get a tattoo it would be this.

Nana's passed away... Since last June, only found out today... Sheesh...

THIS ISN'T REAL LIFE

FryCookonequus: Part Two of 5,983:

 I don’t get how everyhuman doesn’t just hate themselves for eating fast food.

 Y’all know it’s just thrown from station to station, right? It’s focus on sheer amount & ... well, speed. Just a step above an actual slop trough. That’s my rule of thumb( when I have thumbs, anyway.): If you wouldn’t eat it cold... why would you eat it at all?

  Or at least, what happened to bringing your food down with your bare teeth? Yeesh! 

 What we do: Is take bird carcasses stewing in their own blood, (Mother Nature’s barbecue sauce!) then cook it real hard to dry it out as much as possible. Maybe with breading, to dry it out even farther. Or with salt-based seasoning, for yet another layer of dryness.

 Then we sell you sauce or a drink to counter that dryness. Which also are heavy with salt or sugar... which makes you more thirsty & throws your body’s fluid balances outta whack. 

 Like how cows will just blow up if they don’t get milked or their constant farting gets stopped up (Read it from a humor columnist! That means it MUST be true!) , Humans have domesticated themselves into being dependent on their preformed, mass-manufactured foodforms & unrecognizable from the species they used to be!

 Humans be crazy, man!

 So grumpy about this that I’ll have to chew on another burned Poptart!

Customer: Excuse me, do you need to use a stamp if you want a letter delivered?

Me:

 There any tech buffs about?

 I want a good comp I can learn to animate & draw on. … and I don’t know the first thing about technology. Those are some sort of program to buy or you need a special device for...?

*evil laugh intensifies*

Customer: Excuse me, do you need to use a stamp if you want a letter delivered?

Me:

Dirty Thieves and the Thunder Chief.

Dirty Thieves and the Thunder Chief.

I wish I was a Snorlax.

 Didn’t have ya face facts. 

  Just eat, sleep n’ get fatter.

    Everybody throws a festival n’ gets gladder. 

 Wish I was Nadder.

   A motherbuckin’ dragon wit’ a kickass Viking chick on my back,

   ...wish I wasn’t real. So I wouldn’t have ya chase & Feel.

64 bits, 32 bits, 16 bits, 8 bits, 4 bits, 2 BITS, 1 BIT, HALF BIT, QUARTER BIT, THE WRIIIIIIST GAAAAAAAME!

64 bits, 32 bits, 16 bits, 8 bits, 4 bits, 2 BITS, 1 BIT, HALF BIT, QUARTER BIT, THE WRIIIIIIST GAAAAAAAME!

Well, dinner went great. I had a bunch of food so I am absolutely stuffed.

Here is some pictures though!

Neat! Brand new fancyphone! And this here is my first thing to do on it! Surely nothing can go Roong!

  … also, buying phones is like trying to put down payments on a car... see where our priorities are this generation.

Why is there a 1 over Nightmare Moon?

 Sonic has a dragon character too? 

 Hold up while I completely swap fandoms here!

 Sonic has a dragon character too? 

 Hold up while I completely swap fandoms here!

Work is... getting overwhelming. It is hard to keep up. A guy asked if I was alright, on account of all the coughing I was doing, and he just kept saying "Hi" like he was just saying "Say you're fine already so I can get on with my day." 

It is hard to stop long enough to get a drink of water or literally breathe. Wish I could end a day not drenched through my clothes. I don't... feel competent or... worthy.