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Stone Cold Steve Jobs

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Status Updates posted by Stone Cold Steve Jobs

  1. Merry Christmas everyone.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      The moves are harmless when done properly. The Stunner can presumably cause injury to the trachea but is harmless if you fall to your knees with Austin. You then rebound and sell the move. The tombstone is harmless if your head is kept at the proper height. If it is done correctly, the user takes the whole impact with his knees and the victim is unharmed.

      All it takes is one botch to cause an issue though. The worst one in the last 25 years was probably Owen Hart dying. His gimmick was that of a "bufoonish superhero" and Vince decided  that it would be funny if he was lowered into the ring by a harness. When he got three feet above the ring, he would act like he was tangled, and it would trigger a quick release, dropping him on his face for comedic effect. They tried this stunt once before but the quick release did not release properly, so Owen was stuck dangling three feet above the ring. So they gave him a different quick release, one that was meant for sailing vessels. He went over the catwalk all gitted up, and at some point must have maneuvered to get  comfortable or something, because it released early and he fell like 73 feet to the ring, catching the ropes with his chest, and being flung back into the ring itself. He may have tried to get up but lost consciousness, and his cause of death was massive internal bleeding.

      The then-WWF controversially went on with the show at the order of Vince McMahon, but all the wrestlers were visibly shaken and not into it. The Hart Family sued the WWF and won for $18 million. 

      Vince insists that his call to continue the event was warranted because a cancellation would have left fans (many of whom were drunk) to riot. The next night saw a tribute to Hart, during which Mark Henry  wept while he read a poem dedicated to Hart, and Undertaker was absent, instead spending the day with Owens brother Bret.

      I'm Sorry for the tangent. I just really liked Owen and he was probably one of the nicest people behind the scenes.

    3. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      Gosh, sounded like a simple enough premise for an entrance. One assumes that falling a good distances would get you banged up pretty bad, but not irreparably. All depends on how ya fall too. You hear about that, a soccer player getting kicked too hard in a fall or what went down with that whole botched Spiderman broadway musical show where appearently several people died from bad props.

       It definitely is taking a risk for something so physical!

    4. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Owen probably would have survived if he landed in the ring itself. It is so good at shock absorption that he would have probably ended up with his entire front bruising, but he would have survived. The issue was a ref was apparently already in the ring. Some people heard him (Owen) screaming for the referee to get out of the way, but he didn’t see him. Owen moved in the air so he wouldn’t crush the guy, knowing it meant his odds of survival were less. 

  2.  

    1. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      That is truly some amazing, high-quality pixel art there! 

    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      You remember the first pokemon games and their animations? Basic flashing and movements. Nothing fancy.

      What was that truck for?

  3. I don't know why but this song made me think of you.

  4. Stevie Ray Vaughan. No further description required.

  5.  

    1. Wannabrony

      Wannabrony

      I watched that episode already, and I'm still surprised people were actually willing to get on the chair with Sal. :blink:

    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      You telling me you wouldn't sit on that man's lap? He's fricken Ja'Crispy dude.

  6. in case you need to know this for some reason.

    1. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      I have a sudden intense desire to legally change my name to Aneutron Star.

    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Jimmy Neutron beat you to the last name.

  7. The latest in a long stream of insults to your intelligence.

  8.  

    1. Passion

      Passion

      That was... seriously unexpected.

    2. Widdershins

      Widdershins

       Scientists have discovered the sound of gravitational waves...

        Long, silent pause...

      ...

          Supah Gangem Style!   Woodahdoodadoodahdoo!

  9. How could we possibly forget 3:16 day?!

  10. This was basically my reaction when I first heard Stevie Ray Vaughan.

  11. Without a doubt my favorite guitarist of all time. RIP Stevie Ray Vaughan.

    1. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      That's... I thought he was playing with his palm there for a moment! Lookit him just drenched in sweat from his preformance! That's... that's creative freedom there. That's happiness... think I just blew a blood vessel in my nose from blushing so hard from the awesomeness!

       Sooo awe-some!:wub:

    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stevie Ray Vaughan may have been one of the greatest guitarists of all time, though he considered himself to be behind Jimi Hendrix in talent. Hendrix, to be fair, was known for playing his guitar with his teeth!

      Shame they both died young. Stevie's brother still plays though.

  12.  

    1. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      ...

      Its a company, in the nation thats doing it. Our government is basically yard sale-ing.

        It's... gold. Just spend the gold? Doesn't that feel a bit... disrespectful that a government has to kowtow to an internet business?...

        Sigh. There's a reason I don't meddle in politics.

    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      You know this isn't a real news story, right? The Onion is a satirical news company.

    3. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      Oh? Didn't see their name anywhere on it. Was called the Financial fallout shelter, and as far as I can tell those looked like real government guys.

  13. Can you imagine being his dentist?

  14.  

    1. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      You honestly can’t blame her.

       Bet you anything that’s his actual wife too. “What is it with you & sandwiches!” What’s with your guitars!” “Idonyknow! Let’s work it out in a music video!”

       You remember when music videos had sense & story? I do. 

    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      That wasn't his wife, promise. Stevie wasn't married if I recall right, and he named one of his guitars after her as well as a song. He died in a helicopter crash in 1990. Damn shame.

  15. ”Art”

    1. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      ...So when does it start?

       Can we call twelve seconds a film?!

       'S pretty though! Maybe if I squint, I'll see a rocketship!!

    2. Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      Stone Cold Steve Jobs

      How come when I make something like this, it's because I am a horrible filmmaker, but when he does it, it's a masterpiece?

  16. God this guy is a riot.

  17. "Grandpa, after 40 years of marriage you still call grandma 'honey' 'sugar' and 'sweetheart'. What's your secret?"

    "I forgot her name 5 years ago and I'm scared to ask her."

  18. "I do pushups every day sometimes. Just sometimes I get lazy for weeks and don't do them but then I do them every day."

    -My friend

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