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ProbablyNotLyra

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EqE Character Comments posted by ProbablyNotLyra

  1. Hello ProbablyNotLyra!

     

    Welcome to the forums! It is great to see you apply to enter our famed Equestrian Empire (don't quote me on this :P). So on to the review...

     

    First things first, you will need a picture of Mirage. We don't expect the most awesomest commission or drawing, a simple Griffin Creator image will suffice (it exists).

     

    The likes and dislikes section will need some work. A lot of them are unexplained from where they come from. Like how does Mirage like or even know of Princess Luna? Why does he dislike snooty ponies? These are just some questions. Of course you don't have to explain things like his favorite food, that's fine. Others can be explained through either the personality or backstory section. Speaking of...

     

    Your backstory is too short. It needs to be three detailed paragraphs. Also in the last sentence you are mssing the necessary "animals" after dangerous. And your other section is only used for extra details, you don't need what is in there. It's fine to leave empty.

     

    Mirage is on his way to entering EqE. Just address these issues and I can put forward the coveted first approval.

    I think I've got it all down, but if I didn't do as good as you wanted, please be frank with me about it!

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