Sherem

Since I really don't have that much contact in these sites anymore I will take advantage of this space to let out some steam knowing I will receive little to no replies or reactions >:D

Each time I go into Discord and for some reason some of my old works go up and remind me of old times My mind is a mess, it becomes a version of GTA V scene of Michael's Sarcasm Rage. It kinda becomes something like this: 

My memories: is that Regret I'm sensing?

Me: oh you fucking A right is regret! a few moments ago I was happily sulking in genshin impact, and Discord and other media show up out nowhere to torture me over mistakes and dead friendships due to mistakes HONEST MISTAKES I made time ago! Here, my mind is flat fucking broke in all ideas for RPs art and all once gave me joy related to MLP. BUT HEY LETS SHOW SOME OLD STUFF RANDOMLY TO THIS POOR BASTARD ALL THOSE OLD WORKS TO SO I CAN LOWER MY SELF STEEM LOWER THAN ALREADY IS, DUE TO THE FACT THAT I AM A SCREW UP AND CAN'T EVEN HOLD ON TO MY "FRIENDS" FORGIVE ME YOU IGNORANT FUCK! BUT REGRET IS ALL FUCKING GOT! REGRET, AND ROOM FULL OF DEAD ILUSSIONS!

Trying to vector a new Sword for Sherem (yet again) to make it more "Original" so to speak...now the matter is the filling and the color scheme itself.

 

Well, most of Sherem's stories end with this:

DON´T LOOK FOR ME, DON'T CALL ME THOUGH YOU INSIST, IS TOO LATE. DON'T  ASK  ME TO RETUN TO YOUR SIDE I CANNOT GO BACK

A new Version of Sherem's Sword...the result of me going back to trying to create something after years of not picking up to drawing and vectoring

Will try to draw something after years and years of stagnation...I really don't expect something good...but this time I would feel is time to do it..

Art by: Iamsheila

Amazing work from an old friend here! this person has the skill, the talent and dedication, go check out I mean this person made boring old Sherem look good!

https://www.deviantart.com/...view more

Finally I can open myself to RP again, tough it's gonna be hard to find partners now

Realizing that I really like RPing, but feeling at the same time that doing it is kinda of a sin is quite hard. I think Is starting slowly but it's a bit unnerving still...

thank you for the following

I'm making slow progress to live without RPing, even though I started to do this months ago...is still hard to go through it, but realizing that I suck at all the content creation of any kind is a big step for me and recognizing that it's better like this. But DAMN IS HARD!

I guess I just need somebody to talk about this, not debate, not argue, just talk about it now.  About how I have been feeling these last months. And I can't use my family for these things because as much as I love them, this is a matter that is better to stay out of their heads. So, I guess all I'm saying is that Need somebody to talk to about all this.

After all these years since I left DA I finally feel lonely, truly lonely.

I cannot longer do anything, basing, drawing, RPing, fan fiction (because I suck at all of them) what can I do now? I still love the MLP universe, but is there really any point of trying anything now that I have left all of this behind?

well...thanks for the watch

Well here am I tonight, tipsy and still hating everything I have ever done as a Brony, from my Ocs, my stories my rps, my pics, I hate all that I did and those people that were part of it I'm sure they regret it as well. But I just hope that all of you found some peace this year and all that good stuff. Just one more night for me seeing how much of a failure I am as an author. Merry Christmas lucky bastards, hope you had a good one

@Amanita

It has been some months since we parted ways in an awkward and bad manner, I could never really tell when you were lying or just being stubborn. All the time we spent together here in the Forums was one big light on my creativity and my inspiration to keep going with the art and the stories, I thank you for all of that and more. But then again the truth was revealed to me, that I was too impatient...too attached to the story between our OC's and the many others you put into the world. It is clear to me now that I was never a good Role player and I will never be, yet there where so many things I wanted to do in that story with you. To make an ending that would satisfy us both, but at one point you couldn't take it anymore but you kept pushing for it, trying to pretend all was fine, even to this day I cannot tell what did I do that took the magic from that experience we had together, but I know that is my fault in the end. So today that I'm sitting in front of this bonfire, I have all the drawings I have made and all the stories I wrote in paper in my hand, I throw them into the fire knowing that all these Ideas have to stay in my head forever, never to be shared again for they are too bad and to toxic so that someone else hears or sees them. And now while I wait for another wave of people ready to harm my family and home, I grab whatever weapon I have at hand ready to defend, but knowing that I can be gone in any time of this chaos I want to send my deepest apologies and my deepest regrets for running what was a beautiful partnership and friendship with an amazing girl like you. I curse myself lots of times, but mostly I curse myself for having all the ideas that you had to bear and stand for in this year and half. I really can't bare myself to go again to the Avenue seeing that you are having more fun with other people than me. But I guess that's what is better from now on, you will find or have already found better partners and better stories. I no longer RP, because like I told you, you were the last RP I would ever do, my other regret is that I could not see that picture you were making about the Family of Sherem and Amanita. And all I ask is that never use Sherem as background for the future stories of Amanita or anything of that RP, Take care of Serenity and give her a new way and look. The way I could not do it.

Goodbye princess of the Blind kindness I hope you have happier days and partners ahead of you

Sherem

Butter Princess:

It has been almost 2 years since I left D.A. And 2 and half since we don't speak or that you see me as a pest or an awful excuse of a human being. These last years have been a point of reflexion on my actions between us. Like I told you before it was all my fault that things went to hell between us. My impatience got the better of me and I lay the first step to destroy the world that we worked hard to create with our stories and our characters. I will never be able to get over the fact of how stupid I was and that if I had been a better person back then, things might be different right now. But as all humans, I can't take back all I said all I did trying to cling to something that was already gone. I lost the track of what was the fiction and what was the real world. I can't deny that these last years have been like a punishment, missing you and your replies, but not those of only emojis and smiling faces, I miss the times you would write full lines and make things happen around our fictional world, but when things slowed down and you didn't told me the truth that you didn't want to continue and kept some illusion that we could go longer with our story. Why you did that? I don't know, maybe I wasn't sharp enough to see that, maybe you were waiting for me to to realize what was really going on and that I should have stopped it, but I didn't. I know I'm rumbling a lot right now, but that what I have been feeling all these years. I have not dared to enter D.A. anymore because it has been hard to move on, I don't search your works and if I have the bad luck too see anything of your work I close the window as fast I can. Even to this day remembering you hurts, but mostly hurts to know it was all my fault for losing a great partner and friend. Tonight I ask forgiveness for all my transgressions and wrongs I did to you. Realizing that my stories and my feelings are not meant to be shared with any girl, I sit in front of this bonfire waiting to defend what is left of me against the cruelties of my social reality and that of my country. I have in my hand all the sketches and written stories I had planned and I throw them into the fire knowing that it's not meant but to stay in my head and never leave there. I no longer RP and I no longer Draw anything, because I know I'm not good at it and I will never be. I will always hate myself for everything that I did to you, and knowing that never hearing from you or seeing a reply of you ever again is the right thing to be in this world. Know that I cannot hurt anybody anymore with the things in my head and I at least hope that is giving you some comfort. I don't know what you're up to or even if you still like MLP and EG but the truth I'm too much of a coward to see anything from you. 

Hoping you are finding happiness, new stories to dive into, singing and creating your art I bid you goodbye, and If I end up burning in the chaos of this political unrest of my country, the world doesn't loose anything that important.

Goodbye Princess of Golden Butter 

Sherem/Razthor

Well today, things are officially toning down to the point of clam, and it was not without sacrifices and some loses. Officially we have around 23 dead people during this riots and tons and I mean Tons of hurt People both physically and psychologically. Me included in both categories. My mind was already a mess without the hole matter of a fraud in the presidential elections. Now we add some hits around my torso and my arms from fighting rioters that almost broke into my house, side by side with my brothers and my neighbours. While I still have this fear and this few moments of realization I will write my apologies seeing that I almost got mauled by angry rioters and terrorists in my country. Now I know that these apologies might not reach both of them ever anyway, and if by a chance they reach them I doubt they care less that they would even reply to it, but it is time I do it before things get worse or by some chance I'm not longer here. And this small space is the only channel I have to do it. So to anypony this seems unethical or stupid, well just let me say you are not in my situation now.

Well, today wasn't any reports of people dying. But still the rioters and terrorist are out there, still I have trouble sleeping thinking of the safety of my family...I really think I will not have another chance and as long the admins allow it, let me write here in my letters of public apologies to both Pegasisters.

more dead today, and basically the guys that died almost blowed a lot of the city in the process, it feels like we are slowly going into a madness that we won't return. Is these days that one day I might not be here anymore and I believe it's time to compose my apologies to Amanita (Hymn) and Iamshiela (Butter Princess) before is too late

finally, a quiet night in almost a week, unrest is still in the country but it's more clam...people are dying out there but is it right to die for a government that left the country and that is supported by narcotics?

6th day well, the rioters matter is almost down...but then we get new information of possible terrorist cells from outside my country, ready to do any kind of act to make more chaos in my city, political unrest is high and some of the rioters have automatic firearms, things are not looking to improve with this

5th day holding against the rioters, it has been a calm day...the barricades are gone and some stuff has calmed down...but trouble arises when they tried to almost blow part of a nearby street by sabotaging the lines for domestic gas. I really can't trust even my own people and those that claim to work for state entities

4th day of holding against the rioters...we have removed our barricades, but the unrest and the acts of vandalism downtown of my city have not subsided...I still have trouble to sleep and I'm at the end of my rope with this situation...I feel like I'm gonna snap soon. 

3rd day officially and things are slowing down...but it's taken a toll on the mental fortitude and as well physical of my hole neighborhood as well as mine. Rioters are still in the Street and we are between barricades.

I would like to ask help here to the community of MLP if the admins are okay with it  and its allowed to explain my situation the forums

2nd day of holding on against rioters...still alive and more enraged with each passing day.

Maybe it's time to leave all, I don't belong in this fandom anymore, either with the fans or creative/creators