Here No Longer

*Now that I can actually properly participate in this* 779

Well I'd mostly have *loved* to have been born a girl outside of a couple of things neither I can mention here, but my birth assignment as male I'm beginning to loathe more and more.~ I hate the parts, I hate the chemicals in my body that are like *oooh nasty things*, I hate the look, I hate the clothes I had to/still sometimes have to wear, I hate the way society thinks people born male should be, I hate the lack of girly parts... The list goes on but it's safe to say for me being assigned male at birth is increasingly irking me.~

Even if my feet feel like they can't quite breathe in them, I love these shoes~

Yep, I'm going back to shaving every day instead~ That was a test to see if it was a good idea for me and it turns out it's not... Body hair and bikini nair are fine for me though~

"I'm a woman and anybody who says I'm not can take a hike~"

I'm wearing a black dress with a pair of white and blue striped knee high socks~

Let's see, well there's a few bullet points on this one since I'm not cis, and not straight in both senses of the word. I first knew I liked guys sexually and romantically when I was about 11 or so. I'll put this in since I was assigned male at birth. I saw a guy from a grade above me who I'd have a crush on for years walking around near the outside part of the school. I at that point identified as bisexual, and now I identify as omnisexual (essentially pansexual but I'm a little more picky). My romantic orientation was initially straight (from a girl's perspective, not from the amab perspective), but my mind on that has changed a little recently and now I just strongly prefer more masculine people in general romantically, still with a preference with people who identify as men or masculine~ As for my gender, I think signs of it go back to when I was 8 or 9 years old and seeing myself more in relation to the female characters of TV shows/cartoons/etc. But my egg initially cracked at 15 when I learned about the subject of transgenderism and at that point I was mostly sure I was a trans woman. After a failed relationship with somebody on these forums (@Magpie), I slipped to thinking I was nonbinary, and my egg about a month ago just kind of exploded after a dysphoric episode and I realized I was most definitely a nonbinary trans woman~ Also take gender related meme~

Wondering who's sick joke it was that I had to be assigned male at birth... While suffering from a bout of dysphoria...

Well I've gotten to wear a few fem outfits the past few days and loved every second of it~ Tried out nair specifically designed for facial hair and regretting every second of that though Burns even hours afterwards. Hopefully I can get through this transition sooner rather than later, and starting to think laser hair removal for my face would be nice to get~ I live with two housemates now also, one is a fellow trans woman (she's binary though, I'm a nonbinary trans girl), and the other is a masculine leaning nonbinary (they are her husband actually). They're really nice and helping me out through this whole ordeal... The dysphoria is pain. Getting it really really bad trying to get rid of this hair... Whatever force thought to give me a Y instead of a second X chromosome, I'm not happy, I wish it was an X. As for my orientation, I feel very omnisexual and omniromantic. I think I have come to realize I've never found the right non-man to be a partner, and I think I can love anyone who isn't a man as long as they are sufficiently masculine.~ Sexually though anything is fair game, but romantically I strongly prefer people who present more masc, though I think I could fall in love with fem people too just people who are less fem than me.~

I'm feeling like facial nair does not work for me~ I'm talking about nair specifically for facial hair also~ My face is still burning whenever I put water on it to try to get more hair off~ I'm coming off of a panic attack now as of the edit, I thought I had an intruder~

I'm feeling great about being able to be more freely able to express myself and be more gender-affirming...

Happy cries were to be had

Update on this, I identify more as a trans girl now but still a nonbinary one. I in fact intend to transition but don't know what that will entail yet. Sexuality-wise I'm unchanged, romantically is more flexible now, in some sense I'm bi or pan romantically now except I just prefer more masculine people.

I'm a girl, but I have some and I don't like it... Thick follicles, 5 o'clock shadow... I wish I never had it. Oh the pains of being born wrong.

I was looking for Nair my new housemates have but I came up empty.

I feel a nervous euphoric high right now

That feeling when you just likely added a new name to your list of exes.

Did the one above at some point and ended up with this:

Eating my lunch or you could say breakfast since I didn't eat before that? *shrugs*

I'm thinking about how other people will react to me being transgender. Mostly concerned with one particular person that I'm not so sure will accept me as a woman.

Things cannot keep on going like they are... I'm already struggling with my own problems, but I can't have this toxicity on top of all of that. I just can't.

https://picrew.me/image_maker/157004

Had a couple of pieces of Orange Chicken and a bit of fried rice earlier. Leftovers from people ordering Chinese food.

https://picrew.me/image_maker/259399

I might end up being single again in the near future... Having to choose between the man I love and the woman I am is going to be quite rough...