I'm sorry I called you "dude", I didn't know you were a pansexual gender fluid non-binary moca frappuccino with dual acting hydraulic cylinder and leather grip swiss army knife
who also identifies as female
I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged into the room out of nowhere, tripped, and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now I don't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let's say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries.
Joseph had gotten a big glass shard in his eye, making him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those big cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared, along with my girlfriend.
Apparently they'd bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together, leaving me behind without as much as a note. I tried to track them down, but never could.
In conclusion, if it hadn't been for Joe with his cotton eye, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?
"TORGUE MUNITIONS HAS A POP QUIZ FOR YOU, SKAGLICKER! YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY A DOZEN STEELY-EYED BANDITS! DO YOU: A ) BLOW THEM TO SMITHEREENS WITH YOUR TORGUE ASSAULT RIFLE, B ) RUN AND TAKE COVER, OR C ) CALMLY GET THEM TO PUT THEIR WEAPONS DOWN AND YOU KNOW THE ANSWER IS A! BUY A GODDAMN TORGUE GUN!" - Torgue Radio Ad; Borderlands 2
Scientifically, a raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing. They are called pinion feathers. A crow has 16.
So, the difference between a crow and a raven is only a matter of a pinion.
I lost my watch at a party once.
An hour later, I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party.
Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose.
No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.