Status Updates posted by A French Derpy full of Salt
To show you the power of Flex Tape,
I just cut this post in half!
I love people that defend Epic Games, they always switch between "it's good for the competition! It forces Steam to offer better!" and "90% of Steam's features are useless".
What makes it funnier is how Steam has been the leader in the PC marketplace for so many years and has offered tons upon tons of incredible deals to gamers, but then Epic makes their shitty store and all of a sudden Steam is "bad". To me, Epic is simply an extremely arrogant company all because of their piece of shit conformity machine, Fortnite. They don't deserve any praise.
No hipsters. Don't be coming in here with your hairy faces, your vegan diets, your tiny feet and your sawdust bedding.
NO WAIT, HAMSTERS! NO HAMSTERS!
A termite walks into a bar and asks: “Where’s the bar tender?”
Why does the sibling-less writers always write sibling being nice to each other like "Hey, sis!".
The truth is "Hey, dipshit"
You know what's in my mind?
Doritos, extra spicy, with ham, to make a hamburger, with the dorito in the center and the ham at the ends.
Gosh, I'm hungry.
Welp, Tiny Tina ain't Tiny anymore. AND WHERE'S MISTER TORGUE FLEXINTON? I WANT TO BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
Ah, tick-tick-tock. Is that the sound of a Geiger counter or my lifespan counting down? It's both!
That's right. Here at Black Mesa, when we talk about "half-life," we mean it in more ways than one.
So make your peace, and come to Black Mesa.
Here, you'll win a chance to fight freaks of nature, escape countless safety hazards, wander aimlessly for hours, and die scared, tired, and alone!
A Hat in Time done in 1:32:02!
Old time was 1:46:29
I would never vaccinate my kids. It's unnatural, expensive and dangerous.
I will take my kids to the doctor so he can vaccinate them instead.
The SFM pony models are planned in maybe 2 weeks, when I'll have more free time.
On the 30th tour of MvM in TF2, I got my 2nd australium!
An australium Minigun, and I've put the Professional Killstreak Minigun Kit I've crafted 2 weeks ago.
From 3.60€ to 80€, I'm so happy.
So, about the improved SFM poney models. I can't have more than 96 flexes (facial expressions), so, I can't have the eyebrows AND the mouth moving in the same model.
So, I'll try with the old fillies models.
Almost a year ago, I was compiling SFM pony models for others. There's now a filly model that I can use and a 3rd version of adults model.
Should I come back making those models?
Those chickens are up to something. The plot chickens.
I don't know why Marvel hasn't tried to put advertisements on the Hulk.
He's essentially a giant banner.
Did you know a group of piranhas can eat a child in 30 seconds?
Anyways, I got fired from the aquarium, today.
This is the moment where I hate life sometimes. I'm sick, cold and you know when you're about to sneeze but it doesn't come out?
Yeah, that but with vomit.
FOR 6 HOURS!
AND IT'S NOT DONE!
Now that I think of it, I think I remember how I "burned out" my old CPU.
45 Cluster nukes on Garry's mod.
I love when you say you passed 10 hours on the computer, they all go crazy, but 10 hours on the TV watching movies?
I shall rename OVERWATCH to "the game gave me spammy ability that I called spam"
Game: Can you aim?
Game: good, here's some ability and character that don't need to aim and you will be called a "pro".
Poor Stan Lee, our greatest hero of our time.
CARROTS ARE THE NERDS OF THE VEGETABLE KINGDOM.
CARROTS ARE THE KINDS OF ASSH*LES THAT ADD “THEY’RE*” TO A POST.
CARROTS ARE THE KINDS OF ASSH*LES WHO ASK YOU TO CITE SOURCES EVEN WHEN THEY DON’T HAVE SOURCES OF THEIR OWN.
CARROTS WORRY THAT MAYBE THE WORLD IS GETTING “TOO PC”
CARROTS LEAVE A FACEBOOK CONVERSATION WITHOUT COMMENTING WHEN IT ISN’T GOING THE WAY THEY WANT
CARROTS USE THE HANDICAPPED PARKING SPOT EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE NO HANDICAPS OKAY NOW THAT I’M TYPING THIS ONE OUT I REALIZE THEY HAVE NO ARMS LEGS OR EYES SO THEY PROBABLY QUALIFY YEAH NEVERMIND ON THIS ONE
CARROTS THINK THAT ANYONE WHO GETS ANGRY DISCUSSING SOCIAL ISSUES IS TOO EMOTIONAL TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY
CARROTS MAKE SUPER SPECIFIC ORDERS IN THE DRIVE-THRU AND THEN COMPLAIN WHEN A DETAIL’S WRONG
CARROTS TRY TO RETURN THINGS WITHOUT THE RECEIPT
CARROTS DON’T GIVE THEIR COWORKERS CREDIT WHEN A GROUP PROJECT IS TURNED IN
CARROTS USE THE GROUP TEXT FUNCTION FOR ONE ON ONE CONVERSATIONS
CARROTS LIKE TO REMIND YOU THAT WRESTLING ISN’T REAL
CARROTS DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN CASUAL GAMERS AND REAL GAMERS
CARROTS SEND ANON HATE