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Status Updates posted by Midnight Solace
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Is it bad that I have never celebrated Christmas with my family? I'll consider the forums to be my family, I guess. My only friends are here.
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It's raining... Again.
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@Phasereale I guess I'm fine... I just wish things could get better.
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I Just Realised That I Haven't Typed Like This In A Long Time.
- Show previous comments 1 more
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@Dark Horse My OCD Tells Me To Type Like This.
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I'm starting to think everyone hates me. And that's okay. Because I hate me too. Everything I seem to do is wrong, I can't even do anything right for once.
- Show previous comments 9 more
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Thanks guys, it's just that sometimes I feel hated by others. Just because I don't react, doesn't mean I don't notice. All I ever wanted to do was be a better pony, but nothing I do is never good enough, anything and everything I do seems to be always wrong.
I'm just not sure if I'm a good pony, or not. I just think I'm always annoying others...
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As much as I don't like using this word, but I'm going to have to help a friend out of mine. So, here goes.
I don't hate you buddy! I really care about you and I love having you as a friend! You didn't anything wrong and you shouldn't be hating yourself. Now, if I don't get back to you on your comments on my posts or comment you back. It's not that your bothering me or anything bad. It's just that I'm usually busy, but most of the time when I get off work. I just want to go home and relax. So, I really care about you I love you as a friend!
@Midnight Solace *Phasereale gives Midnight Solace a big hug*
Just remember buddy that I really care about you! If you going through some deep depression, then I know how you feel. I have depression myself, but it's Major Depression and it's on a pretty high level for me as well.
I'll always be here for you my friend!
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I would love to have a bubble bath.
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Here I am again. Feeling like I'm not wanted. Feeling like I'm worthless. And even though I'm alive, feeling dead. I'm so ashamed of myself all the time. I just feel so useless and replaceable.
I'm a strong pony. But you want to know what makes me cry? It's when I gave my best but I'm still pathetic. I'm always under constant despair and stress.
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When ponies look at your profile page multiple times without really doing anything, do you feel a bit creeped out? Or is it just me?
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I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.
SpoilerIf I could end my life without hurting the ponies I love, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
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I hate myself. I don't even know how I can live with myself. I always seem to be the problem and I can never do right. It's always my fault. I don't deserve to be happy.
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WHAT HAPPENED? WHY DONOR?
I mean, I would donate in cash... Did something wrong happen, @Jeric?
*Confusion*
Did somepony give to the thingy to me?
- Show previous comments 2 more
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@Celtore Omigosh, I'm not just happy, I'm amazed at your kindness, considering that you... Don't know me that well.
Thanks dude, you have certainly made my day.
*Hugs*
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Tears are words that need to be written. I just wish I knew how...
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Do you guys know any ideas on what to draw? I mean, I have some, but I don't know if they're good ideas.
One is of Midnight sitting on a rooftop of a high building, watching the skyline and the cars below.
And the other one is him looking outside a window, watching the CMCs play in the snow while he just sits there, wishing he had friends.
What do you guys think? Any advice would be really helpful!
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I'm starting to feel bad for expressing myself through blogs and status updates. I look at myself as if I'm just wanting attention...
I just don't want to be a bother to anypony.
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Whoops. I drank too much when I was outside with Twily again, and then I realised I had school tomorrow...
Thank Celestia for autocorrect.
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@Phasereale I think you know who my favourite pony is.
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- Show previous comments 15 more
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@Sparklefan1234 ...But they're humans. I don't think the people who rated it even saw the film.
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I'm still really, really tired even though I slept for half the day. I just don't know why though... Is it the lack of motivation again?
- Show previous comments 12 more
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@Kevin Tang If I try taking them any earlier, it probably won't work. My body is used to having them at a certain time, because I have done for the last 5 years. My body also doesn't like change... It's complicated.
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Yes, the "3" is gone.
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I think I have forgotten how it's like to "not be tired."
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I'm just gonna say one thing before I sleep.
Banner.
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I've been playing on the Xbox for a long time now... Not with another pony, though.
I think I've given up on drawing. For now, at least. I have no thoughts of creativity, but instead thoughts of pain and suffering. This has been going on for quite while now...
I really want to do the December art contest, but my mind is blank.
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Nopony cares unless you're rich, popular, beautiful or dead.
- Show previous comments 10 more
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Well that's what I get for living in a such friendly community without enough suffering from bullying
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Oh, what you're saying is horrible. Sorry to hear that. It's always like this - if you're not an arrogant bastard, who insults everyone in sight, you're more likely to become the target of jokes, as those haha-funny-guys will feel safe with what they're doing. It's really bad, that we can't do much to help you.
It's absolutely terrible, I perfectly know that, but don't let them wreck you. They're the ones with mental issues (come on, telling someone to kill himself is a crime) and/or lack of social skills, not you. You're nice and you have a talent - they're not, so shame on them.
It's sad, that your parents don't support you as they should. Maybe there is someone else you can trust, such as teachers? Telling someone to perform a suicide is a crime, they should end up in youth detention center. I've heard it's a really fun place to be.
Either way, the good thing is, that this will eventually end. You'll graduate and you won't have to see any of them anymore. There's the whole future before you - hopefully way better than your present. Focus on yourself and do what you can, to improve your future - they won't be there, so it's worth going for this. I know, because I've been through this myself back when I was going to school - now it's all different. Even if someone tries to bully me nowadays, I don't care.
I know it's tough and impossible to ignore, but don't give up. They can't do anything to you, besides saying stupid things, that is. If they will cross that line (e.g. do physical harm), you'll have all the necessary evidence to bring them problems.