as i work i will fix it, and as for the prologue i meant it mostly to fill in some blanks in the story, as well the story is going to get better soon.
here is a quick look where its going
note this bit is in first person and will be twicked later
Like the ponies below the sky was crying, for all things wept that day, that accursed day, a very special pony was taken from us. I tried my best not to show how sad I really was, but I know no matter how I felt, Twilight and Luna have it far worse. “Why, why, if I was stronger… it should have been me.” I said to myself trough my tears.
updated
im working on the story and character reactions
still would like to hear everyones ideas on my work