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Vivi_Dovah

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  1. Vivi_Dovah

    gaming Katawa Shoujo

    It looks like this thread is super old, but I recently played a couple routes in this game and I really really want to talk about it! I was introduced to this game years ago by a friend, but at that time I just thought it was weird and disturbing to make a game focused on dating girls with disabilities, so I ignored its existence for a while. Then I started getting very involved with anime and manga, which lead me to remembering this odd game, downloading it, and now here I am finished with Hanako and Rin's storylines. *LIGHT SPOILER ALERT FOR ANYONE YET TO PLAY THE GAME* I guess I'll start with Hanako's. I was super intrigued by her at first, then the intrigue began tapering off somewhere in the second or third act? Nonetheless, I started losing interest out of boredom. But in the fourth act or right before it, I regained that love initial for her and I was pretty happy with the way things ended. I got the good ending first, a rollercoaster of emotions but eventually a heart-warming show of Hisao and Hanako finally coming to understand each other. Then I went to retrieve the bad ending right afterwards, and I gotta say it was a devastating comparison. The way they acted was... infuriating and depressing. Hisao was extremely pushy which actually made ME uncomfortable, refusing to leave when Hanako asked him to, essentially demanding to be there and protect her because he believed she was too weak and couldn't do anything for herself. Looking at Hanako's behavior made me depressed because in that final scene, I could honestly see a lot of myself in her. Not so much in her words, but in the way that she lashed out at Hisao for basically seeing her as a child, for not listening when she begged him to stop and to leave, or listening at all throughout the path to unlock this ending. I understood her frustration clear as day, which is why it didn't seem to me that there were as many hypocritical behaviors in her character as other people believe there are. The hypocrisy she displayed seemed to be about as much as a regular person shows, which made her seem very real and relatable to me (although I am nowhere near as shy or hateful of other people). Overall, I enjoyed her story but I would not say there is much replay value because of how easily I grasped all the concepts and development. For those who don't go into it understanding those kinds of emotional wounds or the mental consequences of them, her story could be a complete hit or miss; opening their eyes to the sensitivities of others and realizing the importance of believing in their strength while having the patience to let them find it, or feuling resentment to the childish demeanor Hanako depicts due to unsolved trauma, or simply boredom at the prospect of a very slow and occasionally predictable path. Okay, so now onto Rin's path! I fell in love with her from the very first interaction in the art room, but at that time I had already decided I would invest in Hanako's story first. So, it took me a few tries to realize I had to reject EVERYONE in order to reach Rin, which seemed to impact me much more than Hanako, whereas you can start with Lilly's friendship to reach her. Rin captivated me entirely, and I found myself deeply caring about her perspective, humor, and especially the ways in which she resembled my own personality. I was even angry with Hisao for his dislike of her personality, and was upset at how often he expressed his frustration with her quirks. As time went on, I grew to like her more, but also began understanding Hisao's frustration at her dodgy answers (if you could even call them answers) and random nonsensical remarks to try to curve a conversation away from an uncomfortable topic. But again, with time, I began to understand her more although most of the theme circled the inability to understand. I found myself relating to her to a point that became extremely uncomfortable, and certain scenes pulled some tears out of places in my heart that I often forget are wounded. One instance was during the time Hisao yelled at her in his bedroom. He accused her of using him, because she had pushed him away in order to further destroy herself and pursue painting; the only thing she felt she could do right sometimes. Her reactions in this scene reflected me in many ways which made me feel for her and resent Hisao to a further extent, with the few words she spoke being misinterpreted, and the atmosphere she gave off of being not uncaring, but of what I interpreted as confusion and a blank mindstate in the face of conflict. I have experienced shutting down while being yelled at MANY times, and it always comes off as having no emotions toward the situation which generally causes the other person to be angrier. In other situations, where I try to defend myself as she did during the reprimanding by Nomiya, everything she says is useless and has no meaning because she speaks timidly and is completely drowned out by the rage of the other party. And now, to bring Hanako back into this briefly. Had Rin instead opted to be forceful like in the bad ending with Hanako, she would have been perceived as crazy and irrational which I have also experienced. When dealing with someone unable to control their anger, there is no way to win, and all of that which I mentioned is only part of why I absolutely adore Rin. In the scene following her argument with Nomiya, she says many things that break my heart and was probably the highest point of relation between her and I, and I will directly quote one particular phrase: "People are doing things I don't ask for and dont want and everyone keeps getting angry at me, I have no idea what is going on anymore and I cant stop feeling like I want to run away from everything...". If every story causes me to reflect this deeply about myself and the people I associate with out of familial bonds or imaginary obligations, I may become more confused and conflicted with myself than I already am and reach a level of dissociation as advanced as Rin's. This entire story has been surprisingly exactly what I needed to experience recently. WIth how desperately I look to be understood through actions, words, art, everything... I have to learn to accept that not everyone will, no matter how much energy or how many different methods I use in trying. But also, that I can't push everyone away thinking that no one will understand me at all ever. There are too many instances to mention in Rin's story that essentially hold up a mirror to myself, which is strange considering that she herself said anything with eyes that isnt alive is creepy, like a reflection in the mirror. Rin is like my mirror, and that is why, just taking a wild guess here, her path will probably forever and always be my favorite. It was executed beautifully by the creators, and I am extremely thankful for the depth and level of self-awareness present here. When I finish more storylines, I just may come back with my opinions on them as well!
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