Do any of you realize how long I've been sitting here, biding my time? Do any of you realize how many frivolous events, redundant status updates and dead end topics I've been forced to endure, in the name of finding out what's really been going on with my hive as of late?
Don't answer that.
If you're a changeling, then you know why I'm here, and you'd better read on if you don't expect a scolding in person, later.
If you're not a changeling, please disregard this message, as it does not apply to you.
If you are a changeling, metamorphised or otherwise, you are to get your shimmering tails off this site, and back home, at once.
What started as a benign hobby has grown out of control. Chores and duties around the hive are getting neglected left and right. Two days ago another surprise Maulwurf attack on our hive, and I barely had five warm bodies fighting with me. After investigating the matter, I've found that this place is to blame. This community, so saturated with positivity, has attracted changelings like moths to the flame. Worse still, it keeps them here, distracting them with commemorative badges and other useless trinkets, rewarding further engagement.
I've had it. A changelings' priorities start with their hive, not some frilly, online social community.
That is all. If you do not return home, or otherwise notify me of your intended return within two days, I will come and find you. Trust me, you do not want me to come and find you.