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Lucid dreaming is close, all I need it to truly try and not give up on putting myself into sleep paralysis at 4 am
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Idk if you're doing the same things an old acquaintance of mine was doing but I say it's not worth it.
I lucid dream in practically every single one of my dreams, but like it's cool, but that's it. Idk when I started doing it but could for years. Maybe you're trying to gain some sort of mastery where you can just make things appear at whim, but still. I've tried it in my dream. Couldn't do it. I've done it on accident tho.