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Hazardus_Havard.

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Everything posted by Hazardus_Havard.

  1. In this topic, we'll be discussing a game called Starbound, an indie developed game from Chucklefish. Starbound is a game that's full on space travel and filled with randomly generated worlds and packed to the brim in exploration and building. This game is very akin to the game, Terraria, where you go around and build things in a 2d landscape. What's different here is that you'll be encountering new areas not by the click of a new game, but by going into space and traveling into new, randomly generated worlds. Think robots, spaceships, and being different species for your in game avatar. So what exactly will be in this game? "Not only is the terrain of the planet procedurally generated, but the weather, the gravity, the difficulty level, the plant life, the behaviour and appearance of alien creatures, and much more all contain random or procedurally generated elements." This will give us a lot of interesting builds to go through and a vast amount of replayability for each world visited. They're also claiming the ability to change many of these attributes if you so desire. Of course, this will make a wiki for worlds very difficult since they'll be randomly generated, but don't worry! The game states as to having an in-game writing pad to write down any and all findings you have about any world you visit. This means you'll be running around, writing about the many things you'll discover in your notes and learn about the new worlds. It's not stated how in-depth this feature will be, but it sure is an exciting one to think about. Worried that all you'll be getting is a sandbox game? No worries then, since Chucklefish is also building in a story into Starbound. "Starbound begins with you fleeing your homeworld in a space shuttle, just as it’s destroyed by an unknown enemy. With nothing to guide it, the escape pod shoots into space without direction, becoming hopelessly lost in a sea of stars. As luck would have it, the space shuttle touches down on a habitable planet and an adventure begins that will take you hurtling across the universe. Starbound contains both quests and story driven missions, buried inside its vast sandbox universe." Another key feature is the ability for multiplayer, and with no max limit of how many people you can play with. The only thing setting it back is how many people your server can hold. And yes, this game will also allow single player if you so desire. There is no release date out as of yet, but they confirmed that it will be coming out some time in 2013, along with a beta. It will be out on Windows, Mac, and Linux. There is no plans as of yet on a console version. The pre-order will cost you at least $15 to get in, and that comes with a copy of the game and a Steam key when it comes out, the beta, and the soundtrack. There are also different perks for additional cash that allows you to put in the game some personalized stuff. It seems Chucklefish is doing a lot here for their game, more than most would expect from something like this. Here's to hoping that this game succeeds on all they're planning to put into it. http://playstarbound.com/
  2. True, people should be waiting until at least for E3 to showcase more things for the console before ultimately judging it. Sadly for Microsoft, they got completely sideswiped with Sony and their console. Heck, Sony even showed off little bits of their console before the One was even showed. Sony's playing aggressively, and they seem to be in a very good place as of now. E3 will be the final cut for people to decide on preorders for either console and what to get.
  3. That's just how I look at games and other things. I look at both the pros and cons of things before ever trying to purchase something or even considering purchasing something. I could've broken down the other consoles as well, since I've been keeping up on all the consoles, handhelds, and a little on the PC as well. I've also either owned or played a lot on the consoles so I could get a better judgement on what they could do. I've been through three Xbox red rings with three separate consoles, and that's why I owned a PS3 for a majority of my gaming time on a ship until I got home and got a PC and a Vita. As of now, I'm actually leaning towards the WiiU for a console. It's going to have an HD remake of Wind Waker along with Pikmin 3 and a future Super Smash Bros. game for it. But for now, it's not a buy for me until I see some more third party games on that thing so I know later on down the road I'll have more games on it. I'll just wait to see in the upcoming E3 to show me the consoles before I decided on what console I should buy. And I still think the One is a silly name, though once more, it's a stupid play on their 360 name if you think about it. I really hope they do wind up changing how it looks in the very least. Seriously, if they wanted to make it look like that, some wood paneling would've been great to see on that thing instead of making it look like... that. Trying to remember if that's pounds or Euros. I'll go with Euros. Either way, that means you're winding up paying even MORE than us! Good god, are you insane?! Seriously, you should've really held on waiting until after E3 to have done that. Also, I've been inside those Game stores. I recall being in one with a lot of DVD's and other things being sold as well, sort of weird. Isn't that company going into hard times? From what I've been told from people that used to buy from that store, I thought they closed up.
  4. Wait, I JUST realized what you said here for a different reason! How in the HELL did you preorder a console that doesn't even have a figure out for how much this thing is going to cost?!?!?! For all you know, this thing is going to cost around $400, not including any taxes! It might even cost more! And that's not even including the games! And there isn't even a proper release date for when this thing is coming out! Seriously, you should try and get your money back until you get proper figures and see things at E3 or you just might be paying out of your ass trying to get one of these things.
  5. Okay, that's understandable. Your friends are going to purchase it, and you want to make sure you can play with them. And seeing as how EA is more or less a major supporter of the One, then you'll be seeing the usual exclusive early DLC and other things from them. But are you really ready for the hassle of having to make sure you turn your system on at least once a day to connect to Microsoft's servers? Or not being able to share games with your friends, having to pay a fine for the privilege to play a used game? Personally, I don't think I can handle all that, not to forget the subscription fee of the Xbox Live that also needs to be added in. But if you feel fine with all that, I hope you enjoy your purchase. Just don't forget you may have to buy additional things, like more hard drive space, later on down the road.
  6. I'm genuinely curious as to why you preordered the Xbox One over the PS4 or buying the WiiU. I mean, with the PS4 it'd still be the same graphical setup, though with different exclusives. It's not like you can play any of your 360 games on it or it's got a proper advantage that we can see as of yet against the other consoles. Personally, I believe everyone should wait until E3 has come and gone to give us some proper insight on the full capacity on the PS4 and the XBox One to choose between the two.
  7. The Xbox One looks like a neat piece of hardware, but it doesn't really speak out to me. This thing doesn't look like a video game console, and for everything that they were questioned about, it seems they're backpedaling on most of the questions or don't want to reveal anything. It's really hard to look at this and wonder if I should put money into this thing while there's still two other consoles to look forward to, along with my PC. Let's look at some of the pros in this thing: New hardware built into it means better experience overall, which should be expected from a new console. While still not as great as a PC, it's a definite upgrade from the 360. And hey, it finally comes with a Blu-ray! Microsoft is partnering up with the NFL so that their media attention for the One will come to great use. While not a fan of the sport myself, I can see a lot of people loving the idea of instant coverage from the NFL through their televised needs. Speaking of television, this thing should be easily integrated so you can watch television through it and switch back and forth from games to television easily and with no hassle or slowing down. The Kinect is fully upgraded as well and it's bundled with every One (meaning it's a free piece), so lovers of that little piece will be able to play with better efficiency than the 360's version. That controller looks to be wireless, which is a great thing to see finally done from the get-go. They did state this console will be getting eleven exclusives, and eight of them are new IP's. That's a pretty big deal seeing as most console gaming is made up of existing franchises with sequels. From how things went, it looks like EA will be supporting the ever loving hell out of Microsoft's Xbox One. So expect exclusive DLC offers and things to come just like it did with the 360. Your 'gamerscore' will transfer over from your 360. Along with this, the achievement system is getting an overhaul. You can talk to your One! Tell it to turn off or put in a game. Neat idea there, though I'm wondering how they'll pull it off. Dislike plugging in disks over and over? No problem! You can download your games into the One! Just take your disk and download away! You can plug in new HD's, so that'll allow you to store memory away in other places. There's also going to be a Halo television series for the One directed by Steven Spielberg himself! Some pretty good points here. But, what are the cons? This thing looks like it was built to be a media center, not a gaming console. Their presentation didn't even look like they were competing with Sony and Nintendo, more like they were competing against Google and Apple instead. Absolutely no backwards compatibility. It's not being considered at all. Used games? A deal of the past! More or less, if you want to purchase a used game or even just borrow one from a friend, you have to pay. By pay, I mean real cash to activate the privilege to play the used game. We were barely shown anything related to gaming on a gaming console. It seems like most of their showcasing was revolved around it's multimedia and what it could do, such as talking to a console. For gamers, this felt like Microsoft forgot they were making a gaming console. The downloading of games is a neat thing, but the hard drive size is not. It's only 500GB, and you'll be using a lot of space real quick. While they allow new HD's to plug in, that's additional things you'll have to buy for more space since the hard drives can NOT come out like the 360 ones. Just so you know, a typical 1TB HD at Walmart (a Seagate) is $89.99 in the states, not sure about other countries. Speaking of other countries, the multimedia aspect doesn't seem like it'll work all that well in other countries, such as over in Europe or Japan. While I can't say for certain since I don't live there, from what I've been told from people there and read up, it won't be as well compatible as it would with American purchasers. The Online is confirmed to not always be online. That's a good thing, right? Not so much when you learn that you HAVE to plug it in at least once every twenty-four hours to be able to use your One at all. Oh, and they did allow it so certain games could be always online if the publishers so desire... Finally, and this is my opinion on things, it's ugly and has a horrible name. Why in the hell would they name this thing the Xbox One? I actually get why they named it the 360 now, because by doing one you're right back at the start with the Xbox. Get why the called it the One now? And why does this thing look like my old VCR? Seriously, it's just so ugly looking. There's probably more to say here that hasn't been put out. I've been scouring the internet for information and this seems to be the ones that appear the most. Any others have something to add in on this? For me, I'm not so certain, but I don't think I'll be going with the XBox One with how things are as of now. The PS4 and the WiiU seem more interesting, and if anything I at least have my PC and Vita to play with.
  8. Whoa, why isn't this up in the threads?! People, start voting for this so we can see some MLP in the next Dark Souls game! Seriously, a shield with Discord on it?! Come ON people, get to it! Edit - You can STILL vote for the shield! The part to submit NEW shields is over, but NOT to vote! SO VOTE DISCORD into the next Dark Souls game!
  9. I really wish you had either scanned this, or taken the picture straight down on it and not at an angle, along with making the light not shine so brightly on one spot. It makes looking at the image difficult and critiquing hard. As for the image itself, while it's minimalistic in how it was drawn, it's actually fairly accurate, even in the mane and tail, and on the most difficult character to do that with. Good job on that one. The horn should be a tad lower, and pointed outwards, not up. Also for next time, stretch her body a little. It's a bit short in length. And her hind legs make it look like she has three of them. As for the clothing, I'm guessing this is where the crossover on 'Boudicca' comes in? You should've put a cross picture of her so people can see how it compares. Even if the clothing is simpler to how Boudicca is, it should be like that. It's MLP, and many things are simplified in that show. So yeah, not a bad image. Just next time, please get a better image. Also, maybe not use whatever medium you used to make this image since it seems difficult to fix mistakes (I'm guessing either black marker or charcoal).
  10. Okay, I just got this thing done. I'm surprised, it seems I'm getting faster at vectoring things. Anyways, the sketch and outline are below along with the final product. Image requested from ToxicNinja78.
  11. I'm still trying to learn how to animate, but I'm taking a break today so I might be able to do a resketch and a possible vector later on. Can't guarantee anything though. I believe the character limit is in place so people are forced to actually write well thought out messages instead of just throwing in a few words at a time, though every now and then, a few words is sometimes all that's needed when saying something (though rarely do I see this). If you just practice, you'll get good at something. Pick one you really like and keep trying at it over and over until you're fairly adept at it. My first vector took me over three weeks just to complete it, and it looked like crap. This image here took me only a few hours to complete, and that's not including the sketch. That was just a doodle I was messing with that turned out better than expected, which is why it's a vector now. I even write some fiction, and if you look at my sig, you'll see a link to my stories. My first story isn't even on that site, and it's abysmal to even look at it! Now, I feel pretty confident in my writing (though I'm writing in a present style and I'll probably try the more accepted past style next time). Just practice and you'll eventually start getting good at something.
  12. I decided to draw up Carrot Top and do a vector of her. Maybe I'll do more vectors of characters later on, not sure. This came out better than I thought it would. Below are images of the sketch and outline.
  13. Granted. Your only role in the Homestuck universe is to make beds and to make sure they're kept clean with new sheets and blankets daily. That's all you can do and that's all you'll ever do while receiving a balanced diet of food and isolated breaks to yourself for fitness and entertainment, to keep you alive for a very long time to continue making beds for the rest of your existence. I wish I had a Wacom Cintiqu.
  14. Other entries? Wait, so people are showing them off? I know Feld0 said that's perfectly fine, but I wasn't aware that anyone would be showing them off until after the contest was over with, like tomorrow.
  15. Once again, I agree with you, and on both accounts. My work as of late used to be proofed by someone that, if you knew him, you'd believe he wrote the entire dictionary by himself and added a few words for good measure. And yes, past tense is an easier way to write and harder to read if not done properly. If someone was to practice writing that way however, I think it would make the overall story much more engaging. It just takes a lot more practice to write in that way, which I am currently doing as of now. So yeah, I'm not disagreeing with you. But from what I've learned, present seems to be easier to read, even though at times it can be more difficult to write.
  16. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Want to know why it's easier? It's because you're writing it as if you're currently seeing it happen. Not in a literal sense, more like you're there to witness the event and you're writing it down. That's actually a bad habit to have. I apparently had it for many years and only just recently in the past few months learned to get out of it. Unless you're writing your stuff in past for a reason, do it in present since the actions are happening in the story as they're being read. An example for a reason to write it in past is if you're writing it like someone's telling the story to another person, so it then turns the story into a narrative piece. But since you're writing this as a current event, it should be written in present. Yes, it takes more work keeping correct. The overall writing though, it'll definitely make it easier to read and better to understand.
  17. You do know that second perspective writing involves the 'you' in it, correct? You walk down the street, curious as to where the singing is coming from. "Just where is she?" you ask yourself out loud. "It's so dark to see where it's coming from." That's in the second person, which I write my story in here - http://www.fimfiction.net/story/70801/an-alien-walks-amongst-us I write a lot of my work in the second person, though I can write in both first and third as well. What you were writing in is considered third person, which involves he, she, him, and her to start off with. Also, I got hammered hard on my own past/present tense when it came to writing. When writing, always consider what you're doing and if it's the now, or if it's already happened. Her eyes were transfixed on the cauldron now embedded in her ceiling. I'll use this as an example for you. You use 'were', but that means she's not looking at it anymore. So where's she looking now? If it's happening in the present as your reader is reading, it should be 'are'. That's why I changed the tensing in your work, because it made more sense as a present story. Now, this could all change if someone was telling this story to someone and you made sure that this was shown as a narration, but that would be more work to do instead of just changing it to a present tense work.
  18. Oh, I suppose that makes sense why it's green. Sort of got my hopes up wanting a purple scheme so my eyes wouldn't tire out so much. But I can see the different reasons why it wouldn't be added. For the time being, I guess I'll try to sift through the Non-Pony Artwork to see what's all there. And a quick question if you don't mind answering: just why exactly is it called Artwork when it's apparent there's other things there, such as fan fiction and let's play are there, which I wouldn't consider Artwork?
  19. Huh. I didn't realize that it's been a problem for a while now. Well, at least I know it might be fixed someday in the future. I'd like to be able to have ease when going through that area since it's a pain trying to look at one particular section while being clogged with things I don't want to see. Also, green background? I did not realize that background colors can be changed! Did I miss something about how to do that? I would LOVE to have my background in purple. It would make seeing things simpler for me depending on the color since bright white all the time tires my eyes out seeing all the time.
  20. I'm not sure if everyone else on this site has been having this problem. Whenever I go to the Non-Pony Artwork area, I can't click the individual links below the title (first picture). Whenever I do, the link leads me to an area with nothing in it at all, as if I'm trying to search something (second picture). I'm really confused here. This is really strange for me. While I can click the Non-Pony Artwork link and look through that, I'd prefer being able to click the bottom links to filter exactly what I'd like to see, such as art or fan fiction for example. Is anyone else having this problem?
  21. Okay, I'm looking over the document. Is this challenge for a competition that you're entering, or is it to challenge your own writing skills? Okay, I commented on everything that I saw the first time around. I'd recommend changing them and then reading it over yourself to see how that works. Also, I'd also recommend adding in some additional things, like maybe having their trek through the Everfree to Zecora's hut written out. This would help the overall story so it's more entertaining. Maybe even adding the three go off trying something new in another attempt at a cutie mark. Finally, why are they at Zecora's in the first place? While not needed, by adding in some more detail in the beginning of your story as to why they're in the forest in the first place (most likely an attempt to get a cutie mark as usual) would help this story out.
  22. References should only be used offhandedly or in ways that won't tie in majorly to things like other stories, unless you're trying to write a spin-off. I know a lot of people write spin-offs from FO:E (Fallout:Equestria) and they're a mixed bunch. You have to think about who you're targeting to reading your stuff. By doing that, you're immediately targeting anyone to that story, this one being "Rainbow Factory." That means you'll get the readers that liked it, and readers that don't. Personally, I don't care much for that story. It felt like Cupcakes to me, which is a horrible story that didn't make sense and was only written to be "dark and edgy." For my own writing in my main story, I've made references to Doctor Who, The Elder Scrolls, The Happy Mask Salesman, Goosebumps, X-Men, Batman, Mayan History, and plenty of other things. They aren't central to the story though, they only add in some interesting bits for some fun, never actually tying the story to anything. If you were to ever put references in, try not to tie them too closely into your writing unless it's some sort of gag or you're actually writing a spin-off to said story.
  23. Ah, I've seen that happen plenty of times. Writers want to have their ideas out as soon as possible, wanting to make scenes move quickly like it does in their heads or just want their writing shown. Just remember to slow down a little and remember to show, not tell, along with putting proper pacing in your work. So long as you can do that, you'll have a good story on your hands in the future.
  24. What I got out of this so far is that you have a pony that is in a place that is treating him for something unknown. With how Golden is also reacting, I'm going to say that the pony is also either very young, or is mentally young. Right now, I do not know the gender or how Golden Dreams looks other than he's orange, but your basic details of describing the pony as a pegasus and everything else is pretty entertaining. It gives the reader some room to actually imagine things in their own mind. You also have Golden somewhat attracted to Brande, or at least finding him attractive. Now, I wish you would space out your work. It would make reading this so much simpler. I'll point some things out, your stuff in purple and mine in red. Feeling. Where did this come from? What is this? Sense. How is this happening? Intelligence. Who am I? What am I doing here? Where did I come from? What is my purpose? Light. What am I seeing? I open my eyes. A thick liquid surrounds me, but it does not hurt me. There is no need for breathing or nutrition yet. How do I know that? A feel like I just woke up. I feel...like a can move. I blink, although there is no need. Blurry figures appear within my vision. My ears twitch. My mouth gains feeling, which spreads down my neck and reached my spinal column. I gain consciousness of my body. A feel like a normal pony, but what are these things on my back. I try to move, but a strange cord attached to my forehead won't let me. I feel pain for the first time, but vaguely. The cord releases and disappears. Where'd it go? The blurry figures come into view. They are unicorns wearing white coats and scribbling profusely on clipboards. How do I know this? I am not sure. I feel movement. I start to sink and I panic. I can move! I stare in wonder at my bright orange hooves, ignoring the strange descent that I have begun. I reach a strange point and I am flushed out. I land square on my face. My muscles are new to all this. They have no strength yet. I feel something on my face. A blue hoof tilts my head upwards and examines my face. I take my first breath. It feels great, but different. Who am I? The owner of the hoof magically pushes a cushion under my head and sets it down. The pillow is soft and comforting. I smile at the promises it makes as I snuggle into it a bit. The blue unicorn records something and then looks down at me almost... as if he pities me. He crouches lower. I think the first paragraph could be split up into another paragraph, and certain areas split out entirely to emphasize confusion and thoughts. Here's an example of what I mean. Feeling. Where did this come from? What is this? Sense. How is this happening? Intelligence. What am I doing here? Where did I come from? What is my purpose? Light. What am I seeing? I open my eyes. A thick liquid surrounds me, but it does not hurt me. There is no need for breathing or nutrition yet. How do I know that? A feel like I just woke up. I feel...like a can move. I blink, although there is no need. Blurry figures appear within my vision. My ears twitch. My mouth gains feeling, which spreads down my neck and reached my spinal column. I gain consciousness of my body. A feel like a normal pony, but what are these things on my back. I try to move, but a strange cord attached to my forehead won't let me. I feel pain for the first time, but vaguely. The cord releases and disappears. Where'd it go? The blurry figures come into view. They are unicorns wearing white coats and scribbling profusely on clipboards. How do I know this? I am not sure. I feel movement. I start to sink and I panic. I can move! I stare in wonder at my bright orange hooves, ignoring the strange descent that I have begun. I reach a strange point and I am flushed out. I land square on my face. My muscles are new to all this. They have no strength yet. I feel something on my face. A blue hoof tilts my head upwards and examines my face. I take my first breath. It feels great, but different. Who am I? The owner of the hoof magically pushes a cushion under my head and sets it down. The pillow is soft and comforting. I smile at the promises it makes as I snuggle into it a bit. The blue unicorn records something and then looks down at me almost... as if he pities me. He crouches lower. I also italicized certain words. italicizing usually implies thoughts of a character, so this really brings them out. I also deleted the first time you use the 'who am I?' in the beginning. It makes the second one down at the bottom a stronger presence and helps make the first parts at the top stronger. Now, there are a few things that should be looked at for rewriting in this paragraph. Here's an example - A feel like I just woke up. This line doesn't make any sense at all. Are you trying to describe Golden feeling the feel of waking up, or are you trying to describe it like it's the first time the pony's ever waken up? There's also the problem that you use the 'I feel like' too many times. You should rewrite that in a way so it's still saying that but with different word. Here's how I would've rewritten it - I feel like I've just woken up... like I can move. As you see, I've taken the second line and combined it with the first. It makes the line simpler and easier to follow while also removing the 'I feel like' in the second one, and also removing the 'a' on the can move to an 'I'. A feel like a normal pony, but what are these things on my back. You do it again here. Are you attempting to make this character southern? Even if you are, having him think like that is a bit strange to read. Even if people have accents, they still think with the word fully fleshed out in their minds. You also missed a question mark. I feel like a normal pony, but what are these things on my back? There's some other things like this in your work, but they're easy to fix. I don't really have any complaints as of yet on how you've written your story other than how it's structured and a few missed areas on grammar and punctuation. Here's a recap of everything with me reworking some more things in my work down below. Your work - Feeling. Where did this come from? What is this? Sense. How is this happening? Intelligence. Who am I? What am I doing here? Where did I come from? What is my purpose? Light. What am I seeing? I open my eyes. A thick liquid surrounds me, but it does not hurt me. There is no need for breathing or nutrition yet. How do I know that? A feel like I just woke up. I feel...like a can move. I blink, although there is no need. Blurry figures appear within my vision. My ears twitch. My mouth gains feeling, which spreads down my neck and reached my spinal column. I gain consciousness of my body. A feel like a normal pony, but what are these things on my back. I try to move, but a strange cord attached to my forehead won't let me. I feel pain for the first time, but vaguely. The cord releases and disappears. Where'd it go? The blurry figures come into view. They are unicorns wearing white coats and scribbling profusely on clipboards. How do I know this? I am not sure. I feel movement. I start to sink and I panic. I can move! I stare in wonder at my bright orange hooves, ignoring the strange descent that I have begun. I reach a strange point and I am flushed out. I land square on my face. My muscles are new to all this. They have no strength yet. I feel something on my face. A blue hoof tilts my head upwards and examines my face. I take my first breath. It feels great, but different. Who am I? The owner of the hoof magically pushes a cushion under my head and sets it down. The pillow is soft and comforting. I smile at the promises it makes as I snuggle into it a bit. The blue unicorn records something and then looks down at me almost... as if he pities me. He crouches lower. Mine - Feeling. Where did this come from? What is this? Sense. How is this happening? Intelligence. What am I doing here? Where did I come from? What is my purpose? Light. What am I seeing? I open my eyes. A thick liquid surrounds me, but it does not hurt me. There is no need for breathing or nutrition yet. How do I know that? I feel like I just woke up... like I can move. I blink, although there is no need. Blurry figures appear within my vision. My ears twitch. My mouth gains feeling, which spreads down my neck and reaches my spinal column. I gain consciousness of my body. I feel like a normal pony, but what are these things on my back? I try to move, but a strange cord attached to my forehead won't let me. I feel pain for the first time, but vaguely. The cord releases and disappears. Where'd it go? The blurry figures come into view. They are unicorns wearing white coats and scribbling profusely on clipboards. How do I know this? I am not sure. I feel movement. I start to sink and I panic. I can move! I stare in wonder at my bright orange hooves, ignoring the descent that I have begun. I reach a strange point and I am flushed out, landing square on my face. My muscles are new to all this. They have no strength in them. I feel something on my face. A blue hoof tilts my head upwards and examines my face. I take my first breath. It feels great, but different. Who am I? The owner of the hoof magically pushes a cushion under my head and sets me down on it. The pillow is soft and comforting. I smile at the promises it makes as I snuggle into it a bit. The blue unicorn records something and then looks down at me almost... as if he pities me. He crouches low enough so I can see his entire face without any problem. Like I said, there's some things that need rewording and some extra work, but I don't see anything horridly wrong in this. I really hope you put those extra spaces in between areas later on so it's easier to read.
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