Good to know. I just changed the process' affinity to only use one core. Enabling V-Sync helped too, though I'm not sure why. All settings are now back to maximum and everything looks nominal. The only catch is I can't enable anti-aliasing. I think I'm good to go.
Well, I guess I can enable a minimal amount of anti-aliasing after all. Wunderbar.
I'm of German ancestry and have a distinctly German last name, so I guess I should feel bad if I play as anybody else. Guess I'll have to work hard to redeem myself in RO2.