Creamy Arty

You sound like some little kid who's used to being picked on when he's standing behind his big brother as he stares down the bullies. The Carolinas got wrecked. Possibly. I live in central Virginia and we were spared the hurricane, but yesterday as it was dying it caused severe storms and a few tornados to spawn up here. One person was killed downtown when a tornado dropped his roof and another drowned farther north due to flooding when his car was trapped in a sinkhole. Florence was a bitch. The hurricane itself stayed firmly over the Carolinas but greatly distorted the weather around it as it fizzled. You might be experiencing leftovers there, but a few days ago I heard something about a belt of storms around the world comparable to Florence. And check this out:

Hour-by-hour prediction from Accuweather.

Latest information that I could find. Current models predict that the hurricane will glance the lower coast of Virginia and miss the rest of the state. Both Carolinas are still in extreme danger. My fellow Virginians should not take much solace in this. Florence predictions have changed drastically for better and for worse over the past few days. We won't know what's really going to happen until it comes to pass. Be prepared for a catastrophe, even if the current predictions show that you're going to be safe.

446336 It was somebody new.

446334 It was just some generic troll, but he's gone now and his mess has been cleaned up. Carry on

Not at all in my opinion, although I've been told by plenty of people that I am. I don't hate myself or anything like that, I simply can't see certain qualities in myself like others can.

The dog days are not over. https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/dangerous-category-4-hurricane-florence-likely-to-stall-and-pound-carolinas-virginia-for-days/70006011 As most of you may know, what began as a tropical storm and is now a category 4 hurricane is making its way towards the US east coast. Areas affected are the Carolinas, Maryland, and Virginia. I'm in Richmond, Virginia, located in the dark orange band of the above image. We aren't supposed to get the worst of it, but from what I've heard it's going to suck. Last I knew, Florence is supposed to reach us sometime Thursday. I hope all of you in the affected areas are prepared or evacuated.

The way I typically describe it to people is to imagine yourself with a friend at a restaurant or a bar, having a conversation. You might mishear a few words and you might have to shout at each other over the background noise of music and dishes and other people talking and laughing, but you can still do it. Best analogy I can come up with to my emotional state. I can be somewhere with somebody, anybody, and I can be having a genuinely good time with them, but the whole time we're together I've got a bunch of emotional background noise. A pinch of sadness, fear, self-loathing, and uncertainty all rolled together and trying to take over the situation. It's a bit maddening, especially since I know that there's no reason for me to feel those things. If I ever seemed a bit aloof or antisocial back in the day, this is why. Anxiety and depression are often bedfellows and I had both of them, and to an extreme extent that I managed to conceal pretty well for a long time. "Fake it 'til you make it." I'm sure you've heard that before. After 29 years of it though, it eventually bested me, and almost any time I wasn't at work I was a worrying, crying wreck. My girlfriend would come home some evenings and I'd just hug her and start crying. Crying over nothing most of the time, and sometimes over a bunch of trivial things that shouldn't have been anywhere near that unsettling. That's partially why I waited so long to get treated for it. I kept trying to find causes for the way I was feeling so I could address them, but there weren't any "causes," in a circumstantial sense. My brain is just broken that way. Amanda was very supportive throughout all of it and I'm indescribably grateful. You may also remember that I used to drink heavily. Were we ever together at any point during a convention when I didn't have a drink in my hand? Despite never developing an addiction, it was a form of "self-medication," which I didn't even recognize until I started taking this medication and got rid of the anxiety. Suddenly I didn't care so much about drinking anymore, although I still do it and enjoy it. It's just not a common thing for me anymore. Used to get stoned as fuck all the time too but that was more effective against my crippling depression than the anxiety. Don't need that so much either nowadays. Still do it for fun on occasion though, in great moderation.

@Summer Storm It's something I had been dealing with my whole life. For the most part I was able to keep it under control until recently, when it became overwhelming. There wasn't anything to face, really. My anxiety didn't stem from anything external or any insecurities I had, it was just there all the time. So I finally talked to a doctor about it and got put on medication for it. Sertraline, which is the generic form of Zoloft. Works great. Makes me feel like my normal self, minus the horrible emotional background noise.