Evilshy

At least my MAC address doesn't actually refer to a Mac.

@ You clearly have never heard of white magic. Noob. And might I add that your mother is so easy, her pants have only 10% uptime?

Tell me how well your dance skills help you when you encounter a group of nether shadows. God, you're stupider than my melee brute character in Fallout 2, and half of his conversation options are grunts.

Well, I love being evil in fictional settings, and I have a very clear dividing line between fiction and reality, so I can afford to be without ending up being a dick in real life. Like I said, evil is fun

I'd say somewhere between Chaotic Good and Chaotic Neutral. I generally do my own thing, but I am a pretty nice guy. I am pretty distrustful of authority, because it often seems to have an attitude of "I can run your life better than you can". I have some evil tendencies, such as only refraining from doing some bad things because I'll probably get caught, not because they're "bad" (morality is subjective), and not having much sympathy for pretty much anyone except my closest friends and family. I've stolen from people I didn't like because I knew I could get away with it. I sometimes plan crimes and how I would get away with them for fun, but never actually carry them out, because I have no reason to, say, kill somebody and hide a body. I just like knowing that I have a plan if I ever did have to. I took the test, and it said Chaotic Neutral. When roleplaying, I generally play Neutral Evil or Chaotic Good. Evil is just so much more fun, but sometimes the circumstances require me to be good, and I do play as other alignments as well.

You can all go to hell. This is an automatically generated message, by the way. Bitch.

Oh, I know. All these things have happened to me ('cept the cat pissing on my clothes and running out of gas) multiple times in the past, and I'm used to dealing with them. It's just, they all happened on the same day

No, but I do know the place you're talking about, it's about 20 minutes from my house. I can get you 20% off if you want to try it and you're with me. Employee discounts and whatnot I work at the one by the Fred Meyer in Grand Central Plaza, right off the 14.

Lol, it's all good, KKR. Like I said, it wasn't the worst day I've had, it just has nothing out of the ordinary that was good; everything that day was either normal, or bad, making it a very bad day Of course looking back, it's kinda funny. I transferred a little extra money from savings so my checking won't be overdrawn, and even if I do get chewed out, my boss knows I was sick yesterday so I doubt she'll be too angry. She says I'm really great at my job, I just lack a "sense of urgency" a lot of the time :/ And thanks Prodigy. Sympathy is always nice even if I don't need it

I'm sure you've all heard the term "perfect storm"? As in, when circumstances are such that an event or action or something becomes magnified far beyond what it normally be? It sometimes literally refers to a storm, one much more powerful than normal, due to weather conditions lining up perfectly to create a massive storm. Well today, I experienced a near perfect shitstorm. I'm not saying it was the worst day ever, merely that almost everything that happened today was bad, and almost everything I did resulted in something that was at least partially had. It started out at 2am, when I woke up with stomach pain. I have recently gotten over the flu, and I was worried that it had come back and I was going to miss more days of work. However, in between sessions of hunching over in pain and hunching over vomitting, I remembered that all I had eaten the previous day was a shitload of greasy fried chicken, a shitload of mountain dew, and a shitload of cheez-its, so the vomitting wasn't all that unexpected. This seemed to be a good thing, because it meant that I wasn't sick again, my body merely had something to say about my diet, and if I got back to bed immediately, I could have a fairly normal day at work today. Of course, this didn't happen. It is incrediably hard for me to sleep on an empty stomach, but after all that vomitting, my stomach was weak and wouldn't be able to handle a decent amount of food without feeling sick again. I ate a bagel and slept very poorly for an hour or two before waking up and being unable to fall back asleep. At around breakfast time, I discovered I had that thrice damned curse, where one is so hungry one finds it difficult to eat. So I had half a bowl of cheerios for breakfast, because even though I was starving, that's all I could bring myself to eat. Half asleep and low on energy, I drove the ~45 minutes to work. When I got there, my boss pointed out that I wasn't wearing non-slip shoes (a requirement), and that I had to go home and get them. I did so, and was effectively an hour and a half late. The whole day at work (I work at Panda Express), I was feeling sick, due to the lack of food and sleep. This would've been fine if it had been a normal wednesday, which are usually pretty slow, and if I had been scheduled for my normal shift, which is usually only 6-8 hours. But no, I was working open to close, which is 11 hours. Also, it was the busiest I have seen the store in months. We had the normal lunch rush, a second lunch rush, an abnormally large amount of customers during the lull between lunch and dinner, a dinner rush, and then an hour long right-before-closing-so-you-don't-have-any-time-to-actually-close-the-goddamn-store rush. So instead of starting to clean the kitchen at 7 and then eventually getting everything done by 10 and leaving, I had to cook at a breakneck speed until about 8:30. Correction: I tried to cook at a breakneck speed. I was tired and hungry and sick, I could barely keep up with all the orders, and my co-workers wasted no time in letting me know it. 'Cept Nic, he's cool. So now on top of having to close while sick and tired, I had a good hour and a half less time to do it in. I could go through all the bullshit that happened, but I'll just give you the highlight: this middle aged Asian lady was closing the dining room and serving area, and she had the keys to lock up. Now, not only is closing the front a lot less work than closing the kitchen (what I was doing), she was not at all sick and could do it at regular speed. So she's bitching this entire time about how I'm not going fast enough and how she doesn't want to stay and wait for me to finish so she could lock the doors. Not once did she offer to help. But the real bitchiness happened when I went to take the trash out to the dumpster and came back to find the doors already locked. I could see her inside, washing a counter, and I knocked. She ignored me. I knocked again, thinking she hadn't heard me. She continued to ignore me. I knocked a third time, harder. This time she looks up at me and gives me a dismissive wave. I am dumbfounded. Is she... refusing to let me back into the store or something? Apparently she was, because she continued to do her work for about 10 minutes before letting me in. And of course, she continued to bitch about me not being done yet. I mentioned that I could've been done by now if she had actually opened the fucking door when I knocked, but she just ignored that and said she was done waiting and was going to leave. Now, as I said before, she had the keys, so I had to leave when she left. And I hadn't finished my closing work yet, so now I'll likely get chewed out a ton by my boss and other coworkers about how I didn't close correctly. Whatever. Anyway, we clocked out, left the store, and I shambled to my car. Not walked, I was too tired and in pain (I was born with twisted femurs. It puts a lot of stress on my knees when I stand or walk for long periods of time) to do that. I shambled to my car, pleased that, at the very least, I'd get to listen to Coast to Coast AM on the way home (it's a radio show about the supernatural, aliens, conspiracies, that kind of stuff. While sometimes pretty bogus, it's very interesting). But nope. Instead of Coast to Coast, the station it's usually on is a few guys talking about basketball. Fuck that. I scanned the other radio stations and couldn't find anything else interesting, and ended up driving home in silence. Although it wasn't completely silent, because I glanced at my fuel meter and, can you believe it; I was almost out of gas in the middle of the night in a shady-as-hell part of town. I stopped at the closest gas station, got out, swiped my card, and was told it had been declined. I swiped again. Declined. Confused, I checked my email to see if Chase Bank had sent me anything about my bank account. Oh hey, it's just Netflix overdrawing my checking account for the 2nd time in the last 5 months >_< So I'm at a gas station with no gas and no way to buy any. I sat there and waited until an oldish guy pulled in and started filling up his tank. I politely asked him if I could pay him $10 cash for him to run me $10 of gas on his card, and he said yes, which is basically the only good thing to happen to me today. I got home and took a shower. When I got out and went to find some clothes, I found that the cat had pissed on my pile of clean clothes. I dug through them, trying to separate the clean from the pissy, and found that he had pissed all over my Rarity shirt (it's fucking on now, kitty. You better sleep with one eye open). I found some clean clothes and put them on. Now I'm lying in bed, typing this, and my shoulders hurt. Seriously. Fuck this day.

Let's do this, baby.

Throughout most of the house, you'd see a fairly normal but large house inhabited by a fairly normal man, his very weird wife, his two somewhat weird daughters, and me, his very weird son. You'd probably see our two cats. You'd see a lot of fairly normal things done in slightly weird ways, and a lot of weird things done in ways that are as normal as they can be done. Were you to go into my room, you'd be in a very small room with a bookshelf full of young adult and adult sci-fi and fantasy books. On top is are several very high quality digital paintings given to me by my host brother from my brief time as an exchange student in Japan, a few LEGO creations, and a glass skull with a hollow in the top that I use to drink out of when feeling macabre. Next to it is a wine glass I drink out of when feeling fancy. You'd see a few adventure board/card games stacked in a corner. An unused guitar in its case, being used as a rack for expensive ties. A stack of DVDs that I haven't moved yet after rearranging my room a few days ago. On another wall, my dresser, filled with clothes. On top of it, more LEGO creations, and an old clock radio I'm going to take apart and possibly rebuild at some point. Against a third wall is my bed. On the actual wall are some posters: one of Ichigo and Renji (Bleach) in their bankai states, one of Kratos (God of War) looking badass, the Return to Ravnica Pre-release poster (Magic: The Gathering), and the Commanders Arsenal poster (also Magic). Also, a drawing of Fluttershy given to me by a girl at college. These posters are inaccurate as a gauge of my likes. Sure, I like Bleach and God of War, but they aren't favorites of mine by any means. All my posters I either got for free, or they came in something I bought and I decided I needed something on my wall. We come to the final wall, which is taken up by my desk. It's various cupboards and compartments are filled with games and Magic cards. The main desk part is occupied by more Magic cards, several pony toys, a ninja Mickey the Mouse, and a Mr. T action figure from the 80s. Oh, and also my computer, PS2, and second monitor (used to have a third, but there isn't enough room, and it sucked anyway). There are also 2 ancient computer towers that I sometimes hook up to the monitor to play old games that don't work on Windows 7 no matter what combination of compatibility modes and other settings I use. However, thanks to gog.com and other such sites, most old games I play (Fallout 2, Alpha Centauri, Arcanum, and Mechwarrior mostly) can work on Windows 7 In this room, you'd mostly see me playing games, coding, reading random sciencey stuff on the internet (mostly wikipedia), watching Netflix and DVDs, building/testing Magic decks, and almost any combination of those things. I also talk to myself a lot, sing every now and then, and swear a lot at games. Also, you'd occasionally see some pretty kinky shit that would either arouse you or disturb you. There is no middle ground with this kind of thing Also also, you might get killed by one of the spiders living in my room. Or at least, I think they're living here. I see them skitter about from time to time and never kill them unless a girl is in my room and she is scared of spiders. Don't get me wrong, I love spiders, but women take precedence.

When in the Magic timeline is this taking place? It'd have to be at least somewhat recent, since we'd need to be using Neowalkers. Old Walkers are way too powerful to have a good RP with. What ancient evil are we fighting? Nicol Bolas is kinda lame and the Phyrexians have been toned down by a lot by the whole "getting their asses handed to them by Urza and his bros and having to come back and take over Mirrodin" thing. Also, I've had some ideas for running an MTG RP that incorporated some aspects of the game into it. Might you be interested?

Just want to let everybody know that I have not forgotten about my singing obligations. Circumstances and lack of microphone have made me put it off in favor of other things, but it's still on my to-do list.