Trying to make some more headway on the second chapter of "Batmare Begins,"; you don't think the "Are we there yet?" bit, if its done right, is too corny do you? Trying to make it work at the beginning of the chapter.
Nope, I think it would work just fine. Seems pretty in character for Derpy anyway, and it's so contrasted with anything in Batman Begins that it actually sounds really funny. If it feels good to you, I say go for it