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Ron Jeremy

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Blog Entries posted by Ron Jeremy

  1. Ron Jeremy
    So, I bought Epic Yarn through Ebay what seems like a long time ago, but recently, it got tied up in the post office. Long story short, I have it now, which is good, since that was the whole point of buying it. And now for an unrelated wall of text that I wrote last night and decided "Instead of posting it to my blog, I'll wait until I can combine it with the Epic Yarn entry". So I did. So, here it is.
     
    Video games are capable of being an amazing thing. Unlike other forms of art, the user actually directly interacts with them. While paintings may be beautiful, while music may be beautiful, video games are capable of transcending that, since they can have visual art, music, and immersion. A perfect example of this would be a game like Trine, which takes all three and merges them into one experience that pulls the observer in.
     
    Art, to me, has more substance if one can interact with it. A picture of a flower is nice. A game where you can interact with that flower, watch the wind blow through it, can be better. It adds a whole new dimension to it. It is not just a still image. It is a thing. Not a real thing, sure, but still a thing in a sense.
     
    Many games hold a high level of artistic value in my opinion, though, just like there are "bad" pieces of art from other mediums, there are bad video games, that lack what people call soul. Do I even need to list these? Generic military shooters, etc. etc.
     
    The problem is that many people let these things tear down the entire medium. People can't see past the Call of War of whatever MCXVIIs to see the Braids and the Bastions and the Cave Storys.
     
    Sadly, this will always be the case for the most part. These days, most of the so-called "AAA" companies just want to pump out another "soulless" hot seller. In the earlier days, there were more artistic games available "mainstream", such as on consoles. Titles such as Donkey Kong Country and The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past are examples of this. I'm can't say this for certain, but I believe, and no, this is not so-called "nostalgia goggles", that back then, developers were allowed more creative liberty when the industry was as young as it was. They weren't always expected to pump out a generic "guaranteed hot seller". They were allowed to do as they wished to an extent, and as such, there was a different level of dedication to certain aspects such as the visuals. Now, for the most part, you really only see such things in indie games.
     
    I believe that there are two large culprits here: Advancements in graphical technology, and the massive increase in popularity of gaming. As 3D graphics have become the norm, they seem to be used as a quick-fix for blandness. Sure, there can be nearly-photorealistic trees and such, but they lack that so-called soul. As video games have become more popular, many people are satisfied with mediocrity, so instead of making the game visually interesting, they just make it look more "realistic", to attempt to cover the lack of creativity. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is an example of this. Sure, it has some great scenery, but tell me when playing through it you never thought "This is really bland".
     
    I think for the most part, games shouldn't aim for realism. What is more important is the visual style. Example: Kirby's Dream Land 3 is more pleasing to look at than Gears of War. Sure, the sepiatone glossy musclemen are more "advanced", but they are boring. The colorful landscapes of Kirby's Dream Land 3 are much more pleasing to the eye.
     
    Instead of aiming for realism, developers should be using the advancements in graphical technology to make the visual styles more complex. Why have a generic grizzled army man we've seen a thousand times, when you could have a brilliant, painted-look first-person puzzle-type game? The latter would have far more merit.
     
    With that, I conclude this little wall of text. I would appreciate hearing opinions, and I'm especially interested in hearing what those who are more on the military-shooter side of things have to say.
  2. Ron Jeremy
    So, recently, a person I know has gotten started on Steam, but the problem is, they've only got a single game. I want to be nice and change that. I know people frequently end up with spare keys from indie bundles like the Humble Indie Bundle, because, well, they already have one or two of the games that come on them. So, I'm willing to trade stuff I have for any spare keys (except for Nightsky). That stuff can be various TF2 items like Refined and hats, Steam trading cards, and other stuff I might have laying around my inventory. If you've got a spare key gathering dust, I'll trade stuff for it.
     
    Edit to clarify because I forgot to: Looking more for low-system-requirement indie games. Cave Story+ for example.
  3. Ron Jeremy

    SO LIK UM UH

    By Ron Jeremy,

    I GOT BANED FROM POSTIN STATSU UPDAT STUF N STUF LIK TAHT U NO WAT I MENE
     
    BUT ANWYAS U NO WAT IS ANOYIN IS WEN PPL SPAM DA WORD LOL ON DA STATIS UPDATS B/C I TINK ITS RELLY DUM ANY1 HO WUD DO DAT IS A DUMAS LIK CHANSAW BUFANT HES A DUMAS B/C HE SPAMED LOL N SIHT BUT I WUD NEVR DO IT I MENE U NO WATS DA FUNEY TIHNG ABOTU SPAMIN LOL IT JUTS ANOYS PPL N STUF LIK TAHT U NO WAT I MENE N STUF LIK TAHT U NO LOL I MENE CAN U IMAGIN IF HE MAD A BOLG ENTYR SAYIN HE HATDE IT TAHT WUD BE RELLY DUMM LOL N STUF LIK TAHT U NO WAT I MENE
  5. Ron Jeremy
    So, I recently expanded my gaming collection again, since I had the money. Watch as I egotistically brag about the ill-advised purchases.
     
    Mega Man X7: I've been on a Mega Man binge lately, and I got the chance to get X7, so I went ahead. I know it's known as a bad game, but I'm willing to give it a shot.
     
    Mega Man X8: Kind of the same with X7, but I haven't heard much bad about it. I'd also like to be able to have played all the Mega Man X games to date if/when Mega Man X9 comes out. In a so-so condition Hollywood Video case.
     
    Mega Man 8: It's in pretty bad condition, but it was only two dollars. Case is beat up, missing the manual, but I didn't have a copy of it so why not?
     
    Donkey Konga: It was cheap, and I got the bongos controller from a garage sale years ago for dirt cheap, with the only damage being minor mouse damage on the cord. Figured since it was a few bucks I might as well get the game so I can actually use the bongos controller.
     
    Not in the picture: Basketball for the Atari 2600. Was at a thrift store. Was cheap. Why not?
     
    Also, not in the picture: Jak X: Combat Racing. Because cheap.
  6. Ron Jeremy
    I WANT 2 NO B/C I WANT DA BEST POWR FOR GAMIN TAHTS Y I PALY CONSOLS
     
    SO I WUS DOIN MATH ERLIRE N I RELIZD TAHT IF DA NES WUS 8 BIT N DA SNES N GENSIS WERE 16 BIT N DA PS1 WAS 32 BIT DA N64 64 BIT TEHN DA PS2 N PS3 N DA FIRTS XBOX WUS 128 BIT TEHN TEHR WUS DA XBOX 360 DAT WUS 360 BIT N IF DA BITS DOBUL N STUF DUS TAHT MENE DA XBOX ONE IS 720 BIT BUT Y IS IT CALED DA XBOX ONE DUSNT TAHT MENE ITS ONE BIT OR DID XBOX INVENT A SPECAL BIT DATS LIK 720 OF DA NORML BITS
  7. Ron Jeremy
    So, I've finally been getting around to playing my unplayed games on Steam, and I realized I still had Half-Life 2: Episode Three, unplayed. I assumed it came from the Half-Life Complete pack I bought a while back and I just forgot about it.
     
    So, I played through the game, and the gameplay felt awkward. I'll give credit where credit is due and say that the gravity and dimension-jumping puzzles were impressive, but the time travel puzzles, especially the ones involving Chell and the portal gun were just too complicated to be enjoyable.
     
    And don't get me started on the story. For the first quarter of the game, it just progresses like you'd expect after the end of Episode Two. After the first quarter, there's this big war and it turns out that Gordon was never even human to begin with, and that's the reason he can't speak. Talk about jumping the shark.
     
    What was the icing on the cake, however, was the ending.
     
     
     
     
    So, was I the only one disappointed by Episode Three? I can't find any reviews or anything online, so I'm guessing it just fell into obscurity.
  8. Ron Jeremy
    PPL SAY MALE STORY IS A RELLY SHITY GAME N STUF BUT ITS NOT TRUE B/C ITS GUD N I LIK IT TEHR JUTS JELUS OF MY LVL 200 LUKLES SIN ITS A GUD PLATFORMER UNLIK DAT MEGA MAN SIHT I MENE NSTED OF JUMPIN N SHOTIN N STUF U SHUD JUST BE PRESIN DA ATAK KEY TO WATHC NUMBRS GO UP DATS WAT RELE GAMIN IS PLUS IT HAS A RELLY COL COMUNITY NONE OF DOSE FUKEN NERDS ITS ALL GUD PPL HO ARENT GRAMER NERDS N SIHT LIK TAHT U NO WAT I MENE
  10. Ron Jeremy
    Steam Trading Cards coming out of beta recently made me realize something.
     
    Steam is becoming a game in itself.
     
    In September of 2011, Steam Trading went live to all users. It's a feature that allows users to trade items between each other, from in-game items, to Steam items such as coupons and unredeemed games.
     
    June 2013, the Steam Trading Cards and profile update goes live for all users. This adds profile levels, crafting of badges and collecting of trading cards and achievement showcases/other showcases.
     
    The trading cards are obtained from playing eligible games. You craft the cards to increase your level to reap the rewards, then go on to get the next set of cards to craft the next badge. Purchasing games also increases your experience points. The cards can be sold to other players for Steam Wallet money which can then be spent to purchase more games.
     
    You could say that Steam has become some kind of meta game in itself, and that the eligible games could be seen as minigames played to power-up your player profile in the main game that is Steam.
     
    So, Steam seems to be blurring the line between digital distribution platform and game in itself. I'm curious to see if this is Valve's intention, and if they go further with it. If I had to predict anything, I'd say the obvious direction they would go with it would be releasing a series of "lesser" games in which your Steam Profile's level determines stats in the game. It seems obvious Valve would do something like that because not only would they be making money from purchases/microtransactions in the game, but they would also profit from people purchasing Steam Trading Cards and eligible games to improve their characters in the integrated games. It would reward the rich and leave the poor to be underpowered, but Valve is a corporation, and corporations are after one thing. Money.
  11. Ron Jeremy
    ...-Kazooie.
     
    Banjo-Kazooie is one of those games you don't forget. Its legacy is undeniable. It and its sequel are, in my opinion, the greatest games on the Nintendo 64. That's right, I said it.
     
    Banjo-Kazooie and its sequel just have a certain something that few games on the platform have. It's hard to pinpoint the specific thing that makes the games so excellent. Is it the tight-for-the-N64 controls? The depth to the games? The great music? The excellent-for-the-time graphics? Sense of humor? Excellent gameplay? Atmosphere? I believe it's all of these things combined that makes the games so great. Think about it. Every other real classic that could compete for the spot the Banjo-Kazooie games hold has a flaw or two or three or more that drag the experience down. Super Mario 64 has the camera that's out to kill you and can get extremely repetitive and Ocarina of Time is too cryptic in some parts. With the Banjo-Kazooie games, there are no flaws so huge that they drag the whole experience down. And I've played both games 100% so I'd say I know a thing or two about them. I challenge you to find a game that you can say the same thing about, excluding puzzle games like Tetris and stuff, because they're not exactly large-scale games. Not to say puzzle games are bad, just saying comparing them to large-scale 3D games wouldn't be fair because it would be like comparing apples to oranges.
     
    Banjo-Kazooie was my introduction to the system. I think I can safely say that it largely influenced my taste in games, since to this day I tend to prefer games with heavy elements of exploration and item collecting, and games such as Cave Story and Treasure Adventure Game capture my attention far more than FPSes or whatever.
     
    But I wouldn't say it's nostalgia goggles that make me hold the Banjo-Kazooie games in such high regard. If that were the case, I wouldn't be able to pick them up and enjoy them today, despite the fact technology has advanced so much since 1998. They're still fun to this day, where I honestly believe a good remake of Super Mario 64 would be in order if you wanted to play it today and fully enjoy it without needless annoyance.
     
    Sadly, the series is now in limbo, with Microsoft having acquired Rare and having them make Wii Sports ripoffs. But what we got are three great games in the Banjo-Kazooie series that are unique, presented excellently, and most importantly, fun.
     
    Yes, three. Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts was a game I actually thorougly enjoyed. Sure, it deviated from the formula. So? When another Mario Kart game, which is a vehicle-based game based on a largely-platforming series gets released, nobody complains. So why are people so offended by Banjo-Kazooie, a platforming series, getting a vehicle-based game? Sure, it has its problems, but a lot of the Banjo-Kazooie spirit is there, albeit in another form. The characters are there, the collecting is there, the wit is there, the music is there, the visual presentation is there. If you accept it for what it is, it's a really fun game. Sure, Banjo-Kazooie and Banjo-Tooie are better than it, but look at what it had to compete with. It's the latest in a series of excellent games and came out years after the previous two. The expectations and pressure was high. You can't really blame them for trying something new, and the fact what we got was good is a miracle enough, expecting it to actually SURPASS the games would be insane.
     
    I admit, I would do anything for a true successor. Banjo-Threeie, as hinted by Gruntilda in the ending sequence of Banjo-Tooie. A modern-day Banjo-Kazooie game, with the old gameplay elements there, but improved upon. With the benefit of modern-day controllers with their more accurate control sticks. Graphics that look excellent and take advantage of the power of today's machines to be more detailed, but still in the Banjo-Kazooie style. Grant Kirkhope doing the music. Heck, maybe throw in co-op and reasonable DLC such as more levels. I'd sell a kidney to play five minutes of that. I'd rip the thing out myself if I had to.
  12. Ron Jeremy
    WTF Y DO SUM NERDS SAY VIDEO GAMES AR ART TAHTS A LIE DEY ARENT B/C ART IS 4 DUMASES W/ DA FANCEY SNOB STUFF N STUF LIK TAHT U NO WAT I MENE SO Y DONT PPL STOP SAYIN VIDEO GAMES AR ART B/C TEHY ARENT ART IS 4 PPL HO WERE BERETS N USE APLE IPODS N SIT AROND RITIN PEOTRY N SIHT LIK TAHT U ITS RELLY DUM
     
    I DONT GET IT Y WUD VIDEO GEMS BE ART ISNT ART WEN U GO 2 SCOOL N DO FINGR PAINTIN N STUF LOL ARTITS R LITLE BABEYS LITLE WUSYS TAHTS RELLY FUNY
  14. Ron Jeremy
    It pisses me off. Sure, I've used it in the past, but that's only because if I called games with the playstyle something else, nobody would know what I'm talking about.
     
    I mean, it just sounds dumb, calling an entire subgenre the name of two games that fall into it mashed together. Should we start calling RPGs DragonFinals? Should we start calling FPSes WolfenDooms? Platformers MariOnics? It sounds silly. We should be able to identify a trait without calling it something that has that trait. That's like calling any piece of food a sandwich even if it isn't a sandwich just because some food happens to be a sandwich.
     
    It sounds like something a small child with little grasp on the English language would say. "Daddy can me pway da Metwoidvania?"
     
    Exploration-Platformer
     
    Was that so hard?
  15. Ron Jeremy
    Something that crossed my mind earlier is that a site that posts fake video game news and passes it off as real would be hilarious. I'm envisioning a site that would for the most part reliably post real news, but occasionally trolls people who don't bother checking facts for themselves, with articles like "Sega to re-enter console market, revive Sonic series to its golden age glory" and "Donkey Kong to be revealed as Mario's love interest in upcoming game".
     
    This would be funny because of how successful it would be. People spread false video game rumors all the time (Mew's totally under that truck, guys!) and if you had it on a legit-looking site, people would be forwarding it like crazy. Those who know not to believe everything they hear on the internet wouldn't be burned because a quick search would prove it false, but the social networking site kiddies who are frantic to tweet/facebook/tumblr/whatever everything big they see would fall for it. It would be chaos. Lulzy, lulzy chaos. And maybe they'd learn to think for themselves instead of mindlessly gobbling up the regurgitated mess big media spits into their mouths.
     
    Somebody with the money needs to do this.
  16. Ron Jeremy
    ⇚ When people do that. That being, enter their name as something stupid/an obscenity/AAAAAAAAA. Sure, I know high scores in the traditional sense are pretty much a thing of the past now, but I can still complain about it, right?
     
    I mean, with lots of console games, you can't even erase the scores, so that copy of Ms. Pac Man for the SNES will always have FUK on it until it eventually gets bumped off or the save battery inevitably dies. My brother would always get a kick out of putting up an obscene name so my parents would get mad when they saw it and take the game away. <_<
     
    Not as bad but still annoying is when games have room for more than just initials: The allcaps people, or people who will capitalize out of place, like SaMMy. It makes the score board on a classic game look like a stereotypical username on the internet and the internet didn't even exist back then.
     
    Silly rant, I know, but it annoys me.
  17. Ron Jeremy
    So, I've been thinking about it recently, and who ever talks about the Game Boy Color? I mean, sure, the two Pokémon trilogies of the time ran on it, but when do non-Pokémon Game Boy Color games ever get brought up? Whenever I see talk about Nintendo handhelds, it's about the original Game Boy, the Game Boy Advance, and the DSes. What is it about the Game Boy Color that makes people never bring it up? It has its fair share of memorable games that aren't Pokémon. The Zelda "Oracle of" games and Wario Land 3 to name a few. But whenever somebody says "Game Boy Color", the subject is Pokémon. Add Game Boy-compatible games with Game Boy Color enhancements, and the list only grows.
     
    So, what's up? Where's the Game Boy Color love? At least it's not forgotten as much as the Game Boy Micro. Which makes me realize I really wish I had a Game Boy Micro, because who the heck has one?
  18. Ron Jeremy
    I MENE DA XBONE (LOL IT SHUD BE CALED XBONER B/C PENISIS R MANLY LIK DA XBOX IS W/ ITS HALO OF DUTYWARS GAMES) IS BEIN COMPLANED ABOUT ON DA INTRNET B/C PPL TIHNK ITS 4 DUMASES N STUF B/C DEY R TAKIN DA RITES OF GAMERS WEL Y DA FUKK DO GAMRS NEDE RITES 2 DO DA STUF DA XBONXE ISNT LETIN US DO
     
    I MENE DA USDE GAME RESTRICTINS ONLY AFECT STUPD POR PPL HO SHUD AL BE SHOT B/C IF IR BUYIN USED GAMSE U WORSIHP SATANS B/C U SHUDNT HAV DA RITE 2 DO TAHT
     
    SAM W/ DA INTRNET STUF HO DUSNT HAV INTRNET DATS STIPUD N STUF IF U DONT HAV INTRNET U SHUD DIE N A FIRE LOL N DOSE HO DONT WANT DA KINCT MONITORIN DEM N SIHT PROBLY R PEDOS W/ LITLE GRILS N DERE HOUS N DEY DONT WANT PPL SEIN IT DATS DA ONLY RESIN U'D CARE ABOUT DA XBOX MONITIRN UR INTRNET N WATCIN U W/ CAMARA ROT IN HEL U PEDOS GO BAK TO PLAYIN UR WII ITS FUNEY B/C WII IS LIK WEEWEE U NO A WORD 4 PENIS USD BY SUM PPL 4 SUM RESIN
     
    N ITS FUNY IT WONT WORK IN SUM CONTRIS N PPL R COMPLANIN Y IS DAT IF UR IN SUM OBSCUR CONTRUY DAT IT WONT WROK IN ITS UR OWN FALT 4 NOT LIVIN IN A RELE CUOUNTY LIK AMARICA GOD BLES AMERICA THE BEST CONTRY BRB PLEDIGN ALEGANCE 2 FLAG AMRICAN PRIDE BICHES IF U BUY DA PS4 OR WII U HATE AMARICA Y DO U HATE AMERECA
  19. Ron Jeremy
    *Warning: I swear a lot.*
     
    Some time ago, The War Z was released. Many people preordered this game solely on hype, and were burned when it turned out the developers were a bunch of scumbag scam artists, outright stealing many peoples' money, releasing a broken mess of a game with conspicuously-functional "micro"transactions, and silencing people who spoke out about them. Valve took action and took the game off the Steam store until the developers made some changes. People were rightfully pissed and the game's infamy after the fact helped keep people from buying the game.
     
    And now, it's not only the Steam daily deal, but it's at the top spot on the "Top Sellers" tab.
     
    I mean, pardon my French, but this is, as The Nerd would put it, a shitload of fuck. Why are people buying this game? Why are people supporting these scam artists? For fuck's sake, they should be paying you to take the damn game, not charging for it! I get that infamous games see a lot of sales because of morbid curiosity (Look at Bad Rats: The Rats Revenge) but there's got to be a line. Even if people are buying it as gag gifts or out of morbid curiosity, the scumbags who made the game are getting money. The people who are buying this atrocity are supporting a group of individuals who have no problem lying to their customers, insulting their customers, scamming their customers, and giving a shitty product to their customers. And that's just wrong.
     
    I mean, if you want a zombie game, don't buy War Z. Instead, go buy Left 4 Dead 2. Sure, Valve aren't saints themselves, though they're certainly a hell of a lot better than Hammerpoint Interactive, the developers of War Z.
     
    People piss me off sometimes.
  20. Ron Jeremy
    IT RELLY PISES ME OF WEN SUM SIHTY VIDOE GAM TAHT ISNT A RELE GAM U NO AN FPS DECEDIS 2 HAV GUD MUSIC I MENE Y DONT TEHY PUT SIHTY MUSIC N TEHM B/C TEHR SIHTY FAKE VIDOE GAMES LOK AT YS (WTF IS AN YS IS IT SHORT 4 YOU SUK LOL) DA GAMES R FAK NOT EVN FIRST PERSON BUT TEHR MUSIC IS GUD I MENE ITS WATSED POTENTAL DAT
    SHUD BE ON A RELE GAME LIK HALOS OF WARDUTYGEARS NOT SUM GAME W/O GUNS N BOBOS 
    I SHUD MAK N FPS W/ BITHCINAS MUSIC DATD BE RELLY COL N STUF BUT TEHN ID BE 1 OF DOSE NERDS HO RITES DA ONES N ZORES N STUF WY IS IT 1 AND 0 TOHS R WUSY NUMBRS Y NOT BADAS THINS LIK KIL N SHOTGUN BEIN TEHR N PLAEC OF 1 AND ZORO N ALSO IF I MAD DA GAME MYSLEF IT WUDNT BE RELE B/C IM NOT A BIG FUKEN CORPRAT PIG OR SUM SHIT SO ITD BE A LAMAS INDY GAM
     
    IN FACT U NO WAT I RELLY HAT IS WHNO
     
    Alrighty, gonna interrupt this GAMESLAYR post to say something now that I've got your attention.
     
    One of the things that annoys me most on the internet is that crap that's been churned out in 5 minutes gets more attention than something somebody really put themselves into. Sites that are mental-junk food 5-minute reads (Cracked, toptenz, etc.) flourish, because many people don't want to pay attention to something that will take them more than 5 minutes to read. And I'm contributing to this problem, here, on the forums.
     
    I've been keeping an eye on blog entries, and I've noticed a trend that annoys me. Blog entries that are quickly-made comedy bits usually get a mountain of comments, views, etc. compared to ones that the writer put a bit of effort into. This is true everywhere on the internet, really. Doesn't change the fact it's a problem. People'd rather have a quick chuckle than read somebody's opinions.
     
    So, no more GAMESLAYR. Sure, they're funny, but after coming to this realization, I feel like shit thinking about how my silly little blog entries chronicling the ramblings of an amalgamation of every negative gamer and brony stereotype imaginable is taking away attention from the sincere blog entries of others.
  21. Ron Jeremy
    SO LIK UM UH Y DO PPL MAK INDI GAMS I DONT GET IT LIK TEHRE NOT EVEN FPSS A LOT OF DEM TEHR PLATFORMS N STUF Y MAK INFEROR PLATFORM GEMA WEN FPS GENER EXITSS SO YA INDE GAMES R RELLY BAD N DEY SUK I MENE LOK AT VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV ITS NAM IS JUST A BUNC OF FUKEN VS ITS RELLY DUM IT SHOUD BE NAMD HALO N HAV BADAS MANLY GUY ON COVR N BE SOLD AT STOR IF IT ISNT PUBLISHD BY BIG RELE COMPNY AND SOLD AT STOR ITS A FEAK GAM INDEI GAMES ARNT EVEN RELE I MENE LOK AT CAL OF DUTY DA BSET OF DA GAMS IS IT A INDEI GAM NO SO INDI GAM MAKRES NEDE 2 FKIN DIE N STUF LIK TAHT U NO WAT I MENE ANOYNE HO PLAS INDY GAMES IS A FKIN HIPSTR GO BE NORML N PLAY GAMS CRAPED OUT BY BIG CORPRATINS LIK A RELE GAMER NOW IM GONA GO PLAY A RELE GAME
  22. Ron Jeremy
    I RELLY HATE THIS B/C NOT BEIN ABL 2 HIDE BEHIN WAL 2 HELE MENES I HAV 2 MANAG RESORSES WICH IS RELLY DUMM I SHUD JUTS BE ABL TO RUN IN GUNS BLAZIN W/O THINKIN W/ NO REPERCUSINS B/C I CAN HID BEHNID WALL N HELE
     
    I MENE LOOK AT DAT GAM DOOM FROM A MILION YAERS AGO IT LOOKS LIK ITD BE BADAS B/C ITS GOT GUNS N DEMNOS N SIHT BUT U CANT AME UP N DOWN N DA HEALT IS SIHT U HAV 2 GRAB INSTED OF IT BEIN BEHID WAL STUF I TIHNK DEY SHUD RERELSE DA GAM W/ QUIKTIME EVENTS N HELIN BEHIND WALS N LOKIN UP N DWON ASLO ITS 2 COLRFUL U NO WAT IS COLORED CASAUL GAMS LIK PEGLE N TETRES SO MAK IT N SEPIATON BUT W/ RED 2 BE MOR RELISTIC N STUF LIK TAHT U NO WAT I MENE
  23. Ron Jeremy
    I RELLY HAT IT WEN MY FAV FUKEN WEPINS N A GAME R BEING CALED OP N STUF I MENE DOSE OP WEPONS LET ME WIN DA GAME N WEN PPL WIHN DA DEV PPL MITE TAKE TEHM OUT N DAT WUD MENE I CUDNT USE TEHM N WUD NEDE SKIL LIK 1 OF TEHM NERDS
     
    PRESONALY U NO WAT I TIHNK IS OP IS HAVIN AN OPONOIN DATS DIFRENT TEHN MINE DATS WAHT I TINK PPL SHUD JUTS HAV DA SAM OPINON AS ME OR SUMTIN OR ELS WEL I DUNO MABE ILL WIL WINE ABOUT TEHM N STUF LIK TAHT U NO WAHT I MENE
     
    IN GEMAS WAHT DEY SHUD DO IS MAK IT SO DAT AL CHARS AR OP LIK N DAT MAROI NES GAME GIV DA RED GUY DA ABILTY 2 FLY OVER DA STAG N KIL BOSWER W/ 1 HIT DATS MY OPINON B/C PLAYIN DA STEGE IS BORIN
  24. Ron Jeremy
    SO IF UR GONA BE PLAYIN FPS DA ONLY RELE GENER U NEDE 2 NO HO 2 DO IT WEL HERES SUM ADVISE FROM ME DA BEST FPS MAN N STUF
     
    1: KIL EVERY1 INCLUDIN DOSE ON UR TEAM B/C KILIN IS ALWAS FUN NO MATER HO IS BEIN KILED
     
    2: IGNOR DA GOLE N KIL PPL B/C HO GIVS A FUK ABOUT CAPIN WEN U CAN BUST A CAP N SUM1S ASS LOL
     
    3: CUS A LOT B/C YELIN DAT DA OTEHR GUY IS A FUKEN DUMAS SIHTSAIN PROVS U HAV MRO SKIL DEN HIM
     
    4: GO AFK A LOT B/C TAHT MAKS UR TEME MAD N NOT ESPECT U 2 COEM BACK N STRAT KILIN TEHM
     
    5: HAV FUN
  25. Ron Jeremy
    QIUT SIMPL RELLY WATS DA HARDST GAM U BETE 4 ME IT MITE BE SUPER MRAIO WOROD B/C I WAS ONC FORCD 2 PLAY IT B/C MY RELE VIDOE GAMS WERNT WORKIN N 4 SUM RESIN SUPPR MIRAO WOLRD WAS TEHRE SO I PLAID IT N IT WAS RELLY FKIN HARD N SIHT I HAD 2 FIGUR OUT SIHT NSTED OF LIK MODREN GAMS DAT HOLD MY HAN SO I CAN PLAY TEHM EASER
     
    IT WAS RELLY FKIN WERD TEHRS DIS CAEP N U HAV 2 RUN N FLY W/ IT BUT TEHR IS NO TING ON DA SCRENE DAT SES RUN N JUMP 2 FLIE W/ CAPE SO I DIDNT NO 2 DO IT B/C IT DIDNT TEL ME 2 I ASLO FODN DIS YOSSY GUY HO ETES PPL N SIHT N ITS RELLY ANOYIN B/C I CANT TAK HIM IN CASLE OR HANTED HOSE SO YA FUK DAT SIHT N STUF LIK TAHT U NO WAT I MENE N IT US RELLY FKIN TERIBLE B/C IT DUSNT AUTOSAV EVERY 0.000000005 SECONS U HAV 2 FITE DA CASLE N GOHST HOSE 2 SAV DATS RELY SIHTY B/C IT MAKS ME HAV TO PLAE CARFULY N IT MAKS LOSIN ACTULY MENE SUMTIN WICH IS A DUMAS TING 2 DO
     
    EVEN WOROSE WAS WEN I GOT 2 DA BOSE I TRIDE TO USE DA ROBOT DROGAN BICH 2 GET 2 HIM EXPECIN A QUICTIM EVENT BUT I JUST GOT HRUT IT WUS ANOYIN B/C I HAD 2 FITE HIM W/ HIS ROBOT DROGAN BICHES N SIHT LIK TAHT FUK DAT GAME ITS NOT EVEN HD ITS STUPID NARMOL D WICH IS A SIHTLODE OF FUK
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