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TailsIsNotAlone

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  1. TailsIsNotAlone
    MLP: FIM has the most harmonious and creative fandom that I've ever been a part of. We share our enjoyment of a great show, and we're part of a tremendously active community where new projects are constantly popping up all around us. What with limited time and real-life demands, It's impossible to give all of those stories, songs, and animations the attention they deserve. Sometimes it takes months--even years--for one of them to really sink in.
     
    Which brings me to 'Snowdrop'.
     
    You all probably know about it by now, but it's
    by Silly Filly Studios about a pony who discovers her special ability and makes winter a celebrated time of year in Equestria. When it came out on March 21, 2013, bronies raved about it. The animation wasn't as slick as 'Double Rainboom', but it stood out as a stellar project and a touching story that moved many of us to liquid pride. Even if you don't like the main character or SFS, the time and effort they put into this is nothing to sneeze at. 

     
    'Snowdrop' did not inspire me very much when it first debuted. I was going through a rough patch at the time: moving to a new place, starting a new job, busy with a podcast, struggling with my writing, and overall I just needed a break from the fandom. I thought the episode was mildly engaging but not exceptional, and after one watch I quickly moved on to the next thing.
     
    This week I came back to 'Snowdrop', and after watching with fresh eyes and a somewhat healthier mindset, my love and respect for that little blue filly has grown exponentially--so much so that I'm going to cap off my journey of rediscovery with a fanfic.
     
    It won't be very long or complicated; however, it will be very different from all the other Snowdrop fics you may have read. The "Luna says goodbye to Snowdrop" plot has been done before in good stories like Snowy Night and Snow Angel. Others ship her with another OC called Nyx, and to date her most popular outing is an ongoing crossover with Frozen. Mine will be an irreverent comedy, as suggested by the working title: ...And It's Freaking Cold Up Here. It's offbeat, it's weird, but with it I will pay my proper respects to this extraordinary character.
     
    I hope you guys will check it out and enjoy. The story comes out on March 21, the 2-year anniversary of 'Snowdrop'. (Time flies, doesn't it?) I would also be thrilled to get your thoughts on the animation! Until then, [lame pun] CHILL. [/lame pun]
     


     
    I also posted this blog on FIMfiction under the title "Thawing Out 'Snowdrop'".
  2. TailsIsNotAlone
    *In a dream. But please, don't let the shameless false advertising in the title stop me from sharing this totally loony story with you.
     
    It's so ridiculous I have to type it out before going back to sleep, or I'll forget it or stop believing I ever had it. It also must be related in full detail, making it a bit too long for the "What Are Your Dreams" thread but ideal for a blog, so here it is.
     
    I was over at a relative's house. My aunt and uncle's place , to be precise. It looked exactly like my grandparent's, at least on the inside, but different outside. So for whatever reason, they were having someone staying over with them for a night or so: THE POPE. Yes. Pope Benedict XVI is my aunt and uncle's houseguest. I don't know why, but he is.
     
    So as my dream went, the relatives were all gone doing whatever it is they do, and I was still there. Well, I thought, I'm not religious at all. In fact, I left Catholicism long ago because my private school sucked and I was tired of hitting intellectual brick walls everywhere I turned. But if you had an opportunity to see and talk to the Pope in person at your aunt's house, would you pass it up?
     
    So I go downstairs to the guest room he was staying in (the same one I once used after moving out of my parents' and before I got an apartment). And there he is, standing in the doorway in full regalia. He looks just like he does on TV, except a little bigger and somehow more...not sure how to say it. There's just something faintly sinister about him. (Or maybe I always thought that. Look at his picture. You can't tell me this man is not evil.)
     
    Naturally I'm a little nervous. I figure you're supposed to bow or something, so I do just to get on his good side. "Er, Your Eminence...I'm sorry for disturbing you, but may I ask you one question?"
     
    "Why, certainly, sonny," the Pope says kindly.
     
    "I'm sure you hear this all the time," I say carefully as he discards his outer robe and seats himself casually on the carpet. "But...what's it like being the Pope?"
     
    "I'll tell you," he replies, "But first you have to come over here and sit on my knee."
     
    "Um...okay." Gee, that's weird. I'm a grown man and he wants me to sit on his lap? But I go over and do it anyway, since it's a dream and you kind of have to go where your mind takes you. I never could manage that lucid dreaming stuff...but it would have come in handy here, because as soon as I'm sitting on his knee, the Holy Father does something very bizarre...
     
    He makes a pass at me.
     
    I don't remember what he says, just that it's gross and I get the hell off his knee. This is even more uncomfortable to write about than it is to read, folks.
     
    "Hold on," the Pope says, and now he's looking more sinister and crazy with each passing second. "Don't you want an answer to your question?!" And he reaches behind the bed and pulls out a speargun.
     

     
    Like the kind you would use against big fish in the water or something. Except there are no fish around, only me, and this innocent scenario is taking a highly unwelcome turn into dark comedy.
     
    Laughing crazily, His Unholiness fires. The first spear misses me and splinters the closet door I'm standing next to. "What the f*** is wrong with you?!" I scream as he fires the second spear into the ceiling above me. I'm standing like 15 feet away, so he must not be a very good shot, but I have to get away from him just the same. The third shot goes into the wall where I was standing; I'm already racing up the stairs and into the living room. I run out the front door and lock it behind me.
     
    I know no one in my family will believe this, but as I run, I realize there's one thing I have to do, even if I have no idea why. The Pope isn't athletic enough to pursue me, but he's still in there and still dangerous. I quickly find a friend of my cousin's and get a spare set of keys off him. "What do you need them for?" he asks. "I can't tell you. You'd never believe it," I answer. I run back to the house, unlock the front door, eye the living room to make sure no homicidal religious leaders are waiting for me...and I sneak out their big flat-screen TV.
     
    At that point, my dog started whining and the dream ended. Yep. So THIS horrible near-death experience is the first dream that I remember in months, and I will never be able to see Pope Benedict in the paper or on television again without thinking of it.
     
    Hallelujah. 
    I never would've had a dream like this about Pius IX or John XXIII...they just don't make Popes like they used to.
     
     
    "I have as much authority as the Pope...I just don't have as many people who believe it."
    --George Carlin, 1937-2008
  3. TailsIsNotAlone

    CUPCAEKS 2

    By TailsIsNotAlone,

    Don't mind me, I just felt like parodying Cupcakes AND bad fanfiction in general. Basically going against everything that was posted in the Fanfiction Writing Guide posted by Dawn Rider.
    http://mlpforums.com/topic/52513-ezns-fanfiction-writing-guide/?view=getnewpost
    Enjoy.
     
    cupcaeks v2
    by tailsisnotalone
    omg hello fluttershy said pinkie pie. she was jumping up and down alot while flutter shy just looked at her to shy to say anything. um h-hi p-pinkie p-pie if thats ok she finally said shuffling a hoof nervosly on the floor. oh thats totally alright flutters you can always say hello to me, i love it when other ponies say hello! said pinkie. And especially when they let me lure them down into the basement and lock the door behind them that is just my favorite thing because then we can play the BEST games. you locked the door? asked fluttershy. now now dont be a shypie said pinkie cuz this is going to be fun! out of nowhere she pulled out a huge butchr knife. sorry said fluttershy i know your secret your not rly pinkie pie your sgt sprinkles who wrote the first cupcakes story. and your projecting your sick fantasys into a cartoon character when you rly shood be getting mental help. dawwwwwr ur no fun! said pinkie/sgt. ok enough now bgone evil fanfic writer spirit shouted fluttershy giving her the stare. pinkie fell over frothing at the mouth then got up and blinked. wow she said, what happened? an example of a rly bad fanfic said flutters shy, plus tailsisnotalone felt like makeing fun of cupcakes. thats rite i did said tails from out of no where. plus i have my own fantasy to deal with. you sure do said rainbow dash get over here. and she kissed him
    the end
  4. TailsIsNotAlone
    Lyra Stuns Dash in Thriller

    Lyra entered Cloudsdale as the weakest contender in the league and left with an unforgettable 4-vote win.
     
    Fans of Rainbow Dash flocked to the sky from all over the forums—tailgating, drinking cider, swapping pictures of their favorite Pegasus and preparing to celebrate an easy victory before the Divisional round.
    None of them got to celebrate as a 6th-seeded background pony named Lyra Heartstrings pulled off the biggest upset of the competition. After jumping out to a quick lead on opening day, the best young flier in Equestria was poised for victory. But the eccentric mint-green unicorn, who squeaked into the playoffs via tiebreaker, suddenly surged forward and stayed one gallop ahead for most of the game.

    Rainbow Dash loses the game, but not her looks—or her spirit.
     
    Rainbow silenced any doubters who thought she couldn’t play from behind by fighting back and regaining the lead on Wednesday, but Lyra found a way through her defense once again and held on for a stunning win. Her victory sends reverberations across the EFC as she faces Applejack next week in a match nopony was predicting, sending Twilight Sparkle into a duel with Vinyl Scratch.
    “Oh my gosh,” Lyra gasped while resting on the bench. “I knew humans were out there! I knew it! And they…they voted for me…thank you so much. I’m going to research you even more now!!”
    Dash appeared shocked and said little in her post-game interview. When asked where she planned to go from here, the Pegasus replied, “I’m Rainbow Dash. All I’m gonna do is get better.”
    LYRA, 76-72
     
     
    Trixie Faces the Music
    An EFC West marefight that raged all through the regular season was finally settled this week. Celebrity DJ Vinyl Scratch and “the Great and Powerful” Trixie fought each other all the way to the playoffs, and in the end, Vinyl was the more appreciated pony.
    “Trixie has nothing to say to you!” the blue mare said as she stormed off. “Obviously the most beautiful mare in Equestria, whose beauty was matched only by her bravery in vanquishing not one but two Ursa Majors, is not appreciated here!!” A puff of smoke burst around her, but rather than vanishing, she galloped out of Club Pon3 as it was dissipating.

    Trixie blows town once again, facing an uncertain future.
     
    Trixie’s personality, always a small factor in attractiveness, may have lent Vinyl an edge—and if so, that edge grew sharper as the game wore on. After four or five days, a tight contest went in Vinyl’s favor. The attractive DJ slowly but surely built a decisive lead to advance to the Divisional Round.

    ‘DJPon3’ finally vanquishes her rival—but can she drop a beat hard enough to stop Celestia’s number-one student?
     
    “Party at Sugarcube tonight!” Vinyl whooped. “You guys might wanna bring your earplugs.” But Scratch won’t have long to celebrate, as she faces a tough contest with Twilight Sparkle next.
    VINYL, 82-66
     
     
    A ‘Fabulous’ Victory

    Rarity made ‘getting there the hard way’ look easy.
     
    It was almost a relief to have one wildcard game that wasn't a hoof-biter.
    After fighting her way to an unlikely playoff berth, Cloud Chaser found herself hopelessly overmatched against one of the most beautiful ponies in the PFC. The excellent defense that helped Rarity ward off a challenge from Octavia in the regular season was hardly needed here, as she galloped out to a huge lead and never slowed down. In a grinding wildcard week that saw upsets of two other Mane 6, the Element of Generosity never broke a sweat.
    “I was disappointed that a mare of my fabulosity was relegated to the, *ahem*, ‘wild’ card,” Rarity remarked in her dressing room afterwards, “But a lady does what she must. Photographers? I am ready for my close-up! Now, now. Not that close...”

    Cloud Chaser’s wobbly 6th-round playoff berth ended with a crash.
     
    “It is what it is,” Chaser said while being consoled by her sister Flitter. “I didn’t bring my A-game today. Rarity did. I just have to go back to weather patrol and be ready for the next opportunity. And something tells me it’s gonna rain over at Carousel Boutique tomorrow.”
    RARITY, 109-39
     
     
    Octavia’s Winning Performance
    It was a good week to be a unicorn, but an even better week to be a background pony. For much of this game, the party pony and the classy cellist fought the tightest battle of the wildcard. Pinkie Pie and Octavia tied each other and exchanged one or two-vote leads too many times to count. But in the final days, it was Octavia who surged ahead in the 2013 Most Attractive Pony Tournament.

    The only cello player in Ponyville performs a celebratory solo after her hotly contested win.
     
    “I am honored to have come out victorious today,” the musician said graciously. “Pinkie Pie is a vivacious mare and a worthy opponent, who greatly disrupted my performance at the Gala a few years ago. I suppose a small part of me did not forget that.”
    “Lose? I didn’t really lose, silly,” Pinkie giggled with a smile that was just a little too wide. “I won 62 friends! YAY! Can you imagine if all of them came over for a party? And all of them brought cupcakes? That would be 62 cupcakes! Or if all of them baked a TRAY of cupcakes?!?! That would be like eleven-teen gazillion cupcakes!!! Ohmygosh I can’t wait anymore…PARTYYYY!”

    Down but never out, Pinkie Pie smiles for the camera.
     
    The pink mare promptly grabbed our reporting team and spirited us away to Sugarcube Corner, for what was assuredly one of the biggest parties in Ponyville history.
     
    OCTAVIA, 86-62
     
    Look back on Alfonzo's tourney here! http://mlpforums.com/topic/44455-the-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/page-1
    And check out the Divisional results here... http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2743-full-divisional-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
    The Conference Championships here... http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2910-full-conference-championship-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
    And the Magic Bowl here! http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-3094-magic-bowl-recap-and-the-most-attractive-pony-is/
  5. TailsIsNotAlone
    View the final round, the Magic Bowl, here! http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-3094-magic-bowl-recap-and-the-most-attractive-pony-is/
    And review last week's Divisional results here. http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2743-full-divisional-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
     
    Kindness Flutters On
     
    “Fillies and gentlecolts,” Mayor Mare announced grandly, “Allow me to introduce the winner of the PFC Championship game and one of two ponies going on to the very first Magic Bowl…the only cellist in Ponyville!”
    “Um…excuse me…”
    “Truly this is a most auspicious day for our elegant gray earth pony, one of Equestria’s greatest musicians…” The clueless politician continued.
    “Um—actually…”
    “…Whose melodious journey through the Most Attractive Pony Tournament is clearly just beginning. Without further ado, here is—”
    “EXCUSE ME!” a yellow Pegasus burst out. Mayor Mare jumped in surprise, as did the entire crowd.
    “Um, oh, I’m very sorry. But…you made a mistake. It’s just that, if you look at the votes, I think, um…actually, I won…if that’s okay.”
    The mayor took another look at the scoreboard. “…Why, of course you did, dear! As I was saying, here is the conference winner, FLUTTERSHY!”

    The mayor’s new spectacles will be arriving shortly.
     
    Anypony who had voted within the first two days and not checked the poll since would be equally surprised.
    Coming off convincing upsets over Pinkie Pie in the wildcard and Spitfire in the divisional, Octavia jumped out to a huge double-digit lead early in the game. Fans applauded with delight as her music rose through the arena and into the heavens.
    As it turned out, the crescendo came too early.
    Over the next few days, Fluttershy rose to great heights of her own. For a while she was nearly an afterthought in her own game, but “the bunny whisperer” refused to give up. She tied Octavia in the second half, and finally surpassed her to score another win.
    Fluttershy’s strong playoff standing was clearly no coincidence, as she will meet Lyra Heartstrings this week for the Celestial Trophy.
    “Oh, um…you don’t have to interview me,” the relentlessly cute Element said bashfully. “Besides, I have to rush home! Angel gets so upset if his tail isn’t fluffed properly.”

    The elegant cellist went diminuendo, but not al niente.
     
    Octavia was disappointed, but graceful in defeat. “Worry not, everypony,” she said after the game. “This was only my first approach at greatness. I have many more performances yet to come before my final symphony.”
    She left the field with a cadre of other musical ponies, a mint green unicorn among them.
    FLUTTERSHY, 123-100
     
     
     
    Playing With the Angels
     
    Background ponies simply don’t make it this far.
    The kind of shock and excitement that rocked Ponyville this week only comes with a Sonic Rainboom, or a new apple-bucking record—or a thrilling magic duel. This time, it came from the Cinderella story of Lyra Heartstrings.

    ‘My name is Lyra Heartstrings, and you will remember me...’
     
    An inspiring tale of upset victories in Cloudsdale and Sweet Apple Acres was expected to end at Ponyville Library in the EFC Championship. And it nearly did as Lyra’s dominating division rival took an early lead. For a while it took everything she had just to stay one step behind. As the days wore on, the natural advantage of Twilight Sparkle seemed impossible to overcome.
    But as ponies and bronies alike can testify, nothing is impossible in this tournament.
    Twilight swept the anthropologist (and her entire division) in the regular season. But this was a new game and a new Lyra, and she proved it by gaining a 3-vote lead as the second half began. The 'mane' character struck back, and at one point led the match by 6. Knowing better than anypony that the “clock was ticking,” she tried to hold her lead—but the pony no one was betting on made one last charge and held on for another improbable win.

    Twilight wasn’t the only one unprepared for the outcome.
     
    “Oh, well!” the purple prodigy exclaimed, her left eye twitching only slightly. “I sure didn’t plan for this…but I guess that’s just how it goes! I just wasn’t able to stand between Lyra and all her good friends! Spike! Where did I go wrong?! Was it my mark? My eyes? My tail?” She looked at it and gasped in horror. “Oh Celestia, I think a strand was out of place!!”
    The baby dragon shook his head and sighed. “Come on, Twilight. Let’s go to the spa. It’ll make you feel better! And I can see Rarity…” He led Twilight gently away from the library.
    Lyra rises above all expectations only to climb the highest mountain—a daunting task, especially without hands. Reporters found her camped out at the edge of Fluttershy’s field the night before the first Magic Bowl, awaiting her final test.
    “One more game and then I’m off. The humans are calling me—I know they are. Research just isn’t enough anymore. I have to see them! Twilight was really helpful even though she didn’t win. I think she’s found a way for me to visit the human world at last!” Lyra paused.
    “It’s going to be a tough one, isn’t it? But I’m not afraid. I knew it all along—if I believed in them, one day, they would believe in me.”
    The EFC Champion took out her lyre, looked up at the stars, and began to play.
     
    LYRA, 118-105
  6. TailsIsNotAlone
    Lyra 'Bowls' Over MLP Forums
     
    It was just another Saturday in the big city. A river of vehicles crawled and honked their way through the streets. Teenagers with allergies in the dozens and noses in their smart phones shuffled down the sidewalk. A 30-ish man looking down on his luck made a beeline for the nearest bench where he sat every day.
     
    To its inhabitants, this tired tableau of human civilization was nothing special. But it was the most amazing thing that Lyra Heartstrings had ever seen.
     
     

    From where Lyra sits, all of us are winners.
     
    “Hey,” the man on the bench nodded slowly as a very cute and very strange creature sat down beside him. “You got a light?”
     
    “Why sure, Mr. Human!” the unicorn replied. Her horn flared up and glowed incandescently.
     
    “Holy ****,” said the man.
     
    The rest of Lyra's memorable debut in the human world and how she became an anthropology professor and/or escaped from scientists and/or was elected President is too long to relate here. What matters is that to reach our world, Lyra had to go through Fluttershy in the inaugural Magic Bowl--and that she did.
     
    For once, it wasn't close. The mint-colored mare who had galloped furiously from one tough race to the next scored a comfortable victory.
     
    Fluttershy's supporters had seen their pony in a tough situation before, as dozens of voters gave her opponent a huge early lead in the PFC Championship. The same thing happened in the Magic Bowl--except here, the deficit was too large for Shy to make up. At one point she had cut Lyra's lead of over 40 votes to just 23, but it was as close as the game would get.

    At long last, the oft-ignored background pony has her moment of glory.
     
    Lyra rode a dizzying wave of fan support through most of the final round, bidding a fond farewell to the appreciative crowd in Ponyville. "I'll be back, everypony, I promise! I just have to see all these awesome creatures who got me here. And now I finally will! Hee hee...I love them!" She stepped into a mysterious machine branded with Twilight's cutie mark, and was gone--but now, never to be forgotten.
     
    "Oh, um, it's all right that I didn't win," Fluttershy said bashfully to reporters. "Just being the second most attractive pony in Equestria is very nice. And the animals made me train so hard just to get here, I was kind of exhausted. Angel is such a tough coach. But maybe next time it will be different..." the shy pegasus trailed off slightly. The sun went briefly behind a cloud, and the air grew heavy and oppressive. "Maybe next time...everypony...and every human...is going to love me."
     

    Mommy... 
     
    But this dark moment was over as soon as it began. "So, anypony want to help me feed the animals?" Fluttershy chirped.
     
    Four weeks ago, you couldn’t have found one brony willing to bet that the first-ever Most Attractive Pony tournament would end with the announcement “Lyra Heartstrings, Magic Bowl Champion.” A mediocre contender stuck in the same division with the main character of the show, Lyra’s playoff prospects were doubtful, and her chances of beating a Mane 6 head-to-head improbable.
     
    But the love of bronies can accomplish just about anything, and thanks to them the unicorn blazed a trail through the most hostile territory, overcoming four Mane 6 ponies to reach the championship. The feat is unprecedented and unlikely to be repeated by any background pony in the future. Lyra's journey has culminated in her greatest moment on MLP Forums, and proven that beauty is not in popularity, but the eye of the beholder.
    LYRA, 108-83
     
    Other stories this week:
    The Lyra Phenomenon: An Exclusive Interview With TailsIsNotAlone--Sunday Feb. 10, 8pm Eastern at http://livestream.com/theloyalbrony (No, seriously)
    ~Chaotic Discord~ Out With Concussion: Excessive Facepalming the Culprit
    Hasbro Shuts Down Most Attractive Pony Tournament for 2014: CEO: "You've had your fun kids, now get lost..."
     
     
    Want to know how the rest of the tournament went? Recaps of all the matches are here:
    Conference Championships, 1/30: http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2910-full-conference-championship-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
    Divisional Round, http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2743-full-divisional-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
    Wild Card Round, http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2609-full-wild-card-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
     
    And check out the massive 53-page MAPT thread here:
    http://mlpforums.com/topic/44455-the-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/page-53
  7. TailsIsNotAlone
    Vote in this year's MAPT here! : http://mlpforums.com/topic/145433-the-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2016-let-the-season-begin/page-2
     
    Jinxed Trix Hits Brix
     
    Despite becoming an instant favorite on MLP Forums since her debut in Season 1 and a universally recognized beauty, there was one thing the "Great and Powerful" Trixie had never been: a winner in the playoffs of the Most Attractive Pony Tournament.
     
    On Monday, that didn't change. A game that seemed well within the showpony's reach suddenly spiraled out of control following a sudden flurry by her esteemed opponent--and a bizarre officiating error that evoked memories of the NFL's "replacement refs" disaster in 2012.
     

    Was this Trixie's last stand in the MAPT?
     
    The ruler of all Equestria began the game with a solid advantage, but as the week wore on, Trixie slowly gained enough momentum to draw even. With Trixie ahead by one vote, a malfunctioning game clock led to the game (all the games) being declared over--a full 24 hours before it should have. The head official eventually fixed the clock and restarted the round, but the vain magician never regained her momentum. Celestia went on to win the game handily.
     

    The monarch took it easy on the sweets this time around.
     
    With her third one-and-done finish in the books, Trixie fled Canterlot Castle without a word to anypony.
    The Princess' postgame remarks were brief but gracious.
     
    "My heart goes out to Trixie after the events of this week," she said. "I congratulate her on a good game and another impressive season."
     
    Celestia improves on her first Wild Card appearance in 2015, where she lost to Sunset Shimmer. She goes on to face the defending Magic Bowl champion, Rarity, in the very next round.
     
    CELESTIA, 71-58
     
     
     
    A New Mane Attraction?
     
    There's a new pony in town, and she's just put the entire PFC on notice.
     
    Famous pop singer Countess Coloratura is the latest in a long line of lovable musical ponies, but last week's dismantling of Starlight Glimmer may be her biggest smash hit of all. In a tournament that saw many surprises before the playoffs even began--including many contenders switching divisions and Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Sunset Shimmer, and Spitfire all failing to qualify--the Countess' successful debut seemed to fit right in.
     

    Coloratura scored the most lopsided win of the Wild Card round.
     
    As the singer gained enough momentum to make the game a downhill run by the second half, 6th-seeded Starlight Glimmer seemed at a loss to fight back. Some of her old ferocity might have been just what was needed to turn the tide, but it never came out, and things came to a predictable conclusion.
     
    "At another time, I would have said that attractiveness contests were soon to be meaningless when I spread my message of equality across Equestria. But now, I..." Starlight paused. "...What was wrong with that plan, again?"
     
    Princess Twilight Sparkle, who was standing nearby, quickly took her aside for a one-on-one chat.
     

    The former extremist appeared to take her loss in stride.
     
    The Countess was swarmed with so many adoring fans seeking autographs that reporters were unable to get a word with her, but the smile on her face spoke volumes. Next week will see the kind of matchup that can only happen in the MAPT, when she takes on her old friend: the #2 seed in the PFC, Applejack.
     
    COLORATURA, 85-44
     
     
     
    Pommel Gets Pummeled
     
    It's official: Lyra Heartstrings' picture belongs next to the word "comeback" in the brony dictionary.
     
    Coco Pommel seemed so certain. Having edged out Sunset Shimmer and Fluttershy for an unlikely playoff spot, she would validate her success with a first-round win and move on to many more victories. The plan appeared as flawless as any of her clothing designs. For three quarters, the upstart fashion pony from Manehattan held the eccentric unicorn in check. At this rate she would not only beat the first Magic Bowl champion, but do it with relative ease.
     
    Then the other horseshoe dropped.
     

    Coco's first playoff appearance taught her a valuable lesson.
     
    With only one day to go in the round, Lyra stormed back in the votes, and suddenly the two beauties were neck and neck. Unfazed by the error with the game clock, she maintained her momentum and closed out a successful comeback win.
     
    "Coco is a really pretty pony, but I wasn't too worried," Lyra exclaimed to reporters after the game. "I've always been a slow starter. You should see Bon Bon trying to get me out of bed in the morning! But it all worked out in the end. I really want to thank all the humans out there who helped me win. I owe everything to them."
     

    The Minty One has earned her beauty rest.
     
    Lyra will progress to the Divisional round where she faces Twilight Sparkle, the only pony to have ever defeated her in the playoffs. It will be another chapter in their storied history; Lyra beat Twilight in the 2013 EFC Championship, 118-105, while the Princess beat Lyra in the 2015 Wild Card, 91-75.
     
    "She got me," a surprised and exhausted Coco said after the contest. "There just isn't much else I can say...I let my guard down. I guess I still have a lot to learn."
     
    LYRA, 72-57
     
     
     
    A Little Night Music
     
    Thus far, Octavia's career in the MAPT has been one of diminishing returns. In 2013 she went all the way to a conference championship before losing to Fluttershy. In 2015 the Element of Kindess foiled her again, this time in the Divisional round. And this year, even without her nemesis in the tournament, the cellist never made it out of the Wild Card.
     
    As usual, Octy started strong, hanging tough with last year's EFC Champion. However, she faltered in the end, and Princess Luna skillfully exploited every mistake. The Princess of the Night won it going away in the fourth, despite her opponent's best efforts to salvage things.
     

    Luna lives to fight another day--or night, as it were.
     
    "The quality of my opponents has truly been impressive," Octavia remarked politely when it was all over. "But I entered the contest with an expectation to win, and if not for a sour note here and there, I believe that would have been the result. I wish my fellow musicians, Lyra Heartstrings and Countess Coloratura, all the best in the future."
     
    Reporters are still awaiting postgame remarks from Princess Luna other than "huzzah!" and some very high celebratory leaps into the air.
     

    Octavia--and her fans--are still waiting for her day to come. In the meantime, the show must go on...
     
    Luna continues on to another big game against the first seed in the EFC: the mighty, but perennially unlucky, Rainbow Dash.
     
    LUNA, 75-54
  8. TailsIsNotAlone
    Rar-efied!
     

     
     
    Carousel Boutique being closed for the day is about as common an occurrence in Ponyville as a Parasprite invasion. Yet on February 10, 2015, one is likely to see colored lights flashing behind the shaded windows, Pinkie Pie's confetti flying out of the chimney, and a sign on the door reading "CLOSED FOR FABULOSITY--FRIENDS, GAWKERS, AND WELL-WISHERS ONLY."
     
    The proprietor has earned her day off. Being the Element of Generosity, the most popular clothing designer in Ponyville, the most ambitious social climber in Canterlot and Manehattan, and the most eligible bachelorette in Equestria was not enough for Rarity. As usual she desired something more, an accomplishment so great that not even the fourth wall could contain it--and as usual, she got exactly what she wanted. Rarity is now the Most Attractive Pony of 2015.
     
    The journey was not an easy one. Her treacherous road was strewn with the doubts of those who had overlooked her since 2010. It echoed with ugly words from those who derided her in 2014. In the past two weeks, a challenge from the seemingly unbeatable Princess Luna herself plunged it into darkness. But through it all, the pearl pony missed not a single graceful step.
     
     
    The Conference Championships
     
    It was like a rerun from 2013--veterans Twilight Sparkle in the EFC Championship and Fluttershy in the PFC Championship--until you took a closer look. Instead of upstart Cinderella contender Lyra Heartstrings, this time Twilight found herself muzzle to muzzle with one of the most loved ponies on MLP Forums, the charming and enigmatic Princess Luna. And where elegant earth pony cellist Octavia once stood, Fluttershy saw a pony she had beaten multiple times before: one of her best friends, the vivacious and ever-fashionable Rarity.
     
    Once again Twilight came "so close, yet so far" from a Magic Bowl, as she was simply outvoted and outclassed by a pony who turned the entire tournament upside down without really trying, while Fluttershy met a rare defeat at the hooves of an opponent whose determination neutralized her well-known ability to come from behind. When the dust settled, the thousand-year exile and the Little Drama Queen That Could were the last two ponies standing.
     
    LUNA, 123-78
    RARITY, 114-87
     
     
    The Magic Bowl
     
    No one knew just what was going to happen next. In a game that featured two remarkable competitors with bend-but-don't-break defense and dynamic, high-scoring offense, the result was a thrilling shootout. For two weeks and nearly thirty pages, Luna and Rarity had one of the most closely-contested games in playoff history.
     
    As her fans mobilized and a belief that it was her time swept across the board, Rarity had a strong start that set the tempo of the game. But as the denizens of the Lunar Republic promised, her lead did not last; Luna fought back aggressively and took the lead going into halftime. After that, the battle truly began. Pictures flew back and forth like snowflakes in a blizzard. Bets, promises, and proclamations of love reverberated from Canterlot Castle as each pony repeatedly counterattacked and took the lead. But then came the fourth quarter, when champions are made and one pony must step up.
     
    That pony was Rarity.
     

    The forum-wide awakening of Rarity's fan base catapulted her to a stunning victory.
     
    "Oh dear...I don't know what to say! So much success. So much love. So much...I...I can't stand it!" Rarity wailed rapturously after the game, collapsing onto a fainting couch.
     
    She promptly stood up two seconds later. "...Well, perhaps I can. But I must admit that for a time, I wondered if even I was fabulous enough to win an honor like this one. My little setbacks in the last few years have been...difficult. But as any fashionista worth her little red glasses will tell you, the rigors of conception and design must eventually lead to a beautiful final product. And I mustn't forget: to everypony who so faithfully supported and appreciated me...thank you."
     

    Luna, Woona, Moonbutt, call her what you like--just don't forget to add "strongest runner-up in M.A.P. history."
     
    "Attention, loyal subjects!" Princess Luna said after the game in her own special, and very loud, way. "We must address thee in the Royal Canterlot voice! We are, and shall always be, the loveliest pony in Equestria. None must be allowed to decree otherwise! As punishment for this outrage, We declare that the night...SHALL LAST...FOREV--" She paused as her fellow princess Twilight Sparkle stood up and whispered urgently in her ear. "What We mean to say, of course, is congratulations to Rarity. But We shall win next time!"
     
    She shared a civil hoofshake with her worthy opponent and departed to raise the moon, while Rarity retired to the Boutique for her beauty sleep. And with that, the second Magic Bowl and Most Attractive Pony Tournament came to another storybook ending.
     
    RARITY, 151-144
     
     
     
    Look back on the Divisional round games here... http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-14785-2015-most-attractive-pony-tournament-divisional-recap/
     
    ...And the Wild Card games here! http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-14709-2015-most-attractive-pony-tournament-wild-card-recap/
     
    Finally, see the 2015 tourney thread here. http://mlpforums.com/topic/117121-the-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2015-magic-bowl-ii/page-1
  10. TailsIsNotAlone
    That's right--I got 'em all. I have no proof so you'll just have to trust me on this one.
     
     
    5:1, 5:2 - Princess Celestia accidentally transforms Diamond Tiara into an alicorn princess. Chaos ensues.
     
    5:3 - Flash Sentry from the Equestria Girls universe visits Ponyville. The Mane 6 spend the whole episode talking about how hot he is.
     
    5:4 - Cheerilee goes back to school--in Prance. Sacre bleu!

     
    5:5 - A spell gone awry causes Celestia and Luna to switch bodies with Snips and Snails. Unfortunately, it's permanent.
     
    5:6 - The Apple Family stands in front of their fence drinking cider and saying "yup."
     
    5:7 - Rarity saves Spike's life. The Dragon Code demands that he stay by her side and repay the debt. Little does he know what his pony mistress has in store for him. (Working title: "Fifty Shades of Off-White.")
     
    5:8 - The Changelings take over the Crystal Empire, then give it back because it was just way too easy. (Crystal Heart powered by love + changelings = very bad news.)
     
    5:9 - The background pony episode. Unfortunately, it is based on MTV's Real World where they all must live in an apartment together.
     
    5:10 - In a stunning development, Rarity, Sweetie Belle, and Ditzy Doo are able to visit the real human world. They spend the whole time in a shopping mall where Rarity just can't find the right color lipstick.
     

     
    5:11 - Somepony gives Pinkie Pie some mare-a-juana cookies.
     
    5:12 - Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle accept Scootaloo's invitation to a "house party," not realizing her house is a cardboard box in the woods.
     
    5:13 - Princess Luna (still in Snips' body) learns that she owes over 1000 years worth of back taxes from when she was imprisoned on the moon. The entire monarchy goes bankrupt, leaving Mrs. Harshwhinny the new ruler of Equestria.
     
    5:14 - Twilight Sparkle becomes a fan of the Twilight series. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson guest-star.
     
    5:15 - Discord pursues his lifelong dream of being a country singer.
     
    5:16 - Rainbow Dash goes so fast that she accelerates her own evolution and starts turning into a lizard.
     
    5:17 - Silver Spoon reads Nietzsche and concludes that Celestia is dead.
     

     
    5:18 - King Sombra comes back from the dead to challenge Tirek to a grunting and growling contest.
     
    5:19 - Owloysius visits the Mirror Pool, makes a million copies of himself, and attempts to take over Equestria.
     
    5:20 - Pinkie Pie gets diabetes.
     
    5:21 - Ponyville catches disco fever. 99% of the episode is singing and dancing. Donna Summer guest-stars.
     
    5:22 - Fluttershy wants Celestia to change her into a tree.
     
    5:23 - The CMC messes around with love potions again, causing every Mane 6 pony to fall in love with all the others.
     
    5:24 - With water skiing becoming an increasingly popular sport in Equestria, Rainbow Dash is determined to successfully jump over a shark. Granny Smith raps at the end.
     
    5:25, 5:26 - The finale. A supposed flashback to the ending of 'Over a Barrel' reveals that Pinkie Pie and Rarity are still stranded in the desert, and everything that has happened in the series since then was just stories they were making up to entertain each other.
     

     
    (24 bad ideas. I feel strangely proud.)
  11. TailsIsNotAlone
    Rarity Outshines the Sunset
     

    Everypony's favorite fashionista patiently awaits her next challenge.
     

    Prior to the playoffs, Sunset Shimmer promised her growing fan base that she would win the Celestial Trophy and return to the human realm. She would keep only one of those promises.
     
    Supremely confident after a convincing win over Princess Celestia in the wild card, the mysterious antagonist ran straight into a wall of "fabulosity" as Rarity reminded everypony why she was the #1 seed in the league. Shimmer's appealing design and eye-catching colors could only do so much against the quintessential attractive pony.
     
    Rarity was all business in her postgame remarks. "I had an adequate performance. There are still some wrinkles to smooth out, but I promise that my next game plan shall be a flawless design! Sunset Shimmer was quite the interesting opponent and I'm sure we're going to see more of her."
     

    Sunset Shimmer reevaluates her future plans.
     

    "It's not fair!" Shimmer fumed in her locker room. "This thing was mine! I was supposed to show up Twilight Sparkle on her own turf. This isn't over yet, Princess."
     
    When asked if she was worried about facing her nemesis Fluttershy, who defeated her in the 2013 M.A.P. Tournament as well as the 2014 World Cup, Rarity replied, "Au contraire, darlings! I am simply thrilled every time I have the chance to meet a wonderful pony like her in friendly competition. It's no surprise that so many spectators like Fluttershy as much as I do. I go into this game as I do every other: with an expectation to win."
     
    RARITY, 117-73
     
     
     
    When the Music Stops
     
    Rarity was not the only one who left the divisional round with a monkey on her back. Just as Pinkie Pie was unable to defeat Octavia in two tries, Octavia herself was unable to surpass Fluttershy in their 2015 rematch.
     
    Even the details of the game evoked some deja vu: Octavia started out strong in the first half, then was slowly but surely overcome by a rising tide of Fluttershy votes. The elegant musician's failure to finish off a strong Mane 6 leaves her right back where she started, but just as before, a loss to the timid pegasus is nothing to be ashamed of.
     

    "They're all going to love me..."
     

    "Oh my goodness. I'm so happy that I was able to win!" Fluttershy exclaimed to the Ponyville press. "I think Octavia is such a beautiful pony, and I'm grateful to have an opponent that inspires me to be the very best I can be."
     
    Despite Fluttershy's unfailing kindness, her ability to overcome almost any odds makes her a most dangerous opponent. Undefeated but for a loss to Lyra Heartstrings in the first Magic Bowl, she flutters on to face Rarity--the only pony standing between her and a return trip.
     

    Octavia must compose a new strategy for the future.
     

    Octavia did not answer questions after the game, but the sad solo she played on her cello said it all. Always gracious in victory, Fluttershy was among those who stayed behind and listened as each note spread throughout the Everfree Forest.
     
    FLUTTERSHY, 107-83
     
     
     
    Twilight Steals Dash's Thunder
     

    Dash remains winless in the M.A.P. playoffs.
     

    Thinking of what to ask a pony whose season has just ended is never easy. But with Rainbow Dash, it was unnecessary. Before any reporter in the locker room could get a word out, she was already talking.
     
    "I don't get it!! Since when is being awesome, extreme, and amazing not attractive?! I mean, Twilight's my friend and I guess she's pretty good-looking--but I wore a parasprite bikini, people! Do you have any idea how those things itch?!"
     
    Her distress is understandable. The Element of Loyalty had an even better season than she did in 2013, winning a first-round bye while forcing such heavy hitters as Trixie, Lyra, and Twilight Sparkle herself into the wild card round. But ultimately, the result for Rainbow was the same: one and done. Though she fought hard through the entire game, the mane character maintained control and never relinquished her lead.
     

    Twilight shows that awesomeness is relative.
     

    "I don't have time to celebrate! There's still so much to do," Princess Twilight fretted, sounding very much like her old self. "First I have to smooth things over with Rainbow, then I have to wish Princess Luna good luck in our game, and I have to report to Princess Celestia about my progress, and then I have to write a letter to Cadence, and..."
     
    The to-do list continued long after every reporter had left the library. But one thing stood out: Luna. Twilight moves on to a dynamite EFC Championship game against one of the strongest opponents she has ever faced, and the first match ever to pit her against a fellow princess.
     
    TWILIGHT, 113-77
     
     
     
    Dark Side of the Moon
     
    There are decisive victories, there are blowouts, and then there are games that make fans wonder what one of the contenders was even doing there. Unfortunately for Princess Cadence, her divisional match against Princess Luna was that kind of game--and she was that contender.
     
    After pulling off a squeaker over Trixie in the wild card that raised a few question marks around her playoff run, Cadence did little to reassure the brony audience in her next matchup. Night fell so swiftly over Canterlot Castle that the game itself was almost obscured, but the results were crystal clear. For a first-time competitor in the M.A.P. Tournament, Luna looked unstoppable--and sounded like it, too.
     

    This princess knows how to make an entrance.
     

    "LOYAL SUBJECTS!" she bellowed, forcing many a seasoned sportswriter to drop their cameras and clamp their hooves over their ears. "IT WAS WITH GREAT PRIDE THAT WE MET A FELLOW PONY OF ROYALTY IN HONORABLE BATTLE. WE GRATEFULLY ACCEPT...er, pardon me. I gratefully accept your support. I must now retreat to prepare for the next challenge."
     
    Luna's dominating performance sets a new record for most lopsided win in M.A.P. Tournament history, surpassing Rarity's 109-39 defeat of Cloud Chaser in 2013.
     

    Love hurts.
     

    "Oh, well..." Cadence trailed off glumly in her post-game interview. "It may be a difficult loss, but it's still better than being imprisoned underground by those vile Changelings. And nearly losing the Crystal Empire to King Sombra. And having my name constantly misspelled. And..."
     
    LUNA, 134-56
     
     
     
    See a recap of the Conference Championships and Magic Bowl II here: http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-15096-magic-bowl-2015-
     
    ...And review the Wild Card results here! http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-14709-2015-most-attractive-pony-tournament-wild-card-recap/
  12. TailsIsNotAlone
    Twilight Returns With a Vengeance
     
    "I know that things have changed. I have new responsibilities. I have more challenges to deal with." Twilight Sparkle stated in her first post-game interview. "But I really wanted to win this game."
    "Yep," an exhausted-looking Spike groaned beside her. "She really did."
     

    Twilight demonstrated a rule of physics: what goes down, may also come up again.
     

    Twilight's journey through the Most Attractive Pony Tournament was much harder than last season's. Tough competition in the EFC sent her reeling into an unfamiliar wildcard spot. Yet the most powerful unicorn in Ponyville was as determined as ever to succeed--and that she did. In a rematch with defending Magic Bowl I champion Lyra Heartstrings, she cast off a burden that had weighed on her for two whole years.
     
    Twilight jumped out to a strong early lead, and at first the game showed every sign of being a blowout. But with Lyra, there is always a twist in the plot. The minty musician galloped back into contention in the last few days of the contest, slashing a lead of dozens of votes to only 16. Another miracle seemed possible for Equestria's ultimate underpony, but the clock ran out, and Equestria's newest alicorn princess emerged with another jewel in her crown.
     

    Last year's champion was gracious in defeat.
     

    "Are you kidding?" Lyra said gleefully when asked if she was disappointed about the loss. "I'm kinda relieved! It takes off all the pressure of being 'undefeated.' I mean, I didn't want to go 'one-and-done'...that's what it's called in the human world, right? But I really am happy for Twi! I mean, um, Her Majesty."
     
    The result sends the princess into a duel with Rainbow Dash. This time, Twilight won't need her hot air balloon for the trip to Cloudsdale.
     
    TWILIGHT, 91-75
     
     
     
    The More Things Change...
     
    It may be a new year, a new beginning, and a new tournament. But in Octavia and Pinkie Pie's wildcard
    rematch, the only thing that changed was the cellist's margin of victory.
     

    Pinkie is left to puzzle over another mysterious development.
     

    Along with Lyra Heartstrings, Octavia remains one of the most popular background ponies in the tournament, and here she was also the most successful. Her elegant beauty was one thing Pinkie couldn't pull out of her hammerspace, and this time it garnered even more votes than before. The party pony stayed competitive, though it was never really close.
     
    Octavia was quite composed (no pun intended) after the game, polishing her cello in the locker room. "I am grateful to Miss Pie for once again proving herself a worthy opponent. I was only a few sour notes away from going to the Magic Bowl in 2013; this year, I intend to score a masterpiece."
     

    Octavia improved on her last match with Pinkie, which she won 86-62.
     

    "Of course I'm not upset, you silly fillies! A BUNCH of people like Octavia. Just like a bunch of people like pie more than cake. I'm a super good sport--see?!" The prankster of Ponyville suddenly produced hoofsful of sticks, paddles, and balls from every sport imaginable, then just as suddenly flung them aside. "I think I'll have Octy over for a REALLY SPECIAL batch of cupcakes."
     
    She furrowed her brow at the uncomfortable silence of the reporters. "...What??"
     
    OCTAVIA, 100-66
     
     
     
    All You Need is Love?
     

    Cadence's good vibes allowed her to escape with a win.
     

    Twilight was not the only alicorn who made good. Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadence all joined the
    tournament in 2015, and all three of them qualified for the playoffs. Twilight's former babysitter faced a stiff challenge in The Great and Powerful Trixie, the lovely wandering magician who was determined to improve on her first-round exit in the last tournament.
     
    Alas, determination does not equal victory. In the closest game of the week, the two ponies dueled on a razor's edge until Cadence pulled ahead and held on for an 8-vote squeaker. She left Hoofington Theater and a stunned Trixie to a herd of reporters.
     
    "I'm very happy that the bronies were able to feel and celebrate my love for them," said the princess. "My husband Shining Armor was not able to attend, but I know he is very happy for me back in the Crystal Empire."
     

    The wheels came off Trixie's wagon once again.
     

    Trixie also had something to say, but her post-game remarks lacked the usual brashness, even hubris, that fans have come to expect.
     
    "Trixie does not understand," she said quietly, looking up at the score that was so close, yet so far. "The Great and Powerful Trixie tried as hard as she could. Doesn't anypony...like her?"
     
    CADENCE, 87-79
     
     
     
    The Sun Also Sets
     
    While all of the wildcard matchups were guaranteed entertainment, this one may well have been the most intriguing of all: the ruler of all Equestria vs. a temperamental but very cute young pony from a mysterious alternate universe. Neither pony would comment on their apparently dark history together, but the intensity of their clash said it all.
     
    Rumored to have an excellent singing voice, Sunset did very little performing in her first match. She
    succeeded simply by being herself, though not all bronies might agree on who her true self is. The red and yellow pony jumped out to a remarkable lead and rode it to the end of the game, defeating Princess Celestia herself.
     

    Sunset's future is so bright, she would have to wear shades...if she hadn't defeated a sun goddess, that is.
     

    "Oh, it was really no big deal," Sunset said nonchalantly. "I'm lying, of course. It was a huge deal to get my revenge on Celestia at last!! But not as huge as when I reach the Magic Bowl and face her new teacher's pet, that goody four-hooves Twilight Sparkle. That's the game I'm looking forward to..."
     

    Her Majesty's blank expression says it all.
     

    "I am happy to return to my usual duties as Princess of the Sun," Celestia stated before leaving Canterlot High School. "I wish my opponent all the best in the future."
     
    But no matter how graceful her exit, it is unlikely that Her Highness expected to be done so early. As many voters have learned, anything can happen in the Most Attractive Pony Tournament. Sunset advances to face Rarity in a stacked Divisional round.
     
    SUNSET, 97-69

     
    See a recap of the Divisional Round here! http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-14785-2015-most-attractive-pony-tournament-divisional-recap/
     
    Vote in the Tournament here! http://mlpforums.com/topic/117121-the-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2015-divisional-round/
    ...And revisit the 2013 Tournament here. http://www.mlpforums.com/topic/44455-the-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013-divisional-round/page-14
  13. TailsIsNotAlone
    The woman standing on the other side of the hotel desk is in rough shape. She just arrived here in a cab and it's pretty obvious that she just threw on whatever clothes were within reach to make the trip.
     
    "I need a room," she sobs.
     
    Jen doesn't ask what's wrong; she's been here longer than me and has probably seen it all. We wait awkwardly for the woman to compose herself a little more before requesting an ID. She can't stop crying the whole time, even when another guest walks in.
     
    "Are you all right, ma'am?" I ask.
     
    She shakes her head. "My husband just beat me up," she says breathlessly.
     
    I hesitate. I feel a little sick inside. I know this stuff happens every day, but never to anybody I know--or does it? I guess you can't be sure. Some women disguise it really well.
     
    Not this one, though. None of that "I walked into a door" crap from her. The only marks visible on her are on her arms where his fingers bruised her, and you have to look close. If she just rolled up her sleeves and didn't cry, no one would be the wiser. But she's not trying to hide anything; in fact she just told the truth to perfect strangers, so maybe that's a good thing. She's not resigned to being hurt. She doesn't blame herself.
     
    I ask her a few questions while Jen checks her in. We rarely take cash but this is an exception. Yes, she's called the police on him. Yes, he gets drunk and angry and then goes after her. Yes, she has kids but they're staying with their grandmother.
     
    There are still a few minutes before my shift starts and she doesn't know how to use the key card. I open the door to her room and let her in. She flops on the bed, exhausted and miserable. So now what? All my life I've had chances to help others but I don't take them. I'm afraid of people, even people as afraid as I am.
     

     
    "Sit up for me," I say. She does. I sit down next to her and just hold her for a while. She melts and cries in my arms. "It's okay. I've got you. It's going to be okay." Like I would know. "I'm probably not the first person to ask you this, but how many more times do you want this to happen?"
     
    "Never," the woman says. "I hate him. He's put me in the hospital."
     
    She asks me my name and I tell her. "Relax, get a good night's sleep," I say. "Then decide what you're going to do next."
     
    I can't imagine what I would do in her position. She thanks me and I leave. It all took less than ten minutes, but it stays with me. Maybe her life will change for the better after this, maybe not. But it taught me something: that I am still capable of really caring for someone else. I was having doubts after spending so much time alone.
     
    "I'm glad you talked to her," Jen remarks back at the desk. "You're a whole lot more compassionate than I would be, Nathan."
     
    Me? Compassionate? I don't even like people. If they knew what a lean mixture I was running on some days, I doubt they'd want to be around me either. But I guess things could be worse. I could be some asshole who gets hammered and beats his wife. Or I could be running off, bruised and freezing in the middle of the night, to nothing but the kindness of strangers.
     
    Are you there, God? Can you give her the help you didn't give me?
  14. TailsIsNotAlone
    Hey everypony. Don't expect too much out of this blog because I'M KINDA DRUNK
     
    Just watching the MST3K'd version of Manos The Hands of Fate and drinking some grape juice. With vodka, and gin, and some Sprite. Pretty neat mix.
     
    DID YOU KNOW that nobody really likes gin by itself? It's too strong. Tastes almost medicinal. Put something else in with it. I really should try a Rainbow Dash mixed drink. It's supposed to be vodka, gin and triple sec--with blue kaokao. That's the only ingredient I'm missing.
     
    Would you be offended if I said ponies are sometimes hot? Maybe. Oh well. They are.
     
    I LOVE YOU. Just wanted you to know that before I sober up. I wish my opinions were so popular. But I just can't like Twilicorn or humanized ponies. Or ponies with navels. Why do they need belly buttons? Seems silly to me. I'll even ask Rainbow Dash. Hey Dashie, do you need a navel to be adorable?
    .......

     
    See, told ya.
     
    Hee hee, too much alky. I'm getting sleepy.
     
    Time to drift off watching some MST3k with...Nightmare Moon?! LOL. Love that picture at the top, it will be my desktop forever.
     
    Good night/drinking!
  15. TailsIsNotAlone
    Greetings everyone, this is Tails the Lyra fan and occasional grammar Nazi. I am taking five minutes out of my day to teach you a spelling lesson that will last a lifetime, because I care and I don't want us to look foalish anymore. Ready? Here it is.
     
     
     
    can·on
    noun
    1.
    an ecclesiastical rule or law enacted by a council or other competent authority and, in the Roman Catholic Church, approved by the pope.
    2.
    the body of ecclesiastical law.
    3.
    the body of rules, principles, or standards accepted as axiomatic and universally binding in a field of study or art: the neoclassical canon.
     
     
    can·non
    noun, plural can·nons ( especially collectively ) can·non, verb noun
    1.
    a mounted gun for firing heavy projectiles; a gun, howitzer, or mortar.
    2.
    British Machinery , quill ( def 10 ) .
    3.
    Armor. a cylindrical or semicylindrical piece of plate armor for the upper arm or forearm; a vambrace or rerebrace.
     
     
    There. Five minutes on Websters.com clears up a mistake about 50% of bronies have been making for years. The events and rules of the show are canon. The only cannon on My Little Pony, however, is Pinkie Pie's party cannon. Got it? I don't want to read the term "headcannon" ever again, unless you have one of these.
     

     
    As you were, fillies and gentlecolts.
  16. TailsIsNotAlone
    First and foremost, if you are new here, welcome welcome welcome! It's wonderful to see more My Little Pony fans joining every day, even better when they stick around and add their energy to the forums. I hope it lasts forever.
     
    With that said, here's some helpful advice from a more experienced member: 5 things all new members should know about MLP Forums!
     
    1. The character limit is a good thing.
    It may seem annoying at first, but we're not texting here. The limit is there to encourage discussion and discourage comments that don't add anything constructive to a topic, like "I agree," "k thx," "lolwut" and "tl;dr." Complaining about the character limit makes a poor first impression.
     
    2. RP-posting is not original.
    You know the kind of thing I mean: introducing yourself as your OC pony. Stuff like HI IM CRIMSON DEATHSNORT THE ALICORN GOD OF PONY DEATH. I TAKE PONIES TO TARTARUS AND IVE DATED LUNA. WORSHIP ME & I MAY SPAR UR LIVES! It's been done, many times. We'd rather get to know the real you.
     
    3. Greet other newbs!
    Don't be shy about welcoming someone else to a place you've just arrived at. It's a great show of solidarity and friendship, and that's what My Little Pony is all about! And don't be afraid to explore the board either. Try every section. You'll definitely find something you like.
     
    4. Post for respect, not attention.
    Gimmicks won't do much for you on MLP Forums. Let's face it, they're not very interesting and we've seen 'em all. The all caps/bold/italics, typing in dialect ('ah sure am happy to be meetin y'all'), squicky avatars etc, the guy who's been on too many Youtube comment pages and can't go 3 posts without talking about *insert controversial topic here.* We have a sense of humor (esp. in Cloudsdale Commons) but the important thing is what you actually have to say. That's why smart cookies like Kyronea can take a topic to the next level with one post, but a one-sentence joke or meme is forgotten in minutes.
     
    5. This is not just another board.
    It's better. Better organized, better atmosphere, better contributions. And that's the most important point. I've been on a lot of forums and many were kind of cynical or shallow, with too many trolls or members constantly bickering. Don't worry, this place is different. We are a welcoming and accepting community. Liking MLP doesn't just put us in the same place; it draws us all closer together. We really read what you say. Take the things you learned from the show and let them be your guide, and you will make friends here! Don't be afraid to tell us your stories and express an honest opinion.
     
    And that's all the advice I have for our new joiners, at least while sober. Welcome and pony on!
  17. TailsIsNotAlone
    Greetings, everyone. I just wanted to tell you a few interesting stories I have dug up about retail history. I've done some work in the field, but only in the past year have I begun to understand what a simple store can reveal about a community, and the stories it can tell--even after it's gone.
     
    Take shopping malls, for example. When I was growing up we went to Maplewood Mall, a vibrant and healthy shopping center that's still going strong. Back then I thought malls were these big, unstoppable superstores that would never go away. But now I know better.
     
    (Made by me on Youtube:)
    http://www.youtu.be/Cwwz4pAnL24
     
    Since the 1970s, and especially the 90s and 2000s, malls have been closing down all over the U.S. Many lose their anchor stores (like Sears or Dillard's) and starve from lack of business. Others can't compete with other malls that are newer, bigger or more conveniently located. Some lose all their traffic because of rising crime rates and their communities changing around them (the famous Dixie Square Mall in IL and the subject of my video). And still others just never should have been built (Forest Fair Mall in Cincinnati).
     
    On top of all that, there is the growing shadow of Internet merchants and big-box stores like Wal-Mart and Costco that have sprung up all over the country and cut into their profits.
     
    Public shopping centers go as far back as ancient Rome with Trajan's Forum. The first enclosed mall ever built in the U.S. was Rhode Island's Westminster Arcade in 1828, but they did not become common here until the 1950s and 60s, thanks to the visions of Austrian-born architect Victor Gruen. Gruen originally wanted malls to be not only shopping centers, but community centers complete with residential areas, medical facilities, and schools. He believed they would centralize towns and cities and change civilization for the better.
     
    In fact, his most celebrated creation was built here in Minnesota: the Southdale Center in Edina. It was the first mall to be fully enclosed and climate-controlled, and thousands of similar malls were soon constructed all over the nation.
     
    "Fifty years ago," wrote Malcolm Gladwell in a 2004 article for The New Yorker, "Victor Gruen designed a fully enclosed, introverted, multitiered, double-anchor-tenant shopping complex with a garden court under a skylight—and today virtually every regional shopping center in America is a fully enclosed, introverted, multitiered, double-anchor-tenant complex with a garden court under a skylight. Victor Gruen didn’t design a building; he designed an archetype."
     
    However, the grandest elements of Gruen's vision were never to be.
     
    "He didn’t appreciate that it made a lot more sense, for his client, to save civilization at a hundred and fifty thousand square feet than at six hundred thousand square feet. The lesson of America was that the grandest of visions could be derailed by the most banal of details, like the size of the retail footprint, or whether Congress set the depreciation allowance at forty years or twenty years.
    When, late in life, Gruen came to realize this, it was a powerfully disillusioning experience. He revisited one of his old shopping centers, and saw all the sprawling development around it, and pronounced himself in “severe emotional shock.” Malls, he said, had been disfigured by “the ugliness and discomfort of the land-wasting seas of parking” around them. Developers were interested only in profit. “I refuse to pay alimony for those bastard developments,” he said in a speech in London, in 1978."
     
    http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2004/03/15/040315fa_fact1
     
    The Southdale Center still stands today, but as the retail climate changed in the 21st century, many of its successors have not been so lucky. Some malls have quietly died and been revamped as libraries, schools or storehouses. Others have sat empty and abandoned for years, like Dixie Square, or been quickly demolished as smaller strip malls and open-air shopping centers take their place.
     
    But they all have a story to tell, and I believe these stories are worth remembering. You can read them at http://deadmalls.com by people who shopped there and grew up in the region.
     
    In some places, malls were criticized as invaders, profit machines bereft of culture that were an eyesore in their cities and choked the life out of the downtown areas. But in the long run, these places were just another stage of the country's economic development. Now the malls themselves are slowly but surely being phased out. Today I look at the nasty urban sprawl that is taking their place, jump-started by national chain stores racing to keep up with 'white flight' and the country's unstable demographics. They have fled the shopping centers and instead are camping out all over the highways and the outskirts of our cities--"smearing their logo feces all over the landscape," as George Carlin once said.
     
    Today I see that sorry display and wonder, "Is this any better? Maybe it's worse."
     
    Thanks for reading.
     
    And any TL;DR comments will be deleted with extreme prejudice. Cheers!
  18. TailsIsNotAlone

    Flutterrage

    By TailsIsNotAlone,

    I fooled ya, it's not about Fluttershy. But stick around, this is important. You know what makes life really great, besides ponies? Sitting down with a nice stiff drink and ranting on things that piss you off. (Purple Jesus: 40% grape juice, 40% ginger ale, 20% vodka. Highly recommended for bronies of age.) But on to the topic: this is a list of popular words, phrases or trends that need to go the fuck away.
     
    1. "Man Cave"
    Needs to die ASAP. Not cool, not funny, and no man with any dignity EVER calls his favorite room in the house a "man cave." You only hear this phrase from two sources: television, and women who are making fun of us. If you're lucky though, you have a place where you can go for peace and quiet. But nobody has a man cave.
     
    2. "lolwut"
    Is there any texting/Internet phrase that is lazier and less constructive than lolwut? lol is a cliche, wut is terrible spelling; it's a lazy response. If lolwut is all you can think of to say, you're better off not saying anything.
     
    3. "Gangam/Gangnam/Gunghan/whateverthefuck Style"
    I had no idea what this term meant at first. Now I know it is a very goofy-looking dance. And one of many that you probably can't do. STOP TALKING ABOUT IT
     
    4. "waifufaggotry"
    Faggot is a derogatory term for gays. If you're a male brony who wants to marry Fluttershy, the term "faggotry" does not belong in your vocabulary. Pony or not, she's still a girl.
     
    5. M.O.V. threads
    No, I don't mean the .mov videos. This MOV stands for "My Own Version" and it means "I'm going to make my own version of this thread that's already been made 10 times before. Like "is anyone leaving cuz of Twilicorn" or "why is there clop in my image search." The same threads, just by different users, constantly respawning like enemy soldiers in a bad FPS. There's a search function at the top of the page, seriously right there, where you can search for threads similar to your own and just bump one of them to post your comments. No harm done, the mods encourage it.
     
    Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to retreat to my mancave to post my very own thread about why Rainbow Dash is my waifu and we're dancing GooGooGaJoob style, so someone can say lolwut. And maybe get more loaded. Cheers.
  19. TailsIsNotAlone
    Psych. It's been a while since I posted a serious blog and I think the time is right. ^^
     
    When is a house no longer a home? I guess that's different for everybody--my house is a tiny apartment, for example. Maybe it's when you have new neighbors who make too much noise. Maybe it's when you look outside and realize most of the people you knew around here have moved away. Or maybe it's when you just can't afford to live there anymore. -_-
     
    I was so desperate to get out of my old job that I quit before I found a new one. Full-time work has eluded me since then, and the only thing between me and the curb was the generosity of my family. Fortunately they came through; my brother is letting me stay with him for a while, so on Sunday I'm moving back to St. Paul. I've already found a job there, so things are looking up!
     

     
    I had it pretty good for a while holed up in Rochester, just me and the ponies. If things hadn't happened this way, I may never have discovered the show. But now I'm off to start a new chapter of my life. My brother doesn't even know I'm a brony. I imagine I'll have to tell him. I guess we'll see how it goes!
     
    But rest assured I will still be here to worship Lyra, post cute pony pictures and criticize Twilicorn.
     
    I can't think of anything more to say, so here's a picture of Quinn angering Daria.

  20. TailsIsNotAlone
    I came to this realization while answering a question from Firebolt about why I don't like Magic Duel, so thanks Bolty. I thought it was worth mentioning to everyone else and it's as good a reason as any for which eps of S3 are my least favorite--and why it's been my least favorite season overall.
     
    In retrospect, I think Season 3 was all over the place--not just its quality, but the tone of its episodes and how much attention it paid to the bronies as opposed to the kids. The show balanced that out pretty well in Season 1 and even better in 2, but not so much in 3. To me, the two extremes of S3 are represented by the finale and Magic Duel.
     

    On one side you have Magical Mystery Cure. It seems to have been written in an alternate universe where MLP has only a child audience, with no expectation that anyone over the age of 10 would ever watch it. An overly simplified show, stereotypically "kiddy" in a way MLP was never supposed to be.
     

    And at the opposite extreme, you have Magic Duel: an episode that was all too aware of its adult viewers. Everything from Twilight's "padawan" role with Zecora to Fluttershy almost literally being a tree to Rule 63 and age change references felt like an exaggerated wink-and-nudge to the bronies.
     
    There were some similarities. I thought both episodes had poor organization and lackluster writing, but the point of this is: basically, they went so far in their respective directions that they totally lost me. And Sleepless in Ponyville did the best job of balancing the innocent (not childish) spirit of the show with what the bronies wanted, and was my favorite of the season. It all makes more sense now!
     
    What do you think?
  21. TailsIsNotAlone
    PSYCH.
    Yeah, you know I'm not that guy.
    But I have a point here. Why do we keep seeing discussions like this?
     
    Being a brony is the best thing that's ever happened to many of us. It started a new chapter of my life, a much happier one. There's not one of us here that doesn't enjoy being a part of all this, watching the show and seeing the work it's inspired (whether Hasbro likes it or not xD).
     
    So why the constant rumor-mongering and debates about stuff that hasn't happened yet? Why repeat every negative thing people say about us? We're fans, not tabloid journalists. One of the reasons Lauren Faust created My Little Pony was to transcend that kind of cynicism.
     
    Have we? And if we fail to do so as fans, how much are we really appreciating the show and its message?
     
    Something to chew on.

  22. TailsIsNotAlone
    A Case for Octavia and Lyra in the Magic Bowl
     
    You probably know about the Most Attractive Pony Tournament by now. If you don't, the name speaks for itself. You go in and vote for the ponies you find most attractive until only two are left, and those two square off in the 'Magic Bowl.'
     
    Well, this week the voters decide which ponies get there, and the matchups are Lyra Heartstrings vs. Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy vs. Octavia. Does your mind automatically say "well, Twilight of course!" Is your eye immediately drawn to Fluttershy? I don't blame you. They're two of the cutest and more popular ponies on the show after all! But before you make your final decision: here's some food for thought, quoted from the tournament thread itself.
     
    We aren't alone in wanting to shake things up on this board; I knew that from the beginning. I for one would love to see two background ponies in the Magic Bowl. If there's any way to show how far we've come as a fandom in such a short time, that would be it. No longer depending on the show's main characters, but seeing beauty and life in ponies who have only moments of screen time to their name.
    -ME
     
    You know it's funny. I've been hoping for Lyra vs Octavia final round pretty much as soon as the brackets were made and now it's pretty close to happening.
    -COTA
     
    I reckon that if Twilight wins against Lyra, Octavia's going to get demolished due to a condition I have dubbed "Mane 6 appeal". It will be much more interesting to see the background ponies at each others' throats than watch Octavia get slam dunked in my opinion.
    RALLY TO THE CAUSE, BACKGROUND PONY FANS! TOGETHER WE CAN PUSH BACK THE MANE 6 MENACE AND CREATE A BATTLE THAT WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY!
    -ARCHI
     
    Many of us are starting to think a little differently. Yes, it is about voting for the ponies we find most attractive, and maybe you haven't looked at Lyra or Octavia that much before. But now is a good time to start. Because if you can see in them what we see--the cuteness, the adorable designs and color schemes, the rich personalities that the show didn't even have to create for us...
     
    ...You can also move this board toward a unique and unforgettable moment. Octavia and Lyra have made it this far because enough of us started to think outside the 6-sided box. And it's not hard to get there. Tell me these two ponies aren't the most beautiful!
     
    Lyra tries to break Octy's hi-score. o_O
    It's just not the same if one of them is left out.
     
    This moment, Octavia vs. Lyra, is possible. And by voting for them, you can make it happen.
    http://www.mlpforums.com/topic/44455-the-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013-conference-championships/
     
    Thank you for reading. ^^
    -Tails
  23. TailsIsNotAlone
    Alfonzo's Most Attractive Pony Tournament continues with the Magic Bowl. Vote here! http://mlpforums.com/topic/44455-the-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013-conference-championships/
    And check out last week's Wildcard results here.
    http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2609-full-wild-card-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
    Next week's Conference Title results are here!
    http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2910-full-conference-championship-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
     
    Wardrobe Malfunction
    Dozens of bronies rushed to see the most high-profile matchup of the week. For the first time, one Mane 6 met another in the playoffs, and the game did not disappoint. The most fashionable mare in Equestria came in with confidence, strong fan support and a great deal of momentum. But as Fluttershy proved this week, kindness is never out of fashion.
    “Oh, I…I, um, I didn’t really do much,” the pink-haired Pegasus whispered into the microphone. “I mean, I think Rarity is much prettier than I am. But, um, thank you very much…eep!” She caught sight of the camera and retreated into her cottage, ending the interview.

    Some things never change.
     
    But Fluttershy was anything but passive in the polls, which tied up and switched sides repeatedly before finally shifting in her favor. Rarity held on for days, but eventually a win was out of reach, sending her back to Carousel Boutique for the season.
    The exquisite pony was gracious in defeat. “I am very happy for Fluttershy, darlings! …Very happy. We all know a natural beauty when we see one, don’t we? Yes, of course. She deserved to win. And I do have work to do on the next spring fashions, you know!”

    This fashionista will no doubt remain a showstopper in next year’s tournament.
     
    Though she shrugged off the loss to reporters, Rarity seemed reluctant to depart, sitting silently with a few of the animals and a small dragon long after the sun had set on the meadow.
    FLUTTERSHY, 106-90
     
     
    Octavia Fiddles, Spitfire Burns
    There was more than one upset in the Divisional round. As the most popular mare in the Wonderbolts and head trainer in their prestigious academy, Spitfire soared to the number one seed in the Pony Friendship Conference. But as she learned this week, dive-bombing the weakest division in Equestria and succeeding in the playoffs are two different things.

    Spitfire’s loss leaves Fluttershy as the only Pegasus in the playoffs.
     
    The Pegasus’ dazzling regular season and Octavia’s hard-fought wild card berth led some to underestimate the beautiful musician. But when a close fight in the first few days developed into a steady lead for the underpony, all doubts of her competence were erased.

    After two eye-opening wins, this pony has earned her rest.
     
    Octavia was as calm and composed as ever following the battle. “I am pleased that my appearances are so appreciated by so many. I was looking forward to facing my old rival Rarity once more, but I see that won’t be possible. Whatever the case, I do not intend for next week to be my final performance.”
    Oddly enough, Octavia was taken home from Cloudsdale in a hot air balloon by none other than Twilight Sparkle, one of her potential opponents should she reach the Magic Bowl.
    “What happens, happens. You can’t win ‘em all, you know?” Spitfire said quietly. “Can’t let it get you down.”
    With that she marched briskly back into the Wonderbolts Academy, barking out orders in a very different voice.
    OCTAVIA, 107-89
     
     
    Twilight Gets ‘A’ for Attractive
    “Dear Princess Celestia,” Twilight dictated to Spike following the game, “This week I learned a very valuable lesson about friendship. I learned that—”
    “ ‘Humans like to stare at my plot?’ ” muttered her dragon assistant.
    “What was that?!”
    “Um, nothing!”
    It may have sounded like just another day at the Ponyville Library, but the fanfare outside made it anything but. Ponies from all over town gathered for a grade-A Pinkie Pie party to celebrate the Element of Magic’s win.

    In Twilight’s case, attractiveness was magic.
     
    A matchup that looked difficult for top DJ Vinyl Scratch turned out to be exactly that. Scratch never stopped the music, but Princess Celestia’s number-one student reeled in nearly twice as many votes to secure the most comfortable victory of the week. She goes on to face unlikely contender Lyra Heartstrings in the EFC Championship.

    ‘DJPon3’ is eliminated but not forgotten.
     
    “I’ll talk to you later, okay guys?” an exhausted Scratch said, finally putting down her headphones. “I’ve got a killer headache.”
    TWILIGHT, 125-71
     
     
     
    The Last Round-Up

    Applejack bids her fans goodbye—for now.
     
    It was eerily similar to last week. The stage was all set for a home victory at Sweet Apple Acres. All the luminaries from Feld0 on down came out to vote for Applejack, along with a legion of her fans. Pictures were fired off like bullets, jokes were made, and words of doubt and disbelief were flung at the unlikely challenger.
    But when the dust settled, Lyra walked out with another victory. The race was close and intense, every bit the knock-down drag-out fight as the game with Dash. The brilliant unicorn overcame an initial rush from AJ and rode a slim lead for three days. Applejack finally caught up and overtook her by three votes on Sunday, but Lyra stormed back to cement an impressive win.
    When the Most Attractive Pony Tournament began, few bronies even considered Lyra Heartstrings to be a real contender. Those who did saw her stuck in a division dominated by Twilight Sparkle and likely to be warming the bench, no pun intended.

    The Minty One’s unbelievable quest continues.
     
    A lot can happen in two weeks. Carried by a massive outpouring of fan support, the background pony has upset two of the Mane 6 in two weeks and turned the playoff scene upside down on her way to the EFC Championship.
    “I can’t believe this is happening,” the unicorn gushed in a post-game interview. “That settles it. I’m going to the human world so I can meet all these people who are voting for me! I just have to find out how. Maybe Twilight will have some ideas! Hee hee!”
    “Don’t be feeling sorry for me, you hear?” Applejack said after the loss. “I’m not one to cry over spilled cider. I’ll just work harder next season. And speaking of cider…gather round, everypony! A toast to the audience!”
    The game was lost, but the Apple family still has plenty to celebrate.
    LYRA, 105-91
  24. TailsIsNotAlone
    ~What's with~ ~everypony~ ~putting weird symbols~ around their names and/or calling themselves ~Chaotic Somebody~? It was cool when Harmony and Discord were doing it, now it's just getting old.
     
    Yep, that about sums it up really. I would expect it on another board but it just looks silly here. Reminds me of an old (bad) forum I was on when everybody became obsessed with the word "ocelet."
  25. TailsIsNotAlone
    Well, I guess you can just look at the title and see the correct way. But yeah. Why can't anyone spell this word? It's not "defintly," it's not "defiantly," it's not "defnitley." I should also point out the difference between these two words because they are mixed up all the time:
     
    Definite / definitely: for sure, certain, without a doubt. (pronounced DEF-in-it-ly)
    Defiant / defiantly: stubborn, rebellious, uncooperative. (pronounced dee-FY-ant-ly)
     
    I don't usually quibble over this stuff but there you go.
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