Kyoshi

Sometimes I can present myself as extremely serious and straight to the point as, I try to have people understand what I am trying to say. I can be entirely emotionless if I want to be, but I can also be extremely warm if I also want to be.

You do deserve friends, you do deserve happiness, you do deserve all those things. Don't let your depression, etc tell you any different. It's your life, so why not take the reigns, grab life by the balls and do the best you can to be happy? The alternative isn't worth it. It's not worth it to wrap one's self in misery, why not joy instead? Or at least, try to strive for that?

Your words and how you present yourself is how people will see you as, at the first glance. I'm not entirely sure what our 'relationship is', however, I hope that I can help in some capacity. @Kyoshi

I am not as down as one might think. Online is of course all one can see and thus one see's me rambling about whatever often. Me as a person, I do try my best to enjoy life for what it is, I try to enjoy the simple things. Still, the future scares me immensely. Feels like as time goes on my anxiety is getting worse and truly I am not sure what to do about any of that. Just want to feel joy about whatever, but these things can easily impede it all. I still try, for whatever it is worth and my life as a whole is extremely limited. Even being only 28 now, I often feel like time is not on my side, like that innate fear but amplified and happening far too early. That's how far my anxiety reaches.

I wish I could explain it all better. My mind is often like a battlefield that lets up, then continues with chaos and stops again.

Also I apologize for turning this happy birthday wish into a thing. Just want to give context and perspective about me, though I am not the best at explaining.