Kyoshi

Why are you putting simplistic in the same category as stupid? There's so many productive things that you can do in 24h almost any day. If you don't feel like it it's your problem, you'll feel like it once you start doing something. I don't ask from you to be optimistic or happy or whatever... That doesn't have to make the day pointless.

Nothing I do even matters. What's the point if I just waste everyone's time and fuck up constantly? In that case all I do is get in the way. I should leave the shit that I do to the people that can actually do it, people that aren't complete fuck ups like me. That is just the tip of all the things that makes my existence completely and utterly futile.

I am just having a bad start to what's going to be a bad day. I know everyone says 'well with that attitude...' Attitude doesn't have much power. They also say do this and do that when most things nowadays don't give my happiness any kind of stimulation because of different factors, mainly just shit going on in my brain. I am always worried about something or hating myself or fearing the future or this and that and it is all fucked and stupid, I wish I could stop it but I...