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Thinking of leaving this place for good.
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Have you considered seeing a shrink or a therapist? Xanax or antidepressants could help you take the next step to self improvement, if not at least make life with depression and anxiety a bit easier. Personally, I stopped taking SSRIs after a while, but getting a job and a steady source of personal income has helped me overcome a lot of insecurities and I couldn't have done that without medication.
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