Dimitri Hammer

Dimitri didn't understand what was going on. It seemed like a fight loomed, and he wasn't involved in it. He took this time to concentrate and hopefully clear his head from all these invasive dark thoughts. He decided to just stand by Acheron. If he went crazy he was sure Acheron could probably keep him contained. Though, he'd probably hold back from hurting anyone with the full force of his being.

"Something to kill? Finally, maybe crushing bone will clear my head." Dimitri somewhat jokingly said. He didn't understand other cultures. He didn't even understand the culture of Equestria still, but he didn't care. He just felt like a fight would probably feel good. His judgement was off, and anyone would do. Just needed a skull to obliterate under his hoof.

Dimitri nodded at Acheron. "I'll get my head together then...feel like I going crazy. The more we make progress, the more sane I stay," He feigned a laugh. He knew that he was starting to stray mentally again. If they didn't get going soon he was sure he'd give in to his darker side. It was sounding more reasonable by the minute. It did help him once before, he found her with the power. It was just too evil for him...

"I don't know how much longer I can hold out..." Dimitri whispered to himself as he paced around the room. 'I know that it's not right to be mad at my friends, but being mad at myself is perfectly fine...I'm such an idiot..." he rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Is this storm still occuring?"

That fluffy mass of...fluff..is so adorables. Especially with Fluttershy's tail right there too X3 100/10 Was something else. Another avatar. Peoples seems to like the one I have now better than another it seems.

9/10 *Sigh* Yeah it seems like everyone does...

8/10

15/10 Is so fluffy

"Rage consumes the mind..." Dimitri quietly said to Acheron. "No magic can contain the pure emotion of anger. Is something you can't play with. I know you have a..lust...for knowledge and you know some dark magics, but you don't know rage. Sure it helps to acomplish our goal, but at what cost? Losing our minds? You can't contain rage like that. Is an unstable emotion. I've succumbed to it before...." Dimitri looked at the ceiling. "You can't force it to serve you. I don't tap into my magic because a part of me wants to become corrupted by it. I want the power. I want to be able to destroy and obliterate all that opposes me. I want to burn everything that threatens my motives, but the real me doesn't want that. Rage consumes the mind." He said trembling. "Is that what you really think of us? I'm just a aid to you. I have helped you find her before. You were just too weak to let your real thoughts emerge. I'm not evil. I'm just a means to an end...She'll suffer because you're too weak." The voice came up in Dimitri's mind again. He shook his head and put his hooves to his ears. "No, no, no..." He said aloud to himself. The room got darker.

I'm happy, and I know I feel happy and I'm loving my life. Yet I miss the past. I can't cope with loss and I can't seem to stay happy. I always revert to sadness and anger towards myself. I seem to push people away very often, and I feel so awful when I do it. I'm doing better now though. Seeing someone to help me and my brother and one true friend are very kind to stick by me and help me. Depression has run in my family for a while. My father had it, my great grandfather had it, and my mother has it. I'd like to live like how my grandfather Sergei lived. He lost his friends in both world wars, and he retained his happiness. He always cried when he talked about his friends and the concentration camps, but he always told me that I should never give up in life. I shouldn't let it get the better of me. I let it get the better of me when my wife passed away. I'll never forget her, and I'll never lose the sadness I have in that moment when she died in my arms. But I have to be optimistic. I have to beat my depression. I think I have too. I feel much better after talking it out with close friends and family. I feel better. I just got needy and obsessive about people and friends because I can't handle losing anyone. I don't like it because it reminds me of the pain I felt when I lost my wife. Is hard to explain and understand especially if you have never lost anyone you love more than life itself. I was willing to die for my wife. Willing to do anything for her, and losing her destroyed me. It all broke apart and I became sullen and angry. Did things I regret. I came out of two years of anger, and then became depressive. I found happiness in 2012 for the first time though, and then I started to recede into depression again. I feel better now though. I feel fantastic and I can't find a reason to be sad anymore. Only one thing is keeping me sad that is happening in 2013 and I'm hoping to resolve that soon But for right now, I'm feeling good. I've come to terms with my wife's untimely passing. I'll never lose the sadness for that moment and I'll never forget her, but I will move on and understand she's still looking over me. She wouldn't want me to kill myself or be depressed. My grandfather loved me and he wouldn't want that either. I am feeling good. I am starting to lose the obsessive nature I had. I just need to fix two things and I'll be really happy. Dammit I'm happy! Stopped smoking, cut back on my drinking and I'm becoming a godfather too! One of my friends is having another child. Just need to fix two things! TWO THINGS! Then I'll really be happy. I love this place. You all are really great, and some of you helped me through my depression. Well I'd like to thank those of you who have helped me. Now, I must finish my small glass of scotch and listen to Fluttershy

I put one of those bottles of scotch I found to good use. 1963 was a damn good year! Nice vintage I'd say....being drunk is fun I guess...

10/10 Rainbow is adorable there And thank you :3