DerpyFanatic

It helps if you think of grass as a raw food at the most basic level. My Little Ponies eating grass straight off the ground would be like humans eating insects: it's physiologically sound (insects are a good source of protein), but not considered to be socially normal. If a pony were to eat raw grass, there would have to be exceptional reasons for doing so, as touched on in this thread: they may be desperately poor and starving (in which case Celestia and Luna need a stern talking-to about social welfare), or they could be lost and trying to survive. Every time we see ponies eating grass-based foodstuffs, it's in some heavily processed form and combined with animal products, eg. hay burgers, hay fries, oat smoothies, vanilla oat swirl icecream. To answer the OP: My Little Ponies definitely do not eat grass, at least not in the sense that we expect equines to do.

This episode only serves to reinforce my belief that Luna is indeed best princess. Am I the only one who thought of Giant!Derpy as a possible nod to the SDCC 2012 Derpy toy(which I happen to have)?

Yeah, broham, I know exactly how you feel. I was freaking out as much as anypony who loves best pony.

You ponies like my new userpic? I cropped it from the episode via VLC Player.

DERPY. SPEAKS. *freaks out* I <3 Tabitha St. Germain forever. When this episode was announced months ago, I figured Derpy's new voice would be somewhere between the original and the revised Last Roundup voices, and it appears that I was correct. She doesn't sound full-on "hurr durr", but there's just enough derp left in to let you know that, yes, this is still the klutzy, goofy mailmare we know and love. Lyra + Bon Bon is canon AND I LOVE IT. I've always had a spot in my heart for Lyra. Luna is still best alicorn. Time Turner is best Doctor.

Wow. I left this thread thinking it had run its course, then come back to find it's blown up! OK, let's start from here. If we can pin down roughly when the Crystal Empire was founded, we can then sketch out a natural extrapolation of how long it took for Celestia and Luna to get their cutie marks (which would seem an awfully long time for anypony to get their mark, even an alicorn). Second point: we don't know how long unicorns live. Because they're overtly magical beings, I'd bet even Hasbro would be willing to give them a pass in terms of lifespan. It's pretty much taken for granted that alicorns are immortal; making unicorns obscenely long-lived wouldn't be too much of a stretch. Even during the Dream Valley climate crisis, you wouldn't see an awful lot of unicorns dying unless they starved or froze to death.

I've long given up giving a screaming blue pegasus buck what people think of my interests. I go into Toyworld, get what I want, pay and go. If anyone ever gives me grief (they haven't), they're just going to get an annoyed look and a "I like ponies, what's your problem?".

This is exactly what I haven't figured out yet.

But what about Megan from G1? If humans are canon, logically one could see Rescue at Midnight Castle as the official first contact, but it happened so long ago that most ponies see it as a myth, which is why Twilight didn't recognize humans when she saw them (or became one herself). The exodus from Dream Valley would mean leaving the portal to Earth behind along with everything else and not finding another one until Sunset Shimmer went rogue in the Third Era.

Hmmm, okay. Maybe I could add another two centuries to Granny's birth and Ponyville's founding? Still, though, I'm tempted to either give Starswirl a later birth date or shove him into a time warp or something. Let's say I moved his birth year up to 3200 TA, that would make him 135 years old at the time of the Tribal Summit. However, that would require explaining why he simply wasn't there to advise Princess Platinum or even sort out the windigoes himself. Either he was off somewhere doing something completely unrelated and didn't know about the climate shift in Dream Valley, or (more likely) he had died some time prior to the Neopony Period, leaving Clover to carry on his legacy and research while serving as Princess Platinum's grand vizier. LOL. In any case, Equestrian ponies seem to be remarkably long-lived. I'll happily leave the third era dates where they are now, unless someone else comes up with something better.

Do you have a source for this? It would help me get an idea of how long Equestrian ponies can potentially live.

How could I neglect best pony? Damn, I just noticed that. I based the ages on my belief that Twi is the youngest of the bunch, but now I can see the discrepancies involved there. Maybe Dash and Flutters are the same age, then? Twilight and Pinkie can share the same birth year. The problem with resolving that is the fact that Clover the Clever claimed to be Starswirl's protegée. However, the Hearth's Warming pageant doesn't explain the absence of Celestia and Luna (it is explicitly stated that the Unicorn Empire controlled the sun and moon), which raises the possibility that Tirek and Scorpan visited Equestria before it was settled by the Dream Valley refugees. How Starswirl got involved would be a matter of pure conjecture at this point. Of course, you could always handwave it with things like magical stasis or pocket dimensions. I appreciate your input. The more people have to add to this thread, the more detailed and accurate the timeline can be. Reddit disagrees with that assertion: http://www.reddit.com/r/mylittlepony/comments/1ro4qq/timeline_of_mlpfim/

Twilight makes a lot of references to pony history in the show, and since G1 is now canonically linked to G4 thanks to Tirek, I figured it would make drawing up a timeline of Equestrian and pre-Equestrian history a lot easier. This post is subject to change as new information is added, although some parts of it are based on my own theories and may not necessarily be canon (though hopefully it can still serve as a handy aide de memoire for fanfic writers). I'm also using Elder Scrolls chronology as a guide to keeping everything sorted, because it works so well. And so, without further ado, I present to you... The History Of Ponykind Mythic Age Celestia and Luna are born. How they get their cutie marks is not known. This is basically equine prehistory. Ponies evolve, learn to use tools and get civilization up and running. Tribal Age (0 TA - 3400 TA) Palaeopony Period (0 TA - 1050 TA) 1: Dream Valley is colonized by a mix of pegasi, unicorns and earth ponies. 57: The events of Rescue At Midnight Castle occur. This is the first contact between humans and ponies that is often pointed to by modern ponies arguing for the existence of humans. 83: The Smooze incident occurs. 371: The first documented case of the Cutie Pox is observed on an earth pony agricultural estate. 650: The Unicorn Empire is founded under the Allotropic Dynasty. Imperial mages are tasked with regulating the day-night cycle in the absence of alicorns. 801: Earth pony farming and manufacturing communities across Dream Valley are united into the Dirt Pact, which ensures collective civil defence and trade regulation. 811: Pegasus city-states are united into the Stratospheric Republic. Mesopony Period (1051 TA - 2100 TA) 1260: Starswirl the Bearded is born. 1348: Clover the Clever is born. 1367: Clover the Clever begins magical tutelage under Starswirl the Bearded. 1986: Starswirl the Bearded disappears. Neopony Period (2101 TA - 3400 TA) 3321: The events depicted in the Hearth's Warming Eve pageant begin. Windigo activity causes a dramatic climate shift in Dream Valley. 3325: Dirt Pact farming communities attempt to pool their resources as crops begin to fail. 3332: Earth pony manufacturing grinds to a halt right across Dirt Pact territories due to lack of materiel. Ponies everywhere face mass starvation. Commander Hurricane stages a military coup, seizing control of the Stratospheric Republic and instituting martial law. 3335: The Tribal Summit between Commander Hurricane, Princess Platinum and Chancellor Puddinghead ends in failure. 3336: The Pegasus capital of Cumulus Colossae is forcibly evacuated as temperatures plummet to lethal levels. Earth pony factory cities are abandoned as freezing, starving earth ponies begin the exodus from Dream Valley. Clover the Clever draws up a plan for Unicorn resettlement. 3340: The last group of ponies leaves for greener pastures. Dream Valley and its environs are now completely uninhabitable. 3341: New land is discovered, but tribal warfare causes the windigoes to follow from Dream Valley. Clover the Clever, Private Pansy and Smart Cookie unite the tribes and drive the windigoes back. 3342: Equestria is founded. 3350: Discord arrives from another plane of existence. 3355: Equestrian leadership collapses under the strain of fighting Discord's chaotic powers. Offers of surrender are ignored as the draconequus turns the world upside down. Countless ponies are enslaved and tortured under his dark reign. 3380: Celestia and Luna return to the world and plans to defeat Discord are put in motion. 3390: All attempts to defeat, destroy or even contain Discord end in failure. An expedition to the wild Everfree Forest is chartered in the hopes of finding a natural power source. 3398: After years of chasing legends, rumours and theories, Celestia and Luna discover the Tree of Harmony and extract the Elements of Harmony. 3399: After much preparation and an epic battle, the Elements of Harmony are used to seal Discord away in stone. 3400: Celestia and Luna accept the invitation of the former unicorn-earth pony-pegasus government leaders to rule as an absolute dual monarchy. The Everfree Forest is partly cleared and construction begins on both Everfree City and the Castle of The Pony Sisters. The beginning of the First Celestial Era is declared. Alicorn Age First Era, aka Pre-Classical Era 1E 36: First contact with The Crystal Empire. 1E 123: First contact with the Griffon Kingdoms. 1E 521: First contact with the United Zebrican Tribes. 1E 632: Starswirl the Bearded reappears from the mysterious rift that swallowed him in 1986 TA, applies himself rigorously to magical research and becomes one of the greatest sorcerers of the Pre-Classical Era. 1E 700: The Sea Ponies mysteriously disappear. 1E 1300: Explorers making a return pilgrimage to Dream Valley report dragon settlements and the transformation of the region into a wasteland. 1E 1316: Starswirl the Bearded dies. Second Era, aka Classical Era 2E 2250: King Sombra seizes control of the Crystal Empire. 2E 2298: King Sombra is defeated. A fail-deadly system activates, causing the Empire and its inhabitants to vanish without a trace. 2E 2300: Princess Luna transforms into Nightmare Moon and triggers The Longest Night. Princess Celestia commandeers the Elements of Harmony and banishes her sister to the moon for 1000 years. Third Era, aka Post-Classical Era 3E 1: The Wonderbolts are founded. The ruined Everfree City is abandoned, which slowly reverts to the Everfree Forest. The newly-founded city of Canterlot becomes the new capital of Equestria. 3E 2: The first Summer Sun Celebration is held in Canterlot. 3E 723: Hoofington is founded. 3E 806: Manehattan is founded. 3E 899: Granny Smith is born in Hoofington. 3E 909: Ponyville is founded by the Apple family. 3E 911: Zap Apples are first discovered and the harvest ritual is mapped out. 3E 972: Fluttershy is born in Cloudsdale. Rarity is born in Ponyville. Rainbow Dash is born in Cloudsdale. Applejack is born in Ponyville. 3E 973: Pinkie Pie is born in Ponyville. Derpy Hooves is born in Cloudsdale. Twilight Sparkle is born in Canterlot. 3E 979: Rainbow Dash performs her first Sonic Rainboom. The Mane Six all get their cutie marks simultaneously. 3E 1001: Twilight Sparkle is sent to Ponyville, setting in motion the events that lead to the reactivation of the Elements of Harmony, the assignment of the Bearers and the defeat of Nightmare Moon. 3E 1007: The Crystal Empire reappears. Spike the Dragon recovers the Crystal Heart. 3E 1011: Twilight Sparkle becomes an alicorn. Fourth Era (Modern Era) 4E 1: The Elements of Harmony are sacrificed to revive the Tree Of Harmony. The Harmonic Lockbox is discovered. 4E 2: Tirek escapes from Tartarus and is defeated by Princess Twilight.

OMG I want a plushie so bad ;_; These arrived by registered mail yesterday from Toywiz: Lyra: "Eeeee! A human!"

On the subject of clopping, though, I think there's way too much rule 34. It makes me wish for a moratorium on new clop because there's just so much of it. Would it kill anypony to turn it down a little?

I brought it up because posters were doing their best to avoid it and saying "we should accept EVERYPONY no matter what". No matter what? Even if they're potential child molesters? Some of it is. Go and read Sweet Apple Massacre and THEN tell me there's no foal-fiddling involved. I'd like to share something with you, this was posted on the Brony Horror Stories tumblr: Is this behaviour OK to you? Because it isn't to me or to wider society.

So, you're going to accept bronies who do things like slut-shaming, beating off to kiddy porn and rape apology? I'm not OK with that. Love and tolerance does not mean turning a blind eye to unethical and criminal activity.

Those are the people who truly deserve to be shunned. If you want to clop, fine. If you like grimdark shit, hey, so do I, let's hang out. But if you're creeping on young girls, slut-shaming women you sexually assaulted or just acting like an asshole and refuse to correct your own behaviour even after you've been called out on it, you don't deserve to call yourself a brony and you need to GTFO our fandom. Believe me, I've seen some horror stories, up to and including attempted child molestation at conventions. I have nothing against people with mental problems - I have some myself - but when you start wilfully inflicting those problems on the general public, you lose the right to expect people's sympathy and patience. That's my view on the matter and I'm sticking to it!