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Harmonic Revelations

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  1. Harmonic Revelations
    Hello and welcome to another groundbreaking piece of journalism delivered to you by the one and only Harmonic Revelations. This time, we have something of a shocker. In a recent status update by renowned and world-famous user Abrony-Mouse, he has claimed that they are "honestly super hungry rn", but is the first word of that status true? Are they indeed being the honest paragon of virtue and desiring food that they claim to be? Or is this another piece of the insidious web of lies propagated by a growing group of infiltrators from another dimension posing as regular members?
      Our first piece of evidence is rather simple. Analyzing a graph of the calorie intake of Abrony-Mouse for the past week indicates that there is no abnormal lack of calorie consumption today, calling into question if they are being honest at all, as such would imply they get "super hungry" everyday. As we all know, food is a precious resource, yet Abrony-Mouse seems to have an adequate amount. That raises an interesting question; if they were truly getting hungry wouldn't they have eaten before they got to the "super" hungry stage? Perhaps being slightly hungry, moderately hungry, or even very hungry is a reasonable state to be in, but "super" hungry? I have my sincere doubts.
     It is my duty to the MLPForums to make sure that you do not fall for these insidious lies by the interdimensional invaders trying to steal control of your mind by convincing you they are hungry. Stay safe, and stay informed.

  2. Harmonic Revelations
    We are ready.
     
    Now is the time.
     
    Are you ready, forums?
     
    Marco is ready.
     
    [8:00:02 PM] Harmonic Revelations: Marco, now is the time.
    [8:00:17 PM] Marco: hm?
    [8:00:28 PM] Harmonic Revelations: Artemis is ready to initiate the plan
    [8:00:40 PM] Harmonic Revelations: Are you ready?
    [8:01:01 PM] Marco: wat?
    [8:01:09 PM] Harmonic Revelations: Alright, you get behind her and I'll push.
    [8:03:31 PM] Harmonic Revelations: I have the sticks of butter necessary.
    [8:03:46 PM] Harmonic Revelations: Did you bring the steam roller?
     
    Artemis is ready.
     
    http://imageshack.us/a/img208/258/artemisl.png
     
    Chigens and Kay is ready.
    http://imageshack.us/a/img38/8561/chigens.png
  3. Harmonic Revelations
    Hello everyone. To those who knew me back in the day and have stuck around the forum, I'm sure you didn't expect to see me again, and with good reason. To say it's been a while is an understatement. To say it's been an eternity is probably closer to the truth. 
    There are those who said this day would never come where I'd return, those who have some understanding what happened all those years ago, and those who don't. So it's time to set the record straight, turn a new leaf, and put it all out on the table. This is going to be a long one so please bare with me. I'll try to split this into sections to make it a bit more palatable, and hopefully I can make sticking around for the whole thing worth it.
     
    Part 1: Apologies
      Well, this is where I should start. It'll give necessary context for everything that happened back then, and the circumstances that led up to now. Back in ancient times (2012-2013) I was a fairly popular user on this forum, and had a significant following both casually and with a lot of die hard friends I made along the way. But there was a problem, I was a dumb fourteen year old kid full of vanity, and this was the first time I had ever been what I would consider "successful" in a social situation. Those are the ingredients for stupid decisions. 
      Having what I considered to be "fame" (I know, thinking that having people like your posts on a MLP forum often is 'fame' is pretty laughable in hindsight), I felt invincible. And I felt that I could treat people any way I wanted, with no consequences. And it should go without saying, that's a morally egregious way to behave. In retrospect I'm frankly quite disgusted with myself and I look back on a lot of the things I said both to users and to staff trying to keep me under control with sheer embarrassment and sympathy for those who had to put up with me. Even if I could have gotten away with acting that way it still wasn't right, and that's why I'm actually glad all these years later that I did get banned. Because after the anger wore off, it started sinking into my head that the way you treat people is important.
     Being funny isn't enough to excuse being a jerk. And I was just too stupid to get that through my thick skull back in the day. I harassed a couple of specific users, even going as far as to go out of my way to cause them trouble offsite by insulting them on apps like Skype.
     It should come as no surprise to anyone then that I got the boot, a permanent ban slapped on my account, and rightly so. The moderators back then displayed insane amounts of patience with me and frankly I don't know if I could have handled fourteen year old me as well as they did back then. 
     I'm sorry. And I am not just saying that. It's been many years but when I think back to things I've done that I sincerely regret, the way I treated people here in my last months before the ban still comes to mind. I know words cannot properly convey sincere regret, but I hope that now that I've been graciously been allowed back into the site I can once again contribute positively to the site, and this time it can last. I'm a twenty one year old man now, and it's been an immense weight off my shoulders to, after all this time, finally get to say sorry.
     I hope that if you were around back in the day and were affected by my terrible behavior, you'd be willing to put that aside and allow me to start fresh, but if interacting with me again is something that some people don't want I understand completely and will respect those boundaries.
    There's no justification for what I did back in the day and I don't wish to try and justify it. I hope I can once more be a positive influence here like I used to be in what boomers like me may call "The good ol' days".
     
    Part 2: So what exactly has happened since the ban?
      Well, I could write an entire novel detailing the amount of things that have happened since then, so I'll keep it concise and put it into a bullet point list to make it more accessible for anyone who just wants a brief summary of what's been up.
    -I got semi-stable work as a freelance writer, doing mostly commissions for fandoms.
    -I moved into another house, still live in the same state and town though. 
    -I enrolled in college, though that's currently on hiatus due to the pandemic.
    -I improved my health and can better manage my Type 1 Diabetes
      Obviously there are thousands of other things that have happened between then and now, but those are the most relevant to the overall state of my life. I look forward to catching up with any old friends who may still be around to this day. I've already reached out to a few.
    Part 3: Why did I come back, and what happens next?
      To answer the first question, there's no single concise answer that fully explains it. It's more of a compilation of small factors. The main contributing factors were my desire to apologize to those I've wronged, the fact I found an old fanart of my pony OC while going through a old hard drive, and that I befriended someone on Discord who is part of the fandom and reminded me that it's still kind of a thing, even if not as much as it was all those years ago. I was nostalgic for this place, and I sincerely missed it.
      The answer to the second question is more exciting. I'm back and just going through the backlog of my old content right now, and while a lot of the things I did were pretty silly, I did have a few good ideas I plan to continue, such as the interview series with users of the forum. One of the fondest and most vivid memories from back then was me getting the chance to get to know so many of you through that, and so it brings me pleasure to be able to continue it.
      I plan to become active in the forum, and the fanbase as a whole once again. I haven't watched the show since the middle of Season 4 so I'm quite a bit behind, but I'll end up irresponsibly binging all the episodes in a row some day like the weirdo I am, don't worry.
     
    If anyone has any questions for me, relevant to the blog post or not, I'm willing to answer them in the comments.
     
    And yes, Celestia is still best pony. Some things never change.
     
     
      
     
     
     
  4. Harmonic Revelations
    In this unbelievable exclusive edition of Harmonic's Inside Scoop, we look at the biggest scandal to rattle the MLP forums for years. In a recent status update, long time user and "cute pastel pony" Emerald Heart has reported that they are feeling super cozy.
      Now I know what you're thinking: "Harmy, that's just insane. There's no way Emerald Heart is feeling cozy", and were I myself in your shoes (or horse shoes perhaps) I too would be questioning the validity of this claim. But I am no lesser reporter, and I have indeed brought photographic evidence of this shocking fact. My heart nearly stopped beating in my chest when I read this. But then, something else popped into my mind. "How do we know Emerald Heart is actually super cozy?"
      I am currently investigating with the help of local authorities to determine whether Emerald Heart is actually super cozy, or is perhaps maybe simply very or extremely cozy.
      Stay tuned for new developments as this story progresses.

  5. Harmonic Revelations
    I am developing a ROM hack. It's based on Lavender Town Syndrome creepypasta, and yes, I am putting in the sprites and the White Hand and Buried Alive. Because I'm crazy (And want view on Youtube) so I'll update this as I get further in development. I might even end up adding other scary creepy pasta things depending on how far I get it to be developed.
     
    Basically because of TOS and what not I cannot actually upload it, at least here. But I will eventually put up the video of the hack on this blog post.
  6. Harmonic Revelations
    Previous giveaway (Obsolete codes)
     
    Same as before, just leave a comment if you take one of the keys, please elaborate if you took Key 1 or Key 2 so I can mark it accordingly.
     
    Also, I have a copy of Mirror's Edge to give away as well.
     
    Once again, thanks for being a great community and enjoy the games!
     
    As always, they're on a first come first-serve basis, feel free to take whatever you see.
     
    Origin:
     
    The Sims 3
     
    Serial Key 1 (Taken by somebody who didn't claim it for reasons unknown)
     
     
     
    Serial Key 2 (Taken by EmeraldDazzle)
     
     
     
     
    The Sims 3 High End Loft Stuff
     
    Serial Key 1
     
     
     
    Serial Key 2
     
     
     
    The Sims 3 Late Night
     
    Serial Key 1
     
     
    Serial Key 2
     
     
     
    Mirror's Edge:
     
     
  8. Harmonic Revelations
    Here comes an actually serious blog post. It's an issue that affects everybody here in one way or another, so please take the time to read it.
     
    I'm ashamed of the fandom for many reasons, and I'd like to walk you through them.
     
    One of the big ones is how people respond to those who leave the fandom (Not the people who say that they are going to and don't, those people don't count).
     
    They often says things like "Good riddance" or "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out", without keeping in mind that the people they're talking to are in fact humans, with feelings and opinions, not just a name and a user icon, and that their actions might have driven them out of the fandom. Even if these people haven't left yet, they most likely want to, I am ashamed and down right saddened that Down With Molestia got as much support as it did. They drove a great and talented artist away because of their sensibilities. An artist who, mind you, they were not forced to look at the work of. This is hardly a one-time occurrence, it's become more and more common as time has worn on. Even on these forums.
     
    That's a big problem in this fandom, people complain that the "Dark side" of the fandom is bad, and antagonize them. Well I have a shocking revelation for you: Usually the people who enjoy the adult content produced by the fandom are adults. When you start demonizing that, all you're left with are whiny children (Or people who act like whiny children). So after demonizing the adults of the fandom and forcing them, say, off of this forum, these same people who caused so many children to join the fandom complain when no mature people are left. That's just stupid.
     
    You can disagree with the actions of others, but it is beyond wrong to try to force them to stop doing what you disagree with them about, especially since it does not affect you in any significant way. If you don't like what you see, close the page and move on.
     
    Instead people end up grouping up and targeting people who are unfortunate enough to lack the means to defend themselves. Just like those outside the fandom tend to do to us.
     
    It's hypocritical and disgusting, that's what it is. Every day we have to deal with people who hate us for the very fact that we watch ponies, and what do we do? We turn around and fight each other. That's not right, no matter which way you look at it. I'm not one of those people who says "Love and tolerate", or even that we should adhere to the messages of the show by default, but what I do understand is that since we all face the same troubles due to our shared interest, we should at least show each other a little bit of respect. No matter what your ideology, you should accept that not everybody will share your viewpoint and move on. There's no need to start a riot every time you see something you disagree with.
     
    But you know when a good time to riot is? When the things you do agree with are taken down. Because that's censorship. Having things you enjoy censored is a fantastic reason to leave the fandom, in fact, it's made me consider doing that several times myself.
     
    When it comes down to it, you have no reason or right to try to force other people out of the fandom because you disagree with their beliefs or the things they say and do. It's a show, not a religious cult.
     
    These problems have become horrible on the forums lately. I've noticed, and so have many others.
     
    So please try to treat your other users with at least some dignity and respect. If every post you make is inflammatory, dramatic, or immature in some way, this probably is not the forum for you. Everybody gets a little irritated and sometimes it's understandable to make a few posts like that, but what is not acceptable is when all of your posts are like that, because it doesn't contribute to the forums in any meaningful way and it makes your fellow users uncomfortable and upset. Note; It's okay to think these things, but not to post them. Nobody is forcing your opinion one way or the other, but you should take full responsibility for the things you say and do. On the other side of every username here is a human being, and it would do well to remember that.
     
    It is not okay to target people and use mass opinion to bully them, it is despicable and makes those responsible just as bad as the people who harass us for our love of the show. You can't force others to be politically correct because what is politically correct is subjective. You don't have any knowledge of the beliefs of this other person or their experiences beyond what they've told you; they could very well have a great reason for thinking or believing what they do.
     
    On the other side of the coin, it is not okay to antagonize people because they post things that the majority don't agree with. Their opinion is not any less valid than yours just because it's not commonly accepted. Ultimately, if what they say is not politically correct, you shouldn't care, because you choose who you talk to. If you don't like it, you can always turn the computer off and walk away, or talk to people who share your own beliefs. Imposing your own beliefs on others in an aggressive and hostile way makes the experience of posting here negative for everybody involved, and ultimately, if you try to express your opinion by yelling at everybody who doesn't agree, you won't change any minds, and just end up discrediting your own beliefs.
     
    Hatred hurts everybody except for the person you actually hate, so it's best to keep it to yourself. At times even I myself forget this. What matters is that you do the absolutely best you can to keep it in mind, and take responsibility for and try to repair the damage you do cause.
     
    The number of people who whole-heartedly disagree with this blog post proves my point about just how widespread this issue is, since all I'm really saying is that they should take the time to treat each other like human beings instead of emotional punching bags and to take responsibility for themselves.
    Thanks for reading.
  9. Harmonic Revelations
    Greetings, friends. Today I am here to talk about the forums, namely the dark truth I've uncovered.
     
    It all started when I saw SCS handing Artemis a black box. I was curious, so I asked what was in it, SCS then stabbed me to death. After I came back as a ghost, I floated through the walls and peaked in the box.
     
    Inside the box was a set of letters, which I immediately knew to convert into numbers and then use on a safe, a safe that makes whale calls at approximately 11:59 AM everyday on the dot.
     
    Once I located the source of these whale calls, I entered the numbers, which was Moony's birthday in numeric form, backwards. I knew this from watching him extensively for several years.
     
    Once I cracked open the safe, I found a vulture. I know that vultures are known in some cultures to represent birds, so I flipped off the gigantic Poniverse logo that is located next to my house. When I did this, it glowed and opened a portal to Equestria.
     
    Once I approached this portal, DashForever stopped me. We engaged in a long fight but I ended up defeating him by slapping him with a watermelon. He then exploded into white flame. I knew he would be back, as moderators are eternal and come back to life through the flames of Oblivion.
     
    DashForever's anime friends attacked me. I managed to fend them off with a fire hydrant I ripped out of the ground with my beefy arms that I gained from not using steroids for many years.
     
    Once they were defeated, I jumped through the portal. I found myself in Equestria, so I did the only responsible thing and killed all the ponies except for Trixie, Fluttershy, and Celestia.
     
    Then I immediately returned home as a pony.
     
    And that's how America was founded.
  10. Harmonic Revelations
    In the "shocking" conclusion to this event that nobody actually had any reason to care about, Doctor XFizzle has concluded that the opinions of the users mean precisely jack shit. Of course, we can't blame him, because after carefully analyzing what the fuck was going on in the March Madness thread, our team also came to the conclusion that the entire thing meant precisely fucking nothing.
     
    However, it would have made a whole lot more sense to declare that the one with the most votes at the time the contest ended won, but I guess that's why I'm not wearing a fez or...uh...Fizzling? Whatever verb describes the state of being Doctor XFizzle.
    ________
    We did manage to reach the previous Pope, Pope Benedict XVI, for comment on this. We had an exclusive one-on-one interview in his condominium.

     
    Q: So, Mister Benedict, what did you think of the proceedings of the contest?
     
    A: Well, Harmonic, after considering all of the information about the contest itself, I have concluded that this is a bunch of stupid bullshit. But how people responded is what really pisses me off....fo shizzle.
     
    Well thank you Mr. Benedict, that really clears things up.
     
    So there you have it folks, that contest meant nothing to anybody of a sound mind. I hope you've enjoyed our coverage of people beating each other to death and having emotional breakdowns over characters that don't actually exist and a contest that means nothing.
     
    I'll see you next time, same place.
  12. Harmonic Revelations
    Initial Report; 4/5/2014
     
    In this one time special event, we are temporarily returning to cover news of March Madness. Which is, for some reason, still going on in April.

    We have reports that the fans are violent and that the moderators are doing all they can to calm the situation. ADHD meds seem to calm the Pinkie fans, and shiny objects have proven successful at distracting the Rarity fans. The rest of the groups are still ravaging everything in their path.
    We interviewed several users, and here is what they had to say:
     
    "GO DIE. AJ MASTER RACE!"
     
    "What is March Madness?"
     
    "WHY ARE YOU WATCHING ME SLEEP WHILE HOLDING A MICROPHONE?!"
     
    In an event we did Nazi coming, some Pinkie fans attempted to win using the same method they did to win class president in Middle School, by comparing their opponents to history's worst villains. What the actual fuck?
     
    No sane person survives this event unscathed. Apathy is recommended.
     
    Remain indoors until it's over for your own safety. Do NOT let anybody with a Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, or Pinkie Pie avatar into your house. THIS IS FOR YOUR SAFETY.
     
    Scientists are still hard at work trying to figure out why any sane person would care about a contest pitting fictional candy-colored horses against each other. The results so far are inconclusive. What we do know is that those afflicted with a condition scientifically named "Fanboyism" are extremely irrational and aggressive. Do not approach an afflicted individual.
     
     
    UPDATE: 4/6/2014
     
    The violence in the streets continues. Riot control has only been somewhat effective. The Status Update section is completely overrun by those afflicted with fanboyism and is to be avoided at all costs, entering this area risks being ranted at or attacked by ravenous fanboys.
     
    The match is close and this has led to an all out war in the forums between the factions. Everybody not affected by this tournament has responded with confusion or disgust.

     
    In response to the high amount of instances of too many fucks being given, Poniverse has rationed the amount of fucks users can give about these candy colored horses. However, it is expected that some will stockpile fucks for later use and could hold out for days.
     
    The Admins could not be reached for comment, but it is assumed that everything that can be done is and that this crisis will be resolved soon.
     
    The scientists have found that the overdramatic bullshit is contagious and as such has recommended putting the March Madness thread in a quarantine until the pathogen causing this wackadiddy tomfuckery can be isolated and destroyed. However, no such action has been taken yet. It is assumed that some kind of Pathogen latches onto the brain of those affected, which would reflect their limited reasoning abilities.
     
    More on this story as it develops.
  13. Harmonic Revelations
    Weaboos. The Staff. Trixie Fans. and Everybody Else. Long ago, the four cliques lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Weaboo Nation attacked.





     
    Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he vanished. A hundred thousand years (Forums time) passed and mah brotha and I discovered the new Avatar, a Staff Member named SCS. And although his Staffing and lucid dreaming skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he's ready to levitate shit with his mind. But I believe SCS can save the forums.

  15. Harmonic Revelations
    Hello, friends. Even though I only stopped browsing the forums for what seems like a day or two, it appears that every blog now is about something called popularity.
     
    Namely, talking about how bad popularity is. They talk like popularity was some kind of ancient evil awakened by some ignorant explorer on the forums wandering into a forsaken temple, triggering the end of the forums as we know it.
     
    Let me disagree with you on popularity being bad for a moment. Just hear me out. Feel free to throw tomatoes at me at the end if you disagree with me enough.
     
    Whether popularity is bad or good is highly irrelevant, it's an opinion. It is in effect neutral as it can have good and bad effects. It is human nature. The desire to be popular and the desire to rank others is part of why society exists.
     
    Let us look at the definition of popularity for a moment, because most of these blogs about it seem to completely ignore it and set up a strawman argument instead:
     
    "The state or condition of being liked, admired, or supported by many people."
     
    Is that the kind of thing that is the ultimate evil, destroyer or worlds, ruiner of lives? I hardly think it is. Popularity is in fact essential. It is motivation. I think that what most people setting up these anti-popularity blogs are saying is not that there is too much popularity, but that there is not enough.
     
    If everybody was liked and supported the world would be a much better place than it is today, wouldn't it?
     
    I think the concept that people are really hating, one that I also hate myself, is exclusion. Let us look at the definition of exclusion for a moment.
     
    "Deny (someone) access to or bar (someone) from a place, group, or privilege."
     
    This is what people are talking about when they mention that people are ignoring them or something. Namely denying them the right to have their opinion/voice heard (Which is ironic, considering the entire point of a forum is to share your opinion), exclusion is a nasty business. Sadly, it is a fact of everyday life.
     
    Exclusion has a similar purpose to popularity, to show whether we agree or disagree with how somebody is behaving. This, while not always pleasant for somebody we disagree with, is one of the most agreeable ways to show our disagreement. While I myself try to avoid excluding anybody, I slip up sometimes, as do we all.
     
    Exclusion on the forums has a close friend however, one that is responsible for how much of it is going on. I'm talking, of course, about corruption.
     
    "Dishonest or fraudulent conduct by those in power."
     
    In this case, the power I'm talking about is the popularity. Popularity itself is not a problem, but it becomes one when it is used as a weapon to keep a select group of people at the top, and the rest at the bottom. I'm not going to lie and say that I myself like everybody, but I also won't go out of my way to hurt said people, and you shouldn't either.
     
    What dishonest conduct by those in power am I talking about? All the negative talk about users behind their backs that has been plaguing the forums lately.
     
    Ultimately my point is that the problem isn't that we like people a lot, that's a ridiculous thing to think. The problem is that we aren't giving anybody who we don't already like a lot a chance, or maybe even are proactively working against them in some cases.
     
    tl;dr: Forums, cut that shit out. Kthx
     
    I just thought this needed to be said, thanks for your time, forums.
  19. Harmonic Revelations
    I got a message to be taken very seriously on my FiMFiction account, all of you should be quivering in fear like I am.
    Not only does this mark some kind of ultimate evil destroying us, but from the sent time I can tell that this is the first time in history that a two week period is under 72 hours long.
     
    I am shaking and have the FBI, the NSA, NASA, the USMC, Scooby Doo and the gang, the CIA, Delta Force, Ghost Busters and the Smurfs on the phone as I type this.
     
    I blurred out the name not because this is a stupid message and because I'm pretty sure the other person is somewhere in the neighborhood of eight years old, but because I fear if I post their name it will magically summon them to my house and they will murder me.
     
    Everybody find cover, this is so intense and I'm taking it very seriously.
     
    *Queue Air Raid Sirens*
     
     
    Edit: Jokuc is my lord and savior:
     

  20. Harmonic Revelations
    I am a Carnegiea gigantea, which is an arborescent form of cactus. My family of cacti can grow over 20 meters tall. I am prized for my bright red fruit which ripen in June and are very sweet in taste. In addition, I have pretty little white flowers that grow on me.
     
    Also, it is illegal to harm me in Arizona.
     
    Now you know a bit more about me.

    I am very perverted.
    I am sarcastic when I'm talking to people I don't like/am in a bad mood.
    I don't care if I offend people. It's better to have your feelings hurt than be misinformed.
    I am Diabetic.
    I am legally blind, which means I can see as well at 20 yards as most can see at 200.
    I have very poor hearing.
    I have ADHD
    I'm not smug, I'm just better than everybody else.
    I like kiwis a lot.
    I speak my mind, I'm not afraid to say what I'm thinking.
    I can speak a small amount of German and Latin.
    I am a cactus.
    I rarely ever watch TV.
    I am chemically addicted to the forums (#Trufax)
    I am very passionate about my opinions
    I struggle with depression at times.
    I do not fit in with my peers. At all.
    Otty is my waifu
    I love rain, it's my favorite weather. I like the smell.
    60-70 degrees farenheit is my favorite temperature range.
    I'm allergic to cats and pollen.
    My favorite bands are Rammstein, Rise Against, and Godsmack.
    I show slight sociopathic tendencies.
    I love Halo.
    I love F.E.A.R.
    I can write upside down.
    My handwriting is horrible because my hands shake constantly.

  21. Harmonic Revelations
    Hello, friends.
     
    This scandalous calculation from our latest love-measuring technology has the potential to mean the end of MLP as we know it.

     
    Now, Ash Ketchum was reached for comment, he had this to say:
     
    "Why do I only change my clothing once per season?"
     
    As you can see by his comment, he believes this whole affair has more bark than bite. It is true that affairs with trees have deep roots in our culture, and it's impossible to tell exactly where it stems from.
     
    This leaves many interesting questions, and I will keep you updated as soon as we have more info, forums.
  22. Harmonic Revelations
    He thought we'd never notice. He thought he could just march on the country of Maple Leafs, and the entire forums would turn a blind eye. But no longer, today I reveal to you the truth. This secret encoded message is the latest planned announcement from Lavo "The Conquerer" Code Overlord, and I posted it just in time to stop his evil deeds from coming to pass.
     
    My secure sources tell me he has an army of at least ten million cans of Mountain Dew, moving in from the East. We must set up a defensive perimeter and defend with our lives.
     
    Due to my release of this message, I may be in danger of spontaneously combusting, but I'll take that risk for you, forums.
     

    Viva la, word for a circular motion that starts with "R"? I dunno.


     
     
    We're onto you, Lavo! We know your game! You cannot get away with this!

  24. Harmonic Revelations
    Harmonic is the most beautiful, lovely, bubbly, murderous, sociopathic, psychotic, friendly staff member around, and I'm here to tell you why.
     
    Because Cacti are the chosen ones, and humanity isn't.

    Bow chicka bow down.
     
    The green overlords are upon you, earthlings. Prepare yourself.
    Discuss.
  25. Harmonic Revelations
    Hello, friends. I have some dark secrets to show to you today. I broke into the secret government tunnels below the Lincoln Memorial where they store Hilary Clinton's spare wigs and made a shocking discovery.
     
    A lost record that shows us all the dark truth.
     
    The Republican National Convention only exists so that Ron Paul can use his Warlock powers to absorb the souls of other Republicans to maintain his youth, thus making him immortal. That's why all Republican candidates have gray hair.
     
     
    Photographic Evidence:

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