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Copper Strikes


DwhitetheGamer
  • No Not Cast Late Adolescent

    Blue fur with medium sized spiked blue mane and short tail, and brown eyes that are wide open. As tall as the average colt for his age. Has a cheerful expression as well. Has a good build all around.

    Male Earth Pony A blue spiked ball https://buffy.mlpforums.com/3ad0c557620455790297c3d28ff0ab0b.jpg

    He is a cheerful, down-to-earth, loveable pony. He loves having fun and likes to hang out with his friends. He doesn't take kindly to bullying and is more than willing to speak up for others who can't fend for themselves. He likes friends for who they are, he doesn't want them to be someone else.. He doesn't get agitated often, but when he does, he usually walks away, calming down in the process. Pressure doesn't get to him, as he only wants to have fun as he competes. He's a friendly competitor who has raced for a few months, takes losing well and has good sportsmanship. Also, if he's alone, he sometimes hums a tune to pass the time. He likes ice cream, particularly chocolate and strawberry.

     

    He doesn't like shopping, but can tolerate it if it isn't too long. He thinks long shopping trips are boring and a waste of time, though he doesn't try to act all rudely in such. He doesn't mind reading a few short books, but long ones he tends to avoid, as they make him tired. He doesn't like doing math problems, the formulas and such can get him extremely confused.

    Likes: Ponies who bully others, math, and long shopping trips

    Copper was named after his mother's grandfather's middle name to remind his mother of him. When he was young, his parents moved to Ponyville from Apploosa to start a more active life. He was excited, as he heard some great things about the town. When they moved there, he marveled at the sight. He was getting more excited by the minute. "I can't wait to make some new friends here!" he said happily.

     

    "That comes later, dear." his mom said. "Right now we have to make it to our house."

     

    "Yes, mom," he said, giggling as they trotted to their house, near Sugarcube Corner east side.

     

    His cutie mark came three weeks after the move to Ponyville. It was at the end of winter, and everypony was clearing up the streets that were covered with snow to get ready for Spring. Copper helped as well, until he came across a path of snow that was a few extra inches deep. He hesitated, but an idea sprang into his mind. He remembered seeing somepony playing in the snow, rolling into a ball. He had practiced for a week, pretty intently as well. He figured it was time to truly put his idea into action. He had advised everypony to clear off as he was getting ready to put his idea into action. When the coast was clear, he summoned his strength, curled up into a ball, revved up, and launched himself into the path of snow. He had full control of his body and, with a mental image in his mind, weaved through the snow. Everypony watched with awe, as he became nothing but a blur that was a spiked ball. They cheered as he skidded to a halt at where he started. He then looked at his flank as something was happening to it. He gasped as he saw his cutie mark, then jumped for joy. "Yippee! I got my cutie mark!" he exclaimed.

     

    Everypony cheered again, and his mother went up and embraced him. "Great job, dear!" she said.

     

    "Thanks, mom. Now let's finish up, everypony!" he said as everyone continued clearing up the snow. When they finished, he took a little time to think about why he got his cutie mark. He figured it out later by talking to his mom about it. "It's because I wanna be there for everypony, and I'll do anything to help. That's why I got it." he said.

     

    His mother hugged him. "That's great, Copper. All our destinies are different. I'm just glad you chose the right one."

     

    "Thanks, mom."

     

    He has a passion for racing. His first race came three years after the move to Ponyville. Everypony was ready for the annual Running of the Leaves, as many ponies entered the race. Copper entered as well, but before he entered, his mother told him, "Now, Copper, don't go acting like a show-off to the other ponies at any time in this race, you won't make good friends doing so," she said.

     

    "Yes, mommy," Copper stated, who was eager to be in his very first race.

     

    As he entered, he was told there was one condition for it. "Whatever you do, Copper, do not use your Spin Dash in the race," the announcer said to him.

     

    Copper shrugged. "I'll only use it when I have to get back on the track in case of an accident." he said. He knew there would be that pony who'd do anything to win the race, and he wasn't planning on being that one.

     

    The announcer caught on with what he was saying and nodded. "I hope you do."

     

    Later, minutes after race started, his words became prophetic. A pony "accidently" bumped into him, causing him to tumble off a cliff. When he got to the bottom, he quickly recovered, morphed into a ball, and launched himself back on the track, with a few extra meters help. He picked up the pace afterwards, managing to catch up to the back of the pack seconds later. He continued on, gaining on the leading group. At the final stretch, he was in a neck-and-neck race with the pony who "bumped" him. The two crossed the finish line, with a photo being taken. The ponies slowed to a stop, panting hard with the effort they put into it. The crowd cheered at the close race. Copper looked at his opponent, a smile on his face. "Good race, at least it is if it wasn't for the shove." he said.

     

    "Give me a break, you used your Spin Doo-hicky thing in it!" his opponent shot back.

     

    "I wouldn't have if you hadn't shoved me," Copper replied calmly. "I knew there'd be somepony who'd do anything to win. And it's called 'Spin Dash' by the way."

     

    Later, the rest of the remaining racers made it to the finish line, all panting afterwards. When they recovered, Copper greeted them with bro-hooves. "Great race, everypony." he said to some groups.

     

    Some of the ponies voiced their agreement, while others took it without saying a word. Then, the announcer said: "We have the results of this year's Running of the Leaves! And the winner is: Copper Strikes!"

     

    Copper smiled. He knew he was liking it, and he knew he should show good sportsmanship, remembering his mother's words.

     

    Today, he still makes his home near Sugarcube Corner. He works at the Ponyville Mail Service delivering mail. When he's not working, you can see him at Sugarcube Corner hanging out with his friends. He also takes time to help out others for anything with no extra pay. "I just want to be there for them. If they need an extra set of hooves, I'll be there." he occasionally says. He also takes time to showcase his talent to young ponies who don't have their cutie marks yet. "If you set your mind to it, you can do anything."

    His Spin Dash lets him jump a bit higher than regular ponies. He occasionally practices the move in his spare time just to freshen up. Its top speed is as fast as a racing Pegasus, and it takes a bit of concentration of his body to pull it off. It's strong enough to push a giant boulder just a little bit. However, although he uses it often, he hurts himself a bit going full speed, so he knows to slow it down.

     

    Also in his spare time, he enjoys swimming with friends. Not often, but he can Spin Dash through the water just to create waves that hit his friends, ending with him laughing with the payback ensuing.

https://buffy.mlpforums.com/00b236ab916bf1ea5105e91d5b5a2669.jpg
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Hiya, Dwhite!  I'm going to give you my review on this character, and together we can work on making Copper ready for our EqE universe!  I'll take it from the top, and try to address each thing in order.

 

Okay, let's see here:

 

- First and foremost, ONLY characters from the actual show are considered "Tier" characters; unless Copper has been in the show itself, he should be listed as Not Cast.

- As this is an application for an EqE character, we ask that you expand on his description; at least a paragraph or two, as detail will be KEY to EqE roleplay.  This can also be said for his personality - a good rule to keep in mind is the more detail you put INTO the character, the more enjoyment you will GET from them!

- As per the rules of EqE, Copper CANNOT already know any of the characters from the show - that's what the roleplay is FOR - to meet & possibly befriend them IN PLAY.

 

 

May I possibly suggest taking a gander at this; it might help you to better define what you want Copper to be:

 

https://mlpforums.com/topic/118570-equestrian-empire-rules-and-how-to-join/?p=2300711

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Hiya, Dwhite!  I'm going to give you my review on this character, and together we can work on making Copper ready for our EqE universe!  I'll take it from the top, and try to address each thing in order.

 

Okay, let's see here:

 

- First and foremost, ONLY characters from the actual show are considered "Tier" characters; unless Copper has been in the show itself, he should be listed as Not Cast.

- As this is an application for an EqE character, we ask that you expand on his description; at least a paragraph or two, as detail will be KEY to EqE roleplay.  This can also be said for his personality - a good rule to keep in mind is the more detail you put INTO the character, the more enjoyment you will GET from them!

- As per the rules of EqE, Copper CANNOT already know any of the characters from the show - that's what the roleplay is FOR - to meet & possibly befriend them IN PLAY.

 

 

May I possibly suggest taking a gander at this; it might help you to better define what you want Copper to be:

 

https://mlpforums.com/topic/118570-equestrian-empire-rules-and-how-to-join/?p=2300711

 

Updated the character, putting the touches needed, like you asked.

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Looking good, looking good!

 

Now, let's see here:

 

- Check the spelling of "Strikes"; I'm fairly certain it's just a typo (I do it more than I care to admit).

- Still needs a bit of expansion in his personality; might I suggest a few ideas?  How does he react to pressure?  What is like when he's happy?  Or sad?  How about angry?  What does he look for in a friend?  Try asking yourself about the different facets of who he is when he's alone.  (Hope these help get the juices flowing!)

- The description could use a bit of 'oomph' - is he tall or short?  Does he have any markings on his coat, or is it simply a single color?  What about those brown eyes of his; does he squint, or are they wide and happy?  Does he wear a smile, or is he frowning a lot, or maybe just neutral?

- The likes and dislikes are good, but there's not much in his background to explain them: WHY does he like racing, and has he done it before?  WHAT HAPPENED to make him despise shopping trips?  

 

I appreciate your work on this - EqE is dependent on having a LOT of detail to work with.  Imagine how cool it is when another player uses something off your profile and makes a story out of it!  It happens more often than you think - especially when there's lots of detail to work with.

 

Copper Strikes is coming along rather well - pretty soon, he'll be shinier than a Chaos Emerald!  *wink*

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Looking good, looking good!

 

Now, let's see here:

 

- Check the spelling of "Strikes"; I'm fairly certain it's just a typo (I do it more than I care to admit).

- Still needs a bit of expansion in his personality; might I suggest a few ideas?  How does he react to pressure?  What is like when he's happy?  Or sad?  How about angry?  What does he look for in a friend?  Try asking yourself about the different facets of who he is when he's alone.  (Hope these help get the juices flowing!)

- The description could use a bit of 'oomph' - is he tall or short?  Does he have any markings on his coat, or is it simply a single color?  What about those brown eyes of his; does he squint, or are they wide and happy?  Does he wear a smile, or is he frowning a lot, or maybe just neutral?

- The likes and dislikes are good, but there's not much in his background to explain them: WHY does he like racing, and has he done it before?  WHAT HAPPENED to make him despise shopping trips?  

 

I appreciate your work on this - EqE is dependent on having a LOT of detail to work with.  Imagine how cool it is when another player uses something off your profile and makes a story out of it!  It happens more often than you think - especially when there's lots of detail to work with.

 

Copper Strikes is coming along rather well - pretty soon, he'll be shinier than a Chaos Emerald!  *wink*

 

Updated with what was needed.  And I saw what you did there on the last sentence. 

 

EDIT: And "Strikes" is not a typo, I named him like that.

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I can't even draw a cutie mark right to save my life.  Sorry.

 

The cutie mark can come later; the link my esteemed colleague sent you leads to a free program to make a pony with; it's quite easy (and admittedly kinda fun), and you can download the finished product for adding to your profile.

 

Trust me - it's a LOT easier than it sounds!  Give it a try; I'd love to see what you come up with. 

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SLICK.

 

I like the pic!

 

Now, I'm currently in talks with some of the other staff about the "revving" and "spiked ball" abilities; if it is approved, it will need some well-defined limits... but I'm willing to work with you (again, IF it passes).  Stay tuned here.

 

Otherwise, I still think there should be some expansion in his background to include racing; add the story of his first race & how he fell in love with it - that would be a good addition.  And I'd like to see some more expansion on his description - if you want help with that, just say so; I'm happy to work with you.

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Hello Dwhite :)

 

After taking a look at Copper myself, I have a few of my own notes to share with you, to help move your character along.

  • In his appearance section, he should be described as having blue fur and a blue mane and tail, rather than being described as having skin or hair like a person.

  • Copper’s personality section still needs to be expanded upon a bit. Each EqE-approved character needs to have a personality section of at least two paragraphs.

  • The part of your “likes” section that says “He's a friendly competitor who has raced for a few months, takes losing well and has good sportsmanship” would fit better within the personality section.

  • The story of Copper getting his cutie mark seems a bit random. His talent seems to come out of nowhere, like the idea just popped into his head to do something that most ponies are unable to do. Had he tried to do this before? Had he seen somepony else do it, or read about somepony else doing it? Did he need to practice this talent? More to the point, a cutie mark is meant to symbolize a pony’s calling, what they’re meant to do with the rest of their life. How does this moment define them in that way? Consider that question, and use it to expand upon Copper’s cutie mark story.

  • This is a question, rather than a note. What made you decide on the name Copper Strikes for your character? The Strikes part I understand, but I don’t really see how “Copper” relates to your pony.
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Hmmmm...

 

As far as I'm concerned, you seem to have covered a lot of things we asked for.  I may be premature in this, but I'm gonna toss Copper here into the second approval pile.  If all is well, you'll move on to the big leagues - if not, you'll be informed.

 

Best of luck!

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Hmmmm...

 

As far as I'm concerned, you seem to have covered a lot of things we asked for.  I may be premature in this, but I'm gonna toss Copper here into the second approval pile.  If all is well, you'll move on to the big leagues - if not, you'll be informed.

 

Best of luck!

I'm gonna put in a final touch in the appearance section, just to be safe.

Thanks!

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Copper is named that because his mother's grandfather's middle name was Copper, so she named him that to remind her of him. 

 

First off, this information seems like it would make a good addition to Copper's profile ;)

 

Now, I've re-read your character, and have a few more notes for you. First, the part of Copper's personality section that says "He doesn't care for shopping, as long as it isn't long ones" is a bit oddly worded. I think what you meant was something more along the lines of "He dislikes shopping, but will tolerate it if it doesn't take too long".

 

Second, and most importantly, Copper's special talent still needs a bit of work. Like Randi said, his ability will need to be defined, and I would suggest doing so by clearly laying out what his "spin dash" is capable of in the "other" section. Beyond that though, he is still missing a purpose to his cutie mark. Clearly it symbolizes his unique ability, but what of it? What does his cutie mark say about him beyond "he can do this cool thing"? Is it symbolic of a passion for speed, or perhaps a desire to rush to the aid of somepony who needs it, like he did to earn his cutie mark when he helped clear the snow (hint hint hint)? This is a question that will need to be answered for you to really understand what makes your pony tick.

 

In addition, his cutie mark story is improved, but still seems a bit odd. The inspiration works, but the fact that he never had to work on or practice at this ability strikes me as odd. I would have him practice this at least a bit by himself first.

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First off, this information seems like it would make a good addition to Copper's profile ;)

 

Now, I've re-read your character, and have a few more notes for you. First, the part of Copper's personality section that says "He doesn't care for shopping, as long as it isn't long ones" is a bit oddly worded. I think what you meant was something more along the lines of "He dislikes shopping, but will tolerate it if it doesn't take too long".

 

Second, and most importantly, Copper's special talent still needs a bit of work. Like Randi said, his ability will need to be defined, and I would suggest doing so by clearly laying out what his "spin dash" is capable of in the "other" section. Beyond that though, he is still missing a purpose to his cutie mark. Clearly it symbolizes his unique ability, but what of it? What does his cutie mark say about him beyond "he can do this cool thing"? Is it symbolic of a passion for speed, or perhaps a desire to rush to the aid of somepony who needs it, like he did to earn his cutie mark when he helped clear the snow (hint hint hint)? This is a question that will need to be answered for you to really understand what makes your pony tick.

 

In addition, his cutie mark story is improved, but still seems a bit odd. The inspiration works, but the fact that he never had to work on or practice at this ability strikes me as odd. I would have him practice this at least a bit by himself first.

Updated pony with what was needed.

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Okay, I got another look at him:

 

Elo is right; the Spin Dash needs to have a clear, precise definition.  Try answering these questions: 

 

Fastest speed possible?

What kind of timing/concentration it would take, and how much?

What are the limits?

How often does he practice?

How strong is it?

 

To be honest, I don't see much else really wrong with Copper - but I would truly like that power as fully defined as you've made the character himself.  

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Okay, I got another look at him:

 

Elo is right; the Spin Dash needs to have a clear, precise definition.  Try answering these questions: 

 

Fastest speed possible?

What kind of timing/concentration it would take, and how much?

What are the limits?

How often does he practice?

How strong is it?

 

To be honest, I don't see much else really wrong with Copper - but I would truly like that power as fully defined as you've made the character himself.  

Answered your questions in the "other" section.

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