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Summer Cloud


Mentis Soliloquy
  • No Not Cast Young Adult

    Body: Creme coat, light grey socks
    Face: Creme face, light grey patch on muzzle. ruby eyes
    Mane: Straw colored mane, with bright yellow highlights, Lose mane
    tail: Straw colored tail with light grey mid section. Done into a long ponytail.
    wings: standard, Creme

    Female Pegasus Dark grey cloud, protruding from the bottom is a white lightning strike. https://buffy.mlpforums.com/102d5e9ba4007ee39e821b660dd527c9.png

    Summer is a witty, resourceful outside-the-box thinker, that just can't stand foolish ponies or those that are stubborn as mules. She is reluctant to socialize, preferring to be introduced rather than start a conversation herself. Has a abject fear of lightning not under her control, due to past trauma. Can work well enough, but can be slow to begin or sluggish when it's over. Loves singing, and has difficulty trying to keep herself from napping all the time. She tries to make a habit of cooking for her friends, using oranges or other citrus as her main ingredients. Once you get her into a debate on a subject regardless or what it is she'll argue with you... even if she has no clue what she's talking about! She idolizes the Princesses and her head weather pony, Rainbow Dash.

    When Summer is not working, sleeping or socializing, she tries to constantly volunteer for other things that need doing or that somepony needs help with. She can bore quite easily, which leads to her pulling pranks and other mischievous actions... actions she will later regret, regardless of how big the consequences are. Summer can have a short fuse, and can lose her temper or composure when things get too intense for her. If she has to pass time, she has been known to sink her muzzle into a good book. will return to Orange Grove to visit her family via Cloudsdale. Otherwise, she tends to frequent the Crystal Empire for her best sales.

    Likes: other's laziness, being tired, simpletons, snobs, upper class, bad singing, being pranked.

    Summer was born in Orange Grove, a small orange farm south west of the Crystal Empire, to the Orange family - her mother, Sweet Orange and her father, Navel Orange, both of whom are Earth Ponies. To their surprise, they had a Pegasus; they named her Summer Orange, though later in life Summer dropped the Orange part to call herself Summer Cloud. She started life as any of her 3 brothers and 2 sisters would have, all Earth ponies raised then shown how to farm and help with the harvests. However to eveypony's disappointment she just could not buck. This failure filled her with determination and purpose to help her family, which led to her seeking permission to go to Cloudsdale and learn how to be a great weather pony. Her parents, though reluctant to send her away, were convinced in the end when she said that this is what she wanted to do.

    Summer was sent to Cloudsdale to live with a family friend who had worked at the farm for many years and now had retired to Cloudsdale. Summer knew her caretaker as Sleeping Clouds, however everypony just called him Sleepy. Summer attended a flight school for foals, where she learned about everything to do with being both a Pegasus and a weather pony. She made many good friends and gained her cutie mark in her final year. That fateful day saw Summer's young life change when she hit a cloud with her hoof in boredom and a lightning strike shot out during an exam - a wave of knowledge came over little Summer as she gained insight into the inner workings of lightning clouds and thunder clouds and storms, while the strike itself gave her a cutie mark but burned a section of her tail dark grey, which never seems to dye correctly to cover it. Summer also gained an affinity to manipulate storm clouds much more effectively than most. She returned home to Orange Grove to help her family on the farm.

    Summer was received with open hooves by her family. However, something was not right for Summer and as a few years passed, she decided that her place was no longer in Orange Grove. She wanted to help others who needed her, and her family, though they loved her, simply had everything so well covered, she felt as if she would have more of chance to help if she were elsewhere. "There are always a need for weather ponies." So, after a long farewell, Summer returned to Cloudsdale were she went to the Weather Factory and was given a location to go and work at. That fateful town was Ponyville, a small village that she knew nothing about and in fact took her a full day to find for the first time. Once she did find it, she talked to the Mayor and was given some cloud space to make her home to the West of Ponyville, where still lives to this day.

    Nothing of note apart form living in a cloud house so inviting ponies that are not Pegasus home is a near impossible feat.

    Summer is not related to the (cannon) Orange family she is part of another.
    ​All my characters have accent (based of me) a mix between country Australian (think outback Aus films) and Geordie (sigh... you know like Geordie Shore)

https://buffy.mlpforums.com/c7f00d70289858387df41e6baef429c1.png
  • Brohoof 1

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Hello Emerald! Summer is a very cute little weather pony, but will need a few adjustments before she’s ready for acceptance to EqE.

  • Where you describe ponies with “low IQs” in the personality section, that would be better described as “ponies she considers unintelligent”, as Equestria is very unlikely to have an IQ test like we do.

  • All of the notes that relate to roleplaying in her profile (mainly in the personality section) should be removed. When writing the profile, you should only “break character” like that in the “other” section.

  • The explanation of Summer’s name is a bit confusing. You have her name written as “Summer Sun Cloud”, but in the backstory you say her name is just “Summer Cloud”. One of these should be changed so that the two match. I also noticed that Summer’s birth name is very long, which doesn’t necessarily have to be changed but is something you may want to think about while you’re deciding on her exact current name. If you’d like to simplify things a bit, you could say that she changed her name from Summer Orange to Summer Cloud.

  • The age ranges in the backstory should be removed, as no references to human ages are allowed in this section. You can instead describe her as a filly for the first paragraph, an adolescent for the second, and an adult for the third.

  • The flight school does not have to be named, but the “insert name here” note should be removed.

  • The cutie mark story is a bit confusing. A cutie mark is earned when a pony comes to understand something important about what they are meant to do, and I don’t really see how being struck by lightning allowed that to happen for this pony.

  • Her getting lost on the way to Ponyville is a cute addition to the backstory, but managing to get lost for an entire month seems very unlikely. This time frame should be shortened to a day at most.

  • In the “other” section, it would be helpful to clarify that Summer isn’t supposed to be related to the Orange family from the show that is related to the apple family, and that this is supposed to be a different orange family..

  • Overall, Summer’s profile could be improved by some proofreading for grammar errors. If you can, I would suggest asking a friend to read over and proofread the application for you.

If you can take care of these things, they should put Summer well on her way to acceptance :)

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  • In the “other” section, it would be helpful to clarify that Summer isn’t supposed to be related to the Orange family from the show that is related to the apple family, and that this is supposed to be a different orange family..

  • Overall, Summer’s profile could be improved by some proofreading for grammar errors. If you can, I would suggest asking a friend to read over and proofread the application for you.

If you can take care of these things, they should put Summer well on her way to acceptance :)

 

all but listed have been attended too, I don't remember an Orange family in the show? and I do want her to be part of it if there is one a cousin or such (dose that effect tier) 

 

I'll have to find someone to do the second part soon (i hope)

  • Brohoof 1
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all but listed have been attended too, I don't remember an Orange family in the show? and I do want her to be part of it if there is one a cousin or such (dose that effect tier) 

 

I'll have to find someone to do the second part soon (i hope)

 

If you remember the episode that shows how each of the mane six got their cutie marks, in Applejack's story she spends some time living with her Aunt and Uncle Orange. Because of the rule against OCs having pre-established connections with cast characters, yours can't be related to Applejack (even if the relation here would be fairly distant), so these would have to be different Oranges.

 

I'll give your character another read as soon as I can :)

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@,

 

Excellent! Summer's profile is looking much better! I can still see just a few tiny things to fix up, but those should just take a few minutes and after that Summer should be all set :)


  • The sentence “Does occasionally get nostalgic for home once in a while, and will return to see her family via Cloudsdale” is a bit confusingly worded. I think that saying she “will return to Orange Grove to visit her family” would work better.

  • Where you mention the “flight school for fillies”, I think you meant to say “for foals”. Fillies are young female ponies, while foals are just young ponies.

  • I have not heard of “Geordie Shore”, but I have heard of Jersey Shore. Is that what you meant to say, or am I missing something here?
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