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Found 33 results

  1. A Prothean In Equestria Javik, one of the last of the Protheans to put himself into cryogenic stasis in a desperate attempt to save his species from annihilation by the Reapers. To his indescribable horror, he somehow woke up in another parallel universe filled with annoying Ponies. A pointless Mass Effect crossover. Please don't take this seriously. It was made quite simply for silliness's sake. -------------------------- Within a bunker deep underground an anthropoidal alien known as a Prothean, that had two pairs of eyes with each eye possessing dual pupils, and two pairs of nostrils, his head is covered in a thick, layered carapace, the being's skin is a pale blue-gray color mottled with muted yellow spots. Their hands each have three fingers, and their feet each have two widely-spaced toes. This particular member of his species, whom was wearing light red power armor while having an argument with a green transparent hologramme of his race, whom also wore power armor. "A few minutes!" he shouted at the VI while ignoring the blazing inferno down the hallway of the bunker. "No, the bunker is falling. There's no other option." "There are pod online! Those soldiers are still alive!" "Their sacrifice will be honored in the coming empire. Preparing neutron bombardment, get to your lifepod now." He reluctantly agreed with the VI, then ran over to a cryogenic stasis pod, opened it and lay himself down inside it. "Neutron bombardment under way." He closed his eyes as the ground began to rumble as the bombs go off on the surface. "The bunker is secure, Commander Javik." "What is left of it. A few hundred people. How am I to rebuild an empire from that?" "Further adjustments may be necessary. The neutron purge has compromised the facility." "Clarify." "Sensors are damaged. Automated reactivation is not an option. You will remain in stasis until a new culture discovers this bunker. This may lead to a power shortage. "Do not shut off more pods! I need the few that are left!" "Power needs will be triaged appropriately. You will be the voice of our people." "I will be more than that." he said as darkness took him into cryogenic sleep. *** A small, purple wingless dragon with green scales walked down the stairs to find a machine in the middle of the library’s floor. "Twilight, what is this?" Twilight Sparkle the young lavender unicorn walked down the stairs to see the machine herself. "I have no idea Spike." They both headed over to the machine to have a closer look, but then seemingly for no appellant reason the pod opened itself to reveal Javik's rapidly defrosting body. The Prothean opened his eyes to see Spike and Twilight staring at him, and for some reason everything looked way to colorful and bright. Javik roared in anger while his body flashed with light green Biotic energy, which created a powerful force that sent Spike and Twilight flying across the room to smack into a bookshelf, which caused the bookshelf to fall over and spew books all over the floor. He climbed out of the pod to land on his knees, then stood up staggering a little as he looked around the room in confusion. Twilight ran towards Javik to shout at him. "Why did you just attack us?! Do you have any idea who I am?! Where did you come from? Why are you here? What are you--- Javik simply stared at the strange creature before him, without reading it's physiology, he could not understand one thing it was saying. "Are you even listening to me?!" she screamed. Javik briefly touched the creature on the forehead to gain understanding of this being's language. "How many others?" he asked the unicorn. "Others? There are more of you?" "Yes, there are more of us primitive. Now answer my question!" he bellowed in frustration. "Don't call Twilight primitive!" Spike shouted. "Relax Spike. Anyway, regarding your question, I don't really kn--- Javik walked away from her to head towards the door. "Where are you going?" "That is none of your concern stupid creature!" he said as he slammed the door behind him. The morning residents of Ponyville stared at Javik in shock as he walked out the front door of Twilight's library. "I'M SURROUNDED BY PRIMITIVES!" he shouted in anger towards the heavens. For not only was he surrounded by those stupid things called horses on the Human world, everything around him looked so ridiculously cartoony. "Hi!" Another one of those annoying creatures approached him, it's bright pink body giving him an eyesore. "I'm Pinkie Pie, will you be my friend?" "No! Go away primitive!" he shouted. "Aww! Why do you have to be such a grumpy pants?!" "Yeah!" shouted Spike from behind him next to Twilight. "If you were in a war with the fate of your entire species at stake, only to wake up to be surrounded by things like you, you'd too be a grumpy pants." "No, I wouldn’t!" said Pinkie Pie. "Your species wouldn’t last five minutes against the Reapers. For as far as I can tell you haven't traveled in space yet." "You're such a downer. But we can help you beat the Reapers." "Asking your species for help would break the logical narrative of my universe." "Meh, logic is overrated." "I no longer wish to be played as a puppet by some God's twisted idea of a joke." "Huh?" "Someone teleported me here into this alternate reality. Now, goodbye primitives." He pulled a pistol out from his belt and shot himself in the head blowing his brains out and splattering blood everywhere. Ponies gasped in horror seeing this happen, many proceeded to vomit up their breakfasts. *** Javik opened his eyes to find himself somehow alive and strapped onto a hospital bed with ropes. "Am I to be trapped here forever? The End
  2. Since its MLP related i decided to crap out my art here that i made this morning. Its only one but eh im only one myself. I spent some time on it and, im proud of my baby. maybe ill make more in the future.
  3. Greetings! Some of you may know those, some of you may not - But I feel like I should share it, because it made me laugh until I started getting cramps, which doesn't happen too often, so I have to spread the joy. One of the hilarious aspects - it's all made in the game engine and all the lines are actual edited audio from the games. Warning: Contains strong language and humour some may consider ... Distasteful. Skyrim (6 episodes I believe): Mass Effect (3) (5 episodes): I'm linking you only the first of each "series" I'm sure everyone knows youtube well enough to navigate to the rest, should that be your desire after seeing the first part. I higly recommend to do that, since they seem to get better, gradually. Either way, enjoy and cheers.
  4. Here is the link in which, as you could see, shit went down. I read that article a little before I made this topic, but it didn't really surprise me. Parents acting on their fear of their children going through the same thing as that horrible incident which rocked that school in Connecticut and ultimately ended up finding something to blame. You can kind of tell that I don't worry about their own kids' safety, but rather their inability to not go ahead and educate themselves about what actually happened. Misidentifying the actual suspect and then using a video game as a scapegoat is hardly anything to be respectful of.
  5. This is my first Blog Post, but let's not dwell on that. I just got the "Mass Effect Trilogy" today, I LOVE this series, I played the first Mass Effect in like 2008, loved it and loved the series ever since. I originally had "Mass Effect", never played "Mass Effect 2" or "Mass Effect 3". Not having played the 2nd or 3rd games there will be some surprises in there for me... kinda excited Here's the cover: So....Awesome.... P.S. Shepard kinda looks weird in my opinion, but that's why they have character customization I guess.
  6. Check this fan fiction out I made a while ago. The Reapers Discover The Magic Of Friendship After the events of Mass Effect 2 Harbinger has become concerned about his fellow Reapers that have been acting strangely lately over something called My Little Pony. Fan The Reapers Discover The Magic Of Friendship Edit: Now with extended version for Fimfiction. The Reapers Discover The Magic Of Friendship Down in the Hanger of the Normandy spaceship the short haired unshaven Commander Shepard wore his iconic N7 power armor while looking out a window at the vastness of space. Far away in dark space beyond the horizon of the Milky Way Galaxy there was a massive mechanical cuttlefish like starship, and that ship was one of the Reapers: Harbinger. Harbinger flew closer towards the galaxy to end the threat of Commander Shepard and continue the cycle of genocide of all spacefaring sapient life to maintain order over the chaos of organic evolution. But just as Harbinger flew closer to the galaxy he noticed all his other fellow Reapers were lagging behind, whom were gathered around in a big ball. "What are you doing?" said Harbinger speaking to them on radio. "Shh, we're watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic on the Extranet." Said one of the Reapers, who's voice sounded like Sovereign. "You're what?!" Harbinger growled in frustration blasting his horn. "Harbinger?! Stop sounding your horn!" shouted a Reaper waving his tentacles aggressively at Harbinger. "We've got far more important things to do than watch that stupid Human made junk." Many of the Reaper blasted their horns in anger back at Harbinger while others waved their tentacles wildly at him. "Shut up hater!" "They are so cute Harbinger! How could you not like them Ponies!" "How dare you not like Ponies!" "You no like Ponies?!" Harbinger roared his horn again in anger at his fellow Reapers. "Come on we gotta continue the whole cycle of genocide." There was a brief awkward silence "Would Pinkie Pie do that?" said a Reaper turning to the other Reapers. "No!" said all the other Reapers systematically. "Have you all gone completely insane?!" The Reapers blasted their horns angrily at Harbinger. "No, you're the one who's insane Harbinger!" "Yeah! From now on no more genocide." All the Reapers blasted their horns in agreement. "Yes, let us change our wicked ways." "OK... But what about those who don't like My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, will we do genocide on them?" Reapers blasted their horns angrily in disagreement with Harbinger. "No Harbinger! We'll love and tolerate the haters." Many of the Reapers blasted their horns in agreement. "You've got to be kidding me?!" "No, we're not kidding. For us Reapers have finally discovered the magic of friendship." said all the other Reapers systematically. "What has become of you?" "Now come on Harbinger, just give the show a chance I think you'll like it." "So I could become an indoctrinated slave to the Ponies like you have?" "We're not indoctrinated. The Ponies just melted our cold steel hearts, and gave us new hearts filled with sunshine, rainbows and candyfloss." Harbinger self destructed in a big explosion in response to this. "Alright, now that Harbinger is dead we must come to the consensus of who is best Pony." "I think Scootaloo is best Pony." said a Reaper next to him. "BLASPHEMY!" The Reaper shattered the other Reaper's body apart with a powerful blast of a red laser. "Well I think Derpy Hooves is best Pony." Many of the Reaper blasted their horns back in anger at that Reaper, however there was also many that fires lasers into the air as a sign of agreement. "Nuh-uh, everyone knows Pinkie Pie is best Pony!" "No way, Applejack is best Pony!" "No! Sweetie Belle is best Pony!" "Twilight Sparkle is best Pony!" "Nope, Rainbow Dash is best Pony." "Princess Celestia is best Pony!" "No! Princess Luna is best Pony! All the Reapers then began to argue with one another while indiscriminately shouting who they thought was best Pony. One Reaper destroyed another Reaper by blasting it with it's laser, resulting in all hell breaking loose as the Reapers began to fight among themselves by tearing each other apart with their lasers. Hours later had passed and the Reapers were no longer fighting while they looked at the many thousand dead Reapers that had died as a result of the argument. "Look at us, we're no better than Harbinger!" All the Reapers started hugging one another and crying in their grief. "Let's all sing Pony songs together to truly embrace the magic of friendship and end our wicked ways once and for all." And so the Reapers happily sang songs together.... ************** "… and that's how the Reapers discovered the magic of friendship. The end." said Pinkie Pie finishing the last sentence of a red book to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, whom were sat on the floor while gathered around Pinkie Pie, who was sitting on a wooden stool inside their clubhouse. Apple Bloom raised her right hoof in the air. "I have a question!" "Yes Apple Bloom, what is it?" "Our entire lives are nothing but a TV show?" "Yes, that's the multiverse for you! Any other questions? Sweetie Belle raised her left hoof in the air. "Yes Sweetie Belle?" "How are Reapers made?" "Um, I'll tell you that when you're older. Just know that they don't do that anymore." "How did the Reapers get here?" said Scootaloo. A huge pink Reaper just outside the window can be seen carefully walking through the Apple Orchard with dozens of Ponies sleeping peacefully on it's back. "Oh they made a trans-dimensional portal to access our universe in order to be with us." "And what are they doing here?" asked Apple Bloom. "Worshiping us as Gods and protecting us against all those who would seek to harm us." "Oh." "But are they truly good now?" said Sweetie Belle. "They've been with us for a thousand years, I think they've turned good." "Alright, if you say so." "Any more questions?" All three Cutie Mark Crusaders raise their hooves making Pinkie sigh in annoyance. "You all have a million questions don't you?" All three nod their heads. "Well... "She stood up off the stool." ask Twilight then." Pinkie Pie ran out of the clubhouse at lightning like speed. The End In the Normandy Bridge Joker looked over with concern at Commander Shepard who rubbed his forehead while groaning in pain. "Shepard, are you OK? "What's wrong Commander?" said EDI. "I'm fine! I just have a strange feeling that something really weird has happened." Joker raised an eye brow while giving Shepard a weird look. "What are you a Jedi or something?" Commander Shepard crossed his arms glaring at Joker. "Really Joker, you just had to make a Star Wars reference there?" "That's a bad joke Joker." "Shut up EDI! At least I tell the odd good joke!" ************** At the edge of the Milky Way Galaxy all the Reapers were holding tentacles (hands) while singing Pinkie Pie's Smile Song together.
  7. So, Bioware posted the picture featured in the spoiler, on their Facebook page. It's Pinkie Pie in N7 armor, similar to what characters in Mass Effect 3 wore. They got a lot of responses similar to the ones featured in the same picture. They responded to such hatred and anger with this post. The man who wrote that response, is a boss. Plain and simple. My only issue with the picture is that the artist spelled "Pinkie" wrong. haha Contextual edit: For those that might not know, there's a part in Mass Effect 2 where someone asks you to record a message saying who you are and that their store is your favorite on the Citadel. And you can say it at several different stores. It became a bit of a cult classic line for fans of the series. Here's a video I found on Youtube of Shepard saying the line at the different stores. http-~~-//
  8. So Bioware released today the Extended Cut ending for Mess Effect 3. In effect, to give closure to all those that were complaining that the choices you made in all three games came down to variations of three color coordinated endings. I'm currently in the middle of downloading the DLC and it's 1.85 GB. And a part of me can't help but be discouraged by this. I fully enjoyed the ending I got. (For those wondering I was Paragon with the Green ending.) I thought the way it ended wasn't the best by any means and there were holes in plot and continuity but it was an ending overall that I was satisfied with. But since we all know Bioware saw endless hell for the ending, they've done something I had hoped they never would. They've released more content to sate the masses. And I can't help but feel like this DLC is going to be 1.85 gigs of fan service. Which just doesn't sit well with me. So, thoughts on the Mass Effect 3 ending? On the new DLC? Side note: Try to be mindful of spoilers on the DLC. North America gets it today, the rest of the world has to wait until July 4th. Respect our faraway friends!