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  1. in my newest one act screenplay, Harmonic "Sexiest person on Earth" Revelations, and George "Scissors" Trenton must escape the clutches of a murderer named Happymeister. It is full of amazingness, and the full thing is below. Screenplay Characters: George "Scissors" Trenton Happymeister "Homicidal" Friendlison Harmonic "The Sexiest person on Earth" Revelations Alexis "I'm Filler to add a second female character" McPointless Start: (Lights come on, exposing the set which appears to be a dirty prison, in one cell you can see George and Harmonic, outside the cell you can see Happymeister and Alexis) Harmonic: You'll never get away with this! Happymeister: O rly? Harmonic: Ya rly. Happymeister: Slap him with the fish. *Alexis pushes a button, causing a robotic hand to extend from the cell wall and slap Harmonic with a fish* Harmonic: Your meager fish technology cannot seduce me, Mrs. Prostitute McLoose *Alexis stands in stunned silence* George: Harmonic, you're so great, you're the best! Harmonic: I know, George, I know. Happymeister: I will be back to kill you later. *Happymeister and Alexis walk backstage, presumably to get it on* George: I know what to do! Harmonic: You do? Usually that's my job. George: Shut up, I'm the protagonist, you're only the deutagonist Harmonic: Really? How many more lines do I have than you? Exactly. *George lets out a heavy sigh before producing the chainsaw hidden inside of the wall panel with a poster of the Mrs. Butterworth brand of maple syrup, with the word sticky across the bottom* Harmonic: Cheese and crackers! THAT JUST MIGHT WORK! George: I know, I'm a genius. Harmonic: Yet again, that is usually my job. *George starts cutting open the cell bars* George: This is why they call me Scissors *George finishs cutting bars* George: Let's run! Harmonic: I can't. George: Why not? Harmonic: I can't run with scissors. END
  2. 54 Flaming monkeys at sea They are not beautiful, pretty like me Echidnas fly out of their faces and explode destroying the places The monkeys attack the little critters Eating some avocado-watermelon fritters Flaming Wheelchairs fall from the sky They are not clever or witty as I The town and the city burns to the ground Not a single ATM to be found from the sky, darkened ash falls I am most definitely tripping serious balls As the clock ticks by, slipping away counting up to the very next day I sit there, looking at once was a city yet I cannot feel any pity For I am a robot squid zombie wizard, who can play ping pong and conjure up blizzards Shooting lamp posts out of my hand I sustain myself by eating rubber bands Marco can not play tribes very well It's because he doesn't play much he will tell He doesn't have much tactic to refer to Some line about something should be here, shoe I am very tired, writing this thing the stream's title has a very nice ring I have no idea what I'm talking about At your face I will throw a trout
  3. We are ready. Now is the time. Are you ready, forums? Marco is ready. [8:00:02 PM] Harmonic Revelations: Marco, now is the time. [8:00:17 PM] Marco Paparatto: hm? [8:00:28 PM] Harmonic Revelations: Artemis is ready to initiate the plan [8:00:40 PM] Harmonic Revelations: Are you ready? [8:01:01 PM] Marco Paparatto: wat? [8:01:09 PM] Harmonic Revelations: Alright, you get behind her and I'll push. [8:03:31 PM] Harmonic Revelations: I have the sticks of butter necessary. [8:03:46 PM] Harmonic Revelations: Did you bring the steam roller? Artemis is ready. Chigens and Kay is ready.
  4. Unofficial MLP Forums Census With your host, Harmonic Revelations If you have any questions, concerns, or comments that are not addressed below, please post. Discussion of the census itself also belongs in this thread. What is this? What is this? Well I'm glad you asked, hypothetical user that only exists in the darkest crevices of my mind. This is an unofficial census that I hope to do yearly in order to see shifts of opinion and standing in the community, particularly here on the forums. The questions cover a wide variety of topics and provide plenty of choices. If it's a question with another possible answer, I will have included the "other" option, wherein you can specify your beliefs via comment. Every year, voting will start on April 15th, and end on May 1st. After that point, I'm going to tally the results, and generally catalog this data. The data will be posted here. Next year, the same thing will happen. Data will be sorted by year below. This is in essence an extension of my attempt to bring the forums closer together, as I did with my interview series. Through this, we can create a more tightly-knit and friendlier community. Why is there a thread? Since I'm hoping to do this every year, it is much easier on my part if there is a thread to compile the results into, furthermore, it spreads the exposure of the census itself to the users, providing more votes and thus more precise and accurate results. This thread also exists in case you have any questions, comments, or concerns, or just want to talk about the census itself. Another reason for this is that as you may have guessed it's a way more organized way to conduct the census. Where can I participate? Right here (Poll is already closed for this year), it's completely anonymous. Voting starts April 15th and ends May 1st. At the time of this thread's creation, voting has just started. There are no special requirements to participate, if you're here, then you are eligible to participate in the census. What will the results be used for? The results will be kept anonymous, however, the actual percentages and numbers may ,for example, be used in a research paper about wealth distribution on the forums. This can be a useful resource, and since this is planned to be done yearly, it will always be up to date information. As you can probably guess, this will be invaluable to those reporting on our forums, and can just generally lead to a deeper understanding of each other. Results will be tallied and posted in this thread on May 1st. Census Results by Year: 2013: Which of the following do you support (check all that apply)? Gay Marriage (58 votes [29%]) Legal Narcotics (28 votes [14%]) Researching Clean Energy (62 votes [31%]) Animal Rights (54 votes [27%]) None of the above (2 votes [1%]) How many people besides yourself live with you? 0 (1 votes [2%]) 1 (8 votes [11%]) 2 (23 votes [30%]) 3 (26 votes [33%]) 4 (16 votes [21%]) Other (Specify in post) (5 votes [7%]) Do you play sports (And how often)? All the time (4 votes [6%]) Often (5 votes [7%]) Sometimes (30 votes [38%]) Never (39 votes [50%]) Other (Specify) (1 votes [2%]) Have you ever attended Bronycon and do you attend regularly? I attend regularly (2 votes [3%]) I have attended before, but not regularly. (1 votes [2%]) I have not attended Bronycon. (76 votes [97%]) Do you support gun control? Yes (25 votes [32%]) No (27 votes [35%]) Maybe (25 votes [32%]) Other (Specify in post) (2 votes [3%]) What economic standing are you in? I'm in the 1% (2 votes [3%]) Upper Class (5 votes [7%]) Middle Class (63 votes [80%]) Lower Class (8 votes [11%]) Other (Specify in Post) (1 votes [2%]) How often do you use this site? As often as possible (29 votes [37%]) Very often (36 votes [46%]) Often (6 votes [8%]) Sometimes (4 votes [6%]) Infrequently (4 votes [6%]) Are you satisfied with the site's staff team? Yes (66 votes [84%]) Somewhat (9 votes [12%]) No (4 votes [6%]) Other (Specify in Post) (0 votes [0%]) Would you be interested in participating in future census of this type? Yes (61 votes [78%]) No (1 votes [2%]) Possibly (17 votes [22%])
  5. So last night, @Key Gear did a very dangerous thing, he asked if he could step into my mind for a moment. This is possibly more insane than anything I myself could ever even suggest doing. So let's look into the darkest corners of my mind, and discover what awaits us. We'll talk about things I've done, things I've said, and well yeah, this is gonna be a long one so just sit right back. There are many wonders here but there are also horrible, disturbing things in my mind. You have been warned. Let's start by talking about my temperament. Generally, I'm a level headed person, and for this I have quite a bit of merit in my arguments. I'm the kind of person who argued in favor of drugs in those anti-drug programs and made valid points. Debating is a skill I have carried with me all my life. However, sometimes, I do something often observed in humans. Scientifically it is known as "Losing your shit". It has been observed in every human ever. This leads me to be a serious type when I need to be. However, sometimes, that's not what a situation calls for. Sometimes, people just take things too seriously, or, maybe, maybe someone is just stupid. Let's say for a second that someone is making an incredibly invalid and homophobic,sexist, and racist argument. They deserve nothing in response but cynicism and if they're just that kind of person, an abusive behavior report. However, I don't like to be mean spirited, most of the time, I'm just playful. At best, I can be energetic and inspiring, at worst, I can be insane and irrational. There is no black and white way to cut my mind. If you cut my mind down the center, you'd see the inside of my mind, and then you'd see police cars pulling into your driveway, but that is beside the point. Onto the more eccentric parts of my personality. Let's talk about for a bit about my sense of humor. The following is very disturbing, and you should probably leave your sanity on this paragraph and come back for it later lest it be damaged by reading the following. What do I think qualifies as funny? My ego says everything that I say is side-splitting hilarious, but that's not what I use to make people laugh. In order to truly be funny, you have to be random, yet you also have to be relevant. The best way of explaining it is that while you have to understand timing intimately. Sometimes joking about horrible things really can be funny, but before you make a joke, you need to understand your audience. You have to understand the temperament of the people you're talking to. Some people can take jokes and some can't, that's just the way things are. All you can do in order to be more funny is to embrace the audience you're speaking to. Another thing about humor is that you need to think from the audience's point of view. If you were the person you are telling the joke to, would you laugh? If the answer is no you probably shouldn't tell the joke. Although it is kind of hard to be that subjective when you don't know the person well, so sometimes you just have to take the chance and hope things turn out well. Let's talk then about some specific things and people, woohoo for shout outs, I suppose. Let's start by talking about someone I like very very much, Dawn Rider. Dawn Rider just recently became a staff member, and is already doing very many wonderful things. Dawn Rider is such a nice person, that I feel bad swearing infront of them, that is just how great they are, he knows how to take a joke, and yet he is just so pure intentioned that I can't help but not joke about him anyway. Then we have people like Marco ~ Ace Attorney, the nicest person on the Earth. He lives in New Jersey, so a lot of bad things have already happened to him, I'm sure. But he can take a joke, and I'm not afraid to joke around with him. He is level headed, which is why I think he is probably one of the most helpful people around. Key Gear appears to be the same way in that he knows how to joke around. As for my ego, this is something that has been brought up a lot. I have a humongous ego, one that might even be too hard to grasp at all. I try to make up for having a huge ego by being completely honest about it. And on some levels, I exaggerate how narcissistic I am for comedic effect, in case you were wondering. Now onto one of my flaws, I'm very raunchy. I am not able to hide that, it's just something that I have, and it's something that I'm good at controlling, but under the right circumstances, it shows, it really does. Another flaw of mine is that I hate admitting I'm wrong, if you can get to me admit I have made a mistake, I must really, really, like you. That is a bit of insight into the workings of my mind. I hope it helped.
  6. I have started my ultimate quest to make a Tulpa. I know that sounds ridiculous, but as a wise man named Bon Jovi once said,"it's my life, it's now or never." Also, I seek companionship. So anyways, to start off, I found a guide. The guide said that it could be anything, even a rock. So I was starting to visualize Carrie Underwood but decided against it. So anyways, I started working on the perfect personality for a companion to the world's most cynical smart-ass pervert. As you can imagine, the appearance I imagined was something you'd only find if you searched DeviantArt with the safe filter off. Luckily for me, I'm into that kind of thing. So my Tulpa is going to be a mare pony, I established that, the main reason I decided that is that if I didn't start off with a base shape I'd start to imagine insane creatures possibly the likeness of No-face from Spirited Away.. As for personality, I went with personality traits like smart, seductive, kind, sexy, understanding, kinky, good sense of humor, passionate. All the normal things people like me look for in a companion. And why not? If I'm going to be spending the rest of forever with this being, they might as well be designed in a way so that I will enjoy their presence. And would that not be the greatest thing ever for someone like me, who has abandonment issues due to my father? Plus, creating a hallucination is less expensive than a therapist. I know it will be draining, but that's the point. At least I will feel like I've accomplished something if I succeed, and if I fail it's nothing that therapy can't handle. "Now explain to me again, Harmonic, why you were imaging a pony mistress?" Taking time to conceptualize a hallucination seems foolish but is all-in-all a great way to keep myself entertained and it's not abnormal for me, since i've done Satanic Rituals out of boredom before. Anyways, I'll keep you updated about my magical adventures and eventually we'll figure out how this ends up turning out. Follow my blog for updates. Feel free to leave questions, comments, concerns and pure unadulterated rage in the comments below.
  7. Unofficial MLP Forum Census 2013 More info available in the thread here. This is an unofficial census I'm holding for the community. It will hopefully show our standing both in our beliefs and our standing in society, namely of the forum as a whole. This is a way that we can bring the community together all while generally learning more about the opinions and standing of the fellow members that we may or may not pay attention to otherwise. Some key points to mention: The results are anonymous The voting starts April 15th, and ends Midnight, May 1st (EST) If you quote the results of this census, please properly refer back to the thread or back to this blog if you are using data from this particular year. Answer all questions honestly to avoid distorting the data
  8. It's been so long, so long since I have last slept. I lie awake at night, my darling, and all I can think of is you. Why I ever chose to leave, is merely completely beyond my understanding. I lay in wait for the day that I am told that I am to return to you. As I sit there, beyond the stars and dreams and hopes I have birthed, I have to wonder, just how far, just how far it takes to see you again. as our connection has been clear since naissance, please return to me, love. Have I lost all that once made me the man that fell in love? That is a question that will have no definitive answer, as I am far too long-lived to see anything in a new light. The light that I live in now is a monotone gray, and it shields my eyes from all beauty. Many have tried to describe to me the love and life I once knew, but that feeling is empty, and can only serve to bring forth tears from me, signs of a weakness that this trip was supposed to leave behind. The stars glisten with an amber light, but I find it meaningless unless that light is illuminating the one thing that could make me happy in this entire universe, you, my love. I feel that I am empty inside, I am as hollow and lifeless as the metal that this room is made of, Alas, I cannot return, I am far beyond hope and the passion that we once felt. The man that you knew died long ago, and now the hollow shell that once held him has come close to it's ending, to it's eternal rest. I retire to an existence of pure melancholy. I don't feel anymore, I don't feel anything, except for the need to see you. I can't think without you enveloping my thoughts. Thoughts that in themselves have long ago succumbed to an eternal darkness that took hold in the very roots of my foundation. I'm sorry.
  9. Previous Article: Nobody in the modern world will probably say that there is a day that goes by when we don't have problems. And not only that, but world wide problems are approached from a variety of angles, and while I don't have ALL the answers, I decided I should at least give one of the solutions. Note: I did not say this would be an easy solution, but I'm not going to say that this is impossible either. I can guarantee that this solution is absolutely Rambo-scale bad ass, though. World Hunger, and how to solve it World hunger is no doubt a problem that people have been trying to solve ever since it sprung up. With so many people starving to death, we have tried a lot of solutions to this particular problem. While people in the developed world worry about what they're going to have for dinner, people in some parts of the world worry if they're going to eat anything for the next several days. Such an appalling problem led to a lot of public outcry, so we have done a lot, yet to no avail. Yes, world hunger is still a problem. Solutions we usually try: So most of the time we end up sending support to these countries. We'll send over people in order to supply these nations with food and water. They also occasionally provide community building services like building houses and schools that could be destroyed by a stiff breeze (Who knew that sending people with no experience building anything to build communities could end horribly wrong). Now onto why these efforts don't work: Well, first of all, eventually our support pulls out. This is apparently due to people forgetting that food and water is kind of something that people need constant access to. And even the things they supposedly put there to help the community (Like buildings) as I have mentioned above are defective, I should mention that this is kind of a problem we need experts to help with, and not some volunteers. But of course, the lack of profit in it severely limits how many professionals are willing to work on it since this world is based on greed. My Badass Solution: Terraform Mars Yes, you read that correctly. I suggest that we start a project to condition Mars' atmosphere until it can support life. Such an endeavor is only estimated to take a few hundred years. And considering how long it took us to do a lot of pointless things, colonizing Mars would solve TWO problems. One, once it can support life and has it's own ecosystem, it would provide more area for farming. And considering the fact that commercial space travel just recently became a thing, we can definitely have some kind of system for transferring supplies between Earth and Mars. This would not only solve World Hunger by providing more resources, but it would do something else too. It could solve overpopulation. People could move to Mars, and the population density could change to make life better on Earth. And since we know more about how the environment works now than we ever did, we would hopefully be smart enough not to pollute Mars. As for constant food on Mars until we make it able to support life? Well, recently scientists learned how to GROW EDIBLE MEAT in labs, so we could do that. "But..Harmonic, the world is based on greed, nobody will colonize Mars!", Well, voice in my head, I'm glad you brought up that point. Let me point out that for multiple reasons, colonizing mars is extremely profitable. Be it maybe for the tons of unclaimed land that these corporations could stake claim to, or be it for the fact that space travel is bad ass enough that travel agencies would definitely rake in the dough from the rich people who want to got o space. Even if private corporations don't do it, it could still be a government endeavor. We just build up Mars until it is self-sufficient, and hope that Demons do not invade.
  10. Previous Countdown List: So this time, I'm mixing it up, and we'll be doing something about a lighter topic than usual, we'll be talking about video games. Today we'll be talking about what are (In my opinion, of course) the most intimidating enemies and enemy factions in modern video games (Because if I included classic video games this would quickly turn into a list that just feels repetitive, there are many articles about classic video game enemies out there, and I may do a list like that some time). Be it for gameplay reasons, story reasons, or otherwise, I will talk about the different enemies I find most intimidating. ⚠Spoilers Beyond this point!⚠ _______________________________________ 5: HECU (Half-Life) Okay, where do I start? A thing that comes up immediately is the fact that they have the upper hand on you when first encountered, especially since you originally think they are in the facility to help you and the other members of the Black Mesa Staff escape from the facility. Not to mention, at the time of Half-Life's release, the HECU marines had some of (if not THE) most advanced AI that had been seen in the video game industry. They use group tactics, take cover, and even use grenades. This is brought up to eleven in Black Mesa wherein it only takes them a fraction of a second to target you and start firing due to their coding. Plus they have vehicle support, which is very bad news for you if you don't have a good strategy to deal Apache Helicopter that comes out of absolutely no where and starts handing out bullets like candy, and by handing out I mean pumping them directly into your face. Let's just say that the damn dam was damn hard. 4: Infected (Left 4 Dead) The infected are a simple variation of the common zombie often seen in folk lore. What makes the infected from Left 4 Dead special? It has quite a bit to do with the fact that they retain human motor functions, and thus can run. They can run so well, in fact, that they run faster than the survivors. Another thing about the infected is just how many of them there are. They are literally everywhere. The special infected are extremely powerful and it's quite easy to die by their hands (or whatever else they mutated to have). Jockeys, smokers, and chargers are by far the worst. Mostly since the first two are more annoying than harmful and the second way is way too common for an enemy that tough. Of course It's all okay in Left 4 Dead 2, because we have Coach, the one man cheeseburger apocalypse to accompany us through the apocalypse. 3: Deadites (Evil Dead) You may only remember Evil Dead for the movies, which is understandable, since in my opinion, Army of Darkness is the best movie ever. However, it wasn't so long ago that two Evil Dead video games were released (A fistful of Boomstick, and my personal favorite, Regeneration), which is why it's included on this list. Anyways, if you think there is any reason you should not be afraid of Demons that require the almighty one liners from Bruce Campbell to defeat, then you are very insane brave. The deadites are vicious and every time you see one they try to roll out the red carpet, except instead of carpet it's your blood. Combined with the varieties on this ancient evil, there is really no shortage of reasons that these bastards are terrifying. However, if you've ever played the Evil Dead games, you are probably chemically addicted to Bruce Campbell (As I am). It gets easier though, especially once you end up getting the rocket boomstick at the Junkyard. 2: The Covenant (Halo series) The Covenant are pretty much the definition of intimidating. They have far superior technology to humans, and just generally annihilate everything in their path. At the beginning of the Human-Covenant war, humans have several hundred colonies, by the end of it, they only have Earth left. The Covenant is comprised of intimidating creatures (Minus the grunts) led by completely insane indivisuals (The Prophets/San Shy'uum, depending on how you wish to spell or say it). If it was not for the Great Schism, then the humans probably would have lost the war. By the end of the war, they have wiped out billions of people and almost pushed humanity to extinction. Plus their religious beliefs give a very clear view of just how insane the Covenant art (Except Jackals, who are just mercenaries). 1: The Combine (Half-Life 2) And here we are, back at the Half-Life series. I somehow anticipated I'd end up back here. The Combine (Or Universal Union) as they refer to themselves, are just plain evil, yet ominious. Their true intentions are never fully revealed, except that they have enslaved humanity and are stealing resources away from Earth. The worst part is that there is absolutely nothing the humans can do about it. The Combine take humans into various chambers and bioengineer them into merciless killing machines, and since they're engineered from humans they are perfect for warefare on Earth, it's ingenius. Not to mention the Synths they have, which are devastating combinations of biological life and mechanical parts. Even if their strategy fails, they STILL have the upper hand, because according to all accounts, the Combine are INTERDIMENSIONAL. That is an absolutely huge deal and if anyone reading this would not be freaked out by being attacked by an army that can travel through dimensions, you are insane, and probably the same reader who said that demons would not intimidate them. One of the scariest things is that you never fully understand why they don't just destroy Earth, what with the rebellion and all that, and yet nothing is stopping them from doing just that.
  11. Previous Countdown List: Us bronies don't deserve to be hated, and that's true, however, lots of times we make false assumptions about everything involving the fandom. I hope that by pointing them out, it can at least help people become more logical. I'm here to clear up a few things. #5: Non-Bronies are always haters This is a logical fallacy I see fairly often in the fandom. Why people believe that non-bronies are always haters is something that escapes my understanding. That is like saying everyone who prefers Pepsi has a death-wish against the Coca-Cola company, it's not true, and it doesn't even look true if you squint at it sideways from fifty yards away. Haters exist and non-bronies exist, but that is not an interchangeable term. As the name implies, being a non-brony means you're not a brony, simple as that. And being a hater implies you hate, see? Very simple. #4: Who your favorite pony is matters While it's nice to know, it's not something you need to convince people to. Converting someone to your favorite pony is like convincing someone the color orange is superior to the color blue. It's an opinion question and a petty one at that. Why waste your time arguing about who the best pony is instead of say...explaining why you like your favorite pony in a very long several paragraph essay-type thing (CD has the right idea, although Discord isn't a pony, you get the idea). I'm not saying it doesn't matter to anyone, what I'm saying is that it's not worth starting a flame war about. #3: Being a brony means you're a nice person This one is not true in the slightest. While generally we're over all the nicest fandom around and this forum specifically might be the nicest place on the internet, it's not like that's because we're bronies. Correlation does not equal causation. I have seen many people who are bronies and also happen to be jack-asses, and I've seen nice non-bronies. Being a brony doesn't indicate anything except that you like the show. #2: The fandom is some kind of hive mind I see this very often in threads. People post like the entire fandom agrees about everything, all the time, twenty four seven. They say "we bronies believe yattayattayatta" which is not something that can be said. We're a very diverse group with a lot of different opinions. The main reason this is annoying is because they will often get defensive when you tell them that you have a different opinion, if not, they'll usually ignore you. It's especially bad when the opinion they claim is the generally held one in the fandom is when it's a very unpopular opinion. #1: Firebolt is not the coolest person ever. This is perhaps the strangest anomaly I ever see. I have seen people who actually believe that Firebolt is not the coolest person ever. That is a very strange belief, and I don't know where the rumor first sparked.
  12. Previous Countdown List: So I've seen people complain about moderators before. Me, having experience in this particular field, wanted to clarify a few things about the moderation here and why you should not complain. So I decided to compile a list of reasons that people who complain about moderation are not in the right in doing so. #1: Moderators are not Paid While on some sites they might be paid, on here, they are not. The moderators here use their own free time out of their own free will. So remember, you may be agitated by the things moderators do that you do not agree with, but you have to remember, they are doing this out of their own personal choice. So they're pretty much moderating out of the goodness of their hearts, and people should appreciate the time and effort they put into it. Moderators don't absolutely have to moderate, if they wanted they could resign and let this place fall into Anarchy, and that would be fun for approximately nobody. Pictured: A forum after all of the moderators went on break at the same time #2: Moderators here are some of the most fair on the internet The moderation here is some of the most efficient, yet somehow lenient moderation I have ever seen. This site's moderation is like a perfect equilibrium of moderation. Any less strict, the place turns into an absolute mess. Any more strict, this place turns into some kind of facist dictatorship. So if moderators here nail you for something you did, you probably deserved everything they did.You have to understand that every system we have in place on MLP Forums is in place for a reason. The character minimum may not seem like fun but it prevents this place from falling into absolute Chaos. If you actually respect the rules, you probably will not get into trouble. Compared to other websites, these moderators are some of the nicest, goofiest, and most lenient around. I greatly respect all of them for the work they do. Other websites are much more strict, and this site gives you plenty of wiggle-room. in fact, I make extremely strange threads everyday with the consistency of abstract-art and I've never had a brush up with the moderators. The moderators here are like angels, guys, except...they're not, and that brings me to my next point. #3: Moderators are just people As much of a shock as this may to come to some people, moderators are just human like the rest of us. Now before you go into a rant in the comments about automated moderation, be aware that I've been on a site like that. Literally every user on the website was banned in a week. Now you should know that while the moderators are not perfect, they are still some of the best around. They can't do EVERYTHING, and they should not have to do everything. Users should act responsibly and in accordance with the rules. If you simply follow the rules, then everything should be alright. If there is a misunderstanding, start a support ticket, and I'm sure you can settle it. The staff team here is incredibly understanding. But the fact the moderators are human leads me to another point, do not send them hate mail. It is a mean, rude, hateful, and generally distasteful thing to do. If you have ever sent a moderator hate mail you should be completely and utterly ashamed of yourself. Not only does that show disrespect for the rules, but it shows utter disrespect for the people who spend their FREE TIME to make this place a nice and friendly atmosphere for people like yourself. It makes them feel bad, I'm sure. You have to remember, there is a real person behind every username. And that real person has real feelings you can most definitely stir if you're a complete jackass. Do you really want to be this dick, and say 45% of moderators are leeches? I thought not. #4: Moderators don't make the rules singlehandedly Moderators do not necessarily create every rule they enforce. While generally they all agree with it as a whole. For this reason, there is not really a finger you can point at anyone in particular. Even if you could, these rules are necessary to keep this place friendly. I shouldn't have to say much about this, since anyone with common sense could piece this one together. The moderators generally pool together and make decisions, and believe it or not, these decisions are overwhelmingly for the better of the forums as a whole. They may not be perfect, but if something goes wrong because of one of their decisions, they can always revise it later. #5: Moderators like to have fun too Contrary to popular belief, moderators do not take up the position merely with the intent of crushing the dreams of everyone they encounter. Rather, they most likely do it out of their love for the site. They like to have fun just as much as anyone of us. However, when enforcing the rules, they have to be impartial, they cannot make decisions based on how much they like somebody, that would be extremely inefficient. Moderators may occasionally enjoy silliness too, so I doubt they enforce the rules for the express purpose of making little girls cry. These moderators are some of the goofiest mods I've ever seen and the funniest people I know. In addition to that, they do their jobs, and they do them well. The moderators here may not be perfect, but they're the finest moderators I've ever seen. Bless them. __________ Take these into consideration before complaining about the moderation team. If you really needed five reasons not to harass the moderators, you probably deserve what ever warning you to get anyway.
  13. Previous: Next: Unreleased Alexander approached the lever, and with a simple yet firm tug, it pulled downwards. The lever at first appeared to do nothing, However, after waiting a few moments, the stone circle started to turn, and glow. The soldiers were speechless. The apparatus continued to glow bright until a loud crashing noise occurred and the entire inner part of the circle was lit up. On the other side, brightly colored green grass was there, it almost looked surreal. The men just stood there and stared for a while. The sergeant picked up his radio and talked, "Foxtrot we have discovered what appears to be a portal. Everything we know about physics says that this is impossible." "This indeed changes everything." The sergeant took a deep breath, and said "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." He said. He then did something no one was expecting, and signaled the other soldiers to follow him into the portal. The soldiers hesitantly followed the sergeant through the portal. Touching the portal gave them a surreal feeling, but the transition between worlds was seamless. However, as opposed to the bright skies they saw through the portal, they appeared to be in some kind of castle. They saw two ponies wearing armor. "What the!?" The ponies both yelled simultaneously. Some of the soldiers made a run for it, jumping through the windows and onto the roof, where they sprinted for the nearest way out of the castle they could find. Alex however, was not a quick enough thinker, he was tackled and held down by these two ponies. He had no means to fight back, his gun was too hard to aim while being held to the ground and his knife was out of reach. A larger pony entered the room, Alex could say it stood about a foot taller than him, followed by a darker colored one closer to Alex's height. "What is this?" Celestia questioned, moving her face closer to inspect Alex. "I should be asking the same question." Alex managed to say. An audible gasp emitted from all the ponies in the room. They looked at Alex in amazement. "It talks?" Luna asked. "It? I'd prefer he." Alex replied. Both of the princesses looked at the soldiers and spoke. "Keep him here, we're going to get the Elements." they said simultaneously before teleporting. _________________________________________________________________________________ In Twilight's library "Twilight, what kind of tea did you say you wanted?" Spike asked. "Green, please." Twilight replied. Spike nodded and headed to the kitchen so he could prepare Twilight's tea. She was planning to do some vigorous studying tonight. Spike was starting to make the tea, when a knock came on the door. "Who could it be at this hour?" Spike asked, it was pretty late and almost everypony was asleep by this time. He approached the door and opened it. Outside stood Celestia and Luna. "Spike, we need to talk to Twilight." Celestia said. Spike only nodded, it wasn't his business what the princesses wanted, after all. He ran back to the room Twilight was in, and spoke to her. "Twilight, the princesses are here and they want to see you." He said. Twilight jolted up right at this and trotted to the door. He was slightly embarrassed and worried about Spike having left them outside. She would invite them inside for any reason at all. She approached the door, and sure enough, both her mentor and her mentor's younger sister were standing outside. "Twilight, we need to talk." Celestia said. "About what?" She asked. "About the ancient portal in the archives." Celestia said. Twilight looked a bit stunned at this, she knew of the portal in the archives, it was one of Clover the Clever's artifacts he built in the days of old. What she also knew however was that as far as the princesses knew, it was a failure. Clover theorized that several universes may exist in a multiverse. "What happened?" Twilight asked. "It's been activated." Luna said. She had a worried look on her face. "And what's wrong with that?" Twilight said, she was actually excited about this. Such a magical artifact is very powerful and with Clover the Clever's reputation preceding him, she expected it to be something amazing. "Well, something came through the portal." Celestia said. "What? Really? Are you trying to say..." Twilight started to say before being interrupted by Luna. "Yes, and it's alive. Well actually, there were several, but a few of them ran. The guards did manage to capture one. The strangest part is the fact that they appear to speak our language, the one we captured has a tag on what we assume is his clothing. It says 'Lance Corporal Alex Gray'." Twilight looked extremely shocked. This was possibly the most exciting thing that she has been alive for, this almost rivals when she was accepted into Celestia's School for gifted Unicorns. She looked up at Celestia, Twilight knew what she was going to say before she said it. "Gather your friends, we're going to the castle." Celestia said. ______________________ Meanwhile, with Foxtrot 24... "Sir, do you hear that?" one of the soldiers said, referring to his commanding officer. "Hear what?" He replied. "That noise, it almost sounds like some kind of liquid moving, like a gurgling." He replied. The soldiers looked around and readied their weapons. All at once, the doors along the corridor unlocked. Some kind of black liquid was seeping underneath the doors. It was slowly creeping towards the soldiers. "What is this?" Phoenix said. Phoenix was the commanding officer, and not knowing what this was was bad news for the entire squad. "Sir?" One of his soldiers called out to him. "Yes?" He said, turning around. "Why is there two of you?" The soldier asked. "What do you mean, two of me?" He said, almost to answer his question, a tap on his shoulder came, and he turned around to see....himself. "What the..." Phoenix said, before being punched in the face by this apparent doppleganger. Every detail was the same, right up the suit, the only thing missing was the rifle. "I'll be taking that." The clone said, before stepping on Phoenix's neck and taking the rifle. The soldiers nearby started firing at the identical twin now standing over their commander. As the bullets hit the clone, black liquid shot out him. They kept firing until he hit the ground. Some of the black liquid on the ground formed into another heap, and it started to form into another clone of Phoenix.
  14. The following expresses only the opinion of the author, not necessarily that of the staff or the users. This is my guide to posting on the forums. I know that some of you cringed at the thought of some people taking my advice on posting on the forums, don't worry about it, take some anteacid and just relax. It's just for people who want a little advice on how to post, in an easy numbered list for easy viewing. I'm not plotting to destroy anyone at the moment, so you are safe. If you follow this simple guide you to can both be a reputable and valuable member of the forums while simultaneously decreasing the work load of the moderators. #1: Respect your fellow forumites This is one that a lot of people need to take to heart. The problem with not doing this is not as prevalent on this forum as it is on others I've seen, but the problem still emerges from time to time, so I'm going to talk about it. You know how it happens, you're reading through a thread and someone may say something a bit unusual and then someone comes and drills them about it. There is a fine line between correcting someone and being a complete dick, and it's a line that you need to understand before you post in any debate. The line is respect, if you do not understand what respect means to me, or how to spell respect, then you have no childhood. But you know what's an even worse and more despicable? Drilling someone for a harmless opinion. I've seen it happen, someone gingerly posts in a thread and within an hour the entire thread is a war zone. I can understand being a bit upset if someone says something that's a bit offensive, but you have to remember, it's no better to point them out on it. It's best to report them for abusive behavior, because chances are if it offends you, one of a few things are true; A.) Other People are offended to (Report them) B.) You're overreacting or misunderstanding the post (Make sure you understand what you're reading before calling judgement) Because of B, many times people who get offended by an opinion are at no fault but their own for their anger or sadness. Remember when posting that there are very real people behind every username here, and that they too have lives and feelings. #2: Don't Derail Threads Absolutely one of the easiest offenses you can make, making a pointless or off-topic post that ends up derailing a thread. Not only is doing that disrespectful to the OP, but it's not going to do anything but make you look like a fool. Making a joke is okay, if it's relevant. But do not go into a thread about the meat industry and start spurting jokes about rocket controlled flying potted plants. If you have something you need to say to someone, and it has nothing to do with the thread, I can help you out with a simple link. Send them a PM: If it's something that doesn't need to be said to anyone in particular, and may be a bit silly/doesn't fit anywhere else, feel free to use the forum lounge: At the very least, try to remember that the OP made whatever thread they did for a reason, and you'd be doing the entire community a disservice by trying to derail the discussion. #3:Don't make posts that tell people to brohoof This is going to be a short description since it's fairly simple, and it's a mistake I see a bunch of new posters making. Do not tell people to brohoof your posts, not only does it make you look desperate but I for one NEVER brohoof a post that says to, even if I would have if it did not have that bit of request at the end. And chances are, believe it or not, if you have to retroactively tell people to like your post it's probably not a very good post to begin with. People will brohoof a post if they like it, it doesn't need some kind of prompt to do it. #4:Don't discredit other people/news for no reason You know what I'm talking about. In a thread about good news, there is a guy who will say how it could have been better or how it's part of some secret conspiracy to replace us all with clones of Tom Hanks. While they may or may not be right, they are just being jerks by doing that, unless they word it a very specific way. Because unless you think about what you're typing, you could sound to be insulting a person or group that has legitimately done a good deed. And as you all know, receiving criticism for saving puppies from a burning building does not make the recipient of said criticism feel good. It also makes you look like an insensitive prick, especially if the person posting the criticism has never done such a deed themselves. Someone does not deserve criticism for donating to the rebuilding of an orphanage, and for some reason, some people seem to find that surprising, or at least their posting history implies such surprise. #5:Don't preach doom This is the one that happens all the time on these forums, and you know what I'm talking about. Twilicorn caused this on a biblical level; if you're not familiar with such things, a doom sayer's post most likely reads like some variation of this: "Guys, we have just received news that a minor plot arc is taking effect. One that nobody knows anything about except the basic outline. We all know what this means, the end of the fandom. Guys, I'm sorry about this, but I'm going to have to leave because I am a drama queen/Attention-seeker" At least, that is how I read such posts. I'm sure a lot of you read them the same way. You know why? Because most of the time, these people are attention-seekers or just being dramatic for the sake of it. You know what the best way to deal with changes to the show is? Wait until they happen to pass judgement. It's the equivalent of if Game Informer had released a review of Halo 4 saying it was the worst game ever made four months before it's release. There's no way such predictions can be accurate. #6:Use proper grammar and spelling (To the best of your ability) This is not asking you to be Einstein and be a super genius master of the English language, but please, when you post, leave your text-speak at the door and put on your proper English. You do not need to post immaculate strings of text that rival the works of Shakespear, you need to type on such a level that people know what you're saying. The average violator of this makes posts that read something like this: "OMG Guaze u no dat 4 3 yers i wuz eh enngrish teechair butt i god shott oouwt de w1nd0ww width eh bulldozer becuze mi classe cud knot stend me" I know that if English is not your first language, it can be tough, but please, if your post is so bad that when you run it through spell check it looks like the red tide because of all the red wavy lines, then please, do not post it. I'm almost one hundred percent sure that if you take your time posting you can do better. If you can't do better, improve your English before posting. #7:Do not be raunchy, disgusting, or vulgar This is one that very specific users are responsible for. I won't name names because I'm a nice person, but I'm just going to describe it. This has become increasingly prevalent in Forum Lounge and I'm sure the mods do not appreciate it. We do not need graphic descriptions (Or worse, PICTURES) of sex or extreme violence. We do not want extreme detail in your text about sexual encounters. Leave that outside the forum. Usually, sexual innuendo is okay, maybe even a joke about it here or there, but not anything extreme, and do not target a specific user. It can be okay to make mature jokes, but do not dedicate a thread to things that are best left elsewhere. I AM going to point out a particular group that's responsible for this, the #Yiff group. Please, for the love of God, leave that shit at the door, or take it to furaffinity. Nobody wants to hear about your fetishes on this site, and even if they did, discussing it off-site is the best course of action. The reason of course I pointed out #Yiff is that's a blatant offender of this. Mainly because such topics can be ideologically offensive to a large number of people. I'm not targeting it because I'm against the people in such groups, but the thing is, that does not belong here, on this site. There is a good reason why making NSFW posts earns you at least 800 warning points. If you cannot stop making vulgar posts, this probably isn't the best place for you. ______________________ Follow this guide and you to may one day be a very reputable member of the forums
  15. Previous: Next: Alexander saw the sergeant board the dropship. He stood up near the entrance to the dropship. The sergeant then turned towards the cockpit and said: "Everyone is aboard. We're cleared for takeoff." as he said that, the pilot nodded and the craft started to lift off of the floor of the hanger. Alexander stared out the window of the craft as they flew into space. He could see the planet's glistening surface slightly, it was a mixture of white and pale blue, however, clouds obscured his sight significantly so it was hard to make out details. However, the thought of the scream he had heard aboard the Goliath was on his mind more than anything, and all he could wonder was why command did not at all seem alarmed by this. Mason turned his head towards Alex and started to speak. "You look a bit shaken up, you okay?" He asked with genuine concern. Mason was surprised at the pale look on Alex's face, especially since besides the sergeant, Alex was the bravest soldier in the squad. "I just saw something I'd rather forget.' Alex said in a neutral monotone voice. Mason did not pry further, and Alex saw that the planet was coming ever closer to their view. He knew that soon enough they would be on the planet's surface. He could see the finer details of the planet now, large ice structures appeared to protrude from the surface, they must be incredibly large to be able to see them from atmosphere. "Men, report to the APC, we're going to be planet side soon enough." He said, at that, all of the soldiers snapped to attention and headed for the APC in the back of the drop ship. They all climbed inside of the APC and took their positions. Alan would be driving as he was best at it, before he joined the marines he was a pilot and he wasn't too bad with ground vehicles either. Soon enough Alex could see that they had entered the planet's atmosphere, the surface was getting closer. "We're at the LZ, meet me back here when you have completed your objective." The pilot could be heard saying. After that, the APC was deployed, it touched the snow covered ground. An objective marker appeared on the solderis' HUDs. They started to drive in that direction. "So, not a standard insertion huh? This place looks absolutely deserted." Brandon says. "Tough shit, we're stuck here until we have what command is after." Mason said. Content with that, Brandon did not further discuss the subject. They turned their attention to the sergeant who was now talking into his radio. Alex could see through the window and saw Bravo 33's APC next to theirs as they traveled. "Foxtrot 24, do you read me, this is Delta 13, have you reached the caverns?" The sergeant said into his radio. "Affirmative, sir. Command has ordered our squad and Alpha 3 to go in ahead of you and report what we find." The reply came, audible to the entire squad. The sergeant stood up. "Men, let's review your equipment. You are armed with a H22-SAR, it is a standard assault rifle. You are also armed with a combat knife, a flashlight, and a gasmask with a strap at the back. This equipment will hopefully ensure that none of you die in the field, but no guarantees." The sergeant said. "But sir, this place is deserted. Nothing here would kill us anyway." Alex said. "We're not sure of the conditions in the caverns." the sergeant replied back. Alex was satisfied with that answer, but his mind was wild with images of what could be inside that command thought was so important. He was interrupted in his train of thought by Alan speaking up. "We are almost the entrance to the caverns." Alan said. The team loaded their rifles as he said this, they would be exiting the APC because the entrance to the caverns was too small for them to continue with it. Besides, it would be easier to investigate and retrieve the objective if they were on foot, whatever the objective is.The radio suddenly started: "Delta 13, we have proceeded relatively far into the structure. From what we can see, it is artificial, repeat, these caverns were built by someone...or something. It's relatively warm inside too, suggesting some kind of artificial or natural heat that the structure takes advantage of." The voice came back. The APC suddenly came to a halt, they were at the entrance to whatever this place was supposed to be. "Continue further into the caverns, we will regroup with you shortly." The sergeant said. Everyone except Alan piled out of the vehicle. The sergeant turned to Alan and spoke. "Alan, you and Bravo 33 will stay at the entrance." the sergeant said. After he said that, the soldiers looked into the relatively dark caverns, and turned on their flashlights. They started to head inside, they felt a warmth swoop over them as they entered. They noticed a glowing light at one end of the short cave, they approached it. The light blinked and the wall where the light was opened up in a three-way pattern of sorts, apparently it was a door. Brandon walked inside first. He signaled back an 'All-Clear'. The rest of the squad followed him into the large chamber. There appeared to be three doors they could go through, each with some strange symbol above them. It was not a language that appeared easily understood. Mason took a step towards one of the doors. "Sir, should we split up?" he asked. "No, I'm going to see which passage way Foxtrot and Alpha took, and we'll follow them, we can search subsequent passages on our way out." the sergeant said, before pulling out his radio. "Foxtrot, which door did you take from the main passageway." the sergeant said. Before Foxtrot could respond, Brandon started to speak. "Sir, I think I saw something behind that door." "Nonsense, there is nothing on the radar Private, you're paranoid." the sergeant replied. "We took the door to the left, Delta 13. We split up with Alpha 3, they took the door in the center." The reply came. "Roger that, we'll take the remaining passage, what do your surroundings look like right now?" The sergeant then signaled for the squad to head to the right, while simultaneously waiting for a response to his question.The squad started heading to the door, then they stepped inside. "Delta, we're held up in a large hall, it appears to have doors lined up on both sides, they all appear locked." "Roger that" Sergeant Renalds replied. The squad continued heading through the corridor that they now found themselves in. On the other end of the corridor there was yet another door, it too appeared unlocked. They headed towards it, and then stopped. "Corporal Gray, take point." The Sergeant said. Alex stepped ahead and towards the door, as he approached, it opened into what appeared to be a large chamber. At one end of the chamber was a large circular structure. There were three statues here. One appeared to be a unicorn, one a pegasus, and one a normal horse, although the proportions were off compared to an Earth horse. "It's all clear, sir...all clear." He said, as the squad followed him inside. They could now look at their surroundings better, on one side there were tapestries that appeared to have the sun on them, and on the other there side the tapestries bore the moon and stars. The chamber looked complex, next to the circular stone apparatus there was a lever. "You think this thing might still work?" Alexander said. "It's worth a try" the sergeant replied.
  16. Previous: None Next: (Notice: There may be mistakes because I do not yet have an editor, if you would be willing to fill that position let me know via PM or in the comments) Alexander jerked awake to the sound of the morning drill. It sounded every morning to wake up the crew, he was unsure why it still startled him so much. At least the sleeping quarters were relatively comfortable, which was to be expected, considering the United Human Marines was one of the most powerful human military branches; not to forget that the Goliath is one of the largest ships in the fleet. It sports two artilery canons on the front of the ship, living quarters for one hundred thousand crew members, and very powerful defense technology. Because of it's large storage capacity it is often used to explore previously undiscovered space since it can carry a lot of supplies necessary for human survival. Alex stood up, and brushed himself off. He walked over to the bathroom and went to brush his teeth, it was just another boring day. Even though the quarters were comfortable, the uniform gray color of the corridors disturbed him, the only thing comforting was that he was allowed to "customize" his sleeping quarters. He looked in the mirror. "I look like a mess," he remarked to himself. He then went and took care of his daily routine, shower, brushing his teeth, all of the usual. Once he was done with all of that, he walked back into the main part of the living quarters, and peered outside the window. He could see something in the distance, that was not unusual, but this was close, probably meaning he was going to be deployed to this planet's surface. As if to ensure his misery, the intercom sounded. "Squad Delta 13 to the Observation Deck ASAP" the voice of the AI Aristotle sounded. Alexander sighed and put on his uniform; then he grabbed his gun and walked through into the corridor. The grey walls were monotone and uniform, it would be easy to get lost if not for the signs to show you were to go. He followed the signs. He stopped once he noticed a guard that was blocking further advancement, he appeared to be standing in front of the door Alex needed to get through. Alex walked up to the guard. "Sorry sir, but there has been a problem down this wa-" the guard was cut off by a scream from behind the door. "Sir, it would be best if you found another way around." the guard said. Alexander only needed the scream to convince him to move along. Alex could only wonder what was going on behind that door as he continued down the corridor. The halls seemed relatively empty and quiet. He finally found the door to the Observation Deck. He put his gun into the holster and walked inside, to see the sergeant and the rest of his squad were standing in front of the holo-projector. Alexander stepped into line, and just hoped the sergeant wouldn't chew him out too much for being about a minute later than the rest of the squad. The sergeant just walked down the line and started to give them a briefing. "Men, we're near a planet designated Gelus, and we're going to be going down there. The reason for this is that the science team believes we're on the verge of a great discovery, they are picking up electromagnetic fields that they believe are not physically possible. For this reason, this will not be a standard insertion. We're going in with Bravo 33 to the first LZ, the second LZ will be landed at by Foxtrot 24 and Alpha 3. We're to regroup at what satellites show is an entrance to some sort of cavern," he states. The squad that Alex belongs to consists of the following: Alexander Gray (Himself) Rank: Lance Corporal Mason Jenkins Rank: Private First Class Richard Renalds Rank: Sergeant Major Alan Russo Rank: Lance Corporal Brandon Paul Rank: Private First Class ____________________ Alex just looked straight ahead. He had to admit, what the sergeant said about the planet unnerved him. But he continued listening. The Sergeant continued: "This planet is extremely cold, so cold in fact, that once we're deployed we're going to need to stay inside of the APC until we reach the caverns. For this reason, we're going to be deployed with four APCs, one for each squad. Now, report to your dropships and await further instruction. Dismissed." As the sergeant mouths those words, Alex and the rest of his squad headed back into the corridor and towards the hanger. They were all silent, the sergeants words were no doubt getting to them. Non-Standard insertions is a term that is not used often. Alex tried to not let it bother him, as he entered the hanger. He saw his dropship, and his squad headed towards it. They all climbed inside, and awaited what was going to come next.
  17. Time for episode two of HRUA. I'll be talking about a user I like quite a bit, ~Chaotic Lightning~! A fellow Rainbow Dash fan, and a Luna fan too, but I'll get over that because Lightning is just so awesome. So let's begin talking about how awesome they are. ~Chaotic Lightning~, like myself, is a gamer. That's really cool and a fun thing to do. For one thing, I love the quote on his profile, it's inspirational, really. '' Being the Best in the World is a lifestyle.'' ™ It may sound silly, but I think that's a good mantra to live by. After all, if you're not trying to be the best every day, then eventually you will fall behind. Also, apparantly, I'm his favorite user, that's incredibly sweet of him! Also, he shares the same favorite villain (My favorite villain is Discord, but my favorite antagonist is Trixie). His favorite wonderbolt is spitfire, that's cool too! And his favorite pony is Rainbow Dash, with his favorite Mane six being Applejack (I presume he minds besides RD). I also like the way that they are both in his icon (He has an amazing icon)! Much like myself, he claims to be the best in the world. Even if he isn't, he sure ranks pretty high on the list of best people, because he appears to be made of pure amazing. Seriously, if you haven't had the opportunity to talk to him in a PM or something, you really need to. He is fun to talk to!