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I recommend opening a new tab and listening to this song while you read. Its one of my favourite classic Brony songs, and evokes a strong nostalgic feeling. Hello, everyone! On this day, all the way back in 2014, I decided to give My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic another chance after realizing I liked Twilight Sparkle and found that I actually enjoyed the show quite a bit. Back then, I was way less mature, more shy and still went to high school. My first time in the fandom was mainly spent listening to Brony music from this playlist on YouTube, as well as watching some videos from the YouTube Brony community. I had some interactions with members of the community as well, but, it was from the comment section on YouTube, so you can kinda guess how that would have turned out, yeah, I kinda embarrassed myself a little there but its all good now! Later that year, I decided to search Google for some communities related to this newfound obsession of mine, and found a few sites that seemed interesting, such as What is a Brony?, Equestria Daily, Bronyland and MLP Forums. Some places I visited didn't have a proper community of their own, or they were more like news websites for the fandom and didn't really seem all that appealing to me and if they did have a community, I didn't really know about it (as was the case with Bronyland and EqD). I created my account here on June 30th, 2014 shortly after browsing the website for a bit and finding that I liked the community here and wanted to start being more involved with the fandom outside of YouTube. I was a little nervous, but, I eventually (cringe warning) made my first post. Back then, I was known as shoyrumaster11, and as you read my first post, you may have noticed that most of my exposure to the fandom came from watching so-called "anti-Brony" videos and trying to figure out how anyone could be so triggered by a simple cartoon on TV. For a good portion of my time in the fandom, I spent it here on MLP Forums, occasionally making posts and sometimes actually interacting with the community and eventually, I wanted to branch out a little more and tried to find some meetups nearby, as well as a more local fan site but unfortunately, my parents didn't want me to be in any meetups back then due to concerns for my safety. My friend @Frequency Wavelength introduced me to Bronies Australia, a more local website which unfortunately wasn't very active, but it was great to know that this wasn't only some weird thing that Americans do a lot. After a while, I did also start to decline interest in this website due to some drama with the staff that was going on at the time and made a blog post last year explaining why I left the site. At the time, I was mainly a part of Equestria Daily's Morning and Nightly discussions and a regular on PonyTown, where I met a certain special someone... Through the years, I have made many friends and, at a very slow pace, learned to be more confident in myself and to try to enjoy my life a little more and be grateful for what I have. I'm still learning even today, but, I'm thankful for everyone in my life who has helped along the way, including those I met via the fandom and its presence on the web, and in this section, I just wanted to say thank you to some people I met through the fandom who are special to me, including those who are not on this website. @Jade Fire, I wanted to say thank you for being among the people to welcome me back on to this website when I decided to come back, and always being very friendly and understanding, even through tough times. I always enjoy talking to you and at times, a part of me does wish we could be friends outside of the internet, I consider you one of my best friends and I'm very grateful to have met you and to be so close to you. @PuddingPonyPal, you don't seem to come here very often, but if you ever read this, I just wanted to say thank you for welcoming me back on the website late last year. You have inspired me to try to be more creative with my art and fiction and you are very much a close friend to me. Minty Root, I remember you from back in the days when I was on EqD's discussions. I consider you one of my main inspirations for my (currently in the works) YouTube channel and I actually used to enjoy chatting with you on EqD. I am a part of your Discord server now, and as of writing this, I'm kind of wondering why we don't chat more? @SparklingSwirls, I really enjoy chatting with you and being your friend, and since chatting with you about it on Discord, you're also one of those people I want to meet at some point in real life, I actually really enjoy it when you be silly and you have helped me out of my depression, and we both seem to share a lot in common. Whenever I need someone to talk to, or just want to say hi, you are the first person I talk to. @StrawCherry, I feel like we are really good friends and, despite your being busy all the time, I kinda see you as the sister I never had. I enjoy your passion towards art and technology and I encourage you to continue doing that! Grazin, I really do mean it when I say that I enjoy being your friend. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and I always have fun on your Discord server. You are very kind and I think you are stronger than you realize. I know you've been through a lot and might have had a rough past, but I just wanted to say that you shouldn't let it define who you are, I think the fact that I enjoy my friendship with you to the point where I have considered inviting people to your Discord server, so they can meet you says a lot, I might not be on Equestria Daily any more, but you are among the people I met from there who I still enjoy being around. Enigma, you are a very cool guy and I actually really enjoy seeing your passion towards music. I consider myself lucky for having met you and I wish we chatted a little more. @Frequency Wavelength, thank you for introducing me to the Aussie side of this fandom. It really helps me to know that I can share my interests with people much closer to home. You are a very cool and very friendly guy, and I think we would be great friends SGB, we only really met when I joined Grazin's server, but, I've always thought you were very kind and friendly. I think we should chat more ^^ @Battenberg, we've only just started chatting recently, but, I think you are a good friend so far, so thank you for letting me be your friend. @Valencia, you are a very kind individual and I just wanted to say thank you for being there for me when I needed it and for being a good friend and a good person in general. I hope everything is going very well for you. Mountain Dreams, we don't chat as often as we used to, but I've always enjoyed being your friend and I enjoy talking about the latest MLP episodes with you and I think you are a very good friend. @Totally Lyra, you're my favourite moderator on this website and I have fun reading posts from you and being your friend. Also, Lyra is still the best pony! Raven... I have a lot to say about you and I'm not even sure where to begin... My long distance relationship with you meant a lot to me and I do still miss you quite a lot, I remember that we met on New Years Eve in 2016 and I really enjoyed talking to you and to this day, there is something about you that I still love. Not sure if it was your kindness, your friendly attitude, your love of music, the fact that you are a fun lady to be with or anything else, but, there is something about you I love and I cherish all the time we've spent together and miss you greatly. You have shown me what true love is like and I never expected to meet you at all. I know things weren't always the best between us and that a lot of mistakes were made, but, I always thought it was still worth being with you because you at least tried to do what you could to make things work out. I wish we had more time to chat with each other because I genuinely enjoy your presence and words cannot even begin to describe how I feel about you as a person. The thing is, I don't even feel like your absence was entirely your fault, though its still something that should have been talked about, and I'm sorry for not having the courage to just simply talk out my problems. The fact that I still think about you and the fact that I still miss you must mean something. I love you, Raven and truth be told, if you ever come back, I'd want to give this another chance and see if we were really meant to be... A lot has changed since we last met and I'm more confident than ever and I'm ready to be in a relationship this time, and I'm ready to put in the extra effort for you. The thing is, you are unlike anybody I've ever met in my life and words will never be enough to describe how I feel about you... Thank you for everything, Raven. I genuinely mean it when I tell you I love you, and I hope we meet again soon and maybe work things out... To some, Bronies might be seen as some "fad" in popular culture, but, with all the experiences I've had and all the wonderful people I've met in this fandom, I think it is so much more than that. We are very much a community as well as family and even though I've still got a lot to work on, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone in the fandom for helping me to grow and become more confident and enjoy life a little more. I think there is something special about this community of like-minded individuals and even though we do go through a lot of difficult times, we always come back stronger than before, I never expected that a community based around a popular show would mean so much to me, but, evidently it does, and I am very thankful for that. I may not enjoy the show itself as much as I used to, but I still do enjoy being part of this community and I promise that it will always have a special place in my heart and I'm proud to be a Brony and even more proud to have met all my friends from across the fandom, I think that even by the time life gets too busy for me and I cannot actively be in any geeky community, I will still have lots of fond memories of my time as a Brony and I promise I'll pass all the lessons I've learned on to my possible son's and daughter's in the future and I might even show them some episodes of MLP. Thank you, everyone. -Nightfall Gloam.
First off ask me anything, I have no secrets. Now the wall of text: This will serve as a general overview of my life up until this point as I see fit to reveal it. I am displaying it here for your inquiry and scrutiny. So a wee little me right? Like 1 years old it was 1998 and my ma is starting school to become a teacher in public schools. She is a foreigner on a green card. Her husband is a Chicago born 80s man who parties and loves his family something fierce. Their stories alone are actually extremely revealing as to my own but that will be seen as we go on. But yeah when I'm like 1, mad money is Rollin in. It's just baby me, my older bro is like 3 and ma is maybe 24, Pa maybe 25. They deal. They party a little. Ma is in college. Pa works for his dad's construction firm. 2 years old ma has a bad car accident and lives in an odd show of events. She lived because of not wearing her seatbelt at a heavy cost. She ran her car around a deer and into and a ditch, propelling it into the air and twirled and landed on it's roof (that's how ma tells it. Pa confirms.). Ma flies through the windshield and tumbles to the ground and my older brother, 4 years old is in his car seat in the back. This car skids on it's roof for another 50 meters or so before hitting a retaining wall for a curve and sliding downhill into a ditch. Interesting enough, my brother is fine. Just a bruised chest and a scraped knee. Ma is severely injured and lacerated by glass. The police were aware soon after and she was flown with my brother to the hospital. She was there for a few months and left barely able to walk. Took her the next year to get back to normal. So now I'm what, 3? Same stuff just no one getting hurt. Pa gets busted on a minor drug offense and gets probation. No big deal to be honest. So 4! Here we go, this is a good one. My 4th birthday. I wake up and open presents and I recall ma making an angry phone call. It's july 23rd 2001 (not a big deal the date but that's the date nonetheless). After presents ma breaks out a cake and me and my bro eat cake. My pa arrives around noon. Kinda like busts through the door, intoxicated to some degree (how certain varies by accounts). Ma n pa have a spat that becomes a fight that becomes a fist fight til ma stabs him with scissors. He throws her and drives off. Turns out he was back into dealing as well. Cops picked him up and he went to prison. Ma divorced him and took me and my older brother. She was still a drug addict and heavy alcoholic. A real 80s kinda chick. She still is in a way. So after that I won't see my dad til I'm 5 almost 6 and he's at a rehab center and I'm there for Easter egg hunt stuff. It was a religious event. I was actually rather religious as was my home at this time in my life. So i got this big basket full of eggs and i see this girl with no eggs and i give her some of mine and my pa never forgets it. It's odd to me actually. 6, so I'm in school in first grade. I'm a good reader and interested in art. I also like archaeology because dinosaurs. Ma has straightened up and married a sober dude who flunked out of the army. Spoilers: this guy is a bad dude. Regardless, I'm a weird little redneck kid who never wears a shirt and has super long polar bear blonde hair with all my baby teeth still in my head. But I'm also really good at school work, but terrible at interacting with people. They say I'm adhd. This'll be important later. So they give me Ritalin. Minimal dose for now. I am a rowdy kid. Sometimes violent. I do well in school though. 7, I continue to excel in school but have a slew of behavioral problems as I continue to have my dosage increased ever higher to 500mg twice a day. I also had bloodwork done. They think maybe I'm not adhd but they'll keep looking. The marriage between ma and this dude is crumbling already. This is a religious issue. Ma is a Christian, ex orthodox Catholic, from communist Hungary. This dude is an American bro with bad luck who hates the religious. Now lemme settle this right here: this is important to understand for my take in this whole thing. I am not religious. I would consider myself an anti-theist if anything but I do not intend for anyone else to adopt this method of thinking. One ought to be as they please. I do not necessarily loathe religion. However I do loathe them all equally as they are all virtually destructive devices in lieu of my goal of preparing humanity for the future as I see it. Regardless, I love people. And people are not humans in a sense, but for our intents and purposes are. Now I don't hate the religious, though I do find their willingness to be lead rather concerning as that is not a favorable trait for our species to keep in the coming years. We should seek to unify and be free rather than to conquer and be destroyed. So 7, normal stuff. Ma finishes school and starts substitute teaching. She also has ran a daycare since I was 5. Did I forget to mention that...? I did. Anyways, she finished school for now. This dude she is married to but hates works for a... Wait a...pro-pr..propane company. This has got to be a joke...but no he does. They have a baby girl and that's my first little sister. But yeah 7 they switched my prescription from Ritalin to concerta which is just cheaper Ritalin from India. Same dosage. Oh yeah and that made bad stuff happen. See I'm actually schizoaffective. My ma is bipolar type 1. Pa is bipolar type 2. So uh, they gave a kid with bipolar speed and alot of it for a few years. And down the line along with things to come that ends up with me being schizoaffective. We will see how that all goes down. Btw, at this point ma is drinking again and is depressed. 8, the bad stuff happens. I'm in 3rd grade and I'm all hopped up on medicine. The marriage is at its breaking point. In their desperation and totally by mistake they have another baby girl. I now have 2 sisters in 2 years. This is getting ridiculous. So one day after breakfast I walk to the bus stop and sit down. I dig around in the back pack for a ruler that I sharpen on the sidewalk. The bus arrives and I put it away, get on, go to school. I get to class, the teacher collects homework and I don't have mine. He calls me a few names as he often did, much like most authority figures prove to have done to many. I don't exactly remember the turn of events in question but some kid got slashed by the ruler and I got hauled off to a local psych ward by cops. It was then that I spent an hour or two in isolation until my ma arrived and took me home. They wanted to evaluate me but ma said no. They then countered with a court order for me to receive mental care or she lose all her kids. So the same clinic saw and tested me positive as early onset bipolar type 2. They had my dosage lowered and began to ween me off of the speed. I met with doctors and they declared I was a highly intelligent and sensitive young rascal with no grasp on the concept of self. This is important. So i get kicked out of that school and go to another one. At this point I should mention I've hopped schools alot cuz ma moves alot and she still does to this day. 9, ma divorces the weird dude. She drinks and drinks and drinks. She becomes abusive and neglectful whilst trying to get back into school. She has 4 kids and a daycare and that's it. All of her kids are and continue to seem to be special needs to some extent. She is a broken women as the childhood she lost and never confronted beguile her with misery and woe. She is ready to end it all...if only she never had kids. This is basically her to this day. I'm doing well in school though. I'm unmedicated for now, being in gifted classes, reading at an 8th grade level they said. My older brother is often playing video games. My little sisters are very young and are just as abused and neglected as me and my brother but not to the same extent. It's honestly a snapshot of lower middleclass America. 10, doing well in school, reading at 12th grade level so they say. I'm in the recycling club, I dump out all the campus recycling bins with other students. I know the school resource officers and shrinks rather well as I have my bouts if erratic behavior. They now have me taking abilify. It kills my appetite and my weight drops to 45lbs. Nothing is done about it and this continues to cause me problems like back pain, stomach cramps, vertigo on occasion, the usual. I get involved with public speaking and this continues to get important. I compete with the whole school and get 1st in my class and 4th for the school and it makes me mad that I didnt get a prize so I cried and cried. That's about it. 11, I'm in middle school. I went to a concert with my older bro and ma is married to a religious right wing tea party dude. She still is. I like metal, girls and anime. Kill me. Anyways, I dated and what not and it sucked. Ma had another baby girl. I have apendicits and go the hospital. It screws up school for me forever. I weighed maybe 60lbs. I was and am a small man. I did end up dying during surgery due to an unexpected incident involving an adverse reaction to anesthetics. Clinically dead for 7 minutes and to this day I can still recall the lack of sensation for what seemed to be that amount of time. The ego death. I recall it quite clearly. I learned that death is final and the soul is a mere figurative manifestation of life or it's essential parts. Absolute lack of sensation. That is death as I perceive it. But basic CPR revived me and they go on with the basic appendectomy. I spend a month in the hospital and also have an abcess removed. Slowly I recover and begin to gain weight and confidence as my medication is increased. 12, I date this weird chick, it gets me questioning my sexuality. But it also gets me questioning the idea of god. This is still relevant. But beyond the thoughts nothing comes of it. I love around schools alot as my meds make me act agressively when manic. 13, so this is kinda where the meat starts to fill in. The good parts are beginning. My brother is dating the same girl he has since he was in 8th grade at this point and I've been dating a redneck girl who like anime and Music. She's a little chubby but that's why I liked her I suppose. Point is, we were both like the same person and 2 years later it becomes a problem. I'm really coming into my own and want to be an army doctor. I like to build legos and robots. I also decide that God is fake and not for me. 14, 9th grade. What a year <3~ me and the girl are together and happy. Ma is sober and teaching at middle schools. Her husband is a groundskeeper who was in the navy for 16 years. He brought 2 kids (technically 3 but I don't wanna get into that unless asked). I'm exploring my sexuality a bit and have become a brony. I'm edgy as all hell and my meds are now Xanax. Ma just gives me the bottles and naturally I abuse them. I do well enough in school and am active in Jrotc. I meet a man who is older than me (I was 14 he was 17 ). We talked and were good friends. This is important later. 15, the best year of my life so far. I smoke cigarettes now. I drink when I can. Whatever drug I can find I'm on. I'm edgy. So edgy. I am little kurt cobain and grunge becomes me. Kill me was my mantra. Me and the girl split up and I get together long distance with the guy I mentioned earlier. This leads to problems later. 16, I've switched schools and made new friends, some of whom I still have. I'm mostly off of drugs other than cigarettes which I scramble to save and ration like food. I'm having bouts of night terrors that persist to this day. I have stomach problems and jrotc has broken my back. We live in the woods outside town in a big nice house on land. We've got animals. My mind at this point is in utter disarray. I began to look into myself and ask the big questions and day by day I found out more and more. At this point I've lost contact with the bronies. Life is grungy. Me and ma hate eachother. She finds out I'm with that dude and restricts my access to the internet for 4 whole months in which I date a freshman as a beard for that time. Eventually I regain contact with the boy and we grow very close and commit to one another. I am now the rebel of the house...yay... 17, I'm failing school and planning to move to Colorado to be with the man. I did pass but it was a struggle as now I am frequently experiencing auditory hallucinations. To this day, although rare now, they do occur. Though most notably whilst under the influence which is obvious. So i graduate and sell lots of my stuff to afford to live in Colorado. 18, now ive graduated. I have the money and tickets and packed. I'm leaving Florida for Colorado on August 3rd, 2015. I've said my goodbyes. Saw their faces as I walked away and at the time felt so empowered by their sadness. They couldn't touch me anymore. I'd grow to miss em. I lived in Colorado with a nice young brony who was in school and worked a nice job. I lived there 7 months. The entire time he was not actually into me or even men. He wanted the trap I could've been. But i was grungy and cool. He was actually a huge freaking nerd. But that's what made him cute. He was going to school for psychology so I figured he could help me as I've seen therapist after therapist and none help. In the end, I hated him and now it's still bittersweet. Eventually after 7 months of working fast food to pay rent and living in a place with seasons, I went home and no one said I told you so. They were kind and kept me close for the following months as I went back to work with subway. 19, for some reason I begin to think I'm trans for all of a month and then I chill. I self medicate with tobacco. Afterwards I am at the final stages of my personal development as my youth fades away. I am self aware and sympathetic. This is me now, I'll be 20 on July the 23rd.
Well this has been really bugging me for a while now, and I just need to let theses out. You see my brain has been over flowing with a whole bunch of concepts, and truth be told I don't know which ones are any good. Who knows maybe one of them catches your eyes, and you would like to help turn into a thing, hopefully. Alright to kick things off I have Modern Fantasy (working title), which is set place in world where modern tech meets magic ie dragons elfs, orcs, wizards, etcetera, ecetera. The story follows a group of childhood friends who all have one common dream, to become adventurers when they grow up. So each of them studies up through their entire life to finally accomplish their life long goal, and stay in touch by means of magic and what not. So our group finally get their life long goal of becoming adventurers, but it's not what it is cracked up to be. They get little to no respect for their job as adventurers (keep in mind part of their job is stop their whole from getting blown up or something), have to share a cramped semi-decent apartment, low paid, and other real world problems. The story would follow them just that dealing with real world problems in their world. Next up is The the Guardians which takes in the distance future, and follows our hero (who I haven't thought of name for so let's call him Jim for now) who is found of programming different free-running courses and playing them. Jim's dream is joining the interstellar group of peace keeps with sweet super robotic suits and weapons, which takes on the form most fitting of it's user. They only take a few people from each planet to join them and them put though a test to decide who is worthy enough. So when Jim's world is picked as one of those planets, he doesn't waste anytime sighing up to take the test. However he just barely passes it, since free-running and programming can only take you so far. The whole rest of the series follows Jim going though training, meeting new friends, and going on all kinds of adventures. Alright let's end this here because three is nice number to stop at, and if I wrote more of my concepts down then this would be more of a wall of text than it already is. So here it is the finally concept that I will write down for now, Escape to Reality. This takes place in a world where all TV-shows take place in same universe, and each one of all has one show on it. Which is in are our TVs, all of these planets have a "black outs" in the sky when the credits rolls. Where everybody is supposed to go inside, In order to prevent them from finding out they are fake. Now meet our hero (which again I can't think up a name so let's call him Bob) how was different from everybody else because he just doesn't think the logic in his cartoon world is right, and non of it makes any sense to him. By having thoughts made him a outcast, and even landed him in the nut house a few times. Bob even tried to kill himself a couple of times each one failing because he tries doing it in the way we do in the real world, and you know real life logic being different from cartoon logic. However he stills holds his job as a button pusher (no literally that is all he does), and a apartment. Now day he decides to avoid the warning telling him to go inside, and watches the credits seeing that he is being played by somebody. Which Bob then comes to the conclusion that he is fake, and that the only way to become real is by going into a reality show. The rest of thing follows Bob and his quest to escape to reality. Wow that last one was a lot longer then I expected, oops. Well what do you think of them, and are they any good? I hope can get some really good feed back on these, and maybe share some more of my concepts because those my friends were only the tip of the ice burg. One another note is that I am sorry if the grammar on this isn't very well, you see I wasn't expecting this to so long and it's late at the time of me posting this. So yeah sorry about that.