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Hearth's Warming Helper

Found 1 result

  1. A Prothean In Equestria Javik, one of the last of the Protheans to put himself into cryogenic stasis in a desperate attempt to save his species from annihilation by the Reapers. To his indescribable horror, he somehow woke up in another parallel universe filled with annoying Ponies. A pointless Mass Effect crossover. Please don't take this seriously. It was made quite simply for silliness's sake. -------------------------- Within a bunker deep underground an anthropoidal alien known as a Prothean, that had two pairs of eyes with each eye possessing dual pupils, and two pairs of nostrils, his head is covered in a thick, layered carapace, the being's skin is a pale blue-gray color mottled with muted yellow spots. Their hands each have three fingers, and their feet each have two widely-spaced toes. This particular member of his species, whom was wearing light red power armor while having an argument with a green transparent hologramme of his race, whom also wore power armor. "A few minutes!" he shouted at the VI while ignoring the blazing inferno down the hallway of the bunker. "No, the bunker is falling. There's no other option." "There are pod online! Those soldiers are still alive!" "Their sacrifice will be honored in the coming empire. Preparing neutron bombardment, get to your lifepod now." He reluctantly agreed with the VI, then ran over to a cryogenic stasis pod, opened it and lay himself down inside it. "Neutron bombardment under way." He closed his eyes as the ground began to rumble as the bombs go off on the surface. "The bunker is secure, Commander Javik." "What is left of it. A few hundred people. How am I to rebuild an empire from that?" "Further adjustments may be necessary. The neutron purge has compromised the facility." "Clarify." "Sensors are damaged. Automated reactivation is not an option. You will remain in stasis until a new culture discovers this bunker. This may lead to a power shortage. "Do not shut off more pods! I need the few that are left!" "Power needs will be triaged appropriately. You will be the voice of our people." "I will be more than that." he said as darkness took him into cryogenic sleep. *** A small, purple wingless dragon with green scales walked down the stairs to find a machine in the middle of the library’s floor. "Twilight, what is this?" Twilight Sparkle the young lavender unicorn walked down the stairs to see the machine herself. "I have no idea Spike." They both headed over to the machine to have a closer look, but then seemingly for no appellant reason the pod opened itself to reveal Javik's rapidly defrosting body. The Prothean opened his eyes to see Spike and Twilight staring at him, and for some reason everything looked way to colorful and bright. Javik roared in anger while his body flashed with light green Biotic energy, which created a powerful force that sent Spike and Twilight flying across the room to smack into a bookshelf, which caused the bookshelf to fall over and spew books all over the floor. He climbed out of the pod to land on his knees, then stood up staggering a little as he looked around the room in confusion. Twilight ran towards Javik to shout at him. "Why did you just attack us?! Do you have any idea who I am?! Where did you come from? Why are you here? What are you--- Javik simply stared at the strange creature before him, without reading it's physiology, he could not understand one thing it was saying. "Are you even listening to me?!" she screamed. Javik briefly touched the creature on the forehead to gain understanding of this being's language. "How many others?" he asked the unicorn. "Others? There are more of you?" "Yes, there are more of us primitive. Now answer my question!" he bellowed in frustration. "Don't call Twilight primitive!" Spike shouted. "Relax Spike. Anyway, regarding your question, I don't really kn--- Javik walked away from her to head towards the door. "Where are you going?" "That is none of your concern stupid creature!" he said as he slammed the door behind him. The morning residents of Ponyville stared at Javik in shock as he walked out the front door of Twilight's library. "I'M SURROUNDED BY PRIMITIVES!" he shouted in anger towards the heavens. For not only was he surrounded by those stupid things called horses on the Human world, everything around him looked so ridiculously cartoony. "Hi!" Another one of those annoying creatures approached him, it's bright pink body giving him an eyesore. "I'm Pinkie Pie, will you be my friend?" "No! Go away primitive!" he shouted. "Aww! Why do you have to be such a grumpy pants?!" "Yeah!" shouted Spike from behind him next to Twilight. "If you were in a war with the fate of your entire species at stake, only to wake up to be surrounded by things like you, you'd too be a grumpy pants." "No, I wouldn’t!" said Pinkie Pie. "Your species wouldn’t last five minutes against the Reapers. For as far as I can tell you haven't traveled in space yet." "You're such a downer. But we can help you beat the Reapers." "Asking your species for help would break the logical narrative of my universe." "Meh, logic is overrated." "I no longer wish to be played as a puppet by some God's twisted idea of a joke." "Huh?" "Someone teleported me here into this alternate reality. Now, goodbye primitives." He pulled a pistol out from his belt and shot himself in the head blowing his brains out and splattering blood everywhere. Ponies gasped in horror seeing this happen, many proceeded to vomit up their breakfasts. *** Javik opened his eyes to find himself somehow alive and strapped onto a hospital bed with ropes. "Am I to be trapped here forever? The End