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LIFE. OUR FINAL DECISION. THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE PONY, NOTEWORTHY. HIS ONE-NIGHT MISSION: TO EXPLORE STRANGE NEW GENS, TO SEEK OUT NEW MARES AND NEW CIVILIZATIONS, TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO COLT HAS GONE BEFORE RealityPublishing Copyright 2016. Don't sue me OH YES! I've been waiting to talk about this one! OOOOOH BOY! The fun I had. Following my last entry, I mentioned that I checked out a MLP G3 DVD from the library and that I'd be watching it that night. I kept my word, and I regretted it. So before I really dig in, let me give it a fair rating: 6/10 - RePub, "The menu spooked me" As my mother always says, make sure you say something positive! Hmm. . . Pinkie Pie was there? Oh, and Rainbow, but I'll get to her later. Yeah, the positive ends there. The episode I watched was dubbed, "The Princess Promenade", and featured two other episodes to accompany it's trough of manure. So as soon as I got home, sat around, and drew a bit, I popped in the disk and called up my friend. It took a while, but we eventually agreed to watch the full, 50-minute feature film. The episode is just littered with bad writing. Everypony has no other emotion but happy, even Pinkie Pie, ponies don't intervene, and even the musical numbers sucked. The story starts off with about three breezies flying into "Ponyville" to aid in some kind of flower festival. The main breezy, Zipzeey (who is voiced by Andrea Libman, so you can imagine how many times I thought that was Pinkie), is allergic to flowers for some reason, but that's not really a problem. The "real" focus of the story is set on Hysteria (Her name is Wysteria, but I swear they kept saying, "Hysteria"), G3's very own, Twilight Sparkle. Hysteria, accompanied by Pinkie Pie, is digging around in the "royal"(?) flower guardian (after a song) when they find a weed. The two try to pull it out, but they end up falling in a deep hole. Zipzeey, who apparently has a close relation with Hysteria, follows them. The three find themselves in a dark tunnel that leads them toward a big pile of dino dung. (I'm not kidding on that one.) On top of the dung, however, was a flower that interested Hysteria, causing her to try and pick it up. Dino Dung awakens, reveals its name is Spike (the dragon) and he appoints Hysteria a princess for picking up a flower or something. This is where the movie takes a turn for the worse. Everything before this point, I could handle. In fact, the notorious intro song didn't even play at the beginning, so it was giving me a good impression. Until the word, "Princess" was thrown in there. I swear, to this day, I wish I had taken shots for every time someone said, "Princess", but I'll get to the shots later. Spike, for some reason, has access to a big castle in the middle of Ponyville. It's not introduced or even explained why the castle is there, but I had to run with it. Spike explains that the flower gives whoever picks it the power of a princess and is the rightful ruler of however big Ponyville is. Spike then describes that his "role" was to teach the new princess how to be one, and this point, you should already figure out what the rest of the story is about. Hysteria is taught how to be a princess, but it's too stern and she can't see her friends. . . blah blah blah. . . musical number. . . no freedom. . . destroys the Death Star. . . gives up princesshood. Now, all that is fine and dandy, it's nothing I haven't seen before, but what makes these stories unique (despite having the same plot) is the resolution. Let's see how they solve this problem. . . Princess Hysteria, in a drunken, depressing rage, messes around with Minty / Pinkie's Float (Which, by the way, I would totally ship.) and comes up with an A M A Z I N G resolution. I swear, this blows G4 out of the water. In fact, I think the rest of the world should try this. Hysteria solves her princess problem, BY MAKING EVERY PONY PRINCESS Yeah, and they sang a song about it. I think the only funny thing about that whole thing is that as soon as they started dancing and such, you could automatically see that Spike was the King. He dressed up and even went as far as making the ponies bow to him. Not joking, see it for yourself. (You can find the episode on XXnightmaremoonXX.de under the extras tab) The whole thing is just littered with bad writing (as I said before). Not a single pony makes an advance toward Spike or pressures Hysteria about her princess problem. All the ponies in the town drop everything they're doing and sing a song about how there's, "A Princess in Town", which was just terrible. Every character has a stereotype and they follow it to the tee. This is where the drinking sets in. Firstly, I'm not old enough to drink, but that's fine. Water is more deadly. Rainbow Dash, who dresses so nice, has a bad habit. Every single line she has, ends with, or has multiple of, the word, "DARLING". As soon as I heard it twice, I grabbed a half-gallon of water and told my friend that every time Rainbow said, "Darling", I'd take a full swig. 40 Minutes and 36 swigs later, my hand is shaking, I've got a burning hatred for Rainbow Dash, and I'm screaming every time she appears on screen. My head is in the clouds, I can barely move, my bottle is just about empty, and I've got fifteen minutes left. At that point, my friend looked up "hyponatremia" and was begging me to stop, but I sucked it up and kept pushing 'till it was over. By the end of the night, I had water all over my shirt, I forgot how to swallow and I lugged my water-hopping bod into bed. And that was my G3 experience. A simply delightful encounter with Rainbow Death and Hysteria. Though, I must add, they kept making references to Pinocchio which made me chuckle. Good job, G3, you got me to chuckle. -RealityPublishing Oh, I also took some snapshots of the. . . highlights. Have a look!
Alright, I'll kick this off with one of my more... recent memoirs. I think it was... last month? I'm not sure. Either way, I was at home, alone and screaming my lungs out and making spell-bindingly good progress in the newest update of My Little Karaoke. I remember this because later that night I was drafted into buying three more bottles of water at the nearest FamilyMart (Convenience store). Anyway, later into the night, around 1AM was when I discovered the magic of the "Online Leaderboard". Seeing how, at the time, I was obsessed with "being noticed" and "making my mark", I did everything I could to reach the top. Eventually I managed to pull a shabby 7,000 on "Join the Herd" with the hardest difficulty. It was good enough for me. Anyway, as I was scrolling down, a little ad on the side caught my eye. It was an ad for BronyMate. Now, I had seen this ad, in particular, before; this was the ad littering my lusterously unrecognized FiMFiction account and I'd been meaning to check it out. Having been up for nearly the whole night, I decided that I'd check it out with all my late-night delirium included. As soon as I opened the page I began to see the problem. "Hmm..." I'd say, scrolling around in the drop-down birthday selection, "It doesn't go anywhere near 1990." Now with a title called, "BronyMate", anyone could get the idea that it was a dating-service and normally, I'd turn away. But after seeing the lower disclaimer/description, I figured, "Oh! I can make friends here! Great! Friendship is magic, after all!" Nope. Not gonna happen. It'd been years since I started lying about my age, but I figured, "Nah, I'm older than that; I'm sick of lying." I wasn't exactly angry about the whole situation, more of disappointed and, with a lick of delirium, I tweeted out to the BronyMate peeps on Twitter, who, had also been spamming my account with their ads. The tweet, in full, went a little something like this: "Wanted to make friends, but the only friend I made was the welcome screen." I then attached a picture of the disclaimer and went back to rubbing sandpaper on my larynx in MyLittleKaraoke. The replied later saying that it was only 18+. Meh. I'm thinking about doing livestreaming in the future. If I do, I'll livestream myself making a BronyMate Account as appreciation for burning an hour of my life. Yeah, I'll probably write better episodes in the future. I just figured I'd get this one off my chest.