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Found 105 results

  1. We all need to rant about things every now and then. What if I told you that there is a fun way to rant? Introducing aggressive positive rants! All you gotta do is what exactly the title implies. Rant about anything positive in your life aggressively. I'll give an example of myself aggressively ranting about my love for lemon flavored treats: Oh. My. GLOB. Lemon treats are like my rejuvenation food! I just wanna eat them all day like a lion chews on it's meaty dinner! Orange treats are no match for the lemony goodness of those new cake pops from Starbucks or the lemon custard tarts from my local market! Lemons on their own are good but LEMON TREATS ARE DA-BOMB!!!! I can burn people's houses down... with the lemon treats. Pumpkin spice treats? nah. Chocolate fudge treats? Maybe. Lemon treats??? HECK YEAH! .
  2. *blows dust away* It's been how long since I did a blog? Two months? That's not too bad. Wait, who am I talking too? I suck at writing intros... Greetings, everypony, your friendly neighborhood Woohoo here. For a while now, I've been thinking about using my blog on a more regular basis. Up until now, the only regular thing I do here on my blog is "Woohoo Rewatches: MLP Seasons," which is way too infrequent if you ask me. After weeks of thinking of ideas (mostly thinking up of a title), I finally came up with something. So here's the launch of my new projected, it's called: "You can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter' and these songs are jokes." Midnight Scribbler came up with the name and subtitle What is "Musical Manslaughter" about? Well if you can't tell by the title, I basically rip apart songs I absolutely hate in a pretty exaggerated and humorous way and give them a score. It's kind of like Mr. Enter's "Animated Atrocities" (only with less shouting) mixed in with Buckley's "Musical Autopsy" and "Todd in the Shadows." Also like Mr. Enter, I've created my own scorecard (seen below) where I'll score the songs on the following categories: Cringe-inducing lyrics: When the lyrics of a song cause me distress, pretty self-explanatory Cringe-inducing music: Same as above, except with the music Poor Production: Do I think the songwriting, sound quality, structure, song length, etc. is lacking Overplayed: Do I think this song is played way too much, this one is really subjective Overly Repetitious: Pretty self-explanatory, one of my many pet peeves in music Nonsensicality: Do I think the song's subject matter or lyrics are nonsensical, this one is also really subjective Negative Effects: Did the song do anything negative to me, such as getting stuck in my head, giving me nightmares, losing faith in humanity, etc. I'm also including the negative effects of the song on the artist(s) and other people. This is probably the most subjective category. Also, this category is two points per box, bringing the total score to 80 It's still somewhat of a work in progress... Yeah I'm totally ripping off Mr. Enter Now for some disclaimers. This is all my subjective opinion, so don't get your jimmies rustled when I tear into a song you like. Just because I hate your favorite song doesn't mean I'll hate you (but I might hate you if say something like "how dare u! dis is da gretest song eva and ur just a jelus hater! >:(") Also, I am not, and probably never will be, an expert on music so my opinions may come off as flawed. Like I said earlier, it's all my subjective opinion. I don't think I ever have been objective... maybe. Oh, one more thing. I don't take requests. Entry Index
  3. What's up, everypony? Woohoo here with another edition of Musical Manslaughter, because you can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter' and these songs are jokes. Since I started MMS over a year and a half ago, I ripped apart quite a few types of songs. I've shredded multiple pop songs, a beloved folk song, a reviled metal song, two Christmas songs, a ballad, and even ranted on the things I hate about music in general. I try not to be some other music reviewers where they constantly rant on the same genres and artists. Now for the 10th I'm doing something different in MMS. I'm going to rip apart... a cover song. How do you all feel about cover songs? My opinion? Well, it depends on the song and the artist covering it. It's a very tricky balancing act. You have to balance between making it your own and not straying too far from the original. Those who succeeded in this balancing act have created cover songs that are beloved and enjoyed just as much, if not more than the original. In fact, some covers are so well done, we don't even know it's a cover. However, when done incorrectly, the results can be quite unpleasant. Those who failed in the balancing act, either trying too hard to replicate the original or straying too far from the original, have created covers that make people beg the question... Why did you cover this song?! What's wrong with the original version?! All you did was tarnish your own reputation and butchered the song that should've been left alone! Alright, I've rambled enough on how I feel about cover songs. Now you're probably wondering what cover song am I going to shred? Well, in the last entry, I said it would be a beloved song from the 1970s... and the song is "September" by Earth, Wind, and Fire. What can I say about this song that hasn't really been said? It's definitely on the best "feel good" songs ever. I've been listening to this song as long I could remember. Usually, I listen to it whenever I'm in a bad mood or whenever I need something upbeat and cheerly to listen to. Now what kind of cold, cruel, careless, heartless, evil person would butcher one of life's most wonderful creations? *inhales sharply* It's... her again... Unfortunately, yes. This cover song actually exists no matter how hard anyone can deny it. I just cannot believe that Taylor Swift, of all artists, would cover "September." I also can't believe I'm talking about Taylor Swift again! I thought I was done with her after I abso-fuckin-lutely eviscerated "Shake It Off" on my very first entry of MMS. Oh no-no-no-no, she had to this! Ugh, I haven't even started the review and I can already feel my sanity being drained. Without further ado, let's break it down! Instead of breaking down the song lyric by lyric like I typically do, I'm going to compare the major aspects of both Earth, Wind, and Fire's version and Taylor Swift's version and give my impression of both. Let's start with the intros because... that's where the songs start. Earth Wind and Fire's version begins with its iconic and catchy bassline accompanied by fluttering synths until it crescendos with its bombastic horns. It's a simply yet effect song intro and it gets me pumped up for the rest of the song. As for Taylor Swift's version... there is no intro! She just jumps right to the damn lyrics! How am I supposed to get pumped up now?! Oh boy, and we haven't even gotten to the lyrics yet. Speaking of which, let's talk about the lyrics, starting with Earth, Wind, and Fire... Do you remember the twenty-first night of September? Love was changing the minds of pretenders, while chasin' the clouds awaaaaaay Our hearts were ringin' in the key that our souls were singin' As we danced in the night, remember how the stars stole the night awaaaaaay Hey, hey, hey, bah-dee-yah, say do you remember? Bah-dee-yah, dancin' in September? Bah-dee-yah, never was a cloudy daaaaaay Don't these lyrics make ya feel good? Do they make you wanna dance? If you don't, then there's probably something wrong with you. What really makes these lyrics enjoyable for me is the vocal delivery. I just love hearing the enthusiasm in Maurice White's voice as well as the backup vocalists during the chorus. I can feel their energy radiating all over the song. In my opinion, energy is really vital in great pop songs. It's what makes 'em... pop! *sigh* Now for Taylor Swift's version... Do you remember the twenty-eighth night of September? Did she... did she just... She changed the first line of the song! Why, Taylor?! I know there's no rules for covering songs but this should be one: Never change the opening line! What was the point of changing 21st to 28th? At least 21st of September has some significance being the first day of Autumn. When you say 28th, September is practically over. Again, what's the point?! But that's not the part of T-Swizzle's version. Let's talk about her vocal delivery. While EW&F's version sounds really energetic, Taylor Swift's version sounds absolutely lethargic, especially during the chorus! Holy shit, she sounds like she's reading a goddamn shopping list!. Hell, Maud Pie has more excitement in her voice than Taylor Swift. I cannot believe I'm gonna say this... she sounded eons more energetic singing "Shake It Off" than on this lobotomy. I think that's the best word I can describe her performance: lobotomized. It really sounds like she lobotomized this song. Taking away everything that made the original so great and replaced with the sound of mayonnaise! Aaaaarrrrggghhhhhhh!! As for the music of Taylor's version, it's nothing but a damn banjo! Why?! Why turn a funky disco song into a mopey country song?! Why is this cover song making me ask so many 'why' questions?! *sigh* I just want to say that I enjoy cross-genre covers, but if they're done right. A well known example of this is the late great Johnny Cash's cover of Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt." All I can say about this cover is that it's absolutely magnificent. The Man in Black knew what he was doing and he truly made this song his own. Hell, even NIИ's frontman Trent Reznor admits that Cash's cover was superior to the original. Now I wonder how the members of EW&F reacted to Taylor Swift's cover. As it turns out, Allee Willis, who co-wrote the song with the late Maurice White, did comment on Swift's cover. While Willis stated that she didn't hate the cover, she described it as "lethargic as a drunk turtle dozing under a sunflower after ingesting a bottle of Valium." I guess great minds think alike. Alright, I think it's time to wrap it up. And that was Taylor Swift's cover of Earth, Wind, and Fire's "September." Do I hate this-- Why do I keep asking this question you all know I hate the song I just ripped apart?! *sigh* Let me break it down for ya. If there was ever a list of songs that should never be covered, "September" should definitely be on that list. Remember that Powerpuff Girls episode with the evil clown that drains color with everything he touches? That's what Taylor Swift did to "September." She drained away everything vibrant and colorful about the original and left it something as vapid and soulless as mayonnaise. Maurice White must be rolling in his grave. I still cannot fathom why... why would she cover this song? Was trying to troll people? Maybe she likes the song and wanted to do her own rendition? I think it's probably the latter, even though I think her rendition sucks. When this song came out last year, the Internet (especially Twitter) went nuts, calling it one of the worst cover songs ever made. This cover is definitely one of the most unpleasant covers I have ever heard. BTW Taylor, didn't Squidward ever tell you mayonnaise is not an instrument? Now for the final score. It didn't score as high because it wasn't overplayed. But I already heard this song twice and that's overplayed enough for me. And that concludes this entry of Musical Manslaughter. How do you feel about this cover? Was I too harsh or soft? What song will I do next? Tune in next month. Same Woohoo time, same Woohoo blog!
  4. StormBlaze

    Gaming Done with Nintendo

    Anyone else feel kinda done with Nintendo these days? Like most of us, i grew up with the consoles (N64, GC, GBC) and utterly love them and the games to death, but recently Im finding it so difficult to be hyped by new games and products by them. I think its because Nintendo drive more to their gimicks than good timeless games now. The only exceptions being Breath of the Wild and Mario Odyssey. I never liked the Wii when it came out because it was gimmicky. I loved the WiiU because it brought the gaming back (for its short life) but the gimmick was now in the game pad more than waving controllers around. Then the switch came out and I just hate this console as its gone gimicks again. I am really not a fan of the whole remaster/remake/reboot thing that game devs have been doing. I find Nintendo doing it almost wrong.... the WiiU wasnt that long ago and already we have remakes on the switch? Im just not feeling anything towards their console games in general. (Like I said earlier, Zelda and Mario are great games, but thats only 2 games in total). Now I love the handheld consoles theyve done. Hate the decisons they made towards the (3)DS though. like 3D gaming was rubbish, but the console was great. Then wtf were they thinking with the original 2DS design! They took away the best feature of the 3DS which was the flip screen (idiots) plus the 2DS looked ugly and then only in the last year they suddenly go "oooh lets just take the 3D away since it wasnt that popular". I wouldve bought a flipping new 2DS if they released it earlier or as the original 2DS..... ugh. Gamewise I still feel like they massivly missed out on a launch title for the 3DS and the WiiU. They shouldve done a new version of Pokemon Snap. The technology wouldve been perfect for that. Also on the note of Pokemon - they also seem to be losing their focus. Its not on the pokemon anymore, Sun and Moon have become obsessed with these flipping Ultra Beasts - thats another rant for later. But its now become another franchise of games that I idolised and treasured thats just disappointed me greatly. Am I just stuck on nostlagia again? So yeah theres my rant, does anyone else fele the same towards Nintendo now? Ive certainly moved on to being a PC gamer (love it) and we recently got a PS4, which is a far superior console and great exclusive games..... which has just left Nintendo in the dirt compared. Sony have gotten the forumla right. They focused on good exclusive games and the gimicks are as an option as a whole seperate thing. Not forced into their games.
  5. This is the part where I greet everypony, say my name, which is Woohoo, and welcome you to another edition of Musical Manslaughter, because you can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter' and these songs are jokes. Here's the part where I ramble on how long it has been since the last entry, what I'm going to be doing different in this one, and how much I hate rambling. Great, I'm rambling again. Anyway, on to business. It's been God knows how many months since the last entry, which was probably my most difficult MMS since the very first one. With most of the previous entries of MMS, I ripped apart a single song in (mostly) great detail. This time I'm ripping multiple songs at once, just like my Christmas entry, albeit much more condensed and contain just my overall thoughts on a song with little, if not any, lyrical commentary. Welcome to the first volume of "Mini-Slaughters." In this volume, I'm tearing apart four songs from mid 2010s. Alright, I've jucked and chived enough. Let's break it down. The first song on the chopping block is by one of the most reviled artists of the current decade. Straight outta Canada, it's music's favorite whipping boy, Justin Bieber! Because it's not like any other music reviewer has ever talked about him before. What song of his am I shredding? Definitely not "Baby" as that song has been shredded beyond any form of recognition. I'm shredding a more recent song of his... his 2015 hit "Sorry." Believe it or not, this is the song that made me hate the Biebs. Why do I hate this song more than "Baby"? Let's find out. My first problem takes place after I press the play button. I hear this... Whoa-oh oh! Whoa-oh-oh! Whoa-oh oh! Whoa-oh-oh! Really? That's how you want to start your song? With that annoying-ass whooping? Is this the infamous "Millennial Whoop" that's taking over pop music? I guess so. It's also heard during the damn chorus too. If you remember my "10 Things I Hate About Music" blog, you'd know how much I dislike non-lexical vocables, especially 'whoa-ohs.' It's almost as annoying as "Shape of You's" bing-bong. Was it really necessary to include the whooping? *sigh* My next problem, and this probably my biggest problem with this song: It's an apology song. I absolutely can't stand apology songs as most of them sound whiney and unbelievably desperate for forgiveness. This song is no exception. Why would you put so much effort into a song just to apologize to some girl? Is it really that hard to just say "I'm sorry"? Also, what did you do to her? Did you spit on her? Call her a whale? Piss in her mop bucket? Eat her tendies? Shit, this song is making me crazy. Other problems with song include Bieber's overly-breathy vocals during the verses where I could barely understand him, and this song being OPAF (OverPlayed As Fuck.) I still hear this almost everyday at work. In fact, every song in this entry is/was OPAF. Now for the final score. Even the score sheets are mini-er To answer your question, Biebs. "Is it to late to say sorry?" Well, for your um... unbelievable contributions to the music and entertainment world, I dub thee unforgiven. Next on the chopping block is from someone a little lesser known yet their song still manages to get OPAF somehow. Also from the Great White North, it's Alessia Cara with her 2015 'empowerment' anthem "Scars to Your Beautiful." *inhales sharply* Do I have some issues with this song, starting with the damn title. "Scars to Your Beautiful," what kind of title is that? Sounds like a Marylyn Manson song if you ask me, like a sequel to "The Beautiful People." Oh boy, I haven't even scratched the surface of the tip of this iceberg. My next problem with this song is that it's so mind-numbingly... generic. The lyrics are just your typical "be yourself" song laid upon on some slow plodding beat. It's like we don't have a million of these songs already. I do give this song credit for touching on self harm and eating disorders, but aside from that, it's just generic. Now you're probably thinking 'Why are you ranting on this song when it's so generic?' Frankly, I would've written this song as generic... if it weren't for this line in the chorus... You don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart. Have you ever heard something so... unbelievable that you're not fully sure on how to even talk about how unbelievable it is? This is definitely one of those instances. It's also an instance where I need a second opinion. Hey SpongeBob, how do you feel about this lyric? Thanks, SpongeBob. This lyric is quite possibly the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard. Why? Because for most people, that's NOT how the world works! Do you really expect a world of over seven billion humans and trillions of other life-forms, of which 99% have never met you, to change their heart? Short answer: You can't! Look, I get what they I get what their going for, but this particular lyric comes off as extremely selfish. Hell, I think this lyric would even make Mr. Rogers cringe. "You don't have to change?" Once again, bullshit! In life, you need to change in order to adapt to this ever-changing world, otherwise you'll get left behind. This single line single handedly destroyed any credibility this song ever had. Empowerment anthem? More like entitlement anthem. This is one of the worst lines I have ever heard in a song, right up there with "Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on" and "I'm madly in anger with you." And just like the last song I shredded, this one also features annoying-ass whooping in the chorus. What's the point of including it? To make the chorus longer? Like I said in my "Shape of You" entry, long choruses are boring and have no place in pop songs. "Scars to Your Beautiful" is practically the "Shape of You" of 2015! *sighs* Alright, I'll stop mentioning that song. Now for the final score. I think this song had good intentions, but the execution was done so poorly. Plus, I don't need to beautiful. I prefer to heed Manson's warning about the beautiful people. Well, I'm half way there, but no amount of prayers can save me from these next two songs. Things are about to get ugly. So ugly that the Ugly Barnacle will die. This time, we're going back to 2014, the same year a certain song that nearly destroyed me was released, with a song by an artist from the far away land of Australia. From the same country that gave us AC/DC, Kangaroos, Nicole Kidman, and Steve Irwin, it's Sia with "Chandelier." For this one, I'll be talking less about the song and more about the artist in choice. This will be a doozy. I'm going to be really frank here... I absolutely cannot stand Sia. I hate her almost as much as Taylor Swift. I don't understand why she's so popular. The main reason I hate Sia… her voice. She sounds like she's getting an oversized rectal probe inserted whilst screaming with a mouthful of peanut butter and marshmallows. Quite unpleasant if ask me. That's the best word to describe Sia's voice. Her voice is so unpleasant, she makes a grindcore vocalist sound like Freddie Mercury. Not only is her voice unpleasant to hear but also unintelligible. Seriously, can anyone understand what she's singing? I sure as hell can't! Her diction and enunciation are so bad, I can't even make up misheard lyrics. She even puts Kurt Cobain to shame! Why is she so popular when we can't understand what the fuck she's singing?! On a somewhat related note, Sia is also one of the reasons I refuse to watch the goddamn MLP movie. Worst celeb self-insert ever! Just why, Hasbro? As for the song... well, if I actually liked this song, I wouldn't have included it on Musical Manslaughter. This song is so unpleasant, unintelligible, nonsensical, OPAF (especially in 2015), and it makes me want to hang myself from a chandelier. What this hell is this song even about, anyway?! *sigh* I would rant further, but I need to conserve my energy for the last song. Here's the final score. It just baffles me how an artist with such an unpleasant and unintelligible voice could be popular. In my opinion, Tom Araya of fuckin' Slayer sounds eons more pleasant than Sia. One more song and I consider this one the worst of the worst. Going back to 2015 for the third and hopefully last time, it's Adele from merry old England with her smash hit "Hello." *inhales sharpiestly* Out of all the songs in this entry, this is the song I hate the most. I mean, practically everyone I know likes this song. Seriously, am I the only one in the world the universe who hates this song?! I have some major problems with this song. Time to use up this last bit of anger as this entry's going out with a bang. My first problem with this song: It's OPAF. Not just OPAF, but astronomically OPAF. Much like "Shake it Off" was back in late 2014-2015, "Hello" topped the Billboard charts and was played practically everywhere in late 2015 and most especially in 2016. Trying to get away from this song was like trying to dodge rain in a thunderstorm. Every time I hear this song, I feel my happiness being washed down the drain. I could go on about this song's overplayed-ness, but I have much bigger problems with this song. My next problem is the same problem I have with Justin Bieber's song. It's another goddamn apology song, and dare I say, it's even worse than the Biebs song. Why? Just listen to the damn chorus! Hello from the other siiiiiide I must have called a thousand tiiiiiimes To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done But when I call you never seem to be home Hello from the outsiiiiiide At least I can say that I've triiiiiied To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart But it don't matter it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore Wow... just wow. The desperation is strong with this one. This doesn't just take the cake, it takes the whole damn bakery! I know the "called a thousand times" is a hyperbole, but really? If he didn't answer the first few times, why did you keep trying?! He probably should've blocked your number after the third time. Also, what did you do to him? Did you eat his tendies? I can't even fathom what Adele and whoever wrote this were thinking with this song. Did they really think these lyrics sound sincere? Because to me, it sounds extremely creepy. In fact, "Hello" makes "Every Breath You Take" sound like fucking "All Star!" At least Sting admitted that "Every Breath" is supposed to be creepy. This song... *sigh* I need calm myself down before I explode twice... But I'm not done here, am I? Oh no, I have another major problem with this song: The production. Creepy lyrics aside, "Hello" is one of the most musically boring songs I have ever heard. It's just some sad and plodding piano ballad that we've all heard like a million times now. Not that I hate piano ballads, but this song doesn't do anything new or even interesting. Once again, boring! However, what really kills the song for me is Adele's "oversinging" in the chorus. I'm not sure if "oversinging" is the right term, but it really does sound like she's overly straining her voice. It really makes my vocal cords shrivel. Sheesh, I thought Adele would've learned to be more careful with her vocal technique after she blew out voice the first time. Nope, she blew it out again last year, likely for good. I find it pretty pathetic that Adele blew out her voice twice before turning 30 while Rob Halford and Bruce Dickinson are in their 60s and they can still wail. I guess it is all in the technique. Now for the final score. Honestly, Adele, I don't know why you say hello when I say goodbye. And that concludes this entry of Musical Manslaughter. I was expecting "Mini-Slaughters" would be a lot easier to write. I was wrong. Maybe the next set of "Mini-Slaughters" would be easier For my next entry, I'll be tearing apart a horrible recent cover of a beloved 1970s anthem. This is Woohoo, signing off.
  6. I never used to drink caffeine before college, but ever since starting, and spending many sleepless nights studying/doing all the group homework alone, I have found myself addicted to caffeine. Now, when I started drinking the stuff, it was a just a small can of coke, or a mountain dew once and a while, but eventually I found myself struggling to concentrate without it. This caffeine thing is a problem for many reasons, for one, I have ADHD, and caffeine has this strange effect on me, it doesn't cause me to bounce off the walls, or go running around, but instead it causes me to sit and do stuff. Caffeine will make my mind wonder for hours upon end, and usually I drink it to get stuff done... which never happens. As the semesters went on, I started to crave the stuff more and more, and last semester I started drinking energy drinks, which in my opinion shouldn't be legal to sell to children. Energy drinks are particularly bad because of the concentration of caffeine contained in them, but at this current state I find myself irritable, drowsy, and uncomfortable if I don't get my daily monster. At this point I want to quit, and I am in the process of cutting back on the stuff, but it is going to be a long journey. So why energy drinks? well, one reason would be that they are very popular with a younger crowd of people, and the amount of caffeine is very dangerous for a younger body. It would actually be illegal to put this amount of caffeine in a 'soda' which is why they label their drink as an 'energy supplement' that is 'not marketed to teenagers' which is complete bull. Several of my younger friends are addicted to caffeine, and their primary source is from energy drinks. I guess I am focusing my anger towards Energy drinks simply because I am currently addicted to the caffeine present in them, and I really don't like the idea that a lot of people my age and younger will experience head aches, nausea, paranoia, and the other symptoms of withdrawal from this drug known as caffeine. This rant has little to no purpose, but I have a question: Are any of you 'addicted' to caffeine? If so, is it as serious as my addiction? worse? are you currently trying to get over it? or do you see a problem with caffeine at all? I want to know. Thanks for reading my long winded, poorly presented rant on something I am struggling with~ (the reason this isn't under life advise is because I am getting over it, and don't seek the help of others as it is something i already have help with)
  7. AndrewKnapp

    I Hate The Mane 6

    There are ponies in MLP: FiM that I hate a lot. Maybe even more than I hate Rarity. And yes, I'm also not too big of a fan of Pinkie Pie or Applejack. It seems that Twilight is the only member of the Mane 6 that knows what she's doing (and even she has her flaws!) But more specifically, I hate Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Fluttershy is nothing but a scared little wimp, and Rainbow Dash just absolutely LOVES to pick fights with just about anypony else. Rarity is an over-the-top drama queen who manipulates the male ponies into doing stuff for her (not anything bad, but still!). And I swear to Celestia above, there is no character worse than Pinkie Pie (yes, maybe even worse than Fluttershy and Skittles). Does she have the world's worst case of ADHD? It's no wonder she's the main character in every grimdark! Twilight is pretty much the only main character who actually knows how to do stuff. Oh, wait a minute: she's scared of FREAKIN' QUESIDILLAS AND is the LITERAL DEFINITION OF A WORST CASE SCENARIO!! WRONG!!! Can Hasbro please make Spike a pony??? Cause he's the only main character that's right in the head...
  8. Hello everyone. Woohoo here with another entry of Musical Manslaughter, because you can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter' and these songs are jokes. Well, here I am once again not torn into pieces. It's been a while since I've done one of these. No, the last one doesn't really count because silence isn't really a song. Plus, it was April Fools Day. Anyways, on to business. The reason I haven't made an MMS in a while is... well, there isn't a lot of songs that make me angry. I could rant on more Taylor Swift songs but I don't wanna be labeled as "that guy who always rants on Taylor Swift" so I'm trying my best not rant on the same artist(s) over and over again. I just don't wanna be a one-trick pony. Anyways, I finally found a song that makes me angry, although not really at first. I didn't really pay attention to it until late last year. The more I heard it, the more it angered me. If you haven't already guessed from this entry's title, which is probably none of you, this song is by an artist named Ed... No, not that Ed. He's not even a musician... or real... Wrong Ed again. Great guitarist tho... That's the one. The messy red haired singer known as Ed Sheeran. Yep, I'm ripping apart an Ed Sheeran song. Oh boy, this will be a doozy. I can already hear those fangirls' keyboards tapping. Which Ed Sheeran song am I tearing into? None other than his #1 hit from last year, "Shape of You." Alright, I've shucked and jived long enough. So why do I hate this song? Let's break it down. So the song starts off with... Actually, I don't know what you'd call it. Anyways, this song starts off... with this... * Bing, bong, bing-bing, bong, bing-bing, bong, bing, bong-bong-bong * What... the... fuck... Seriously?! There's no way... unless... is this supposed to be the melody? Or is it the beat? Could someone in the comments tell me if this is a melody or a beat? Or even what instrument is being used? For now, I'm just going to call it the "bing-bong." Whatever the "bing-bong" is, it's fucking horrible! It's so bland, cheap, lazy, and unprofessional! Hell, it sounds more unprofessional than Lars Ulrich's snare on St. Anger. At least there's some heart behind that snare. Here, this "bing-bong" sounds so vapid, soulless, and it just sounds an unfinished demo. Alright, enough on the "bing-bong." Hopefully the music will change in the chorus. But then the lyrics come in... The club isn't the best place to find a lover, so the bar is where I go... I... actually agree with you, Ed. Clubs sucks! They're loud, crowded, obnoxious, and in no way the best place to find a lover. Bars are much more manageable... Wait, why am I talking about clubs and bars?! I need to stay focused. Me and my friends at the table doing shots Drinking fast and then we talk slow Come over and start up a conversation with just me And trust me I'll give it a chance now Take my hand, stop, put Van the Man on the jukebox And then we start to dance, and now I'm singing like... So far, the lyrics don't seem too bad. They're generic, yeah, but not infuriating like the songs I tore up earlier. It's just a song about a lonely guy going to a bar hoping to find a lover and eventually finding one. Also, who is this Van the man? I'm just gonna assume it's Van Morrison since you list him as one of your influences. However, after this verse, things go downhill fast... Girl, you know I want your love Your love was handmade for somebody like me Come on now, follow my lead I may be crazy, don't mind me Say, boy, let's not talk too much Grab on my waist and put that body on me Come on now, follow my lead Come, come on now, follow my lead What the actual hell, Ed?! Are you singing about... sex!? How could you?! Did you ever think of the children?! OK, I'm overacting but... how do put this. The idea of Ed Sheeran singing about sex feels off to me. I can't really explain why. Why, Ed? Why did you make a sex song? Is it because sex sells? If so, I ain't buying. I'm saving my money to buy peace. Also, and this is just me, this song almost feels like him selling out. Well, let's just hope he doesn't start twerking. Also, if this is a sex song, then it's one of the most unsexy sex songs ever. Hell, "Dead Skin Mask" by Slayer is eons sexier than this! Ugh, I'm already going crazy and I'm not even at the chorus yet. Speaking of which... I'm in love with the shape of you We push and pull like a magnet do Although my heart is falling too I'm in love with your body And last night you were in my room And now my bedsheets smell like you Every day discovering something brand new I'm in love with your body Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I I'm in love with your body Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I I'm in love with your body Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I I'm in love with your body Every day discovering something brand new I'm in love with the shape of you Where do I even start with this?! Let me break it down... You're in love with the shape of her/her body? In other words, you just like her for her appearance. *sigh* Ed, didn't you parents, teachers, or anyone ever teach you it's what's on the inside that matters? I learned that in like diaper school. Loving someone just for their "shape" comes off as extremely shallow. What if this girl you love for her "shape" actually has a terrible personality inside? Or herpes? Also, I read somewhere that this song is supposed to promote body positivity, which I think is a good message, but why would it be included in a sex song?! What were you thinking, Ed?! "Push and pull like a magnet do"? No, Ed, it's "like a magnet does." Did you really forgo basic grammar just to make a cheap rhyme? This line could've been easily fixed with "like magnets do." Granted, it doesn't flow as well but it makes a lot more sense. Also, I can't believe I'm complaining about the grammar in a pop song. Fuckin' magnets... I should've brought up this issue in my "Shake It Off" entry so I'll bring it up here. The chorus is too damn long. By itself, it's 40 seconds. With the pre-chorus, it's a whopping 52 seconds long! Are you trying to bore the listeners?! Long choruses should not be in pop songs. They're not catchy. In my opinion, the chorus should've ended after the first "oh-I-oh-I" part. Oh, and remember when I hoped the "bing-bong" would stop at the chorus? Nope, it keeps on playing throughout the chorus. Are you kidding me, Ed?! Are you trying to bore and annoy your listeners?! In pretty much every song I've listened to throughout my life, the music changes with the chorus and/or verses, even if the change is minor. This has to be one of the laziest songs ever made, both musically and lyrically. It's even lazier than "Shake It Off," and that's saying something. Then again, maybe the second verse might change my mind... One week in we let the story begin We're going out on our first date You and me are thrifty, so go all you can eat Fill up your bag and I fill up a plate We talk for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour And how your family is doing okay Leave and get in a taxi, then kiss in the backseat Tell the driver make the radio play, and I'm singing like... Nope, it's more the same shit. More unsexy lyrics followed by that long-ass chorus with that relentless "bing-bong." Do I need to complain any further about the "bing-bong"?! You can make a drinking game out of how many times I say "bing-bong." I haven't been this enraged at a song since "Shake It Off." It just begs the question: What the hell were they thinking?! *sigh* After that, we get to the bridge... I think... Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on Come on, be my baby, come on This is the only part of the song where the "bing-bong" isn't heard. I would say it's refreshing, but not really. It's just one line repeated eight times, and you all know how much I hate that. Also, I never understood why 'baby' is a pet name. It sounds degrading if you ask me. Alright, I think now's the time to wrap this up. Pip-pip cheerio! And that was "Shape of You" by Ed Sheeran. Do I hate this song? Well, if you made it this far, you should already know. Now let me break it down for ya. My biggest issue with this song is the music, more specifically, the "bing-bong." Whether it's a melody or a beat, it's one of the worst pieces of music I have ever heard. Aside from the bridge, it's played throughout the entire song. Unacceptable. The lyrics don't help much either. Ed Sheeran's attempt at a sex song comes off as either generically bland or extremely cringy and it also made me feel dirty inside. Overplayed? Hell yeah it was is! I heard this song multiple times a day in late 2017 and I still hear to this day. Just the first note makes my blood pressure skyrocket to Yugopotamia. Now some of you are probably wondering if I hate Ed Sheeran. Surprisingly, I don't. I don't find him as irritating as most other pop stars, but boy, did he make quite a stinker of a song. Now for the final score. And that concludes this entry of Musical Manslaughter. How do you feel about this song? If you like it, that's fine. This is Woohoo, signing off.
  9. What's up, everypony? Woohoo here with my atrocious intro writing abilities. Anyways, welcome to the first entry of Musical Manslaughter, because you can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter' and these songs are jokes. While I was planning MMS, I was thinking, "how should I kick off the series?" or "what song should I do first?" It didn't take me long to choose one. There is a song... a certain song... A certain song that infuriates me to unspeakable levels. It makes my blood pressure skyrocket to Pluto whenever I hear even the slightest note on the radio. It rustles my jimmies to Oblivion and back. This song causes me nothing but agony and misery... and pain... and ridicule and anger and pain... and suffering... and pain... Alright, I'm done with my long winded overly-exaggerated rambling. If you didn't catch the little reference in the logo (which I combined with the popular meme "extra thicc"), that song is... "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift Taylor, you perv! VEVO couldn't have picked a worse thumbnail Oh boy, this is going to be a doozy... Before I rip apart this song, I want to talk a little bit about the artist behind the song: Taylor Swift. She really needs no introduction. In less than a decade, she transformed herself from a sweet curly-haired country princess into arguably the biggest female pop star in the world. Everyone has their opinion on Tay-Tay, whether you love, hate, or probably not care at all about her. With all of the success she’s had, it’s not really surprising that she'd be polarizing. As for my opinion? Up until 2014, I was never a fan of Taylor. I simply saw her as just another popular singer who made one-dimensional yet sometimes catchy music. I never really cared about her relationships, breakups, or feuds, though I did find a bit annoying but that's just me. But then, everything changed in the summer of 2014 when the Fire Nation attacked she made "Shake it Off," a song addressing how she's shaking off all the haters. Since then, I absolutely can't fucking stand her anymore! Just the mention of her name makes my face go full on Yellow Diamond. Damn, I'm rambling again... So how did this one song forever tarnish my perception on Taylor Swift... let's break it down. So the song begins with a very basic beat. Nothing good, nothing bad, it's just somewhat tolerable (for now...) But then the lyrics come in... I stay out too late, got nothing in my brain, That's what people say, mmhmm, that's what people say, mmhmm Wow, only 15 seconds in and we already have a red flag. First off, who the hell is complaining about you staying out too late? I mean, you have concerts to perform and those go on pretty late. The only person who should be concerned about staying out too late is yourself. To say people complain about you staying out too late is a crock of shit. As for "got nothing in my brain," maybe it's because people think you have the mentality of a 15 year old, which goes into the next lines... I go on too many dates (chuckles), but I can't make 'em stay, At least that's what people say, mmhmm, that's what people say, mmhmm Ugh, that chuckle was so unnecessary... Honestly, I don't really care about who you date. You can date whoever you want. Hell, you can date a rock and I still wouldn't care. Although I think Maud Pie would have a problem with that. As for the people who do complain about you "going on too many dates but can't make them stay," it's probably because of two things. They're sick and tired of you writing songs about your breakups. They think know you make them want to break up with you so you can write yet another song about bad they were, which usually becomes a hit on the charts and makes you more money. Maybe one day, you will realize that maybe, just maybe, you are the problem... Moving on! But I keep cruising, can’t stop, won’t stop moving It's like I got this music in my mind, saying "It's gonna be alright" It's not gonna be alright... because I have to hear the goddamn chorus right now! ‘Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off Heart-breakers gonna break, break, break, break, break And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off Ho... ly... shit, this is horrible! One of the worst choruses I ever heard! Where do I even begin with this?!... "Players gonna play?" "Haters gonna hate?" Why are you stating the obvious?! Are you also gonna tell me the sky is blue or night is black?This has got to be some of her laziest songwriting ever. No effort whatsoever. It's even lazier than Rebecca Black's "Friday" and that's saying something. Do you really need to repeat last word of each line five times? Why so much repetition?! Do you really think that's catchy?! Do you realize repeating the same things over and over is annoying to many people? There is a very fine line between catchy and annoying. This song not only crosses the line, it fucking obliterates it. Nothing says "I don't care about what the haters say" than putting weeks/months worth of effort into writing a song to tell them that. Frankly, the more you keep hammering that into their brains, the more likely they'll think that you actually do care about what they say. Wow, that was a mouthful. Seriously, if you can't handle criticism, constructive or otherwise, then you are probably in the wrong profession. Then again, I should've expected this from the same artist who wrote the song "Mean," verbally attacking a critic for, of all horrible things, doing his job. America's Sweetheart, everybody... Ugh, not even a halfway there and I'm already losing my sanity, but I can't stop now... Onto the next verse. I never miss a beat, I'm lightning on my feet That's what they don't see, mmhmm, that's what they don't see, mmhmm I'm dancing on my own, I make the moves up as I go That's what they don't know, mmhmm, that's what they don't know, mmhmm What the hell does dancing have to do with shaking off the haters?! I'm not gonna waste too much time on this verse, probably because it's so confusing, so I'm just gonna comment on just this one line. Lightning on your feet, you say? Sorry Taylor, but you ain't got shit on Sanic the HegeHoge. He's the fastest meme aliiiiiiive! Like any other song, we get another repeat of the chorus, except more "Shake it Offs" are added in! WHYYYY?! Do you realize repeating the same things over and over is annoying to many people?! Great, now I'm repeating myself! So now we get to... the bridge... Hey, hey, hey, just think while you’ve been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of the world... Yes I am down and out, because you're one of them. You could've been getting down to this... sick.. beat... Remember earlier when I said the beat of this song was tolerable? Well, after this one line, it becomes intolerable! Sick beat... seriously, Taylor?! You call that beat sick?! It sounds like it was made in Pro-Tools using the "Make a Random Beat" button! Then again, I guess that beat is sick... sickeningly obnoxious! You want to hear a real sick beat? Hit it, professor! My ex-man brought his new girlfriend, she’s like “Oh, my god!” but I’m just gonna shake And to the fella over there with the hella good hair, won’t you come on over, baby? We can shake, shake, shake Because it wouldn't be a Taylor Swift hit song without mentioning one of her exes. Also, stop trying to rap. You're making yourself look like a bigger fool than you already are. Alright, time to wrap this up. We get one more repeat of the damn chorus... except with even more "Shake it offs" added in! Once again, WHYYYYYY?! Enough is ENOUGH! Why do you keep repeating yourself?! Did you not have any ideas how to end your song or did you just not feel like it? That's so lazy! Every time I hear you say "shake it off," I feel like I lose 10 IQ points each time! Just when I'm about to completely lose my sanity, the song finally ends. And that was "Shake it Off" by Taylor Swift. Do I still hate this song? Hell yeah! Is it any better than when I first heard it in 2014? Hell no! You know why? Let me break it down for ya. The lyrics are so lazy, poorly structured, and most of all, overly repetitious. Her vocals sound so processed and grating, far from her sweet sounding voice from her early days, and the beat is sickeningly obnoxious (thanks to a certain line.) The overall repetition in this song... oh boy, of the 585 words (yeah I counted) used in this song, the titular line was used 36 times and the word "shake" by itself was used a whopping 78 TIMES! That's more times than Justin Bieber says "Baby" in his signature song. In fact, at least 60% of this song is spent repeating itself, and I find that unacceptable! I know that music is built on repetition, but this song went way too far. Alright, enough about the repetition let's talk about overplayed-ness. When this song first came out, it hit number one on the charts and I could not get away. I think I heard this song like at least 5 times a day almost everywhere I went during late 2014-early 2015, constantly getting stuck in my head and giving me migraines! There was one day where I heard this song being played on five different radio station at the exact same time! While I'll admit the song has a decent message of being yourself and not taking shit from anyone, that gets completely lost within the surrounding nonsense. I find it very nonsensical that she wasted so much effort to write a song to tell the haters that she's going to shake 'em off. If she really wanted to shake 'em off, she shouldn't have made this song. If anything, this song probably reinforced their hatred of her as well as spawning more haters, including myself. As for negative effects on me, there were a lot, but let me list a few... Lost what little resect I had for Taylor Swift... also Max Martin, who went from producing my favorite jams like "I Want It That Way" and "It's My Life" to this train-wreck! This song got stuck in my head constantly to the point of agony. Lost faith in humanity at one point. I would have Taylor related nightmares almost every night for over a year, not even Luna could save me. Friends and co-workers teased me and claimed I secretly loved Taylor. Aren't they a little old to be teasing?! My dad and I got stuck in her traffic when she came to Seattle in August 2015 and we missed my ferry to Bainbridge Island. Now for the final score. Pretty abysmal, isn't it? Yeah I consider this the worst song I ever heard, but this is just my opinion. If you like this song, that's alright, I won't hate you. And that concludes the first entry of Musical Manslaughter. Join me next time when I rip apart a song that claims to be a tribute to one of the greatest singers of the last century when the song is actually a ridiculously corny sex song... Now I wait for the Swifties to come and eviscerate me...
  10. What's up, everypony? Woohoo here and welcome back to Musical Manslaughter, because you can't spell slaughter without laughter and these songs are jokes. This entry will be a little different from the last ones. With the previous entries, I tore apart songs from artists that I either dislike or don't care about. For this entry, I'm tearing into a song from an artist I actually like. Normally I talk about the artist after I present the song I'm reviewing, but like I said earlier, this entry will be different. If you can't tell by the font I used in the logo, the artist I'm talking about is Metallica. These guys need no introduction. They're arguably the most successful heavy metal band of all time and also one of the best selling music artists ever. I, myself, am a pretty big fan of the band for about a few years now. However, just because I'm a big fan doesn't mean I support everything the band does, and frankly, Metallica has done a few... questionable things from the mid 1990s to the early 2000s that have disillusioned most of their fans, such as releasing albums with bodily fluids as the front artwork, cutting their hair and dressing up as Cuban pimps, and their infamous lawsuit against Napster. For this entry, I'm talking about one particular song they made in 2003, which is the title track of their infamous eighth album... St. Anger... Oh boy, this will be fun. I've been wanting to rip apart this song for a long time... Before I tear this song apart, I just want to tell you that I actually wanted this song to be the first entry of Musical Manslaughter, that is until I heard "Shake it Off" on the radio... Alright, enough of my shuckin' and jivin'... Let's break it down... Believe or not, my first problem with this song is the title. "St. Anger?" Last time I checked, Anger is one of the deadly sins. Putting Saint and Anger together makes it sound like an Oxymoron. How the hell did they come up this? Did they draw random words from out of a hat or did they have help from some Manatees... Great, I'm already losing it and I haven't even started the damn song... Anyways, onto the song. Like with most Metallica songs, this song starts off with a riff. It's not one of their best but it's somewhat tolerable... so long as James doesn't say "this sick riff." So far, it doesn't seem too bad... that is until you hear this... * PONG, PONG, PONG, PONG! * What in the name of Heaven, Hell and everything in between was that?! * PONG, PONG! ** PONG, PONG! * * PONG, PONG! * Seriously, what was that sonic shitfest of a sound that had the displeasure of assaulting my eardrums?! Is that the sound of all encompassing negativity pounding through the fabric of space and time?! Maybe... you wanna know what that sound really is? It's the sound of the snare drum! Now you're probably wondering 'why does the snare sound so bad?' It's because during the recording of this album, Lars Ulrich turned the snare off of his snare drum, giving it a much louder ring. Apparently, Lars liked the sound of it so much, he decided to use it on the album. Uh, Lars, I have a quick question for you... Why would you do this, Lars?! Your snare is so loud and jarring that it distracts from the vocals and other instruments! It almost sounds like you're drumming on a cooking pot! This is just so... what's the word I'm looking for? I know, unprofessional! So after 30-something seconds of incessant instrumentation, we finally reach the lyrics... Saint Anger 'round my neck, Saint Anger 'round my neck, He never gets respect, Saint Anger 'round my neck... Uh, James, who is this St. Anger? Why is he around your neck? Is he choking you because you disrespected him? Can anybody explain what's going on here?! I have a feeling this song will score really high on 'nonsensicality.' (You flush it out, flush it out) Saaaaint Anger 'round my neck, (You flush it out, flush it out) Heeee never gets respect, (You flush it out, flush it out) Saaaaint Anger 'round my neck, (You flush it out, flush it out) Heeee never gets respect... So... to get rid of St. Anger, you have to flush it out? Like a turd? I still don't get it! Why are these lyrics so damn cryptic?! Also, James, why are you trying to sound like Chester Bennington? Why not sing "Craaaawling in my skiiiiin," while you're at it. Ugh, this song is making my head spin... like Peridot stuck in a toilet. Fuck it all and no regrets, I hit the lights on these dark sets I need a voice to let myself, to let myself go free Fuck it all and fuckin' no regrets, I hit the lights an these dark sets Medallion noose, I'll hang myself, St. Anger 'round my neck... Believe it or not, I consider this moment to be the "highlight" of the whole song... and I use the word "highlight" very loosely. Mainly because it references the lyrics of two classic Metallica songs, "Damage Inc." from Master of Puppets and "Hit the Lights" from Kill 'em All. However, those references will not save this song. I feel my world shake, like an earthquake Hard to see clear, is it me? Is it fear? I'm madly in anger with you, I'm madly in anger with you I'm madly in anger with you, I'm madly in anger with you Wow... just wow... I can't believe how much the band has fallen lyrically. This is almost "Shake it Off" level nonsensicality. And to think this song came from the same band who wrote classic songs like "Master of Puppets," "One," "Fade to Black," "Enter Sandman," etc. Maybe the next verse might be better... Saint Anger 'round my neck-- Wait, didn't we already hear this verse?! You mean to tell me that you couldn't think of another verse so you decided the first verse all over again?! It just makes me wonder what was going on at Metallica HQ during that time. As it turned out, 2001-2003 was a very tumultuous time for the band, to the point where they almost broke up. Many factors, including the departure of longtime bassist Jason Newsted, James Hetfield going to rehab as well as rebuilding his relationship with his family, and their lack of any pre-written material set the stage for this monstrosity. James Hetfield later said the album's sessions were so open-minded that they became unfocused and they pretty much embraced every dumb idea so no one's feelings would get hurt. I guess that explains the ridiculous songwriting here. This whole period was documented in the 2004 documentary Some Kind of Monster. Now let's get back to the song. Like I said earlier, we get another repeat of the first verse and chorus... actually, no, it's just one big chorus. Usually after the second chorus of any Metallica song, there would be a guitar solo from Kirk Hammett, right? Right? Nope. Turns out, there are no guitar solos anywhere on this song or on the entire album. Not a single tap of the Wah-Wah pedal or a twitch of the Whammy bar from Kirk, none. A lot of people were upset over the lack of solos when this album came out. As for me, I'm not that upset but a solo would've been nice to break up the monotony. That's another thing wrong with this song, it's long. Granted, it's not as long and boring as "American Pie" but "St. Anger" is even more irritating. It's seven and a half minutes of Lars playing a pot, incessantly repetitive riffing, and cryptically ridiculous lyrics. And I want my anger to be healthy And I want my anger just for me And I need my anger not to control me And I want my anger to be me And I need to set my anger free And I need to set my anger free And I need to set my anger free And I need to set my anger free Set it free! Now I get it. This song is about setting your anger free in a healthy way. Kinda like how I'm setting my anger free through this blog. One thing, why you gotta be so repetitive? I think now's the time to wrap things up. That was "St. Anger" by Metallica. Do I hate this song? As James would say in the old days, Abso-fuckin-lutely! Here's why... The lyrics, music, structure, and production are just... *sigh* They take horrendousness up to 11, not just by Metallica standards, but music standards in general. I mean, turning off the snare? What was Lars thinking?! In terms of repetition, it's pretty high. Hearing the same long verse twice in a row is such a chore to sit through. Meanwhile, the title of the song was used 13 times while the word 'anger' by itself was used 37 times. Granted, it's merely half as repetitive as "Shake it Off" but that's quite repetitive for Metallica. While this song has had no negative effects on me (aside from the annoying pong-pong), it had some on the band. When the album came out in 2003, despite debuting at number one on the Billboard and winning a Grammy, it garnered a lot of harsh criticism from critics and fans alike, calling it one of the worst albums ever made. However, on a more positive note, Metallica emerged a healthier and stronger band afterwards. James Hetfield described the St. Anger album as a purge, getting all the negativity out of him and a catalyst for the next chapter of the band. Thankfully, they've made great albums again with Death Magnetic and Hardwired to Self Destruct... well at least in my opinion. Now for the final score. Some categories went up to 11, they're that bad. And that concludes this entry of Musical Manslaughter. For my next entry... I don't know what I'm gonna do but I'll think of something... maybe...
  11. ChikoritaCheezits

    Chikorita's Top 10 Least Favorite Pokemon

    You might remember in an earlier blog I made that I listed my top 10 favorite Pokemon. Well, now it's time to flip the switch with my top 10 least favorite Pokemon. Before we start, keep in mind that this isn't a list of the top 10 weakest Pokemon. You can find lists like that on bulbapedia or maybe Smogon. These are just my top 10 personal least favorite. 10. Purugly I had a bit a trouble making up this list since there aren't that many Pokemon I don't like. Some Pokemon like this one that are lower on the list I don't hate them, I am just not to fond of them. Purugly always weirded me out. I would get sick of seeing these things since Team Galactic always carried them in Diamond, Pearl and Platinum. I also found it strange that one of the things known about it is the fact that it's ugly, especially after evolving from Glameow, who is a rather beautiful Pokemon. Sorry Purugly. 9. Lickylicky I was never really a fan of Licktung in general. It always felt like one of the filler Pokemon since it was always just there and never evolved. Plus, tongues? Really? And people say they newer designs of Pokemon aren't as creative. This thing however is worse due to the fact it managed to get an evolution. This Pokemon just looks all derpy looking. It's design looks odd to me. So this is what happens when you give a tongue Pokemon an evolution. Honestly, if this thing didn't exist then Licktung would be taking this spot. 8. Luvdisc Why does this thing exist? What is its purpose in the series? I mean it doesn't evolve, has terrible stats, and is a water type that looks like a heart for some reason. Don't ask me how those two are related. Yeah this isn't the only Pokemon who's design isn't related to its type on this list. 7. Eggecute/Eggegutor Yeah here it is. Let me get the question out of the way first. How are eggs psychic? I find it slightly worse than Luvdisc since this thing has something else that doesn't make since. How do eggs evolve into a palm tree? I've heard some Pokedex entries say they are actually seeds which would make more since, but they keep that very inconsistent. 6. All those freaking Pikachu clones (Pichu, Plusle, Minun, Pacharisu, Emolga, Dedene) We get it Game Freak, Pikachu is basically the most well known Pokemon so much that you don't even have to know anything about Pokemon and still know who Pikachu is, but really? Do we need a new Pikachu clone every generation? Pichu kind of got away with it in gen 2 since it evolves into Pikachu. But the others? I find Pacharisu adorable but still a Pikachu clone. Plusle and Minun feel like they were only implemented in the games to show off double battles. Emolga and Dedene? Well same issue as Pacharisu. I kind of wish they'd stop introducing a new electric rodent every generation just to ride off of Pikachu's popularity. 5. Patrat Not much to say. You take a Bidoof with Ratatta clone stats and give it creepy eyes that looking totally jarring. 4. Farfetch'd This is another one that falls into the "Why does this exist?" category. I mean we already had much better normal/flying types in gen 1, did this thing really need to exist? The anime made these things out to be really rare and powerful Pokemon. Well, they're only right about one of those things. They're rare cause the only place to get them is an in-game trade for a Spearow. You know, a normal/flying type that is far superior to this thing. Also, I never really liked the look on its face. It always looked like a troll who was constantly teasing me. 3. Delibird Remember when I said that Farfetch'd has a troll look to it? Well, this thing has a derpy look to it. Not to mention, that it's completely useless with its only move having a 20% chance of healing the opponent. We get it you Santa bird, you give out presents, but not to the enemy. Not to mention that there was one that at one point followed Team Rocket in the anime and it was extra annoying. 2. Unown This is the Pokemon I've always had a problem with. It's gimicky in a way where they make you wanna catch all 28 forms of this thing. It's misleading in a way that the 3rd movie made them out to be these powerful beings, when in the games they're freaking useless. And they for some reason take up their entire own ruins for some odd reason. Yeah, turn them to alphabet soup. 1. Spinda There's so many things I don't like about this thing. They have possibly an even dumber gimmick than Unown by having millions of different combinations that the spots could be on their body. Why should I care? They have quite possible the derpiest design ever. In fact, they always looked so miserable to me with the fact that they're eyes are dizzy eyes. And they're totally useless with no evolution and crummy stats. But seriously give this these things a barf bag? Thanks for reading. If I put a Pokemon you like on this list, try not to be offended.
  12. Hello everyone. Woohoo here with another entry of Musical Manslaughter, because you can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter' and these songs are jokes. Now with my previous entries, I tore apart individual songs. For this entry, I'm doing something different... I mean way different. I'm going to list the ten things in music that I hate. I may love music but there are some things in music that make my face go full on Yellow Diamond. Trying to find only ten things was a bit difficult. Also, these things I hate are in no particular order so you won't see a "ten, nine, eight," etc. Alright, enough of my shuckin' and jivin', here are the 10 things I hate about music... Auto-Tune This one is pretty obvious as almost everyone has torn Auto-Tune a new one. What I hate the most about Auto-Tune is its use... or should I say its misuse. When Auto-Tune first came out in the late 90s, it was mainly used a special effect. Its first notable use was in Cher's 1998 #1 hit "Believe." Nowadays, for the most part, it's used a crutch for "singers" who can't even carry a tune. Another thing I hate is the sound. It sounds so mechanical and unnatural, almost like a robot is singing. Where's the heart? While Auto-Tune might be useful for covering up the occasional vocal mistake, sometimes it makes the mistakes even more noticeable. A big example is Emma Watson's singing in the live action Beauty and the Beast remake. Why are artists and producers so obsessed with everything being pitch-perfect? Do they think the listener would be bothered by a few flat/sharp notes?! I'm not bothered by flats and sharps, but jarring pitch shifts and stuttering do. I don't mind Auto-Tune as an effect, but as a crutch... STOP! Just stop! By the way, if you're looking for someone to blame for Auto-Tune, don't blame Cher. That's like blaming the Wright Brothers for 9/11. Fade-Outs This one is pretty nitpicky but fade-outs are something that's always gotten under my skin. To me, fade-outs are a cop out. They're bland, uncreative, lazy, and they make the songs sound incomplete. It just feels like artists didn't feel like writing a proper outro so they just kept playing while their producer slowly turns down the volume. Another thing I hate is that fade-outs tend to drag on for way too long, which just makes me want to hit the "next song" button on my player. The worst is when a fade-out is used over an amazing guitar solo. Why would you fade out your own work?! These were extremely rampant from the 50s through 2000s. Nowadays, fade-outs have largely... faded away. Songs That Start With The Chorus I couldn't really find a good picture for this one. Another nitpicky one but I hate it when songs start with the chorus. To me, they feel like a quick and sleazy way to get the listener hooked. Personally, I prefer being warmed up with an intro and verse before getting to the chorus. I view the chorus of a song as the cream filling of an Oreo or the Tootsie center of a Tootsie-Pop. Starting the song with the chorus just spoils the song for me. It also makes the chorus much more repetitive (I'll get to that later.) There are only a handful of songs I like that start with the chorus, such as Guns N' Roses' "Paradise City," Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time," Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls," and a few others. Meanwhile, some of my least favorite songs do this, including Charlie Puth's "Marvin Gaye," Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood," ABBA's "Dancing Queen," Starship's "We Built This City," Wham's "Last Christmas," and the list goes on. Again, this one is very nitpicky. Songs That Run Too Long Before I tear into this one, let me say that I love long songs, but only if they're done right and most of the time, they are. However, there are some songs that are seven, eight, or well over ten minutes long when only half the time is needed. The biggest offenders in my eyes, or should I say ears, are "Hey Jude" by The Beatles, "American Pie" by Don McLean, and "St. Anger" by Metallica. "Hey Jude" starts of promising for the first three minutes, but the last four minutes of relentless "Na-na-na-nas" utterly ruin the song for me. "American Pie" is nothing but verse-chorus-verse-chorus and a slight tempo change for a whopping eight and a half minutes. Boring! With "St. Anger," who knows what Metallica were thinking, especially since they've made some amazing long songs like "And Justice for All" and "The Outlaw Torn." These songs really should be only three, four, or at most five minutes long. In my opinion, the best long songs are the ones they don't feel long and you hope would never end. Some great examples include Rush's "2112," Pink Floyd's "Echoes," Iron Maiden's "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" and many more. If you're going to make a long song, at least make it interesting. Don't be afraid to be creative. Bad Audio Mixing Have you ever listened to a song and it's so loud that it feels like your eardrums might explode? So you turn it down to a comfortable level only for the next song/part of the song to be so quiet you can barely hear it? How about when the music drowns out the vocals and vice-versa? That's bad mixing and I hate it, especially the ongoing "Loudness War." An infamous example of the Loudness War's effect was Metallica's 2008 album Death Magnetic. A pretty good album but the mix is so loud that it's difficult to hear at a comfortable level. I would have to change volume constantly. Why can't these big time artists and producers mix their goddamn audio right?! Are they that oblivious?! Why am I you asking these questions?! *sigh* Time to move on... Songs With "Featured" Artists I don't really mind having another singer or musician in your song, but lately it's getting on my nerves. Some recent examples of this include "Baby" by Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris, "Bad Blood" by Taylor Swift featuring Kendrick Lamar, "Right Round" by Flo Rida featuring Ke$ha, and "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry featuring Juicy J. What bothers me the most about this is it just feels like a commercial for the featured artist. They're usually there for less than a minute, sometimes a bit more, and they're done. It almost feels like they're featured just for a paycheck... wait. Another thing is they're not given a whole lot of time to shine. Why have them in your song if you're not going to fully utilize their talent? They really should be called "sponsored" instead of "featured." Once again, I don't mind this. It has been done right before, such as "Under Pressure" by Queen and David Bowie. At least Bowie wasn't treated like a background singer and shared roughly the same amount of lead vocals as Freddie Mercury. But these recent examples just make me shake my head... and not in a good way. Annoying Vocalizations This thing I hate is pretty layered so let me break it down for you... 1. Non-lexical vocables: If you don't know what these are, they are nonsense syllables like "la-las," "na-nas," "doot-dos," "whoa-ohs," "hey-heys," "yeah-yeahs," etc. Except for very few instances, I've always hated these; they're so ridiculous and stupid. I always cringe if they're used as legitimate lyrics, such as "Hey Jude" and "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye." Blech! How about using some actual words! 2. Elongating Words: This one's nitpicky but I hate when a single word is stretched out to fill a measure. One big example of this that pisses me off is... say it with me now... "AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOU." -Whitney Houston ...And I will always loathe that song because of that. There's nothing impressive about elongating the letter I. You're just destroying your vocal chords. I also hate when singers "stutter" words to fill a measure, such as Katy Perry's "E.T." and Rihanna's "This Is What You Came For." It just makes my vocal cords crawl. 3. Poor Enunciation: This pisses me off the most. I absolutely hate not being able to understand the words of a song. I've heard enunciations so poor that they sound like a different language. Some of the worst 'enunciators' in my opinion are Arianna Grande, Sia, Vince Neil, and Kurt Cobain. Why be a singer if we can't even understand what the fuck you're singing?! Other vocalizations that annoy me include too much vibrato, over and under-singing, and overly nasally voices. Love Songs Aside from a very, VERY, VERY select few, I... really... hate... love songs! I can say, without a doubt, that love is the most oversung topic in the history of music. Most love songs to me are just "I love you, you love me," mixed in with some pathetically cheesy lines, overused rhymes like girl/world and fire/desire, all laid on top of some slow and sappy melody and beat. I also feel the same way with sex songs and breakup songs. Why the hell can't you sing about something else?! There's a whole lot more to life than love! Then again, maybe I just hate love songs because I'm forever alone. Every time I hear a love song, I feel ridiculed for being single... Incessant Overplaying Of Popular Songs Do you ever get annoyed with hearing the same old songs everyday? I sure as hell am! In the spoiler below is a short list of what I consider to be the most overplayed songs ever... OK, it's not really a short list but you get the idea. I don't hate all of these songs but some I've heard so many times that hearing even the slightest note makes my face contort with annoyance. Why do radio stations insist on constantly playing the same old songs? Because they're popular? It's like they think they're the only songs ever made! Have they ever heard of variety?! There's a whole lot more to these artists than just their hits. It's not just on radio, but in TV shows, commercials, movies, video games, and other media. Like I said earlier, I don't hate all the songs I listed, but there is one song in particular that I absolutely loathe because of its incessant overplaying. If you haven't already guessed, it's Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off." When that song was released, I could not escape it. Everywhere I went, I heard that abomination of a song. Hell, I remember one day in November 2014 where I heard it playing on five different stations at almost the exact same time! For the love of all that everything in this universe, play something else! I don't care if it's #1 on the charts, PLAY... SOMETHING... ELSE!! That's... just... what's the word I'm thinking of? Oh yeah... Rampant Repetition Out of all the things I hate in music, this one angers me the most. I'm fully aware music is built on repetition, but there are some songs, especially recently, that are so goddamn repetitive! Some recent examples include Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off," Justin Bieber's "Baby," and Carly Rae Jepsen's "I Really Like You." These three songs have one thing in common, they repeat a single word in their title over 50 FUCKIN' TIMES! Many artists are guilty of this, not just today's, but music legends have done this as well. You wanna know how many "na-na-nas" are in "Hey Jude?" 162! What were they thinking?! Sometimes it's not just single words or vocables that are overly repeated, but entire verses and chorus, too. I especially hate it when the chorus is overly repeated at the end of the song. Do I really need to give an example of this? It's almost as worse as a fade-out. It just makes me wonder, do they really think that the more they repeat something, the catchier it'll be? I guess we may never know. In my opinion, there is a very fine line between "catchy" and "annoying" and most songs either just cross it or obliterate it. I would rant more about repetition, but then I'd be just repeating myself. And those are the 10 things I hate about music. This is a blog I've wanted to make for a while but didn't have the inspiration... which I finally got when I watched TJ Kirk's "21 Things I Hate About Movies" video. What are things in music that you hate? Leave a comment down below. This is Woohoo, signing off.
  13. While Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash have clearly developed and grown as characters since Season 1, it feels like Pinkie Pie has gone the other way. I mean, if you watch the episodes from Seasons 1-3 with her in them, she's hyper but just wants to make everyone around her happy, and you can tell she really cares about her friends. But since Season 4, she's frequently shown complete disregard for everypony around her, constantly getting in the way of her friends, not always noticing when somepony's upset, and just generally being annoying and insensitive. Prime examples of this are Filli Vanilli where she's seemingly trying to make Fluttershy cry, Rock Solid Friendship where she continuously gets between Maud and Starlight and it's virtually impossible to get her to shut up and go away, and Yakity-Sax where she just completely ignores everything around her and destroys the town with her horrible Yovidaphone playing. I mean, Pinkie Pie was always the loud talkative one, but in the first three seasons she at least had a filter and some common sense. Now she's devolved into a loud, insensitive idiot. The current writers seem to be unable to write Pinkie properly and have stripped away everything that originally made her an endearing character. When I first started watching, Pinkie was my second-favorite character behind Fluttershy. Now she's become my least favorite of the Mane 6 and one of my least favorites in the series. What does everypony else think? Has Pinkie Pie seriously regressed this much or am I being too harsh on her and the writers? P.S. Apologies to any Pinkie fans out there, but this is my opinion and if your opinion is different, I'll respect it.
  14. Finished watching Aggretsuko I thought of a fun game to try here. You have to write a rant about the poster above you in the style of a death metal song. Follow the example. 1.) Only rant about the user above you, if you don't know them..find something to rant about (Their could even make something up.) 2.) All caps..bold it if you want for emphasis. 3.) No foul language or deep personal's just for fun. 4.) Have fun! Example: target: Gobo FACES, SO MANY FACES! WHY WON'T YOU STICK TO ONE AVATAR ALREADY!? YOU CHANGE YOUR AVATAR MORE THAN I CHANGE MY SOCKS! STOP ALREADY
  15. *blows away dust* Whoa, I guess it's been a while since I've done of these... Anyways, hey everypony, Woohoo here with another Musical Manslaughter, because you can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter' and these songs are jokes. Now I know it's been a long time since done one of these. It's mostly because I haven't found any songs that really make me angry. Then December arrived... and you know what means? Yep, it's that time of the year. For the most part, I like the holiday season... except for one thing, the music. The incessant overplaying of the same dozen-some songs and like 100 different versions of 'em in almost every public place, which drives me up a wall. While there are a few Christmas songs that I enjoy, there are some that I absolutely despise. For this entry, I'm going to tear into two of my most hated Christmas songs, one classical and one modern. Let's break it down. Let's start off with the classical Christmas song. This is a song that everyone and their great-great-great-great-grandmother knows... and that song is "The Twelve Days of Christmas." This is a random version of 12DOC I picked. Not hatin' on Bing Crosby All my life, I've never really understood this song and why it's so popular. I just don't know why. Alright, enough of my rambling, let's break it down. Since I don't want to waste too much of your time, I'm just gonna type the lyrics from the 12th day. On the twelfth day of Christmas My true love gave to me Twelve drummers drumming Eleven pipers piping Ten lords-a-leaping Nine ladies dancing Eight maids-a-milking Seven swans-a-swimming Six geese-a-laying Five golden rings Four calling birds Three French hens Two turtle doves And a partridge in a pear tree *inhales deeply* Where do I begin? Guess I'll start from day one ... and I will portray myself as a disgruntled boyfriend. 1. A Partridge in a Pear Tree: What the hell is this? All I wanted for Christmas was an iPhone and you give me a bird and a tree that require me to take care of? What's wrong with you?! I starting to question my love for you... 2. Two Turtle Doves: What? Now I have three birds to take of?! What's wrong with you?! You could've gotten me two turtles and I wouldn't complain, but no, you went for the birds again. 3. Three French Hens: At least these birds are edible but now that's six birds, SIX BIRDS I never wanted! That's it, I'm breaking up with you! 4. Four Calling Birds: That's ten birds now!! I need to file a restraining order against you. 5. Five Golden Rings: Wow, a gift that's not aviary related, although I'll probably just sell the rings so I can buy bird food. Maybe you're not so crazy after all... 6. Six Geese a-Laying: AW COME ON! Back to the birds again!?!?! Now I have sixteen birds squawking and shitting all over my house! And they are fucking too? What mental asylum did you break out of? 7. Seven Swans a-Swimming: Twenty... three... birds... and swans are assholes! Enough is ENOUGH! I have had it with these motherfucking birds in my motherfucking house! Seriously, which asylum?! 8. Eight Maids a-Milking: You finally stopped giving me birds, but now you're giving me people?! Also, what are they milking? Did they bring their own cows, too?! So now I have 23 birds, 8 cows (possibly), and 8 people. 9: Nine Ladies Dancing: Wait, where are you getting these people from? Unless... you're a human trafficker! I'm reporting you to the FBI! 10. Ten Lords a-Leaping: You mean like Sith Lords on a trampoline? Have you seen those guys? They don't look like the leaping type... 11. Eleven Pipers Piping: As if the birds squawking wasn't enough, now I have 11 more people playing the most obnoxious instrument in the universe! 12. Twelve Drummers Drumming: STOP THE MADNESS!!!!!1!11!1! ~*~*~*~ *inhales sharply... again* So let's go over all the gifts I've received. One pear tree One trampoline Five gold rings Eight cows (maybe?) Twenty three birds Fifty people ...And most of these things don't even relate to Christmas, especially the birds. Don't they fly south for winter? All I wanted was an iPhone and you give me all this shit. If your true love gives any of these things to you for Christmas, then he/she is an animal hoarding, human trafficking, noise polluting psychopath. My advice, break up with them, report them to the FBI, an have them committed to an insane asylum. As for my thoughts on the song, let me show you in .gif form... For my whole life, I never understood this song. This is not only one of the most nonsensical Christmas songs ever, but one of the most nonsensical songs ever! I know the 12 days represent the days between the birth of Jesus and the arrival of the Three Kings, but what do all those gifts mean? It's even more cryptic than "American Pie," which I already reviewed earlier this year. Whoever wrote this song must have been wasted on a few jugs of moonshine. It's also so damn repetitive. Hearing the same lyrics over and over is so tiring that I'm already bored by day four. Now for the final score... But I'm done yet. I have one more Christmas song to tear into... The final Christmas song I'm tearing into is from the wonderfully non-dystopian year of 1984, and that song is "Last Christmas" by Wham. This will be a doozy for me... let's break it down. Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special Really? That's how you want to open your song? With that lame-ass chorus. Like I said in a previous MMS, I'm not a fan of songs that start with the chorus. *sigh* Where do I begin with this... You gave me your heart? That's absolutely disgusting! That's almost as bad as all the birds and humans my ex gave me. Why would you give someone a vital organ for Christmas?! Speaking of vital, how the hell are you still alive?! "Stop being so literal, Woohoo. It's a metaphor. They just gave love to their partner for Christmas and they ignored it." Really? Love for Christmas? All I wanted was a damn iPhone! I may be forever alone single but shouldn't give your partner love like... everyday? No wonder they gave it away. That's enough on the chorus, onto the verses... Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance but you still catch my eye Tell me, baby, do you recognize me? Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me (Merry Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it With a note saying, "I love you, " I meant it Now, I know what a fool I've been But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again ~ A crowded room, friends with tired eyes I'm hiding from you, and your soul of ice My god, I thought you were someone to rely on Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on A face on a lover with a fire in his heart A man under cover but you tore me apart Now, I've found a real love you'll never fool me again You know, a thought just occurred to me. The more I listen to this song, the more I wonder: How is this even a Christmas song? There's nothing really Christmassy about this song other than a few uses of the word "Christmas" and the use of sleigh bells in the beat. To me, this song just feels like a lame breakup pop song you'd hear on the radio pretty much any time of the year. This is my unpopular opinion but I don't really consider "Last Christmas" to be a true Christmas song. It just doesn't have the Christmassy feeling that other Christmas songs have... at least the songs I like. Out of all the Christmas songs I hate, "Last Christmas" was the song I dreaded hearing the most. I can't stand hearing the original version by Wham or any damn version for this song. Even if an artist I liked covered it, I'd still hate it. In fact, there was a year in my life where I didn't want to celebrate Christmas because it would mean I would be hearing this song a bazillion times again. Yeah, those were dark times for me. So, do I still hate this song? Well, what do you think?! Now for the final score. Just a few points lower than "Twelve Days" but still bad. Lol, 69 And that concludes this entry of Musical Manslaughter. If you like these songs, that's fine. Hope you all have a Merry Christmas. Maybe next year, I'll get that iPhone...
  16. What's up, everypony? Woohoo here and welcome back to Musical Manslaughter, because you can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter' and these songs are jokes. Hope you all enjoyed your Fourth of July, because there's no better way to celebrate our independence than gorging ourselves with hot dogs, guzzling down beer, and blowing up fireworks. Anyway, on to the blog. So with the previous entries, I tore apart a couple of popular songs from the current decade. Now there are plenty of songs from this decade I wanna tear into, but if I continue in this direction, I'll eventually get a comment like this... OK, extremely over exaggerated but you get the idea. I am not one of those people on YouTube who post comments like "I was born in the wrong generation," "Music was soooo much better back then," or even "[Number of Dislikes] are Bieber Fans," etc. Despite all the crazy shit going on now, I actually prefer living in this generation. For this entry of MMS, we're doing something a little different. I'm going to take you back to the past... to shred a shitty song that sucks ass. A song from a magical time called the 1970s, where the only ways to access music were the radio or buying the album at a record store. Now this particular song has irritated me for a long time. A song that I have loathed for most of my life, as early as nine years old... and that song is "American Pie" by Don McLean. Now I bet you're wondering, "How can you hate this song?! You're a traitorous socialist fascist commie terrorist if you hate this song!" OK, how am I all of those things for hating a song?! Wait, why am I responding to my exaggerated hater comment?! Let's get back on topic... so why do I hate this iconic song? Let's break it down. Unlike the last two songs I reviewed, which started off with either a sickeningly obnoxious beat or the worst chorus in music history, "American Pie" actually starts of quite nicely with a soft piano melody and its first verse... A long, long, time ago, I can still remember how that music used to make me smile And I knew if I had my chance, that I could make those people dance and, maybe, they'd be happy for a while... Kinda like how I used to somewhat enjoy this song. However, after these couple lines, things start going downhill. But February made me shiver with every paper I delivered Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn't take one more step I can't remember if I cried when I read about his widowed bride But something touched me deep inside, the day the music died... Now we've reached my first major problem with this song, the line "the day the music died." Does this song even explain what it is? Nope. Alright, since Donny's not going to explain what it is, I guess I'll have to. Gather around, it's time for a little history lesson with Woohoo... No one sings like them anymore On February 3rd, 1959, Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and J.P. Richardson (aka The Big Bopper) boarded a plane in Mason City, IA en-route to Fargo, ND. Tragically, not long after takeoff, the plane lost control during a winter storm and crashed into a nearby cornfield, killing all three musicians and the pilot. To many people, this was a significant loss for the music industry as all three were prominent figures in the early days of Rock n' Roll. Do you want to know where did the name "The Day the Music Died" actually came from... the song I'm ranting on now! Thanks to "American Pie," which came out over a decade after the tragedy, this event is now known as the "The Day the Music Died." Now I usually save "Unfortunate Effects" until the end, but... WHY!? That's so ridiculous! I know their loss was tragic, but with a name like "The Day the Music Died," it just implies that all music died with them. Music can never die, it may have been wounded on that day, but it will never die... only the people who create it can. And why stop at "The Day?" Let's call last year "The YEAR the Music Died" due to how many famous musicians died then! Great, I'm already losing my sanity and I haven't reached the chorus yet. Speaking of which, the chorus is up next... So bye, bye, Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry And them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye Singin' "This'll be the day that I die" This'll be the day that I die I mean, seriously... what the hell does all that stuff have to do with this musical tragedy?! This chorus is absolutely nonsensical! I... I don't think I can comment any further... except maybe there's some deep psychological meaning hidden there, but I'm not going to waste my damn time trying to find out what it is... Speaking of time wasted, that goes into my next major problem, and probably the biggest problem with this song. It's... so... fucking... loooong! This song is a whopping eight minutes and thirty seven seconds long, the longest song ever to hit number one on the Billboard Hot 100, and it's nothing but verse-chorus-verse-chorus and so on. There are no bridges, no solos, no time changes, and not a single instrumental section longer than a few seconds to break up the monotony, it's just lyrics. Sure, the tempo changes slightly after the first chorus, but that doesn't change either! It's definitely one of those songs that tricks your brain to thinking it might be over, but nope, it keeps going on and on and on... There's a certain word to describe this song. Take it away, Pinkie! Now you're probably thinking "Oh, you just hate long songs! You must have ADD or have an attention span of a squirrel!" That's not true. I love long songs when they're done right. "American Pie" is an example of a long song done wrong. There are many long song I enjoy eons more than "American Pie," some are even longer than longer than this festering pile of boredom. Here are a few examples that I like: Rush - "2112" 20:32 Pink Floyd - "Echoes" 23:30 Iron Maiden - "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" 13:34 Guns N' Roses - "Coma" 10:17 Bon Jovi - "Dry County" 9:52 Metallica - "...And Justice For All" 9:46 Led Zeppelin - "Achilles Last Stand" 10:26 ...And many more. As for the rest of the song, the lyrics just sound like rambling. While some lyrics relate to the subject, which I think is rock 'n roll, but then you get lyrics that are completely nonsensical, like this verse... But, that's not how it used to be When the jester sang for the king and queen In a coat he borrowed from James Dean And a voice that came from you and me Oh and while the king was looking down The jester stole his thorny crown The courtroom was adjourned No verdict was returned You know what? I'm just gonna wrap things up before I lose anymore of my surviving brain cells. And that was "American Pie." Do I still hate this song? Absolutely! In fact, I hate this song even more as an adult than when I was a kid. Here's why... The lyrics, for the most part, are confusing, nonsensical, and have as much correlation as New Kids on the Block and Chinese food. While the vocals and music of this song are way better than the last two songs, because it's dragged on for over eight minutes, it makes the song irritating to me. Why they made this song so damn long, I'll never know. As I stated early, I've hated this song since I was nine, mostly due to hearing this song on the bus home almost every week during fourth grade. It doesn't help that fourth grade wasn't a very good year for me so this song does trigger some bad memories. I found this song nonsensical as a kid and I still find it nonsensical now. Maybe I'll get it better when I'm 40. I still don't get why this song is so popular... maybe it's because 'Murica. Now for the final score. That concludes this entry of Musical Manslaughter. This one was a lot more detailed than the previous entry since I had more history with this song. If you like this song, that's fine, I won't hate you. For my next song, we're going back into the past again, but not too far, to shred a terrible song by an artist I actually like.. and going to see them live really soon.
  17. Woohoo

    Musical Manslaughter: Rage Man Ivy

    What's up everypony, Woohoo here and welcome back to Musical Manslaughter, because you can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter' and these songs are jokes. Well, here I am once again, thankfully not torn into pieces. I was expected to be eviscerated by the Swifties here on the forums after I posted my entry on "Shake it Off." I guess there aren't as many Swifties here or maybe the novelty of the song has finally worn off. Anyhoo, on my last blog, I said the next song I would tear into would be a song that claims to be a tribute song to one of the greatest singers of the last century when it's really just another song about getting laid. What's the name of the song you may ask? It's in the title of the blog, "Rage Man Ivy." Well, it's an anagram of the singer's name. I'll give you a moment to figure it out. Cue the Jeopardy music! Times up! For those who figured it out, the answer is none other than... Marvin Gaye! Now before you jump to conclusions... no, I'm not tearing apart a song by Marvin Gaye. I'm way above that. I'm actually tearing apart a more recent song, which, believe it or not, is actually titled "Marvin Gaye" by Charlie Puth and featuring Meghan Trainor! I kid you not. This is an actual song! Even I can't believe this song exists. I didn't even know about this song until I saw ToddintheShadows' "Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2015" video and this song was number one... and probably for good reason. As for how much I know about these two, I don't know much about Charlie Puth, and Meghan Trainor I know about because she made the sonic shitfest that is "All About That Bass," which barely has any bass in the song. Ok, I'm done rambling now. So why do I hate this song? Let's break it down... With most pop songs, it usually opens with a few beats, the melody comes shortly after, then the first verse, and finally the chorus, which usually hooks the listener. Not this song, oh no... this song has the nerve to start with the damn chorus. And they're not by playing a little instrumental bit beforehand, oh no-no-no, this song instantly starts with the chorus, giving the listener little to no time to mentally prepare. As for the chorus, take a listen to this... Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on, you are the healing that I want Just like they say it in the song, so until the dawn, let's Marvin Gaye and get it on Hold on for a moment please, I need to find the right gif that best describes how I feel... Ah, here we are. What... the... actual... FUCK!? I.. I cannot believe what I just heard! I don't even know what to say right now, I'm in such shock from hearing this... abomination. Alright, I need to calm myself down before I do something unforgivable... *inhales* Ah, much better. There is just so much wrong with this chorus but let me focus on what I think are the worst... How dare they... Seriously, how fucking dare they use the Prince of Soul's name as a cheap euphemism for sex! These two should be ashamed of themselves! I think I can hear Marvin rolling in his grave right now. This is just disgraceful, disgusting, despicable, disrespectful, dis-... I don't have anymore dis-words, but yeah, how insulting. I'm starting think these two have no idea who Marvin Gaye was... "Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on?" Wow, such clever, much genius, very amaze... No, just no. Using a singer's name as a verb? How childish! This just hurts my brain almost as much as Taylor Swift saying "this sick beat." Anyone can come up this shit! Hell, I'll even make some up of my own: Let's Iron Maiden and Run to the Hills, let's Rolling Stones and Paint It Black, let's Michael Jackson and Beat It. I think you get the idea now. This is me personally, but I'm not particularly fond of songs that start with the chorus. To me, it just feels like a quick and easy way to get the listener hooked to the song. As for me, most of the time, I prefer to be warmed up before I'm hooked. Another thing is it makes the chorus much more repetitive than it should and you know how much I hate that. However, I can make exceptions with some songs, such as "Paradise City" by Guns N' Roses. That song knows how to warm up the listener with Slash's dream-like guitar melody and Axl's unforgettable lyrics. Other songs I like that start with the chorus: "Back in the Saddle" - Aerosmith "Can't Buy Me Love" - The Beatles "You Give Love a Bad Name" - Bon Jovi "If I Could Turn Back Time" - Cher "Any Way You Want It" - Journey "Crawling" - Linkin Park "Fuel" - Metallica "Fat Bottomed Girls" - Queen I don't think I can comment any further. That chorus alone is a reason enough for me to hate this song. This is, without a doubt, one of the worst lines in the history of music, right up there with any of the lines from "Shake it Off." Also, this is one of the worst choruses I have ever heard in a song. It may not be as overly repetitive as "Shake It Off" but this chorus really takes the cake in terms of nonsensicality. As for the other lyrics, they're not really worth talking about. It's just another pop song about sex, as if they're aren't a million of those already. If this song wasn't titled "Marvin Gaye" and did not have that atrocious chorus, I probably would've just shrugged this song off. However, during the second chorus, this line comes in... You've got to give it up to me I'm screaming "Mercy, mercy, please!" Is that a reference to "Mercy, Mercy Me"? If so, are you kidding me?! "Mercy, Mercy Me" is about the environment, not sex! Are they implying that Marvin Gaye only wrote songs about sex?! Now I'm convinced that Chuck, Meg, and whoever the hell wrote this song have no idea who Marvin Gaye was. Why is this song even called "Marvin Gaye" when the lyrics aren't even about Marvin Gaye?! Wait, what if it's not the lyrics but the music that relates to Marvin Gaye? Maybe, just maybe... nope. The music sounds nothing like Marvin Gaye! He made Motown Soul while this audio atrocity of a song is just '50s do-wop mixed in with some atrocious trap drum track! Why does this song even exist?! Who allowed this to happen?! WHY AM I ASKING THESE QUESTIONS?!?! Alright, time to wrap this up before I reach "Shake it Off" level insanity. And that was "Marvin Gaye" by Charlie Puth and Mehgan Trainor... *Shudders* Just saying that burns my tongue. Do I hate this song? Abs-total-olutely! Is it one of the worst songs of 2015? Definitely! Here's why. The lyrics, aside from mentioning his name and a few song titles, have absolutely nothing to do with Marvin Gaye. Same with the music, nothing to do with him either. Chuck and Meg's vocals are irritating, but I think Chuck sounds the worst. He sounds like he was recently castrated. As for Meg... no comment. It's just another pop song about sex with Marvin's name slapped on it, and quite frankly, it's probably the most unsexy sex song I have ever heard. I did hear this song a lot during 2015-early 2016, but it was nowhere near the overplayed-ness of "Shake if Off," probably because it only reached 21 on the Billboard Hot 100. The nonsensicality of this song is just astronomical. I mean writing a song called "Marvin Gaye" when it's not even about Marvin Gaye? What's the point of this song's existence?! That's greater than or as equal as nonsensical as "Shake It Off," and that song has somewhat of a reason to exist. Alright, I'll stop mentioning that song. As for any unfortunate effects on me, the only effect was getting stuck in my head, though not nearly enough as... that other song. Here's some advice: if you're going to write a song named after person, famous or not, make sure the lyrics and/or music actually relate to them. Now for the final score. Not as bad as the last entry but still pretty bad. That concludes this entry of Musical Manslaughter. This entry was a little less detailed than my last entry, probably because I had less history with this song. Just remember, if you like this song, that's fine, I won't hate you. For my next song I'm tearing into, I'm going back into the past. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to Metallica and Fade to Black...
  18. Hello everypony. Woohoo here with another edition of Musical Manslaughter. because you can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter' and these songs are jokes. When I made the first entry of the MMS last year, I declared that "Shake it Off" by Taylor Swift was the worst song ever. Well, I take that back. Turns out, there is a song far worse than "Shake It Off" or any of the songs I ripped apart the past few months. This is a song that's even more irritating to my ears than "St. Anger," more insulting to my intelligence than "Marvin Gaye," more boring and excessively elongated than "American Pie," and even more overplayed than "Shake it Off." This is a song I've been... No, scratch that... everyone's been listening to since the day we were born. It's been around since the dawn of the time and will continue to exist long after all life and all time ceases to exist... Holy shit, that was longwinded! Alright, enough jucking and chiving. I'm going to reveal the name of the worst song ever... and it's name is... Silence. ... Really, what can I say about "Silence"? It's... just... nothing. The lyrics? Nothing! The music? Nothing! Artistry? Nothing! Emotion? Nothing! That's all "Silence" is, Abso-Fuckin-Lutely NOTHING! *sigh* Why people keep saying "Silence is Golden?" What's so golden about it?! It's nothing! Who came up with that phrase?! Whoever came up with that phrase, I've got a few words for ya... Now for the final score. For the first time, we get a perfect score! And that concludes this entry of Musical Manslaughter. Happy Easter Fools Day everyone!
  19. So I have been watching these And I realized that he is entirely correct. Before I get into this, please no "it's just a kids show" in the comments. So sure, Equestria is said to be a place about Friendship and happiness, but it' not. First of all let' talk about the Rulers, some would Argue that the Tree of Harmony is the true ruler and creates Alicorns as tools to fight evil, but let' focus on the more important "Rulers" I'm talking about Celestia and Luna (more Celestia than luna). So Celestia is not exactly evil, but is definitely not far from it. To start off, have you ever noticed how all of the pony inhabited places are lovely and song really have any problems( more on that later). Well let' not forget about the rest of Equestria, the parts that are in poverty, if Celestia was truly nice than she would help the other Races, such as the Griffins. Ever notice how the Griffins live in Poverty, and some could say that all of that has been fixed, but I doubt that that small place that we saw was all of the Griffins society, so why does Celestia not help them? Well song say that they song have the Recourses because Unicorns pretty much rule the world(more on that later as well) and have an endless supply of materials via magic. I think that Celestia only helps her people as we have sort of heard her alute to. That also might be why Sombre was straight up destroyed, no second chances or anything, as we have seen, they have almost no mercy on anything that could pose a threat. It's obvious that discord doesn't count, because I'm pretty sure that destroying a being that can literally do anything they want wouldn't be the best move on the Political side of things. So now to talk more about the enemies. Celestia had no leniency on Luna/Nightmare Moon because her power would be questioned, and and Luna/Nightmare Moon really posed a threat. Celestia probably could have just banished her to the moon for a quarter of the time because feelings usually dont take 1000 years to Air out( I guess?) And Nightmare Moon came to be because of feelings that built up. Now before I get any deeper in I just wanna say that if you think about it than nothing is really evil, only different points of view and objectives that some disagree with. But also about pretty much above this point I said about Celestia isn't entirely her fault. I mean, you make something one of the most powerful known beings, and however good they are, they can't always think about everyone. Being powerful is hard and most powerful things become corrupt because their scared that something might take them out of power. The way I look at it is pretty much you being born into something that your, for the most part good at, and also have the power to keep people from taking that ONE thing that your good at away. So of course things become corrupt to power.Celestia is not perfect. But i think she does her best and i dont really think that anypony can do better than her. Now my view on Celestia might seem really Passive aggressive, and sorry for my bad Sentence structure, but bare with me. ( I just had to delete half of this topic because it countered all my points) another it seems that no matter how I word it this topic keeps looping back around and I end up supporting the other end so that's what I'm gonna do( pretty much making this topic useless). But another point I want to mention is that if Equestria is such a nice place, than why is their a caste system. Sure you could say that every society has some sort of caste system, but it' different when literally 1/3 of a regions population can literally do anything they want. Yes I'm talking about the unicorns, they are pretty much on top as most people can see. But I guess that this sis not our world. And what may seem so bad to us is natural there, and probably shouldnt be interfered with. Sort of off topic, but as an example I'm gonna say, what about the holocaust. Sure it was a bad thing(in most people's eyes) but i think thats whats done is done. And under no circumstances should you alter the past, or interfere with things you dont understand. Like if you were to somehow put an end to Equestrias Caste system, them What? And if you went back in time to kill Hitler, then for all you know the world wouldn't be here. Back on topic again. To wrap this pointless jumble of words up I think that Equestria is the norm for Equestria and our world is the Norm for our World. If Equestria looked at our planet how we look at theirs than they would probably think that a ot of things are worse here. But that' just how things work. And I do believe that Equestria IS a better place than earth. But I bet if we put together a Montage of all the good things that happen on earth(excluding the bad) something else might think that this place is better. But countering my point again, I do think Equestria is a much better place. And I would live there in a heartbeat. let me know what you thought about this. Please no mean comments( if there are any anyways) and again, please no "it' just a show" And if you could or could try to, how would you change Equestria for the better. Also again, would you go there if given the choice.
  20. I am only just finishing up season 2 but every season finale has ended in the protagonist underestimating the power of friendship or love and than getting defeated practically handing them the victory. Now it' not that annoying but it's just really boring, I'm not sure if they will switch it up but I sure do hope so. Also was the S2 ending not the most stereotypical ending ever?
  21. Is it really so hard for some of you people, to enjoy a show for colorful ponies, without throwing a hissy fit and scream "RUINED FOREVER"? Can't you be more respectful towards the writers, without throwing them all under the bus and spitting on the work they put into it, which YOU have never took part in? No? Well, maybe i expect too much of this fandom then. Today was another one of those moments where i have to ask myself "Is it really too much to ask to have a civil discussion?" Apparently it is, because Spike is not in the upcoming episodes and this is apparently worse then the holocaust. Some advice: grow a hecking spine, you're not 4 years old.
  22. As you all know, Spike will take on the form of a Pufferfish in the upcoming My Little Pony movie. I'm just disappointed that he doesn't become a Merdragon. Spike, on the other hand, is less enthusiastic. BTW, be careful with that last line, Spike. Hasbro might consider turning you into one should My Little Pony get its own Transformers Spin-off series.
  23. MY REVIEW: I know that everyone loves this episode, but I'm sorry: I honestly despised it. My main problem is that everyone besides the Mane 7 is a complete asshole. The other ponies don't just act a little jerky, they just flat-out insult, berate and abuse the Mane 6. Seriously, a group of ponies openly attack Fluttershy, but these ponies don't deserve my sympathy. Why? Because they don't have it. There's no personality in them besides "act rude towards Mane 6". They don't even show minor characters act like this and show a character development from kind to arguing, they're all brand new background ponies. Another problem is a huge consistency error. In the episode the Mane 6 publish their Friendship Journal, but at first everyone doesn't care about the lessons but rather about every pony treating the Mane 6 like celebrities, but then noticing flaws and attacking the Mane 6. Here's my plot-hole: The Mane 6 have been celebrities since the 2nd episode of the series! They've defeated tons of monsters and villains, helped Princess Celestia and several other ponies. They are virtually politicians but with more normal lives. If Equestria was the USA then the Mane 6 would be the Cabinet Members of the Twilight Administration. In this episode, they act like the Mane 6 were invisible until the book was published. Not just ponies from faraway places, but NORMAL EVERYDAY Ponyville citizens act like they've never met any of them. There are a few things that I enjoyed, like the song they played near the end, the few little pokes at the Brony community, and the message, to be fair is very well-thought out. But the message is also a double-edge sword. While it is a good message about not letting fads or popularity get in the way of your life and friendships, but this could have been made much more enjoyable and funny, but instead the main point of the episode is how unlikeable everyone else acts. they don't even learn their lesson! The episode just ends with all of Ponyville just arguing over how "weak and pathetic" the Mane 6 are. Dear writers: Where is the goddamn resolution? Nowhere, you just forgot. I personally hated this episode, it was incredibly mean-spirited and disgustingly cruel towards the Mane 6. All the other ponies in this episode can go burn in Hell, utter pricks. [Sorry if this review was ridiculously swear-filled and angry, I just had to get my anger out]
  24. Hey, you. Yes, you. Do you enjoy losing? No? Well, if it's your fault, fix the problem. But what if it's not, I hear you cry. Simple solution: Leave and rant about it somewhere else. -- So I was playing CB:RO (CS:GO but for roblox because I'm too cheap to own CS:GO) and as usual I'm really, really bad. Not checking for enemies, not pulling my knife out to run, etc. So I'm in a match and I die after killing some enemies, but there's one left, and one teammate left. The teammate is running around aimlessly while the enemy is camping. That means that the round will last as long as possible and the camper will, at the last second, decide to go see where the terrorist is, and find him, and kill him. Meanwhile, the rest of my team (Terrorists) is screaming at the screen to 'GET THE DAMN BOMB DOWN' but to no avail. As predicted, the camper got suspicious, found the enemy and killed him. I left shortly thereafter. -- I'll probably rage a bit more when I lose more matches that were probably my fault but don't want to admit it.
  25. FanOfManyShows


    I believe you if you say "It's for fun" Or; "I am not trying to make a serious theory here." But if you make a theory that has more assumptions than presented evidence, in order to prove it's actually true then it will anger me. Sure making these assumptions are fun to do, you can apply head canons to your fan theory, but you need hard evidence aside from just head canons or assumptions. Let's look at the ever ridiculous "flat earth" theory, if you believe in this, I will most likely offend you. The amount of assumptions made for this theory to work, are so numerous, all evidence for it, is miniscule, from what I've heard anyways. If you can provide one, small, solid, piece of evidence for this, and not something most definitely assumed to be evidence, I may start to understand your reasoning for this. But for now, this theory only serves to prove my point. "Aliens are real" is another one, it's fun to imagine that aliens exist out there, but to say they built the pyramids, replaced government officials, and constantly saying. "That's what they want you to think." is ridiculous. You can repeat the previous saying to all this, but to be honest, most videos you use as proof are most likely faked by some bored guy on the internet anyways, can you find out perspectives of it? then maybe I'll believe you, by a small amount. There's a likelihood that it was some other event that's yet to be explained by science, and wasn't really aliens, or some space debris coming close to earth. We laugh at you alien believers for a reason, all of your proof is either a video glitch, space rocks, or faked for fun. Theorizing is fine to do, you can continue doing it even if you fall into these positions that I hate and the others I didn't list, don't stop just because one person on the internet hates you. But be careful, if you have more assumptions than evidence, you're thinking can be flawed by it, it's important to think logically instead of looking for some astronomical reason or cause, you were probably on drugs when you were abducted and forgot. You're probably not on a mountain high enough to notice the horizons curve. Aliens could exist, but they didn't visit earth, if they did, the government would've stopped searching for them. If the earth was flat, why does the government fake it's a sphere? It wouldn't even cause mass panic to say it was flat, why do maps vary so much in design if the earth is flat? Ask yourself questions about your own assumptions, wonder if someone's proof to your theory being wrong might be true, don't be upset if your theory is wrong, just means the world is actually simpler than you want it to be. The world doesn't have to be complex to be amazing, there doesn't have to be an illuminati for you to be tricked by the media, there doesn't have to be an alien as president to have a corrupt government, there doesn't have to be a flat earth to continue living normally. The world is simple, yet amazing as it is, you can theorize for fun, just don't assume what you theorize is true. Anyways, that was my rant. Make your comment on other theories or whatever. And honestly if you do have solid proof for the two theories mentioned here, I'd love to see it. as long as you are certain it is not faked.