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Found 20 results

  1. My lovely, my manly My heart pounds so gladly For you, my wondrous knight I lust for you all night If only t'were today but not another day My lover, my precious You've been quite chivalrous Am I justified such From a man I love much you've taught me love once more couldn't be gladder for My dear, my loveliest do you fancy me best I ponder that your mate is me not, do I rate better than I believe or should my nerves reprieve My other half, my love I must be such a dove in your eyes at the least in mine eyes you're a feast I quite frankly love you more than you could have knew He says it's good... But I'm not sure if it's because he's just being nice or it's actually good... -_-
  2. Yeah I know. Not a very professional topic title. However I'm asking this because I'm feeling generally sad right now... And noticed something. I repeat the same thing every single time I go into this state. It's almost natural. When I get into this state of sadness or regret or anything I do the same thing every time. One thing being listening to this song over and over again. Don't ask me why. Also I tend to drink a lot water. I don't know why but when I feel this way I just sit here, listening to that song and drinking absurd amounts of water. So I'm curious. Do you follow a routine like I do when I go into this saddened state or are you fairly unpredictable? Also you don't have to tell but what do you do in a state such as this?
  3. Well after recently watching one of the best TV episodes in all of television, I really feel positive. I feel like expressing that positivity into what I see for 2019. The potential for maybe something good to happen to me for once. Maybe it will be the best year of my entire life. Although I'll be the first to admit, the opposite may once again be true, and if it were bad enough it could be my last year of life (You know what I'm implying here), I'm really looking forward to a year in and of itself for the first time, quite literally ever. I know this is about 3 weeks late, but I'll dive into it here. Why exactly do I feel cautiously optimistic about 2019? Well here are a couple of reasons. ~What's coming out in 2019?~ There are some AMAZING things coming out this year. Among them being Toy Story 4, Borderlands 3, Hazbin Hotel, and Long Gone Gulch. Toy Story 4 seems, so far, to be on its way to being a phenomenal ending place for the series (Here's the summary that says so). I really feel the hype on this one. As for Borderlands 3, I'm REALLY excited. It's another Borderlands game, what do I have to say here? As for Hazbin Hotel, it's been shaping up to be among my favorite adult animated shows of all time (I DOUBT it will beat out Rick and Morty and the older seasons of the Simpsons, but I think it will be up there). But nonetheless, definitely loving the dark creativity. And for Long Gone Gulch, the character concepts and the blending of genres are both QUITE intriguing to me. I see it being perhaps among the best of all time with the potential shown by Rawhide's character. I'm sure there's more to be excited about, but these are the main things. Like yes, the Bowser's Inside STory remake is a thing, and yes so are things like Infinity Train. But these are the things that REALLY make me feel like there's hope. Maybe a Chance at Love? <3 I think it's ACTUALLY possible I'll find him. You now, the one. I know it's been a struggle in that department with you know the fact I as of now have a whopping 3 ex-boyfriends at the age of 21, but I've began to become hopeful in recent times I might find the fourth and maybe they'll revise that saying to "the fourth is the charm." But I have hope for a three reasons. Firstly, I have made my own blog post citing what I want in that department, and I'll link it right here. Secondly, over those 3 failed relationships, I gained a better understanding of how to make them work, or at least I'm led to believe so. And last, but not least, the potential move may help out a LOT here. If I moved in with my brother I'd be moving into the second largest city in the state and the seventh largest city in the country (San Antonio, Texas). By my math (and admittedly a few assumptions), that leaves me in that city alone... Just about 10,000 possibilities. Yes, 10 THOUSAND (for a male looking for a relationship with another of the same sex, that's an awful lot of possibilities). At least 1 ought to be compatible? Of course this is all me trying to be positive. The realism of this is still... a bit shaky at the very best.
  4. Do you find yourself overreacting or worrying too much about everything or small things? I can sometimes be a prime example of this- as I tend to over-think things and I worry a lot about getting sick.
  5. Well, once again I find myself copying somebody else's idea for a blog post. Seriously what is wrong with me? Well, I'll tell you what's wrong with me, from the top. I was born out of a high risk pregnancy. My mother had a congenital defect in one of her heart valves, and it nearly caused both of us to die, from what I heard. That's why I was born in a Seattle hospital. Both of my siblings were born in Renton, Washington, because they were far more normal. I hear that I was also born a couple of weeks premature. I was apparently initially a relatively normal child. I hear that I was very interested with helping my dad out with stuff. Now I have a hard time believing this, considering the cynical, useless piece of human waste I have become. Seriously, what do I even do for anyone anymore? Sure I occasionally help other people, but most of the time my anxiety and my lack of empathy get in the way. Or of course my pre-occupation with video games and the like. I was initially considered to be mentally retarded, because I literally never spoke. I initially thought I didn't get into kindergarten because I couldn't tie my own shoes, but this reason makes more sense. I'll admit, they were initially not too far from wrong. My intelligence didn't really blossom until around 4th grade or so. All I had to say for myself until that point was being the first kid done with their multiplication charts... But also I was the only kid to wet myself in the middle of class because I was scared of my uncomfortable surroundings. Also, I was in special education classes, and my reading level was WAY below average. To the point where I was in a kindergarten class for part of the day. Dang I used to be an idiot. In a way I still kind of am... I finally learned how to learn how to tie my own shoes at the age of 10 and I finally somehow stopped wetting myself around the age of 14... I also finally learned to double-knot around the age of 14 also, but even then I was bullied for single-knotting more than enough by that time to realize I was years behind the curve... My handwriting was abysmal to the point of people being unable to read it... I worked on it for years and it's still yet to get past the neatness of your average fifth grader... Then I gave up on that, because I asked myself this question: What's the use in trying? I can't write like a normal person, so why should I make the attempt to? Seriously, it's a complete waste of time. Now as an adult, I deal with nearly constant emotional problems. I have silent anxiety attacks (yes, they do exist) at least once every other day, I spend most of my days hiding my depression from myself and everyone else, and I try to tame my, what I consider, manic outbursts. My dad and my grandma used to say I bounced off the wall as a kid sometimes it was so bad. I also had issues with anger that I tried to hide (but failed to a degree), and my anxiety about relationships of the sexual and romantic varieties. Seriously, it's bad. I'm not going into depth HOW bad, but let's just say that it's made me think I'm a disgusting creep for reasons that I can't really discuss in depth because it may break forum rules. I also deal with the constant issue of being disappointed with what I see in the mirror everyday. Between the eyebrows marred by my anxiety, my uncomfortable and emasculating facial hair that I frequently forget to shave for days on end, all of my body hair, this bulging thing coming through my neck... Now I realized that my legs aren't even. Gosh dang it I'm an ugly mess. Now that I've worried about my anxiety and depression, I've become aware that my problems may be attributed to Asperger's Syndrome and potentially Cyclothymia and even possibly ADD. Combine that with Gender Dysphoria and you get a freak with no life and little purpose other than to maybe develop a tabletop game, that may not even ever come out if things go wrong. I feel like there's more to add here, but I'm just not able to think of it right now... I got too wound up seeing a guy play K Rool like a boss in a YouTube video about how stupid he is in Smash Ultimate, and too occupied thinking about how worthless I've been. Luckily I'm not thinking about suicide anymore, but I'm still tormented by thoughts about me being a waste. Also I can't count, because I thought this was the fifth "Cry for Help" when it was only the fourth. Seriously, why?
  6. Is there anyone out there with mental health issues? I mean more like anxiety, depression etc... it doesn't just have to be autism, but I won't disregard anyone for posting about this either. I just don't want to make this thread a repeat of the autistic thread. Also, if there's already a thread about this, feel free to redirect me there. ^^ As for myself... aside from my autism, I have very severe anxiety. It's often so bad that it disables me from doing most things. A lot of medical pros tell me it's due to my anxiety, which is a little stupid. They don't really understand how hard it is or how bad it can get. I've also self-harmed before. I've been clean for several months now, and I'm very proud of myself for this!
  7. Mind giving me some feedback on this? I've been thinking about putting it to music. [PLEASE DO NOT COPY] The Girl 1. Once was a girl 2. With a bright personality. 3. She never meant to hurt 4. And despised brutality. 5. She was eager to help 6. And would ask to play with one other. 7. But when she fell, 8. The girl wasn't held by another. 9. Though her intention was good, 10. She came off as clumsy. 11. She never understood 12. What the problem might be. 13. As the girl got older, 14. Her conflict only grew. 15. "You're broken." They told her. 16. "The world's better off without you." 17. At the age of twelve, 18. Her communications were limited. 19. She'd talk to herself 20. And her nature grew timid. 21. All through middle school, 22. She was taught by a screen. 23. She was seen as a fool 24. The few times she had company. 25. When spending was at minimum 26. And her situation became fruitless, 27. She was thrown to the system 28. In hopes of cleaning her mess. 29. So now at age fourteen, 30. She was expected of more. 31. She knew nothing of scene 32. Or about this 'common core'. 33. No one would talk to her 34. Or stand within half a mile. 35. Though treated like an intruder, 36. She still wore her usual smile. 37. Like a broken record, 38. She'd sing without anyone to admire. 39. "I don't know where to go 40. Or who to be. 41. I wish someone 42. Or anyone would help me. 43. I feel empty inside.” 44. She would plea. 45. “No place to go hide. 46. This world has grown cold. 47. It's suffocating me." 48. She longed to break the mold 49. And needed to break free. 50. Day in and day out, 51. Her fate seemed evident. 52. She was cursed to roam about 53. Without anyone to her feeling significant. 54. She began to build a fortress 55. Out of fear for the demons she faced. 56. Depression became her mistress. 57. She pondered as she across the floor paced, 58. “This is all?” 59. Surely her life weighed more than this. 60. But the truth finally answered her call 61. When another girl offered a hand when she tripped. 62. Along with it, 63. This girl beamed a bright smile. 64. Taken back a bit, 65. She returned the grin with a hint of denial. 66. Little did they know, 67. These two would be inseparable. 68. Some say their friendship is just for show 69. It seems strange for a friendship to be so immeasurable. 70. The girl made more friends 71. Along the way. 72. Not to belittle those relations, 73. But the smiley girl mattered more than she could say. 74. She had replaced her prior feelings 75. She thought she so well knew 76. With a newfound joy. 77. She felt so at ease around these few. 78. Her previous darkness was but her demon’s lost ploy. 79. Instead of murmuring 80. With words of depression, 81. Her voice is now elevating 82. And singing proudly her tale of revelation. 83. “No longer, 84. I won't be held down. 85. Or defined by another.” 86. She sang whether it rained or wind blew. 87. “I'm tired of crying 88. In a corner somewhere. 89. I'd rather be out smiling 90. With people who care. 91. These hard hearted people 92. Can yell all they want. 93. That doesn't mean it gives me a cripple 94. Or I care about their thought.” 95. This whole life of her’s, 96. She didn’t know why she had so much trouble. 97. But after telling her of these disorders, 98. At least she could to lessen the struggle. 99. “Yeah I'm broken. 100. So what? 101. It's my problem. 102. Your point was? 103. If my flaws annoy you that much, 104. Why don't you go look in the mirror for once. 105. There's not one definition of perfect. 106. There's not one word for me. 107. I'd rather be a clipped bird 108. And continue to sing. 109. Than be a beautiful butterfly 110. That'll be forgotten in a week. 111. It won't matter what I wore 112. 10 years from now. 113. But I'll stay torn 114. If I blindly wander around. 115. With no opinion of myself 116. Besides the lies you've told my head? 117. As if I'd leave my feelings on a shelf 118. And take your word instead. 119. Sorry little miss. 120. Guess I'm not as weak as you thought. 121. You've shown me my feelings don’t deserve a dismiss 122. And why you shouldn't tease and cause distraught.” 123. These lessons she’s learned 124. Will give her strength every day. 125. She’s met people who’ll be concerned 126. And pick her up when she feels dismay. 127. It’s now been a year 128. Since the girl was brought into this environment. 129. She’s matured greatly here 130. Despite her rough settlement. 131. Without these few youth 132. She’s met in this place, 133. She may have stayed aloof 134. With a fake smile upon her face. 135. As time has passed, 136. The world continues to spin. 137. Just as hurtful comments do not last 138. Against a sincere and joyful grin. 139. Though the girl still faces daily problems, 140. It’s much easier to deal. 141. She will achieve excellence 142. If these people continue to help in ordeal. 143. The story doesn’t end right away 144. For it has only just begun. 145. Even to this day, 146. This girl still sings of past transgression. 147. She’s helped many without personally knowing them 148. With her tale of victory. 149. But she cannot irradiate the problem. 150. Her actions will not be enough only. 151. It will take the everyday person 152. To change this society. 153. Not with large scale projects to immerse in. 154. But with average people like you and me.
  8. Anxiety is a cruel beast. It makes us a feel a multitude of things, like worry, stress, fear, and generally it makes us feel really, really bad. It's not good. I suffer from pretty severe anxiety, as it is in the 'crippling' category. I take a medicine for it that only seems to work at times, but in times like last night, the medicine had no effect. So I want to bring up the discussion, do you suffer from anxiety too? If so, how bad is it? How do you cope? Also for the record I am diagnosed with GAD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
  9. Please, don't be afraid to show yourself to other pony else Here's another video of MLP In Real Life
  10. Some of us many experience very trouble anxiety problems. These can be as simple as a little bit of uneasiness or straight up terror or paranoia. It comes in all kinds! For those that experience anxiety like me, what methods do you use to try and reduce this anxiety? Me, I have a few different ideas for when this happens. I will play a video game that I love, I may go walking and hang out with my brother, I may listen to music or maybe even just have a nice snack or meal while watching videos. If it gets very very bad I may take a small medication to help ease my mind and keep my mellow for a few hours, it can work wonders when it is all going crazy. Another big help for me, is talking with my lovely friends on the forums. You all are awesome. What are some of your methods to help with your anxiety problems?
  11. OK, so we all know Twilight Sparkle can go a little... Crazy, sometimes. And I've seen multiple posts about Twilight Sparkle that have "diagnosed" her with several disorders; I've read many articles that are surprisingly well-put-together. The crazy thing is, I've read people who argue the cases of everything from OCD to Aspergers to Schizophrenia. And while there are good arguments, it just surprises me that these (less common) disorders have been associated with her, when there is a much more common diagnosis that jumped out at me right away. About 6.8 million american adults are diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It's twice as common in women then it is in men. I've lived with it my entire life; and the moment I saw Twilight Sparkle, the symptoms jumped out at me. Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is characterized by excessive worry about everyday things. And it's not just that; symptoms include pretty much anything you can connect with being nervous or afraid. From trouble falling asleep to muscle aches and pains (from being so tense all the time), it can be a doozy. Whether or not she experiences some more personal symptoms (such as nausea or headaches) we don't know; but she does exhibit at least these three symptoms; *Difficulty sleeping (Like in "It's about time", "Bridle Gossip", "Winter Wrap-Up", and "Lesson Zero") *Expecting the worst (The test in"The Crystal Empire", her deadline in "Lesson Zero", assuming her friends will hate her in "Boast Busters" and both the schedule and the warning in "It's about Time") *Irritability (Even though Twilight is sometimes cynical and often sarcastic, she still can be grumpy or snappish at innapropriate times; if people invalidate her fears, for instance). And, of course, Twilight has a tendency to worry more then is necessary, which causes trouble for her. She's had more then one episode dedicated to it, "Lesson Zero" and "It's About Time" being the two ones I know of (though I've just started season three today). She's always afraid that if she doesn't do PERFECTLY, she'll fail, and her life will be over. She worries constantly about the future and tries too hard to control it (though as we learned at the end of "It's about time", she now realizes she has a problem). Her mind goes to crazy places; she drives herself insane thinking about every possible "what if". And her ideas may seem kind of delusional; but with GAD, your mind leaps from "missed deadline" to "life ending" pretty quickly. And if nobody else will help you to calm down, panic gets out of control really fast. As for the fact that she didn't make friends before living in Ponyville; it seems to me like the problem wasn't that she COULDN'T make friends, it was that she didn't WANT to. When she was a young filly, she had a goal to achieve; master magic. She was (and is) afraid that if she wasn't the "best", she would be an utter failure. There was no in-between. It's really one of the key personality traits that LEADS to somebody having GAD; putting pressure on yourself to perform, and then worrying that you won't. Because of this lack of social interactions with ponies her age, she now has a tendency to be a little socially awkard (being afraid that people are secretly judging you probably doesn't help). One could also argue that she DID have friends; Cadence and Shining Armor. Because she had an EXCUSE to have a friendship with them, and was able to label it as something different, she didn't have to feel guilty that she wasn't studying and in her mind it was ok. It probably helped that they were older. I may not be a psychiatrist, but speaking from experience, Twilight Sparkle is, in essence, the poster child for GAD. Her personality fits the bill, she exhibits the symptoms. And most of all, she exhibits this consistently through the entire series. It isn't just one or two episodes that have an example; she's always shown to be hyper-organized and worrying. It's just how she comes, and she manages its ups and downs with everything else. All-in-all, it makes me really happy to see her with this "mental illness". It's something that a LOT of people deal with and I'm just glad that it seems to finally be getting the accurate, relatable portrayal it deserves. So, what do you guys think? Do you like my analysis, or have I got her pegged all wrong? Do you have a differing opinion you'd like to offer? I'd love to hear from other people; but mostly, I am just happy to see my opinion released onto the internet (where it will likely never see the light of day! Yay!). Thank you for reading!
  12. Before I start with this entry, I hope you have been acquainted with the first part of my "coping with anxiety" series. In my first blog, I talked about writing down your fears on a piece of paper or on your laptop's notepad and reflecting on them. So many people like me face anxiety every day, and I began this blog series to help fellow bronies cope with being scared about many different, important matters in their lives. Now I move forward to the second piece of advice I have: Talking about your problems. First off, it's easy to keep your problems to yourself, whether about work, love, or even family. Once again, I'll give you some examples from my life. The first spoiler is related to work. The second spoiler is related to friendship/love. Fear is often brought about by many different conditions. One of the most common I've felt and heard is the assumption that I'm the only one facing this problem and that people, especially my friends, think that I'm stupid or emotionally weak if I get anxious about the littlest things. In reality, a lot more people are anxious about these "little things" because we find them so important. That's where your true friends come in. True friends will really come around and understand your plight. They're people who you can talk freely to about the things you are most worried about. They try their best not to place their prejudices and negativity against your issue and instead empathize with what you're facing. I'm very blessed to have my share of friends who I can talk to about my issues, many of which are on MLPF. It was my friends and family who helped me speak calmly to my supervisor about the mistake I made. We went over the protocol again and made sure I got it right the next time. We also managed to discuss more topics together and come up with more directions for my research project. As for women, it took a lot of searching, but I feel as though I finally found the right women friends for my life. I also had lots of people tell me about the best type of women in my life, and how I'm a very unique person. It helped me see why most women didn't fit well with me and how there's so many toxic people in my life I shouldn't even bother thinking about . Nevertheless, I still get anxious when I want to become closer friends with women, but I started realizing that the best women will love me for me. Hmmm... maybe one of them will turn out to grow with me the rest of my life . But that discussion's for another day and another time. One last thing: Don't bother trying to get advice from Yahoo Answers . I tried that a few times with girl issues, and my gosh was I more confused about what to do than ever. That's why I suggested talking to friends instead, or people who know how to give good advice . Even older people are a good choice because they have so many more life experiences. I had my piano teacher give me love advice after he noticed me sighing about life in general.
  13. Hi everyone. I just wanted to show you guys a way to help cope with your anxiety. On the first spoiler, I write down how I typically feel whenever I feel very anxious. Just an hour ago, I felt very anxious about many things that were happening to me in my life recently. I then decided... why not write down all that I was thinking... why I felt so nervous... You will see all that at the spoiler. ------------------------------------------------------------- Did you read the first spoiler? Now, take a look here. I got through all the struggles I talked about with the help of many people, and prayer. While I was writing down all the things I struggled with on my first spoiler, I was reminded of all the positive things my friends said. There was indeed hope within my anxiety. I know many of you don't see it where you are, but for any of you struggling with anxiety, you all will be in my thoughts and prayers. Find people to talk to about your problems. Don't be shy to say them. Perhaps they will be of much assistance. I openly admit that I still struggle with anxiety. It's not easy to just move on from anxiety with the snap of your fingers. I know how hard it is. I face anxiety every day. I guess it comes from what my supervisor said" You're a very self-conscious person!" . That reminded me of Fluttershy . For all you self-conscious people, it's good to be aware of what you're doing. But don't do it to the point you lose perspective of all the good things you are ! True friends will see your positive traits and lift you up for it! One last thing. Always try writing out your thoughts like I just did. It helps you get a feel on what you're thinking so that when you read it again after a few days or even hours, that you will realize that reality is much different from what your mind believed... I hope this helped in anyway possible for you anxious folks. I don't have much free time to post something like this, but like I said before. You all will be in my thoughts and prayers.
  14. Were you afraid of flu shots? When I was little, I used to dread going to the doctor because of them. One time when I was about to get one, I tried to run out of the building but my mom caught me at the front door. Tell me your story below.
  15. The lonely routine that was my life became unbearable. So unbearable, in fact, that I decided I had no choice but to run away. I suppose I'm typing this to vent a little; share my story with the world (for those who choose to read it, that is). I packed my things, and when my family wasn't looking, I escaped out our sliding glass back door and headed off into the night, holding my Twilight plushie close. I wore a jacket and a backpack filled with a few things I'd need if all went according to plan. I didn't have a plan B. That is to say, if plan A failed, I considered my only other option as running until the police found me. Not a good plan, but I didn't know what else to do. If you're concerned by this point, don't be. Plan A was successful. Plan A was finding a friend's house and asking if I could stay for a while. I'd thought about frantically rambling about how I couldn't go back; how no one could make me and I would just continue to run if the answer was no. But then I decided that would get me a call to the men in white coats (or something similar) and they would just think I was crazy. So I retained my sanity as I trekked into the night, amongst sidewalks and traffic. I got lost. If you're going to take a shortcut, make certain beforehand that it is actually a shortcut. Sometimes it's just better to backtrack. I eventually found it, though (to my great relief). When my friend's brother opened the door, he acted normally, as if he'd greeted anyone else. Even though it was like 10:00 at night. Long story short, my friend's mom was kind enough to feed me and let me stay for a while. I'm back now.
  16. When I was writing this lesson, I was hesitant about writing it because I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety. I didn't want to come across as not practicing what I preach, then I realized that I shouldn't cover up on what's really going on -pretending I don't have any problems- but, I should be real instead. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Topic: Don’t Worry Philippians 4:6-7 · “6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” In Philippians 4:6, it says to not be anxious about anything. · Anxious means to be worried or eagerly wishing, (i.e. she anxiously waited to go to the bathroom.) Then it says what we can do to cope with anxiety. · “ .. by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God…” - You might be wondering what it means by praying and to petition, to pray is to simply tell God how you feel, to petition is to ask God to help you overcome your feelings of anxiety. Matthew 6: 25- 34 · “25Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” - In Matthew 6:26-34, it talks about how we don’t need to worry because if God has taken care of the birds, grass, and flowers’ needs, how much more will he take care of us. - Our Heavenly Father knows what we need, but we have to seek his kingdom and righteousness first and all your of needs will be taken care of. ♦ Twilight is the perfect example of what can happen when you worry constantly, for instance, in season 2, episode 20 (It’s about Time) and season 2, episode 3 (Lesson Zero), Twilight is worrying about late work and worrying about a disaster that is not coming, because of Twilight worrying, her appearance tend to get altered, (messy hair, bags under her eyes, etc.), and she also lack of sleep. In “It’s About Time” Twilight learns that she shouldn't worry about the future because every day has enough trouble of its own.
  17. That the worst is going to happen. The impossible becomes possible. Everyone is keeping a secret. Someone's planning to kill you. You'll die soon. Something's wrong with you. Getting a small knot on your head makes you have cancer. Hitting your head a little bit gives you a concussion. The smallest things become the biggest. Something the size of an ant can choke you. But seriously, having an anxiety disorder sucks. People never take you seriously. Ever.
  18. I have a form of social anxiety. And apparently, a lot of people have it. You may wonder what social anxiety is. Have you ever talked to someone and wondered what they thought of you? Have you ever felt neglected by a friend even though they didn't intend to do so? Have you ever felt too scared of telling your concerns to your friend with fears that they'll respond to backlash? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you've got some degree of social anxiety. I attended a healthcare club seminar about mental illness. It may have been a very illuminating seminar, but what happened afterwards was the epiphany. I was talking with a friend of mine about my problems with Jaimie (Girl from previous blog post). She told me that what I was going through was something that she could relate to. She too would often feel depressed whenever she felt someone didn't give back the same love we give to them. She was also angry whenever she felt she was being treated unfairly, or frightened whenever she felt a friend wouldn't care about what her concerns with their friendship. It comforted me. All this time, I was angry at Jaimie because I thought that she had neglected me. I thought she threw me to the sides when we didn't talk as much. I thought she had seen me as awkward to be with, so she didn't want anything to do with me. When my friend helped me see that I went through social anxiety, I realized that the problem was me. I had overreacted based on my perception of reality which was untrue. I had swayed away from what was reality in favour of my past embarrassments with women. My social anxiety had originated from my past. I had many failed encounters with people, both men and women. I was often scoffed, ridiculed, and shamed just because people called me "retarded". They said all that just because I said I had "autism". I thought Jaimie had done the same to me because she was ignoring me and not talking to me as much. I thought she had thrown me aside like the girls from my past. Boy was I wrong. When I talked to her about how I felt, things couldn't be any farther from the truth. She apologized to me if she insinuated that she didn't want to be friends in any way. She loved being with me. She valued our friendship. I could only stand there speechless before I apologized back. It was one of the first times I was so happy to be wrong about a person. After that, we just kept chatting like old times. I didn't even notice that I was going to be late for class. She had to remind me about that. My prayer now? That I can continue to grow not only with her, but also with my other friends. That I can also overcome my anxieties and realize the truth when it's been laid bare in front of me.
  19. Hey, I am really nervous that this could be the beginning of the end for MLP FIM I always heard that the cutie mark crusaders would never get their cutie marks because the show was meant to be made so that you could watch any random episode without having to watch another episode to understand what was going on. Like they never do anything too drastic in the episodes so there aren't any major changes so you don't have to have any previous knowledge to watch it. Well, making Twilight an ailcorn is a prity drastic thing. I don't see how they are going to do this. Haven't they already sold loads of Twilight Sparkle toys that she isn't an alicorn in? What happens then? I'm just afraid that this could be the start of hasbro starting to end the series, and I don't want that to happen at all. I just really need someone to say that I'm not right about this so I can stop worrying. So if you could, can you leave a comment with your opinion about the matter. I know I'm probably over reacting, but when a show like this means so much to you, it becomes more than a show to you. My Little Pony has gotten me through some hard times, every time I watch it, even if I'm in the worst mood you could possibly be in, it always makes me feel so happy. So if MLP were to go away, I don't know what I would do. Watching this show is more than just watching a show, it's being a brony, it's being a part of something, and that something is very important to me. Thanks, MLP Brony
  20. There's a thin line that runs between self-improvement and trying to make yourself someone that you are not. I often wonder which side of that line I am on. Right now is one of those times. Since I've got insomnia at the moment, along with some...unpleasantness that I mentioned in my status, I find myself unable to sleep. Since I've had these thoughts running in my head, I thought there's no better time than now to put them out there. As many here know, I've made some serious perceptive shifts as of late, and as such I am making some serious life changes. I'm working out and am on a very strict diet so that I can get into rugby and diving-playing shape ASAP. I'm also forcing myself into social situations a bit more. Plus I am pledging myself to be more daring (I'm going to try skydiving this summer. A bit extreme, yes, but go hard or go home right?). I want to end up pretty much a whole new person when all is said and done. At the same time, when I look in the mirror, I get a feeling like something isn't right. Like I might be doing this for the wrong reasons. I often have fantasies about being that kind of guy who can take on anything. The guy who is a sports whiz, the social butterfly, the suave ladies man, etc. Basically the guy who can take whatever the world throws at him and comes out the other side smelling like Old Spice. The winner in any situation you put them in. Calm, cool, collective, and sure of themselves and the world around them. That's in contrast to the out of shape, socially anxious guy whose never had a steady girlfriend (much less even a kiss) who is prone to anxiety about everyday life, and when put into a situation is usually guaranteed to fuck up at least one thing. A person I'm ashamed to be. I'm a Fluttershy, but I desperately want to be a Rainbow Dash. But it feels wrong when I try to be a Rainbow Dash. Is that feeling I get in the mirror the last bits of my old self trying to drag me back down, or is it my true self trying to tell me something is wrong? On another note, I'm beginning to drift away from my old IRL friends from high school. I feel like they are just dragging me down and are incompatible with the kind of person I'm trying to become. A new me calls for new acquaintances, like the kind of people I'm finding in college. A fresh start needs fresh faces. Am I trying to improve myself, or am I just trying to be somebody I'm not? Because I hate who I am sometimes.