Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'comedy'.



More search options

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Categories

  • Navigating and Using MLP Forums
  • Site Problems & Questions
    • Subscriptions & Donations
  • Moderation and Rules
  • Roleplay World
    • Equestrian Empire
    • Everfree Empire

Categories

  • Approved Characters
    • Approved Cast Characters

Categories

  • Regular Banner Submissions
  • Contest Banner Submissions

Categories

  • Fanfiction Requests
  • Pony Fanfiction
  • Non Pony Fic Recordings

Categories

  • Canon Characters
  • Original Characters

Calendars

  • Pony World Cup
  • Forum Events
  • Episodes
  • Making Christmas Merrier
  • Golden Oaks Library Readings
  • BronyCon

Blogs

There are no results to display.

There are no results to display.

Forums

  • My Little Pony
    • Welcome Plaza
    • FiM Show Discussion
    • Sugarcube Corner
    • Equestria Girls
    • My Little Pony: The Movie
    • Classic Generations
    • Pony Life
  • Events
    • Forum Events
    • Making Christmas Merrier
    • Golden Oaks Library
  • Roleplay World
    • Everfree Planning, OOC & Discussion
    • Everfree Roleplays
    • The Archives
  • Octavia's Hall
    • Commissions
    • Requestria
    • Octavia’s University of the Arts
    • Canterlot Gallery
  • Beyond Equestria
    • General Discussion
    • Media Discussion
    • Forum Games
    • Ask a Pony
    • Forum Lounge
  • Canterlot
    • Throne Room
    • Feedback
    • Site Questions
    • Support
  • Poniverse
    • Canterlot Avenue
    • Equestria.tv
    • Pony.fm
    • PoniArcade
    • Ponyville Live!
    • Gallery of Goodwill
  • Conventions

Product Groups

  • Commissions
    • Valtasar's Digital Art Commissions
    • Midnight's Commission Shop
    • Ariida-chi's Commissions
    • Ambergerr's Art Shop
    • Ezzy-Arts
    • Deerie's Commissions
    • Ody's Commissions
    • Moony Commission Shop
    • SonicPegasus Commissions
    • Berry-Bliss Commissions Store
    • Unicornia Workshop
    • Usager
    • PoisonClaw's Traditional Commissions
    • Lucha
    • Nihi The Brony's Commission shop
  • Hosting
  • Commissions Closed

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

Joined

  • Start

    End


Group


Website URL


Discord Username


Discord Server


Skype


Twitter


Fimfiction


deviantART


YouTube


YouTube


YouTube


Steam ID


Location


Personal Motto


Interests


Role


How did you find us?


Best Pony


Best Princess


Best Mane Character


Best CMC


Best Secondary/Recurring Character


Best Episode


Best Song


Best Season


Hearth's Warming Helper


Fandoms Involved In

Found 175 results

  1. The topic of this thread is all in the title. I searched Saturday Night Live, and was surprised to know, there wasn't an SNL thread. So, I agree that its glory will stay in the 90's. But I still find it a creative and hilarious show ro this day!!! So, post you're thoughts on SNL and if you think its gotten better/worse. Cause' we're live from New York, it's SATURDAY NIGHT LIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!!!! XD
  2. Hey everyone, in this thread I want anypony who can to post all their jokes related to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It can be any length and about any character, format, be it lame, or just silly, good fun... Whatever works! Okay, I'll tell mine: Twilight has just gotten done with a cram-school like session in her library and decides to take a walk around Ponyville to find a friend to hang out with. She stops by Rarity's boutique, Fluttershy's creature-packed home, Pinkie Pie's candy-centric workplace/apartment, and the rest of the gang's usual hanging spots. However, her search goes in-vain until she ventures onto Apple family premises. She looks around, hoping to spot Applejack this time around, but then sees a sadistic Apple Bloom throwing a rock repeatedly against Applejack's favorite tree. On the ground, Twilight sees not to far from her Apple Bloom's Cutie mark crusaders cape and emblem on the drifty dirt beneath their hooves. Troubled, Twilight goes in closer to Apple Bloom, delivering her disgruntled "Hello," to an angry AppleBloom. Apple Bloom replies, "Oh, Hey Twilight--" BONK, the rock hits her on the head and she is disoriented for a brief moment. Twilight consoles her head for a bit, and then inevitably asks, "What's all this Apple Bloom? This is your cutie mark crusaders cape and badge, dirtied up on the ground. What happened?" Apple Bloom resentfully turns around and begins throwing her rock again, taking her rageout on the tree. With moderate success, she knocks another object onto her head to choke away the rest of her luck. "What's zit' to you, Twi--" she grunts, stomping the remnants of the torn drapery and then throwing them again. "Did something happen between you, SweetieBelle, and Scootaloo?" Twilight pressed on, squaring her jaw while once again sampling the cloth. "Yeah, maybe... Let's just kindly say that I am no longer "a-filly-ated" with the girls and their crusadin' jive." Twilight: *Blink*
  3. By: Windy Breeze and Co-author, Writer Rhyme. Note: This story is under hiatus in Fimfiction. That means, this story won't have chapters unless one is added in Fimfiction Chapter 1: Fleeting Breeze “It's not going to hurt if i just try, right?” Windy Breeze talked to her reflection in the mirror pool. She was told by a terrified Stormlight about Ponyville swarmed by a dozen of Pinkie Pies. She would laugh at the news if Pinkie was just a normal earth pony. She was very curious about how she could do that. After asking Spitfire permission to go back to Ponyville, she went out of the Wonderbolts Academy and went back to Ponyville. She went to the nearest house and knocked, revealing Holly Dash, who asked her why she was outside and asking that the 'Pinkie Storm' has died out. Windy gave a face of 'I dunno' mixed with an ignorant shrug. She asked where Pinkie is and Holly told her Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity took 'them' to the Town Hall. She politely thanked her by bowing her head. It turns out there are a lot of Pinkie's inside the Town Hall, watching their worst nightmare: Paint Drying. She had to admit she also hate watching pain drying, it was kinda boring, nothing to do except STARE at the paint. She had to hide herself behind the wall every time Rainbow would glance at her direction. If she was caught, she knew there will be a problem, so she decided to hide. She sighed in relief when the one Pinkie Pie in the building is the real one. Inside her thought, she knew this could be more worse than having a clone of you running around in town. Or maybe not. She followed the Main six into the Ever free, luckily avoiding every pack of Timberwolves she come across, she found herself snooping on the bearers of the elements of harmony inside a beautiful cave. In the middle of the cave is a pool of water. The Mirror Pool. The main six had left few seconds ago. She let her curiousity take over her, reaching out a hoof. She let out a sigh and decided to fight her anxiety. She quickly sank her hoof into the pool of water, expecting to reach out for something. She gasped when she felt something suddenly grab a hold of her hoof like a fish caught by a fishing hoof. She decided to pull out what's clutching her hoof. “Hey, ow, not too tight, please?” Standing infront of her was her. Windy's eyes widened in disbelief. There was her standing infront her. Windy Breeze, or she we call her Breeze let go of Windy's hoof, hissing in pain as she look at her hoof “Ouch, this is more painful than when I lost to Spitfire at hoof-wrestli-” Breeze stopped when she finally got Windy into her vision. The two stared in confusion, then Breeze decided to speak first “Am i looking at a invisible mirror?” She looked like her, she sounds like, and most importantly she knew Spitfire! Windy opened her mouth to speak, hesitant but managed to utter a few words as she felt her heart beat rapidly and faster than normal. “Are you real?” Breeze gasped in disbelief, her heart beginning to beat faster than normal. “Wh-What?” she took a step back, her eyes shrinking until it turned into a dot. Due to the amount of disbelief she got into her heart and mind, Windy's eyes rolled back into her skull and fainted. When she went back to the world of consciousness and friendship, the first she heard is her moan, then the second sound she heard is her moan, yet it didn't came from her mouth. ..... The 'Pinkie Storm' and the Mirror Pool went back into her mind. She quickly opened her eyes, making an eye contact with two pairs of cyan eyes. She quickly realized both of them fainted. “So this IS real?” She and Breeze muttered in unison. Before Breeze could say more to express her disbelief, Windy stood up. “I can't believe it worked!” she yelled enthusiastically, looking down at Breeze with a excitement “You might be a clone but you had life inside that magical body!” she grabbed a hold of Breeze and made her stood up, the latter very confused of her current situation “What should i call you? ” Windy pondered for a few seconds before giving her a name “Oh, how about Flitting Breeze!?” “Hmm, that sounds... perfect” Breeze, now named Flitting Breeze agreed “But can you tell me where am i and why you look like me?” “Forget about it, let's go back to Ponyville, Flit!” Before Flitting could protest, Windy grab a hold of her hoof and dashed into the Everfree Forest. “Hey, ow! I might not be Rarity but this is still considered ru-Ow!” Flitting was interrupted by a tree branch slapping her face. She was about to open her mouth when another branch hit her. She decided to be silent. She should atleast made plans for her newly born twin. Windy had just realized everyone in Ponyville had just recovered from the 'Pinkie Swarming' and will most likely react badly seeing two Windy Breeze's emerge from the Everfree Forest and the Main Six will come in and... No, she won't allow that to happen! Before she could say anything, Fleeting voiced her worries which disturbingly the same as hers “I don't think the town will greet us with open hooves if they saw two pegasi with the same color, mane, tail, eye, wing, and cutie mark coming out of the Everfree Forest” “I agree. Let's think of something that can help us not stood out of the 'crowd'” Flitting nodded. The two stood thinking until Flitting got an idea. “How about changing my manestyle and tell the ponies that I'm a long lost twin of yours?” “Good idea you got there, Flitting” Windy beamed, pointing at a nearby bush “just go behind the bush and I shall start 'changing' your mane” It was a terrible day for Ire Heaven. She would rather live under Nightmare Moon's reign than witnessing Ponyville being attacked by a horde of Pinkie's who had no idea what privacy is. She decided to go into the Everfree and punch something with her hooves. As she walk towards the said forest, she heard a pair of voices. Very.Similar.Voices. “It's done!” Ire heard a gasped from the same speaker “I loved it!” Ire rolled her eyes, muttering “First Pinkie being too many Pinkie, now Windy now has imaginary friend, what's more?” she approached where the source came from, from behind a bush. She hold the bush aside to glare.at.a.two.Windy's.bonding as if they didn't even seem to care they look the same. Ire's eyes twitched, turn tail and screamed in frustration.
  4. A silly little project I doing. This is my first serious effort at a story. it is sure to turn out interesting. I would love to hear comments on it. Currently 2 chapters are out. Even though this is based on Fallout Equestria, this won't be anywhere near as violent as the original. This story will always be T. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/292606/fallout-equestria-black-cat Break Point is a simple earth pony that wants a simple, easy, and safe, not dangerous in anyway whatsoever, life. Unfortunately, this is shattered when she accidentally causes the death of the son of Cosa Nostra, a powerful and dangerous crime lord that rules her town with an iron hoof. Now she must find a way to survive in the Equestrian Wasteland, a place that tears weak ponies like her to shreds. Little did she know that she would become the powerful and feared figure known as the Black Cat. A crossover between MLP, Fallout Equestria, and Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. Based on Kkat's Fallout Equestria. This is set 50 years before Littlepip started her adventures. Wonderful cover art by ShimmerKoi. Thanks to GreyGuardPony for prereading this.
  5. Hello. I have decided to try my hand at fanfiction again. It's been awhile. I thought it would be fun to do a MST3K fic again. Presenting Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater! Staring...The Doctor and Ditzy Doo! You can find it here. Today's story is The Moon's Wrath by Dolphy Blue Drake Synopsis: Small Dragons, Big Hearts: Unity is Power: S1E01—In a world where every pony is a dragon, every dragon is a pony, and all genders are reversed, even the most well-known stories of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic can turn out far differently. Join Nightfall Sheen and Wishful Legend—the counterparts to Twilight Sparkle and Spike—to find out just how much of a difference swapping genders and race really makes, even in the story that started it all. Chapter 32 is done. Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 If you have a fanfic recommendation, comments, or criticisms please leave a comment or PM. Please NO clop or fanfiction with extreme violence. I am not going to do those at all. I doing a more family friendly series and it is going to be relatively clean. Besides everyone else does them. I hope you enjoy it!
  6. A mysterious swan annoys Celestia to no end. A Fanfiction by: The Abyss Narrated by yours truly, complete with music and sound effects. I hope you enjoy!
  7. Story Description: When Trixie makes a lewd remark to Starlight Glimmer during their 'medal of honor' celebration, Starlight blasts the showmare into the next room in an effort to shut her up. Sadly, her efforts send not only Trixie to the next dimension but also Princess Luna. While Starlight is panicking back in Equestria, Trixie and Luna discover that they did not turn into humans upon passing through the mirror portal. Instead, they are now fillies. Saturdays suck. ===== This was a fun one to do, I must say. EDIT: I seem to have lost track of the 'embed' button for youtube videos here on these forums... where did it go?
  8. Along with RWBY there's another show from Rooster Teeth that I enjoy and felt deserved it's thread Camp Camp. Three kids, Max, Neil and Nikki, spent the summer vacation at a dysfunctional campsite called 'Camp Campbell' which is currently in the hands the camp counselors, the overly cheerful David and the less optimistic Gwen. - Source IMDB **The show does have a fair bit of cussing..if you're not the kind of person who enjoys that kind of stuff this isn't the show for you**
  9. DDLC is an American-made "anime" dating sim (where anon guy tries to romance cartoon girls), but it's also one of the better ones I've played. The writing is really funny and clever, somewhat MLP-like. In fact, even though there's only four girls, they remind me alot of the Mane Six. The game drags at first, but it gets pretty story heavy later on. Also, there are major spoilers floating around online so it's best to play it flying blind to get the full effect. Even if you're not into anime or dating sims, it's still pretty funny, downright hysterical at times. Also, if you're worried about inappropriate content, it's pretty PG-13. No sex/nudity, etc. You can actually download it for free but I'm not gonna post the link here cause reasons. Minor spoilers below:
  10. "Idiocracy" is a science fiction movie set in a commercialised world where most people have become very unintelligent to an amusing and catastrophic extent. It involves two or three people trying to survive in that kind of world and its dirty, broken society. Due to the future society's ridiculous behaviours, I really enjoyed this movie very much. What about you -- what do you think of that movie?
  11. What do you guys think about these creepy Friends fan theories circulating around internet? .. Btw, this is only for fun and discussion so please dont get pissed off. Let me know ur opinion..
  12. A game recently came out on steam called comedy night. I'm an inspiring comedian and also a brony. So I'm gonna be hosting a server dedicated to MLP based comedy. Server limit is 14 users so make sure to join fast. Game is pretty cheap so you all should be able to see this. I really want feedback on my sense of humour. So please do watch. It will be hosted at 6:00 PM (GMT) tomorrow on Tuesday 29th.
  13. This might sound a bit unusual but I've considered becoming a comedian in this fandom, to help better describe imagine a popular comedian such as Jim Gaffigan or will Ferrell, i'd come up with pony related jokes, and jokes relating to the fandom, not exactly equestria itself (such as if I was actually a pony in the MLP universe) but I'd make jokes and tell stories about relatable things that the fandom shares and relates to, just like how a traditional comedian would talk about relatable and normal things everyone does etc. I may need help and advice getting this together and do you think it's a good idea? Thanks a lot
  14. [OOC: https://mlpforums.com/topic/165293-chaos-reigns-oocplanningsearching/] (Since almost no one responded to the OOC thread I'll just start this and anyone who wishes to get involved can do so ) We open. In the Badlands outside of Equestria a land that has been thrown into eternal strife by Isfet. "Ugh bored ....." the chaos lords groan looking around the kingdom with apathy "Well we finally got rid of Throax dumb bug was getting in our way. Chrysalis is right he had no idea how to rule the changelings ah well he's gone now ha ha ha!" The mad gods surveyed the area around them "Hmm we can't tell ol Sunbutt about what we did here but with any luck we could convince her to side with us heck she knows we've got the girls wrapped around our claws perhaps with some encouragement the real conquest can begin Haha ha ha ha ha. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
  15. If there is one thing I want to do in my life, it's to become a comedian. The only problem is that I don't know where to start. I have many ideas for material and all that, but I just don't know where to start. Is there a place I can go to do a couple acts and test the waters? Should I try standing out on the street with a money bucket and tell jokes with an amp and a microphone? This is my problem. I know what I want to do for a career, but I don't know where to start. Making a LOT of money won't come overnight, I understand that, but where can I start on that path? I've done miniature comedy acts for some friends, but I'm looking for bigger audiences. I have the jokes and the routines, but not a place to do them at. How do I sign up for this stuff? I mean, don't think I'm in the comedian thing just for the money. I mean yes, thats one part of it, but its more than just that. I want to be able to make a living off of something I really enjoy doing.
  16. A new PInball Machine has just arrived at Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie, being her hyperactive self just had to have a go at it. What madness will ensue? What treasure will be found? More importantly, can Pinkie beat Sweetie Belle’s high score? https://www.fimfiction.net/story/363798/pinball-pinkie
  17. Twilight Sparkle has been very forgetful lately, wherever she goes she seems to leave something behind. Growing tired of having to retrieve them, she decides to cast a spell that will bring these items to her. But, the spell isn't quite what it seems and now Ponyville has four new residents. Unsure of how to return them to where they came from, the Mane 6 must teach these newcomers how to fit-in in Equestria. Takumi, Iketani, Kenji and Itsuki are just having a guys night out racing along the roads of Mount Akina, when suddenly a flash of light changes everything. Now they must learn how to live in this new world and form strong bonds along the way. Will they ever see their world again, or will they have to make Equestria their new home? Link to the story: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/361382/initial-d-first-equestria-stage
  18. Note: Hey guys this is an opinion just like the title says and I am using sarcasm on my opinion to entertain others. Warning this will trigger anyone who is within the idiotic masses of the gaming community. Sorry, that is how I roll! So, enjoy! Now then, on with the topic! Onto explaining why the gaming community is a joke! So, the reason is that we have people who think they are someone special when they get the game on launch date. Clearly they are not and making themselves look more of an idiotic sheep. Just wait for the game to be reviewed and do not get the freakin pre-order for gosh sake. Especially the DLC, which is the cancer towards gaming. Why, well is the idiotic masses that keep on getting games on launch date. Camping outside and just begging to get robbed. Even the young parents are the ultimate reason why franchises like Call of Duty sucks right now and is boring. Especially the Resident Evil series that went from being horror to action based shooter. From who, well the westerners that the developers listen too. Not the original consumers that like the classic horror/thrills that games like Dead Space and other good indie horror games have (Except the ones with jump scares they suck). The reason why I quit my hobby and gaming is a hobby, not a job. That Youtubers say it is, cause they make you think its hard work. Which it isn't, anyone can take Pewdiepies or Markipliers place and do just as fine as they do. Sorry I have an opinion about them. I had to get this off my chest and if you like those Youtubers, welp sorry. Thats how the cookie crumbles, more like the gaming community is and most of the Youtubers that promote from drama by flip flopping and giving misinformation. I have a channel and all there are is liked videos I have from certain Youtubers that have common sense. Unlike Angry Joe who said he is going to take the company Nintendo to court about Mario Kart and some other games. Yet I mention on the lies that people on Youtube talk about on gaming being dead and social media. Which it isn't and they are making things even more ignorant on gaming. So, maybe from me to you. I say that every gamer should buckle down and not get the game on launch date, even freaking pre-order it. For goodness sake, why waste more money on a game that you don't know that is not good. Let alone being half baked. Gamers today focus more on graphics and less on the function of the game itself. That has become a big thing in gaming and so has digital download and why is this acceptable by you ignorant gamers in the gaming freaking community? Do you guys recall the time when you go into the game store. Pick a game to own or rent. Pay the cashier and go home to enjoy it. We didn't have to put with nonsense suck as putting another 40 or more for add-ons/weapon packs. Then I have someone telling me that gaming is getting better with the VR headset which in my opinion is not necessary to buy. If you want to get it fine. Just don't go out there and wait in line for the new game that is coming out. Just wait for the reviews to come. If its good with the mechanics, there is no bugs/glitches , and looks then by all means rent or buy the game. Then if you play it and functions well. Then enjoy it. Yet still we have these nerds on Youtube in the comment section going. "Well I bought it first and I feel like I am not getting something. So I have to get on the internet and complain. *Mimics key board typing* MOM!MOM! This game isn't what it was suppose to be like they said MOM! IT BS! ITS BS!!" Ha ha ha ha. Are you freaking joking me! XD
  19. Ever since I was a kid, my parents would watch British shows on PBS. More often than not they would be shown on Saturday nights. Ever since then I've grown accustomed to watching these British Comedies myself. I've always liked such ones as: -Monty Python -Fawlty Towers -Keeping Up Appearances -Chef! -Vicar of Dibley -Mr. Bean -Black Adder -The Young Ones -Are You Being Served? etc. What are your favorite Britcoms?
  20. Tactics of Snowbound Unicorns Twilight’s got her nose stuck in a book. Sunset wants to go see the rest of their friends. As winter descends upon Canterlot, Sunset gets an idea. Things snowball from there. Historian’s Note: Set in the Wavelengths Timeline where the Sonic Rainboom never happened, Tactics of Snowbound Unicorns is a stand-alone tale that occurs about six weeks after the events in the Applications Trilogy. Cast: Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Moon Dancer, Minuette, Cheerilee, Coco Pommel & Coloratura Co-Starring: Raven & Philomena Stories set in the Wavelengths Timeline in chronological order: Origins Arc The Alchemy of Chemistry Bards of the Badlands (Coming Early Janury 2017) Grading on a Bell Curve How Not To Use Your Royal Prerogative (Coming Late January 2017) Applications Arc The Application of Unified Harmony Magics Princess Celestia: A Brief History The Cloudsdale Report Infatuations and Other Lies Arc Tactics of Snowbound Unicorns
  21. Has anyone ever seen or heard of CinemaSins? If so, great! If not, its a channel on YouTube that finds every fault, plot-hole, cliche, and mistake made in movies, each wrong-doing counting as a 'sin.' Me, and @Fractured, are offering to do our little parody of CinemaSins, in an Original Character format! We'll review a profile, find everything wrong, to sin the character accordingly. So, if you're looking for someone to tell you everything wrong with your OC, along with hopefully laughing as you read, then you've come to the right place! Just submit an OC profile, and we'll get right to it. We'll do our best to get back to you, as soon as we're done. Although, fair warning, we won't be going easy... So without further ado...Who wants their OC sinned?
  22. CLEARANCE: TIER ONE Enter Password: ************ ACCESS GRANTED Connecting to Network Connecting... Connecting... Connecting... CONNECTION ESTABLISHED New File Opened: preface.pfx Send To: Nanotrasen Corporate Headquarters Subject: Preface THIS MESSAGE IS FOR THE EYES OF THE NANOTRASEN EXECUTIVE BOARD AND OTHER TIER ONE EMPLOYEES UNAUTHORIZED VIEWERS MUST ADMIT THEMSELVES TO THE NEAREST SECURITY OFFICER FOR IMMEDIATE LOYALTY CHIP IMPLANTATION To whom it may concern, As per instruction by the Executive Board, I have begun efforts to record and transcribe the interactions of the Heads of Staff aboard Nanotrasen Space Station 13. No members of the crew are to be notified of this development, and all items referencing this have been heavily encrypted. Passkeys have been distributed to those who may need them via standard means. All transactions considered to be objectively important to the interests of the Executive Board shall be forwarded directly to them. I share the hope that the corporation will profit greatly from this endeavor. Sincerely, NAI-13 Nanotrasen Administrative Intelligence-13 Saving File As: preface.pfx Saving File... Saving File... Saving File... File Saved Disconnecting Console Shut Down. CONNECTION LOST Author's Note CLEARANCE: TIER ONE Enter Password: ************ ACCESS GRANTED Connecting to Network Connecting... Connecting... Connecting... CONNECTION ESTABLISHED New File Opened: staffmeeting1.pfx Send To: Nanotrasen Corporate Headquarters Subject: Staff Meeting One To whom it is concerned, The following is a transcript of the latest weekly meeting of the command staff aboard NSS-13. Relevant physical actions have been denoted, as well. For the purposes of preventing clutter, Captain Carnelian Clout shall simply be referred to as Captain, Head of Personnel Proud Ametrine as HoP, Research Director Soft Zoisite as RD, Head of Security Aegis as HoS, Chief Engineer Bronze Bulwark as CE, Chief Medical Officer Succulent Scent as CMO, and Quartermaster Low Key as QM. This format will be used in further transcripts, so please refer to this transcript if you become confused. NAI Nanotrasen Administrative Intelligence Captain: "It's seven, begin the call." NAI: "Right away, ma'am." *Connected to holographic conference call* Captain: "Ah, good, everypony is here except for Ametrine. Perhaps we might be able to accomplish something here. To start off, I'd like to congratulate everypony for yet another boring workweek where nopony of importance died. I'll be sure to ask our pleasant Head of Personnel i-" HoP: "I'm here." Captain: "Oh, there you are, dear. Sleep well?" HoP: "**** off." Captain: "Lovely as always. Have the custodial technicians managed to scrape the rest of that engineer out of the disposal tubes?" HoP: "They're still working on it." Captain: "Still? Ametrine, do your job and make them work faster. I don't care how. The longer that segment of pipe stays closed, the more waste that backs up, and need I remind you just how much waste this station produ-" HoP: "I know, okay! They've been working as fast as they can, but do we really need to scrub out the entirety of the disposal system? It's a ****ing disposal system! It has **** flowing through it every day of the week!" Captain: *Heavy sighing, commences rubbing at her temples* "Ametrine, allow me to remind you of something: I am your captain, and you will do as you are told. Since it is no secret at this point, let me also remind you that I am your mother, and you have me to thank for getting you this job in the first place. My patience is reaching its end, and I am this close to sending you back to Nanotrasen on the next supply shuttle. I don't need to explain how easy your job is, as anyone could do it. At least your brother has qualifications for his position." RD: "To be honest, I was much happier a-" Captain: "Anyway, with that diatribe out of the way, Ametrine, I expect you to motivate the custodians by any means necessary to finish cleaning that disposal pipe by Friday. I also want to hear a public service announcement later today explaining that the disposal system is not an amusement park ride, and the next crew member to do it will be...I don't know, you figure that part out." HoP: "Killed?" *A few members around the table begin giggling* Captain: "Cute. Speaking of Zoisite, do you have anything new to tell us?" RD: *Clears his throat* "Right, erm, so...my science team has been conducting more observations on the gelatinous life forms the mining team brought back. We have concluded that they are plasmodial in nature, sensitive to heat, and that we will need a new xenobiology department." Captain: *Is silent for exactly three seconds* "Please explain that third detail, Zoisite." RD: "I will need five new xenobiologists to replace the five that were lost Thursday evening." Captain: "Zoisite, actually have some damn intuition for once and explain everything that I would want to know WITHOUT waiting for me to ask for it!" RD: "I-I'm...sorry, Carnelian. There was a containment breach around 5:40 PM on Thursday, a laboratory technician accidentally opened all the cells and the slimes escaped. The xenobiology department was locked down, and everypony who could not get to safety was glomped to death." Captain: *Is once more silent, this time for five whole seconds* "Pardon me, but could you run that word by me again?" RD: "Which one?" Captain: "You know exactly which one." RD: "Xenobiology. It is the study of-" Captain: "I AM TALKING ABOUT THE GLOMPING, YOU DAMN AUTIST!" RD: "I-I...I'm sorry..." HoP: "How DARE you! He's ju-" Captain: "Shut up. You can yell and scream all you like AFTER this meeting is concluded. Also, I no longer have an interest in what that word means anymore. Succulent?" CMO: "Oh, right, well, we've integrated that new operating system we received on Saturday into our diagnostic machines, and the results couldn't be better! I didn't even know that the entire Medical Department had pancreatitis, and even the surgeon couldn't see any signs of it!" Captain: "I see...so what was your conclusion?" CMO: "The obvious: we replaced everypony's pancreas!" Captain: *Grinds teeth* "Succulent, organs do not grow on trees, and the amount of time and resources required to grow one in a test tube does not make this economical in any sense of the word. If a surgeon cannot confirm it with his own two eyes, then disregard the software. Also, please tell me you saved those pancreases." CMO: "Why would we save a bunch of defective pancreases?" Captain: "...Next on the list is Security. Aegis, what do you have to report?" HoS: "Everything's peaceful, ma'am. Nothing to report." Captain: "Oh, thank y-" HoS: "Hold up." *Puts a hoof to his ear piece* "On my way. Sorry folks, seems we got ourselves a domestic dispute in the dorms. Somethin' about a level five wizard tryin' to cast a level 11 spell? Hell if I know, but the place is gettin' torn up pretty fierce, so I'll get back to y'all on that when I've got more information." *Leaves call* Captain: "Alright, okay, not that bad. We've been through worse. On to Engineering, then." CE: "Righty-oh. Singulari'y's wehw wivin optimahw parame'ers, Atmospherics is doing a bang-up job, and we just set up a new solah panehw." Captain: "Excellent." *Silence for five seconds* "Nothing else?" CE: "Nada. No problems at ahw." Captain: "Really?" CE: "Really." Captain: "Oh. Well alright then. Finally, Logi-" CE: "Pahdon me, ma'am?" Captain: "Yes?" CE: "Engineering's the most functionahw depahtment on this entiya vessehw, ay?" Captain: "Yes..." CE: "And ahw the ovah depahtment's ah barely 'olding themselves togevah, ay?" Captain: "Bronze, where is this going?" CE: "Wehw, see, me and me gahden gites was thinking...if we can go an entiyah week wif no accidents, then we rightfully deserve several pizzas." Captain: "...You want me to subsidize a pizza party for the Engineering department?" CE: "Yeah, tha's what I said." Captain: "No. I'm not fostering a competition between the departments. On top of that, with the sheer cost of expenses generated this week, you're better off just celebrating at the bar." CE: "Captain Cahnelian, let me remind you that the Engineering depahtment works day and night to ensure that ahw life support systems remain functioning. If we don't get our pizza, then it won't be my fault if the technician watching the primary SNES, say, passes out from low blood sugah and the entiyah station experiences brownouts the rest of the day..." Captain: "ALRIGHT! FINE! I'll order five medium cheese pizzas, but no more. Be warned, Bronze: I will remember this." CE: "Cheers!" Captain: "Okay, finally onto Logistics. My patience is at its end, so Low, just give me a yes or no: is there anything seriously wrong with your department." QM: "Ummm...I mean that d-" Captain: "I take that as a yes. What?" QM: "Well, we, um, stumbled on more of those slime monsters that Zoisite was studying. Do you want us to bring them on the station, or..." RD: "No." QM: "Okay, and what do you want us to do with them?" RD: "Bury them where you found them and avoid that area like it's an art festival." QM: "Oh...kay then. I'll take your word for it." Captain: "Does anypony else have anything to say? No? Good, this meeting is over. Low, I wish to see you in my office immediately. I have a special assignment for you." QM: "O-Oh, alright then. I-I-I'll be right over!" HoP: "Ew..." Captain: "ONE MORE WORD, AMETRINE! SEE WHAT HAPPENS!" *Disconnected from holographic conference call* Saving File As: staffmeeting1.pfx Saving File... Saving File... Saving File... File Saved Disconnecting Console Shut Down. CONNECTION LOST
  23. So for the lucky ones who saw the new episode in the morning, great! You do you. Unfortunately, I'm one of the more... untimely ones. For those of you who have seen my profile, you'd know I live somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Therefore, the episode aired for me at about 12:30 in the morning. (As if that wasn't enough). Of course, being the dedicated brony I am, I'm not going to let a little lack of sleep bring me down. In fact, after seeing the first trailer for the episode (the one with Rainbow Dash and the scrolls), I knew this was going to be one of the best (hooves down); there was no way I was going to miss this. So, as I waited around for the episode to air, I quickly realized there was something I may have overlooked. Windows 7, bless its soul, loves... I'm talking loves... updates. Mmm. So just around... 20 minutes before air? The computer, (again, bless its Intel), completely shuts down. Of course, I'm astounded, speechless, and staring at the stupid kid in the reflection of the pitch black computer. Now, it wasn't broken, the name of this blog wouldn't be "CD hell", (in all it's clickbait-y love) for nothing. The real problem of the matter was that I, sweating and panting heavily as it was, had no other way to get into the computer. Yes, I'm one of those idiots who doesn't keep a notepad of password. Luckily for me, I had a bootable CD and Windows XP laptop. Unluckily for me, I didn't know where either was. Frantically, I'm running up and down the stairs with no AC, (it's really hot here. Texas x2), and pulling out every CD I could find. It totaled up to about fourteen CDs. Windows XP, (screw you), was still booting while the downstairs, streaming computer was still trying to load those few... simple... lowly... 11 UPDATES. Between running downstairs and ripping out disk trays, I still couldn't find it. From empty disks, to music disks of the later decade, nothing would work. I literally tried everything, but still, there was no bootable CD. I eventually pulled a desperation and tried my best to remember the password. Nothing. Finally, after pacing around the room like a pendulum, I found myself pulling LAN cords and dragging the "brick" of a computer down the stairs and throwing it beside the modem, hooking it up and installing a cheap, 2012 copy of Google Chrome I'd stored for safe keeping. The lesson of today? Uh... respect your elder computers? Either way, episode was great! -RealityPublishing
  24. Chapter 1 - It's CHRISTMAS! ========================================================= His eyes jolt open to the sound of a blizzard and frantic wind blowing onto his quaint little house in Ponyville. It took him a few minutes to realize that his upper body was up while his lower body was still relaxed onto the bed, he sighs softly to himself as he had remembered what the others had said, there would be a snow storm later tonight. "Huh, guess they were right." He said out loud and to no one in particular as he got up and walked to the opened window and closed it to avoid getting hypothermia in his own home, what a way to go that would be. 'Here lies Kyo Sunbringer, forgot to close window.' The sudden mental image made him laugh a little bit and got him to remind himself that he was alone in the house to share no laughs with. Its even worse when all the ponies he knows are either to busy to hang out with him or they practically hate his guts enough to stop caring about him. It hurts, but it's the sad truth... And funnily enough, you accept that. It was a full month when he got here in Equestria by... Strange paranormal means, let's call it. And when he had met the ponies, they were incredibly excited and frightened to meet him. They all thought he would gobble them up, hurt them or take their children. ... Okay, granted he did pick up a filly and nuzzled her from her adorableness, but her sister came around and practically KICKED him in the chest and was out like a light. What a misunderstanding that was... Thought it didn't stop her from distrusting him completely and warned the other ponies to not get too involved with him, but the lavender purple alicorn herself had an interested look in her eye when she found out that Kyo was completely sentient. And believe it or not, he too was a little confused on how sentient these creatures were but that's neither here nor there. Within a full week he was able to get some ponies trust by just staying away from them, 'strangely enough you do what they ask to do and they'll start to feel bad for you.' he thought. Now a month later he was at a neutral relationship with the town, but he still needed room for improvement, but he'll cross that bridge once he gets to it. Right now, it was Christmas and he decided to celebrate it his own special way: alcohol and the time to feel sorry for himself and have a mild case of depression, y'know the usual shindig. But it was even more depressing since he was the only one who celebrated Christmas while the others celebrated... "Oh man, what was it called again?" He said out loud. "Hearth's warming! That's right!" He continued as he clicks his fingers. "Even in a happier place like this, I can't stop my old habits." He said as he walked into his workshop and got a bottle of Applejack Daniels from the cabinet. "Pfft, Applejack Daniels, seriously? Ugh, I hate whiskey..." Somewhere out there you could hear the fated words coming: "Pass the whiskey!" He shook his head and chuckled at the strange mental image again, he sighs. "Well, this is better than nothing I guess." He sat down and opened the bottle, he got a shot glass and poured some in, after that he took the shot and shivered from it. It wasn't unpleasant, it was more sweet than burning. The taste of apple and cinnamon overriding the taste of disgusting alcohol was a nice exchange... He could definitely drink more of this and hopefully feel plastered by the end of the bottle or if his lightweight side came along the first quarter would knock him clean out. His wish was for either since he wanted this day to go faster and by Tria, he would do anything to not trigger any horrible memories, not only that but he didn't want to be bothered by anyp-- Before he could finish that inner monologue, the doorbell rang. Kyo looked over to the door and sighed to himself as he ignored it and went for another drink, but the doorbell rang once more and a couple more for good measure, this made him a little bit annoyed and got up, he walks to the door and opened it. It was Spike, and he seemed to be shivering. 'Which was odd since I normally thought he was immune to weather conditions, guess it didn't sink in just yet.' He thought in his mind and then wondered. "So, what's up Spike? Need anything?" Despite Kyo's impatience and annoyance to the drake, he couldn't say anything mean to the guy, he was the only one who he found to be even close to a friend. Spike looked a little bit unsure of himself. "Hey Kyo... Uhm, I was wondering if you'd come over to the castle." Kyo blinks a bit and folds his arms. "Oh really? Why?" Now he was getting impatient, but he was curious as to see where this goes. Spike took notice and nervously smiles. "Eheh... Well, Twilight really wants to see you and it's been a few days since she last saw you... S-so did the other girls." Kyo couldn't believe a single word he said, so he looked around the snowy streets of Ponyville and looked back at Spike. "Is this a joke?" He finally said. "This isn't some prank Rainbow has you dished out, has she? Cause if so, I'm not laughing Spike. This isn't funny!" Kyo said looking at Spike whom looked a little bit hurt and Kyo felt a bit guilty from nearly exploding from rage. "I-I know that you guys haven't been getting along b-but..." He stammered out and Kyo sighed and shook his head. "Sorry Spike, I refuse tonight... I got a lot on my mind and being around friends isn't gonna help... In fact, I think its best that you ignore me for the rest of this week." Kyo said in a bit more of a tolerable tone, but it still made Spike a little upset. "O-oh... Okay, erm... Is it about this 'Christmas' thing?" He said with a bit curiousness to his voice. Oh the naivety of youth. Kyo had sighed again. "Kinda, but it's also got something to do with me and the girls in general, if I be there in the castle I'm just going to make things worse and no doubt I'd cause a lot of trouble." Spike looked down and nodded in understanding. "Oh... Okay. Alright, well if you change your mind..." He said solemnly, he looks to the floor and begins waddling back to the castle. A part of Kyo wanted to scold himself for declining the guy, but you know what they say: 'Don't feed the flames with more fuel.' And Kyo just didn't want to be THAT guy whom has fuelled the flames for just being there. Kyo closed the door and sat back down on the table to get another drink of Applejack Daniels, hopefully tonight will go down without a hitch. "Cheers." He said solemnly before downing the shot and sighing loudly to himself. [End of Chapter 1]