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  • some blog talking about G5
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  • ,
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  • A Dating-Sim
  • My Little Citrus: Reviewing is Magic
  • rainbowdash1212's Blog
  • Fallen Angel
  • [unused]
  • Only the best!
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  • OH MY GOD THERE'S A PONY IN FUTURAMA!
  • The Nitpicker's Guide to Roleplaying
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  • .
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  • When Noire is Tired.
  • Sergei's song of the week.(Discontinued)
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  • Viricide Filly's Wondercave of Music and Hypnosis
  • The Rise of the Black Bird
  • Spiral to Hell: A Guid to Understanding Girls <3
  • Let's try to actually keep this up!
  • Blog about my life
  • Frozen's Blog of Random Stuff
  • Sailor Equestria's Public Presence
  • Jora's Blog
  • Blog
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  • Journals of Wonko the Sane
  • DA PONESLAYR BLOG
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  • Should Zoidberg and Rarity get married?
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  • A Wannabe Talks About Stuff
  • My Struggles with Depression
  • First Blog :)
  • no
  • My Fandom Blog
  • Acknowledgement: How I feel about the forums.
  • Starlight's Sight
  • Gleaming blade's Blog
  • The Big Fellah's Big Braw Blog
  • 2014 MLPF World Cup
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  • Comfort- Hearts and Hooves Day Contest.
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  • Wolfstuff
  • First Blog Post
  • Give Me a Ship and I'll Rate It
  • Dawn Glow
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  • That guy's game give away
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  • Moost's Blog
  • Filler
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  • Fighting against myself
  • Candy Star's MLP Channel Announcements
  • The Pheinox
  • Brianna Changeling's Life
  • The Cash Vault
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  • Confessions of an American Trixie Fanboy
  • So much Diablo
  • kotakotakota's Thoughts
  • Lolnus' Blog
  • None
  • DragonKing235's Blog
  • Life Written By Destiny
  • [unused]
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  • Candy Star's MLP PMV Blog[Discontinued]
  • Ramblings of a unicorn princess
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  • Warlock Boo's Scripts
  • Thoughts On Games, Movies, Shows,& Life
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  • A PerVexxing Blog
  • Blaze's Corner for Random Junk
  • Freewave's Thoughts
  • Foxy's Blog
  • Scoots reviewing the beginning of the Nolan trilogy
  • Sombra to skylar:!
  • The Wind Chaser
  • [unused]
  • How to Draw Tutorials
  • Burning Snow
  • DL33TED's Blog
  • My Good Friend
  • Gamecubeguy's PAC-TASTIC Combo Videos
  • Gaming, television, literature, and more
  • ExplosionMare Blogs
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  • Heavyshy's Blog #3
  • The Scripture of Twilight Celuna Circuits
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  • XxConfusedUnicornxX's Corner!
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  • Sapphire's Renegade Thoughts
  • BubbleTea Blog
  • A Wannabe's Idea Dump
  • Because I can
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  • Serenity Under the Moon
  • The Amazing Spider-Man Breakdown
  • The Blog of User Funerals
  • Outkin's Blog
  • Blog
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  • CosmicHoove's Blog
  • I've returned, kind of.
  • theonenamedDJ's Blog
  • Derpflutterbronys blog
  • Dear Twilight
  • Lil Pip's Blog
  • The writings of a clod
  • Music
  • Vicke's Blog
  • Sugar Plum thinks about things
  • Pony Hypnosis
  • Guyra's Corner.
  • The Dude's Movie Reviews
  • Snowy Storm's Blog
  • My Life......
  • I must be dreaming...
  • Saturday Group Chat
  • Metallic guitar's Blog
  • Fan Animations
  • The Chronicles Of Rooster
  • Steel Accord's Blog
  • Forest Hideout
  • Thoughts keeping me up at night
  • Overthinking Everything
  • Steamgamer27's Blog
  • Procrastination at its Best!
  • Guyra's Corner.
  • Everfree's Blog
  • The mind of Rev
  • The Godspell According to Renegade: How I Found Disenlightenment Through Postmodern Zen Buddhism
  • BionicBrony's Blog
  • Saturday Group Chat
  • Delzepp's Blog (guess this is as good a title as any)
  • Various Pictures of My Characters
  • 2
  • Stardust Balance's Blog
  • Vlog and what not... pod cast? Is that what they are calling them now?
  • Deep Thoughts No One Cares About
  • SweetieBelle Excel's Blog
  • Fruitastic Brony (Closed)
  • Equestrian Spring: Chaos vs Lawful
  • Octavia's Forum
  • DusK's Brony Music Picks
  • Moten's Story
  • My little journal: Literature is magic
  • The Nocturnian Era: Spiritual Bronyism in Hindsight
  • LullabySkout's Reviews
  • The Analysis Station
  • The war is real!! (Warhammer 40K Blog)
  • Green Bolt's Blog
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  • The Archives [100236]
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  • .
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  • .
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  • old blog that i can't delete [1/4]
  • Brony and Pegasister Issues.
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  • From The Mind of This Guy
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  • Archive of my old stupid opinions
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  • hasbro needs to get their act together. [rant]
  • YIGY Shorty Stories
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  • Chatroom Announcements
  • My reaction to Alicorn Twilight.
  • Sugar's Sweet Sentiments
  • Gone
  • fanfics, fan art, and other stuff
  • Nostalgia Gamers Blog!!
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  • .
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  1. This is something I have thought about for ages, what with my dissatisfaction with the way things are. I came to plenty of conclusions (I am setting literally no rules on how you answer) involving other universes and being some kind of supernatural creature, and I think now I've finally come to an answer I never thought I'd come to: THIS life... except with all the most regrettable parts taken out. I mean, if we're setting no boundaries since this is purely hypothetical, you'd think I'd take full advantage of it by making it that I'm some kind of ultimate sorcerer or a celebrity. But this life is what I realize I truly want, it's just all the blemishes that ruin it for me. So if some ultimate power allowed me to restart life with all the knowledge I have now, that would be swell. So, if you could choose literally ANY life you could think of, what would it be?
  2. The way I cope with depression is by distracting myself with other things like video games. Also, exercise is another effective way that helps me cope with depression.
  3. Because I have. Let me tell a bit about my life. My early years (up to age 6 I guess) was a pretty bad time. I didn't have any friends, I had to attend to preschool twice (which is still a bit of a mystery to me nowadays) and overall felt bad, my mom and dad were always arguing and my dad was a bit scary those times. It ended up in my parents to divorce, and we moved far away from my dad. Since then, I've visited dad now and then from all the way up here. Ever since we came here, I did actually make a friend or two, each of them during primary school (classes 1-6), where my longest-known friend came on the 1st class. He is still my friend these days, much like someone else, but I'll tell more about that shortly. Ok so it was the 6th and final class of the primary school, at which moment I was the oldest pupil of the whole school (caused by attending to preschool twice, meaning that I'm basically a year behind). Moving to middle school (classes 7-9), and that was the worst time of my life to remember so far (can't remember much about my childhood). I was constantly bullied and I hoped I could make friends, but they were basically all just bullies. After I made it through all those years, it was time to move to college, my choice was a business college. It started nicely, the class was nice, but just recently (about 4 months ago) I had thoughts about leaving the school, because the education line I chose (IT & Customer Service I guess) wasn't really made for me. I also turned 18 (October 15th), and shortly after that, we moved again. To the city where the college is, while we had been living in the town for like 10 years. So now that I'm here, I desperately hope to enjoy my studying more in the new school, as well as get more friends - I don't have anyone close to me right now. Now, some info out of the school life. I've NEVER ever done paid job, only the necessary parts throughout school, with the easiest way possible. I'm very antisocial and I'm still a bit anxious about the thought to work someday, I'm still not sure. All this packed together reminds me of how pitiful I am. I have two older sisters, who both have succeeded in a lot of things, while I, desperately wanting friends, is struggling inside. I haven't done anything remarkable, keeping a low profile my whole life. In other words, breathing, and that's all there is to it. But no matter how bad my life has been, I still believe and wait for the better future; as an infant it had been said I couldn't have had a future at all; my life was at risk but thankfully the doctors kept me running. TL;DR I'm weak. Share your weak points of life here!
  4. I don't like being depressed as much as the next guy, but sometimes when i am, i like listening to depressing stuff. What about you?
  5. Is there anyone out there with mental health issues? I mean more like anxiety, depression etc... it doesn't just have to be autism, but I won't disregard anyone for posting about this either. I just don't want to make this thread a repeat of the autistic thread. Also, if there's already a thread about this, feel free to redirect me there. ^^ As for myself... aside from my autism, I have very severe anxiety. It's often so bad that it disables me from doing most things. A lot of medical pros tell me it's due to my anxiety, which is a little stupid. They don't really understand how hard it is or how bad it can get. I've also self-harmed before. I've been clean for several months now, and I'm very proud of myself for this!
  6. Right now I feel extremely lonely, worthless, and demotivated. It happens a lot whenever I'm not busy. And this is really a problem I need a solution to, the fact that no matter how busy I get and no matter how much time passes, I always feel depressed whenever I stop to take a breath. It's like staying busy is only masking my problems, not helping them. I'm also having other problems right now, I want to go back to college and find a career but I don't know which one to aim for. I thought it would be something about computers, but being honest I've lost my love for them. I no longer want to be a computer programmer because I can't find any motivation, love, enjoyment, and enthusiasm for it. I don't know if my depression is causing me to feel that way or not, but I do know that is how I've been feeling about computer programming. Because of this, I can't find any career to aim for and I can't find a reason to go back to college either. Some people have given me the advice that college isn't for me and I should just stick with the job I have, but the problem is that all the jobs I've worked and the job I'm working are jobs that I don't like and have no passion for. This leads me to the conclusion that there is nothing for me in life and it makes me feel talentless and worthless. I know it's not healthy to think that way, but I can't help it because it seems very true with the way things are going for me. And I don't know what to do with loneliness. No matter how many people I make friends with, it never goes away. I try to think positive, but thinking positive has the same results as staying busy - it only masks my problems instead of helping them. As for medication, they don't help. I've been on them for a long time, yet they are also only masking the problem instead of helping it. It's like everything in this hell of a world I live in does nothing to help, it's like I'm permanently stuck this way. Every day seems unproductive, and whenever I do something productive I feel miserable. I just wish I was nonexistent, that would not only help my problems, it would get rid of them entirely.
  7. How has it affected you? How much depression have you endured? As for me, I've only had one major experience with depression, and I'm still going through it right now. It started 2 years ago at the beginning of 2018, and it got really bad. It got better though when I took counseling and anti-depressants. As of now it still lingers, and I'm continuing with counseling and anti-depressants.
  8. I dont know why i post this, but im lost and need to talk something out. I could write it in the Life Advice Topic but im pretty sure they wouldnt be a solution to my problem, so i keep it as a Blog Update. My current Living Situation gets worse. At first i wrote an Update about being angry at my sisters Dog, but i never actually mentioned the whole story. Its not just that the Dog annoys me, im heavily allergic to the Dog. The Doctor even said i could get Asthma after a while and should really move out. My current Health Problems regarding the Allergy are : A skin rash ( i think its spelled ) on my face, which swells and then burst open and bleeds, my Pillow has small blood marks as well as some of my cloathing, because it almost always bleeds, a skin rash on my legs, with red and purple marks that itch and hurt, a constant running nose, coughing and last but not least, infections behind and in my ears, that hurt. And since i have ear problems already and have to let them get cleaned by a doctor at east once a year, now i have pain every single time, either that or i dont go to the doctor and dont hear much at all, since my ears get closed. So...yeah, we have the Dog for almost over 10 Years now, that means 10 Years of suffering so far and it doesnt come to an end, it just gets worse. Talking to my Family doesnt work, they dont want to give the dog away and that gets me even more stress, because of the constant discussions about it. My Health gets worse and my sanity also decreased. I get Rage outs and anger attacks, burst out crying or get suicide thoughts. Well, at least that was the beginning. Currently im so depressed, angry and stressed out, that i even thought about killing the dog or my sister. ( i will never do that of course, its just very horrible thoughts ) I need serious help, but nobody wants to help me. Im in emotional and literal pain. I just dont know what to do anymore, my life feels like a joke, like i dont belong here and i just want to leave, but i cant. First the mobbing in my childhood years and the beating up ( which let to early suicide thoughts ), then my teenager years with bullying and first allergy problems and now its still going. I just want to die. I cant get a job, i cant get help, i cant do anything, i dont even have any nearby friends who could help me, nor family members who have space for me. Im afraid i might do something i will regret and might end up in jail, i dont know what to do. Well, if i dont come online anymore, there are two Options for that: Either i comitted suicide or killed someone ( i was very angry as i was written this, of course i wouldnt kill anyone. ) and i would go to jail. ( but im pretty sure i wouldnt kill anyone and mostly just beat someone in my family up, but that would me get to prison as well, IN WHICH I WOULD STILL LIVE MORE HEALTHIER THAN I DO NOW! Dont know what this will bring, but i have no one to talk to and the person who owns the dog, even threatend to sue me, after i made everything public about the situation. Isnt life wonderful? Oh yeah, also, apparently, if i would manage to actually get a job education, i still wouldnt have enough money for my first year to move out, leading to work stress and life stress at the same time. Great Conditions, for showing motivation and a positive aura for a Job. EDIT : I also forgot to mention, that i also have stomach problems, probably because of the constant changes in emotions, which lets to chest pain, and me having to go the toilette very often and because i have to drive for over an hour to go to work, the drive itself is a nightmare. Also also, do to my emotional problems, i had to stop drawing and probably will never have a relationship what so ever in the next...i dont know, 2-3 Years or even longer.
  9. Yeah I know. Not a very professional topic title. However I'm asking this because I'm feeling generally sad right now... And noticed something. I repeat the same thing every single time I go into this state. It's almost natural. When I get into this state of sadness or regret or anything I do the same thing every time. One thing being listening to this song over and over again. Don't ask me why. Also I tend to drink a lot water. I don't know why but when I feel this way I just sit here, listening to that song and drinking absurd amounts of water. So I'm curious. Do you follow a routine like I do when I go into this saddened state or are you fairly unpredictable? Also you don't have to tell but what do you do in a state such as this?
  10. So I've been doing this sort of research project now, and I've come to a question I need opinions on. I am not a worthy candidate since I am pretty hard to please. So I want to know; What Makes You Happy? (Please put down anything and everything that comes to mind, I need as much information as I can get)
  11. We've all had those times. When we feel at the end of our rope, bottom of our hole, out of hope. We all have different ways of dealing with the sadness that finds its way into our hearts, minds, and souls. What are your ways of dealing with the blues? Watching T.V? Listening to music? Laying in bed while staring at the ceiling?
  12. Well after recently watching one of the best TV episodes in all of television, I really feel positive. I feel like expressing that positivity into what I see for 2019. The potential for maybe something good to happen to me for once. Maybe it will be the best year of my entire life. Although I'll be the first to admit, the opposite may once again be true, and if it were bad enough it could be my last year of life (You know what I'm implying here), I'm really looking forward to a year in and of itself for the first time, quite literally ever. I know this is about 3 weeks late, but I'll dive into it here. Why exactly do I feel cautiously optimistic about 2019? Well here are a couple of reasons. ~What's coming out in 2019?~ There are some AMAZING things coming out this year. Among them being Toy Story 4, Borderlands 3, Hazbin Hotel, and Long Gone Gulch. Toy Story 4 seems, so far, to be on its way to being a phenomenal ending place for the series (Here's the summary that says so). I really feel the hype on this one. As for Borderlands 3, I'm REALLY excited. It's another Borderlands game, what do I have to say here? As for Hazbin Hotel, it's been shaping up to be among my favorite adult animated shows of all time (I DOUBT it will beat out Rick and Morty and the older seasons of the Simpsons, but I think it will be up there). But nonetheless, definitely loving the dark creativity. And for Long Gone Gulch, the character concepts and the blending of genres are both QUITE intriguing to me. I see it being perhaps among the best of all time with the potential shown by Rawhide's character. I'm sure there's more to be excited about, but these are the main things. Like yes, the Bowser's Inside STory remake is a thing, and yes so are things like Infinity Train. But these are the things that REALLY make me feel like there's hope. Maybe a Chance at Love? <3 I think it's ACTUALLY possible I'll find him. You now, the one. I know it's been a struggle in that department with you know the fact I as of now have a whopping 3 ex-boyfriends at the age of 21, but I've began to become hopeful in recent times I might find the fourth and maybe they'll revise that saying to "the fourth is the charm." But I have hope for a three reasons. Firstly, I have made my own blog post citing what I want in that department, and I'll link it right here. Secondly, over those 3 failed relationships, I gained a better understanding of how to make them work, or at least I'm led to believe so. And last, but not least, the potential move may help out a LOT here. If I moved in with my brother I'd be moving into the second largest city in the state and the seventh largest city in the country (San Antonio, Texas). By my math (and admittedly a few assumptions), that leaves me in that city alone... Just about 10,000 possibilities. Yes, 10 THOUSAND (for a male looking for a relationship with another of the same sex, that's an awful lot of possibilities). At least 1 ought to be compatible? Of course this is all me trying to be positive. The realism of this is still... a bit shaky at the very best.
  13. It's a new day. Every waking moment for me is one with despair, and I'm constantly starved for help for my crippling sadness. Frankly, I'd say I have a long road ahead of more depression. Around every corner, there's more things for me to be depressed about. I'm feeling numb, because I feel like I have no time left until I do something horrible... All that remains of my not as worrisome past are some posts I made on the web. As if that wasn't bad enough, I live in a house divided by religious views and politics. I wish I could talk about it on the internet without putting myself in harms way. But if I did that, I would be left with nothing but being amid the ruins of my old life. I wish I could go back. But sadly, there is no going back. I have so many regrets. I wish I could do something about it, but I can't because time is the ties that bind. I would've just taken the things I needed then, but I couldn't do that because I'm not above the law. I'm saddened by this, but hopefully I'll get over it because I'm thicker than water. But unfortunately, my only escape from my despair seems to be from the gallows. I guess I could say that I'm done running. I just don't wanna live a life of emptiness anymore. I especially after listening to my mom playing "Suffer the Children Unto Me." And after examining all the broken toys I have remaining from my past... I can only say one thing... TAKE US BACK.
  14. Well, once again I find myself copying somebody else's idea for a blog post. Seriously what is wrong with me? Well, I'll tell you what's wrong with me, from the top. I was born out of a high risk pregnancy. My mother had a congenital defect in one of her heart valves, and it nearly caused both of us to die, from what I heard. That's why I was born in a Seattle hospital. Both of my siblings were born in Renton, Washington, because they were far more normal. I hear that I was also born a couple of weeks premature. I was apparently initially a relatively normal child. I hear that I was very interested with helping my dad out with stuff. Now I have a hard time believing this, considering the cynical, useless piece of human waste I have become. Seriously, what do I even do for anyone anymore? Sure I occasionally help other people, but most of the time my anxiety and my lack of empathy get in the way. Or of course my pre-occupation with video games and the like. I was initially considered to be mentally retarded, because I literally never spoke. I initially thought I didn't get into kindergarten because I couldn't tie my own shoes, but this reason makes more sense. I'll admit, they were initially not too far from wrong. My intelligence didn't really blossom until around 4th grade or so. All I had to say for myself until that point was being the first kid done with their multiplication charts... But also I was the only kid to wet myself in the middle of class because I was scared of my uncomfortable surroundings. Also, I was in special education classes, and my reading level was WAY below average. To the point where I was in a kindergarten class for part of the day. Dang I used to be an idiot. In a way I still kind of am... I finally learned how to learn how to tie my own shoes at the age of 10 and I finally somehow stopped wetting myself around the age of 14... I also finally learned to double-knot around the age of 14 also, but even then I was bullied for single-knotting more than enough by that time to realize I was years behind the curve... My handwriting was abysmal to the point of people being unable to read it... I worked on it for years and it's still yet to get past the neatness of your average fifth grader... Then I gave up on that, because I asked myself this question: What's the use in trying? I can't write like a normal person, so why should I make the attempt to? Seriously, it's a complete waste of time. Now as an adult, I deal with nearly constant emotional problems. I have silent anxiety attacks (yes, they do exist) at least once every other day, I spend most of my days hiding my depression from myself and everyone else, and I try to tame my, what I consider, manic outbursts. My dad and my grandma used to say I bounced off the wall as a kid sometimes it was so bad. I also had issues with anger that I tried to hide (but failed to a degree), and my anxiety about relationships of the sexual and romantic varieties. Seriously, it's bad. I'm not going into depth HOW bad, but let's just say that it's made me think I'm a disgusting creep for reasons that I can't really discuss in depth because it may break forum rules. I also deal with the constant issue of being disappointed with what I see in the mirror everyday. Between the eyebrows marred by my anxiety, my uncomfortable and emasculating facial hair that I frequently forget to shave for days on end, all of my body hair, this bulging thing coming through my neck... Now I realized that my legs aren't even. Gosh dang it I'm an ugly mess. Now that I've worried about my anxiety and depression, I've become aware that my problems may be attributed to Asperger's Syndrome and potentially Cyclothymia and even possibly ADD. Combine that with Gender Dysphoria and you get a freak with no life and little purpose other than to maybe develop a tabletop game, that may not even ever come out if things go wrong. I feel like there's more to add here, but I'm just not able to think of it right now... I got too wound up seeing a guy play K Rool like a boss in a YouTube video about how stupid he is in Smash Ultimate, and too occupied thinking about how worthless I've been. Luckily I'm not thinking about suicide anymore, but I'm still tormented by thoughts about me being a waste. Also I can't count, because I thought this was the fifth "Cry for Help" when it was only the fourth. Seriously, why?
  15. Yunno, if Lightning Dust comes back, I just realized that I don't think she should try to have her revenge on Rainbow Dash for having her kicked out of the academy! Yunno what should happen? Her returning episode could have a moral that teaches depression! I mean, Lightning Dust's dreams were crushed! Yes, by her own actions and she'd realize that and lost hope for ever being happy again. So Rainbow Dash would feel sorry for her, and would probably blame herself for having her kicked out which Rainbow probably didn't expect to happen cause what if it was Rainbow that was reckless that caused to get kicked out? So she'd try to fix things, but it wouldn't be that easy because Spitfire's decision is final! This episode would definitely make Spitfire look like the villain! Y'see Lightning probably didn't know better when she was reckless - she let pride take the best of her, and without warning, without probation, she's just gone. At least Wind Rider knew exactly what he was doing so he deserved to be kicked out, but did LD really know better? I don't even see her as the revenge type, which is why Grandpa Wind Rider did it! Oh c'mon, that 'flight record' reason was just a cover-up! Depression is a big problem today, and if MLP were to address that, it could help inspire some people that do have it! Lightning wouldn't be a villain, but a victim of her own actions, and that would be a huge change for the show!
  16. How long has it been since I last even looked at this blog? Lol. Quite a while. Well, let's get to talking again. Something I've personally been struggling with for quite some time. Maybe you have been too? Have you ever felt like you were not good enough? Or just not even good enough for existence? That is a good question by the way? Why are we all here? So many answers that have already been brought up on this subject. Maybe you have been through something in your past. Maybe you've been told things that were negative about you for a long time. Have you maybe even ever hurt someone, like a family member, or a friend? Have you done it multiple times and maybe begin asking why? Maybe I'm just no good. People don't like me. I should shrink away from the world and just run. All I do is hurt people. I don't even like myself. Any of this sound familiar? It does to me. Stop it. Don't make me smack that hoof, hand, paw, whatever it is of yours. Listen. We are all going to screw up, some worse than others. Even things such as not being good at something that we love can trigger these kinds of thoughts. This has happened to me many times with my drawings. If I screwed up I was so quick to take that along with other missteps in my lifetime, as an excuse to place myself in such a low place that I felt there was no way that I could get back up. This is something that is especially dangerous for those who suffer with depression, like me. Listen. Let me just make a point on all this. I don't care what you did. I don't care how many people you may have made dislike you by doing whatever you did to them. I don't care how many mistakes you have made on things you love to do, then compound all this into thinking you must be a bad person and worthless to the world. Do me a favor. Put the world aside. Put everyone else aside, and look at yourself. What do you see? Are you broken, tired, what? As I stated in another entry of mine, you are not today, who you were yesterday. Take care of yourself. Stop worrying about what the world thinks you are. What are you in your eyes? Are you so bad just because of what you messed up in the past? Can you not just become a better person? Maybe you cannot get back the people you chased away back, but you can find new ones. Maybe one day, even if they don't come back, you can still show them you are not as bad as they think you are. Become your true self. Don't lie to others and yourself. You are you now. Let go of what made you so unhappy, and go forth to become greater. Go and be happy. I know this entry is quite a mixed bag, but I hope you can find something of it.
  17. I have confession to make.......... when I get really depressed, I hurt myself.... I will sometimes lock myself up in my room and just..... mess legs up..... with blade..... even though I've had good times recently, it always comes back... feeling of worthlessness..... I feel like I have no place......... why does this happen so much?
  18. Mind giving me some feedback on this? I've been thinking about putting it to music. [PLEASE DO NOT COPY] The Girl 1. Once was a girl 2. With a bright personality. 3. She never meant to hurt 4. And despised brutality. 5. She was eager to help 6. And would ask to play with one other. 7. But when she fell, 8. The girl wasn't held by another. 9. Though her intention was good, 10. She came off as clumsy. 11. She never understood 12. What the problem might be. 13. As the girl got older, 14. Her conflict only grew. 15. "You're broken." They told her. 16. "The world's better off without you." 17. At the age of twelve, 18. Her communications were limited. 19. She'd talk to herself 20. And her nature grew timid. 21. All through middle school, 22. She was taught by a screen. 23. She was seen as a fool 24. The few times she had company. 25. When spending was at minimum 26. And her situation became fruitless, 27. She was thrown to the system 28. In hopes of cleaning her mess. 29. So now at age fourteen, 30. She was expected of more. 31. She knew nothing of scene 32. Or about this 'common core'. 33. No one would talk to her 34. Or stand within half a mile. 35. Though treated like an intruder, 36. She still wore her usual smile. 37. Like a broken record, 38. She'd sing without anyone to admire. 39. "I don't know where to go 40. Or who to be. 41. I wish someone 42. Or anyone would help me. 43. I feel empty inside.” 44. She would plea. 45. “No place to go hide. 46. This world has grown cold. 47. It's suffocating me." 48. She longed to break the mold 49. And needed to break free. 50. Day in and day out, 51. Her fate seemed evident. 52. She was cursed to roam about 53. Without anyone to her feeling significant. 54. She began to build a fortress 55. Out of fear for the demons she faced. 56. Depression became her mistress. 57. She pondered as she across the floor paced, 58. “This is all?” 59. Surely her life weighed more than this. 60. But the truth finally answered her call 61. When another girl offered a hand when she tripped. 62. Along with it, 63. This girl beamed a bright smile. 64. Taken back a bit, 65. She returned the grin with a hint of denial. 66. Little did they know, 67. These two would be inseparable. 68. Some say their friendship is just for show 69. It seems strange for a friendship to be so immeasurable. 70. The girl made more friends 71. Along the way. 72. Not to belittle those relations, 73. But the smiley girl mattered more than she could say. 74. She had replaced her prior feelings 75. She thought she so well knew 76. With a newfound joy. 77. She felt so at ease around these few. 78. Her previous darkness was but her demon’s lost ploy. 79. Instead of murmuring 80. With words of depression, 81. Her voice is now elevating 82. And singing proudly her tale of revelation. 83. “No longer, 84. I won't be held down. 85. Or defined by another.” 86. She sang whether it rained or wind blew. 87. “I'm tired of crying 88. In a corner somewhere. 89. I'd rather be out smiling 90. With people who care. 91. These hard hearted people 92. Can yell all they want. 93. That doesn't mean it gives me a cripple 94. Or I care about their thought.” 95. This whole life of her’s, 96. She didn’t know why she had so much trouble. 97. But after telling her of these disorders, 98. At least she could to lessen the struggle. 99. “Yeah I'm broken. 100. So what? 101. It's my problem. 102. Your point was? 103. If my flaws annoy you that much, 104. Why don't you go look in the mirror for once. 105. There's not one definition of perfect. 106. There's not one word for me. 107. I'd rather be a clipped bird 108. And continue to sing. 109. Than be a beautiful butterfly 110. That'll be forgotten in a week. 111. It won't matter what I wore 112. 10 years from now. 113. But I'll stay torn 114. If I blindly wander around. 115. With no opinion of myself 116. Besides the lies you've told my head? 117. As if I'd leave my feelings on a shelf 118. And take your word instead. 119. Sorry little miss. 120. Guess I'm not as weak as you thought. 121. You've shown me my feelings don’t deserve a dismiss 122. And why you shouldn't tease and cause distraught.” 123. These lessons she’s learned 124. Will give her strength every day. 125. She’s met people who’ll be concerned 126. And pick her up when she feels dismay. 127. It’s now been a year 128. Since the girl was brought into this environment. 129. She’s matured greatly here 130. Despite her rough settlement. 131. Without these few youth 132. She’s met in this place, 133. She may have stayed aloof 134. With a fake smile upon her face. 135. As time has passed, 136. The world continues to spin. 137. Just as hurtful comments do not last 138. Against a sincere and joyful grin. 139. Though the girl still faces daily problems, 140. It’s much easier to deal. 141. She will achieve excellence 142. If these people continue to help in ordeal. 143. The story doesn’t end right away 144. For it has only just begun. 145. Even to this day, 146. This girl still sings of past transgression. 147. She’s helped many without personally knowing them 148. With her tale of victory. 149. But she cannot irradiate the problem. 150. Her actions will not be enough only. 151. It will take the everyday person 152. To change this society. 153. Not with large scale projects to immerse in. 154. But with average people like you and me.
  19. Insert obligatory suicide joke here. Okay, so...hello everyone. You're probably wondering why I of all people would be writing some melodramatic entry regarding depression. Because, essentially, I've exampled that my philosophy regarding "cyberbullying" or whatever is to have fun with it. When someone tells me "kill urself faggut", my go-to response (conceived by my current bandmate many eons ago) is "one would desperately want to kill themselves after one glance at you." I try not to take any of that crap seriously, because its boring and self-destructive. You get yourself all wound up over nothing, when there's so much more you could be wasting your energy on. Insert self-pleasuring joke here. Once upon a time, maybe three years ago, I was a special little snowflake that used to take all criticisms and personal insults to heart. And I used to attempt some pretty brash things in the past. But don't worry, I had an existential crisis last month and now I fear death hysterically and want to avoid it like the plague. Much better. Although, when I did take "bullying" seriously, back when I was a bitch, it didn't really have to do much with social media. Upon taking a Social Media course in high school, I actually kind of became a little interested in its linked effects. So, in summation, no, this entry isn't some confessional sob story about how social media made me a depressed emo wrist-slitter. It didn't. What I want to discuss is facts about depression, facts about social media, and hypotheticals regarding the two. Then, I'll let you all decide what you do with that information. Will you take it to heart, or forget about it in 10 minutes? My money's on the latter, but if I lose the bet, I'm not paying anybody jack. Now, depression is much more than crying about a breakup or someone calling you fat....assuming you are fat or even got laid to begin with. Depression is an illness that creates cognitive dysfunctions that lead to physical problems. The most direct of these include self-harming, fatigue, a lack of concentration, or sleep deprivation, and the obvious suicide. Now, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States behind nine other things I can't bother looking up, so people "killing themselves faggut" is a pretty big deal around these parts. With this information in mind, it's to be made absolutely clear that depression isn't something you can sleep off or even technically talk out with someone. Depression is an ongoing state of being, and it can screw you up in a lot of different ways. There's a couple of stories like this one, from people who actually went through it and are probably still struggling with it, that perfectly explain the seriousness of the illness. Personally, it's reading those stories that not only give me a better understanding of the disease, but also make me realize I didn't know jack shit about depression at 14 years old. Given all of that, we get into the real point of this editorial: social media's effect on depression, and vice-versa. It's no secret that depression can be fueled on social media. I see a lot of posts here about depression confessions and whatnot, just on these forums alone. Imagine the whole wide world of people on Twitter, YouTube, MySpace, and AOL that are putting their stories out there. Imagine the amount of backlash they might get considering sites like YouTube and Twitter aren't heavily policing "mean comments". Now I'll just say right now that I have my own skepticism about how many of depression confessional videos on YouTube are just the whiny teenage moodiness I went through, but it's hard to really sort that out. Before you know it, someone you thought was bullshitting just blew their brains out. And it appears social studies correlate with this. In this article, it basically explained that social media use feeds depression as much as it takes away. Social media is used as an outlet by so many people for a variety of reasons. Therefore, as an example, someone who's clinically depressed might be using social media to fill a void. They might go on to Twitter with a cry for help, such as updating their status with "life is a fishbowl" or "teardrops are saltier than SJWs on Donald Trump." In this example case, say some asshat came along and said "why don't you shove that fishbowl up your ass" or "I'll mix those teardrops with my spit at your funeral." That not only fuels the depression on this person, but also entices that person to continue using social media in a self-destructive way. Say they don't or can't follow my advice and take the piss out of such attacks, and they try to defend themselves, only to be singed again and again. They get themselves trapped in this vicious cycle and that makes matters worse for them. If they don't reach out again because of this, they have no crutch, and no one comes to their aid, odds are you end up with a fresh suicide on your hands. This is all hypothetical, but it's not hard to believe something like this would, can, or has happened in the past. We have our fingers on the pulse of this new thing called the internet, and we're all using it in different ways. I use it to write cynical reviews of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic packed with the crude humor and sarcasm me and my friends love to indulge in. I get one together as annually as one's uploaded, and we take turns reading my paragraphs and laughing our asses off. Each time I write an entry for PrymeStriker's Episode Reviews, I hope someone out there finds joy in my offbeat humor, and that I can make someone smile as a result. I also use it to share my music and express myself artistically, hoping that I can get someones attention and take them away from cold harsh reality for just a minute or two. As much as we give to social media for ourselves, we inadvertedly do so much or at least try to do so much for others in the process. I mostly wrote this entry out of obligation, but in the process of creating it, I think I might've come to a rather powerful conclusion through all this. If you could save someone's life through a great joke...........a great song..........a great story, would you? How will you use social media? ....if someone types "PornHub" in the comments section...I swear....I'll high-five you like there's no tomorrow. Sources Worth Reading: http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/depression/social-media-and-depression https://themighty.com/2016/05/what-i-wish-people-knew-about-depression/ https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/
  20. In just about every single episode of FIM, there is one of those moments where somthing happens and there's this big depressive part. I call this, the "vertical drop". Here is my list of the Top 5 "vertical drops of MLP #3 Futtershy crying from "Hurricane Fluttershy" I always get this feeling of compassion whenever someone cries in MLP. Fluttershy was severly humiliated by the other Pegasus and Fluttershy is a very sensitive pony. #2 Twilight grays out from "The Return of Harmony" This one was hard to get through. I almost cried myself. It seemed like then and there is was all over and that Discord had won. I think that the creators of MLP were awesome at making the vertical drops of episodes. and finally #1 The Big Betrayal from "A Canterlot wedding" Honestly, this one tugged at my heart the most. Twilight, the main pony, the one who started it all, has one of the saddest moments in this episode. It was all a misunderstanding but she thought it wrong and sadly paid one of the biggest prices ever. She lost all her friends, her brother, even her loyal mentor Princess Celestia walked off. No one was there for her. It was all her fault. It was a simple misunderstanding that turned into the biggest betrayal in MLP history. What do you think. Are these the top 3 "vertical drops" of MLP: FIM
  21. A quick depressing but beautiful piece I made in Photoshop! "When there is sadness, friends will always be there. But when your friends aren't there, sadness is your only friend." Brony.memes is my Instagram page in case anyone asks about it.
  22. Went through depression then to argument, from that point, everything went down. After finished this PMV, I felt a lot better and really inspired me to keep continue on, no matter what. Don't give up because you never know what's up ahead! Strive for another victory! Dedicated to special somepony and my best friend :'3
  23. It's been 2 months since my last PMV! Now I'm back with another ones called "All In This Together" This music, really inspires me to keep continue on with my life even in any condition. This truly spoke to me in a good way! Check this new PMV out!
  24. Please, don't be afraid to show yourself to other pony else Here's another video of MLP In Real Life
  25. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/148909/sweet-apple-acres-for-sale-by-owner Applejack has tried everything she can think of to turn things around at her family farm, but every month brings disappointing sales and further expenses. She feels the weight of responsibility for the farm and its imminent failure bearing down on her harder every day, and every failed attempt to fix things drives her deeper into depression. Old habits kick in, and friends' searching questions are deflected, sidestepped, and eventually even answered with outright lies. Sweet Apple Acres, the Apple family, and even the Elements of Harmony are all in greater danger than all but one mare knows, or will admit. (This story began as my 2013 Nanowrimo novel, and it took me almost a year to finish revising it to a point I felt comfortable calling it finished. I hope you'll give it a shot and let me know what you think.)
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