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Ask me things. Things about science, maths, the theory of relativity, grammar, quantum physics, fluffy animals, string theory, what life as a puddle of water is like, [insert impressive-sounding scientific theory here], what life as a lump of squishy skin-coated intestines is like, why hugs are like the best thing ever, or literally anything else. Whatever vile and malformed query your twisted mind may concoct, I shall try desperately to answer it. Also, I can tell you nifty archaic insults to use on your worst enemies. I'm pretty good at that. EDIT: Just to disperse any suspiciously plausible rumours of stagnancy in my intellectual development, I now know stuff about infinity too. Plus M-theory, Noether's theorem, Ramanujan's terrifyingly numerous forays into unexplored corners of number theory, and how to classify dirt. Odds are that the dirt you're thinking of is either topsoil (organic clayey SILT, dark brown. Firm, wet, low plasticity) or some normie sub-topsoil dirt (probably something like silty CLAY, orange streaked light grey. Very stiff, moist, low plasticity). Show me vivid turquoise dirt and I'll show you alluvial sandy clay. Make my day, punk.