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Found 16 results

  1. I feel like doing a damn essay. What I Learned from Wisdom Teeth are... that they fucking suck! Oh my god! Remember how shortly after I joined, I said that I would likely just go back into lurking mode? I know I haven't really been around long enough for anyone to miss me or notice that I was gone (more than likely) but I didn't mean to drop off the radar for almost two weeks. I also didn't know that your wisdom teeth, which hadn't given you a problem for years, could suddenly just go batshit crazy and make you want to take a drill to your mouth. temporomandibular joints Go to the ER, refferred to an oral surgeon who is out of town. The guy tells me I have something called temporomandibular joint disorder in addition to just having a small mouth cavity in general. Surgery was required. I was put so far under. It was insane. The room they had me in was painted in a sky scene. The walls were blue but I don't know if the person who painted it did it on purpose or not, I assume so, but there were very subtle shades of blue. Some areas looked darker, some looked lighter, some looked layered. They did the same with the clouds. There was also a red and yellow hot air balloon painted towards the bottom corner of the wall I was facing. They gave me some gas first. The gas alone was what made me notice the shades of blue. Then the "sky" started to look like it was moving. Then the IV drip came... they told me to count backwards slowly from 10 to 1. I got to 7 before I got engrossed by the hot air balloon that was now floating. It seemed like I was staring at it minutes on end but the surgeon said I did count down to 5. My jaw had to be dislocated. I had to have all my wisdom teeth removed and my last molar on each side. Cavities and night grinding. The pain pills they gave me had me knocked out for pretty much an entire week. This week, I'm still on one of them, not on two different ones so this week has been a little better than the last. I'm starting to get used to them at least and I can actually form some decent thoughts and keep them on some semblance of a coherent track.
  2. As I type this, it is 3:40am. I should be sleeping. But I am not. I'm eating Thin Mints between cigarettes. It's a bad habit; never pick it up. Sometimes I wonder why the more dangerous things are perfectly legal and other things that shall not be named are not. The husband (Bryan) and I figured out at our old, old house that smoking inside is horrible. We didn't have kids then, so we were fine with killing our own lungs. The smell still gets stuck in fabrics and white walls end up looking yellow with time. Now we're mostly outside smokers. It's only the beginning of May and already we're in the 90s in the afternoon. It makes for crappy, hot days but it feels wonderful at night. We've been in this place just a little over 8 months. It's easy to keep track of because we moved in exactly two weeks before my newest (Elena) was born.on a 1st of the month. The place is really a shit hole, but we're working on something new every week to make it feel like a home. It's close to the family I like and right down the road from where I spent my high school years. It's out in almost the middle of nowhere. Twelve minutes from real down and about eight minutes from the part of town that you only go to if you have to. It's actually bigger than the place we moved from but the layout makes it seem smaller. But hey, I'll take the front and back deck, an actual yard, the gorgeous garden tub, and extra bedroom that is supposed to be a nursery. I'm idealistic, what can I say? The bassinet ended up staying in our room and the little sneak somehow managed to end up sleeping in our bed with us. A king size bed and Bryan and I both are reduced to about a two-foot space because Ms. Wiggleworm always ends up sideways and splays out like a cat so one of us is getting punched in the ribs and the other is getting kicked in the back. Even though it alternates, I'm usually the one getting kicked. Though, right now she is being adorable and making me realize why I don't mind her in the bed. Her head is resting in the crook of my arm and her little fingers are tangled in my shirt. Never rent from family by the way; it leads to awkward conversations about who is responsible for what. After the first month or so, those conversations fade away because you realize they are doing you a favor. I mean, seriously, two months before Elena was born, our management company changed and rent would go up $100 a month and they were instating a no pet policy. We were scrambling. Apparently, everything you learn as a kid about money is wrong. Who uses cash anymore? It's all about plastic and balance transfers to make it look like you have more money. Buy what you can't afford and carry a balance on that card, but only a little one. And use some complicated mathematical algorithm to figure out the max you really have on each card, because even though you carry a balance, you can only use a portion of the card. It makes you look both responsible and needy at the same time to banks so they'll make your credit score go up. The Thin Mints are gone. Don't worry, it wasn't a whole box. Not even half a sleeve. One hour before alarms start going off. Two hours before I get the oldest (Ariana) up for school. She's freaking out about being tested for O.E. and gifted classes. She's too much like me. If ADHD and anxiety incarnate. Left to her own devices, my second grade (at the time) kid was reading chapter books that my sixth-grader cousin was having trouble with. She might not have known how to pronounce the words right, but context clues gave her the meaning. And if it didn't, who cared? There was always the next sentence. But try to get her to spell out words? Hell, sitting down was the biggest accomplishment. Ask her to tell you what a story about a dog was about and she'd end up talking about birds. And math? I'd rather jump off a cliff. I tried to deny it but I saw the signs since Pre-K. Husband fought against me for getting her tested and seeing what other options there was beside medication. Those helped, but didn't help enough. I got a little less "pills are horrible!" when I had to start taking them for seizures. I'm fine with adults taking mood stabilizers, but kids? I couldn't ever see it... until I did. We tried the smallest dosage of the weakest medicine possible. The day of the math part on one of the bigger standardized tests, I picked her up from school and asked her how did it go and she said it went great. "I could concentrate so much better! I didn't know I had it in me, Mom!" That did it. I mean, I'll admit, I'm a little biased because she's my daughter, but I look at her and see this amazing, intelligent, astoundingly creative ball of endless potential. She is seriously good at anything if she actually puts her mind to it. Like, she's only just turned nine and has like, no less than ten "hobbies" that she excels at. Let's see. There's gymnastic, dance, chorus, gardening, all things fashion (designing, details, sewing), jewelry making, swimming, track, writing, drawing, already learning basic computer coding?!... and I know she's gorgeous. I've turned down about five people who've actually approached me to sponsor her for pageants, have her model custom dresses, photography ads. I want her to know she's beautiful but I don't want to put a crazy amount of emphasis on it. So I let her do one, maybe two, things every couple of years. The dress modeling was her favorite because she got to keep them. And I liked the lady even more because she was a small time designer so she actually let Ariana design her own once and helped her make it. But yeah, anyways... all of that and she tells me she didn't know she had it in her to do well on a math test, or felt like she did well when it was a skill she used all the time without realizing it. I guess it is different if the math is incorporated into something you want to do versus having to do it in school. But we'll go through the standard morning routine whenever important tests come up. I get up early, or in this case, just stay up all night to make her two eggs, lightly scrambled with milk and cheese in the eggs, two slices of bacon, and two waffles that she will later fashion into a peanut butter and honey sandwich. I'll try to sneak in a random review, which she will call me on and complain about, then go into meltdown mode until I start to get frustrated and tell her to go to her room to calm down. She'll come out dressed and ask me to do her hair. She'll apologize for freaking out. I'll accept her apology and tell her I understand for one because I went through it, and second because we do this same dance every time. She'll ask me "Really?" and I say yes and go back to something she said or did at a previous time, or point out what was on tv when she fussed about going to her room. She'll remember. We'll get in the car and I'll drop her off, wish her well and she'll say thank you and want extra hugs and kisses for good luck. I'm on the "Awesome Mom" level of the Soccer Mom type circut, so she doesn't care if people see really though she may grumble about it a little and THEN whisper her quite "love you too" as she walks off. So now it is 4:53. I've gone out to smoke twice. That's why this may seem all disjointed and rambling. I'm going to try to cat nap before the alarm. Today I'll actually get a character or two up... maybe one of the stories from Tall Tales. I'll need to find someone to do a cutie mark for Anaphora. The Twilight Sparkle of Tall Tales, who will not be acsending to an alicorn, just discovering the nature of Equestria with her weird special talent that I'm not even sure what it is really. She's Ariana's character really. I just put the world together.
  3. HELLO absolutely no one. Well, I guess I've gotta start somewhere. First blog post.. Nice. Well, lets get some stuff out there. FANFICTIONS. Sweet Luna I love them. Good fanfictions can be incredible. 1.7 million words of Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons, and I regret nothing. (except crying like a foal) Sad stories are my favorite, honestly. No idea why.. I just like to feel how the characters in the story feel. Well, that's it for this post. Lets see if I'm doing it right. Ciao for now my dudes
  4. Well, today is my bronyversery. Three years ago today, I first checked out the show and fell in love with it. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. It's been a long three years but I'm still in love with the show and it won't be stopping any time soon. Well that was a short blog about it. Might as well ramble. You know my lovely girlfriend here PinkiPoni? Well, I'm kind of worried about her. She hasn't logged on since the 9th and our in our last conversation, she was pretty depressed. I tried to comfort her, show her that people did care for her, but she was still sad. And she hasn't been on in over a week so I'm sometimes worried I'll never talk to her again. I do hope she comes back some day.
  5. Well, I'm pretty drunk. To my dad's shame I enjoy the brand Jack Daniels. We're Scottish, and as a people we look down on American drinks. JD and some rums are the only ones I like from the States. I hate American beers, but I also hate the couple of Indian beers I've tried (I do love ale though). But as drunk as I am (I believe I've had seven drams, 4cl of JD with cheap store coke), I'm no a staggering drunk who slurs every word. Unless I'm downing the hard stuff and doing it quickly (only with friends on the rare night out) I can appear sober. It's a gift. Why do I do it? I feel pleasant. It's a warm and relaxing feeling that tends to both calm me, and give me a clarity & focus that I just don't have when I'm sober. This is why I'm writing now. Don't get me wrong, no force in heaven or earth could get me to drive right now or even most of tomorrow. I know that I feel great, but I am still aware that there is a lot of stuff I cannot do right now. I used to avoid Facebook completely when drinking. Now my friends and family love my little stories. I guess the point I'm making is drinking often gets labelled only as a bad thing. Yes, it can be a bad thing and it has destroyed countless lives. But not for everyone. I don't drink as a crutch for example. I don't drink because I "need" to or just because. I drink because I enjoy the feeling and it does feel quite refined to me. I seriously need a smoking room. But ah, I guess I was lying when I said I had a point. I'm drunk and just wanted to write. I don't write with any plan and I really surprise myself with where I'm going. But assuming I didn't make it clear, does this seem like the ramblings of someone who is utterly plastered? I toast my next drink to you my friends!
  6. It is done! I bring you my Ramblings on the genetics of Ponies with speculation on the origins of Alicorns. This was inspired by the “Is it possible to have alicorn offspring for non-alicorns?” thread. As seen in Baby Cakes (S2, EP13), it is possible for a pony couple to give birth to ponies of a different tribe. However, as seen is various episodes, whether or not this happens is not completely random, as Pinkie’s Family are all earth ponies and Rarity’s are all unicorns fr example. However, as it has been shown that the tribes can interbreed, they are not separate species as such, more along the lines of breeds, but as you do not see a half unicorn/pegasus for example, that does not quite work, (hence my use of tribes). My theory is that within the genetic code of each pony is a gene, or set of genes, that reconfigures other parts of the genetic code for each tribe, which would usually be the same as the parents. Having ancestors of a different tribe must also be carried down in the genetic code, or be a rare random mutation, not enough data to go on here. I suspect there could be a mixture of both. However, we must also include magic in any theory. It is evident that magic is built into each pony, for example, just having wings would in no way allow a pegasus to walk on clouds. This built in magic is also shown in Cutie Marks. This magic could allow any pony who reaches a certain, rare, mental state of enlightenment to undergo a transformation into an Alicorn. On the Origin of Alicorns. Did anyone else notice the flag at the end of Hearth’s Warming Eve (S2 EP11) had what appeared to be Celestia and Luna on it? And yet the pair are not mentioned at all, seeing as if they were there they would have helped against the Windigos. Thus, I do not think they were around before the Fire of Friendship was created, but they must have been around afterwards. I think either they were created by the Fire of Friendship, or transformed by it (Elements of Harmony created at same time??). Either way, they did not start their rule straight away, as Discord was around first (Possibility of Windigos caused by Discord??) Thank you for reading this. Thoughts? (and yes I know I haven't followed up all topics fully. These are just ramblings)
  7. So! As you all know, to most of general society, bronies are weird as all hell! Though one question surges through my brain as I type. What makes us weird? A simple question to answer, right? That may be true, but there's another thing I've realized that kind of goes along with this little rant I'm currently conducting. What makes us normal? Answer: NOTHING! Normality is a concept, not an attribute! So what makes bronies stand out in this weird cycle? Answer: I have no clue. So, with that, Ramble With Me!
  8. Smarts

    My place here

    Well, this semester is coming to an end and I will be starting my third next month. The weather is perfect and it all seems good as of right now. That's not why I made this blog though. So, let's skip right to the meat and potatoes of the matter. I am here to talk about something. It has bothered me for a little while and I feel the need to get it off my chest. Just about everyone here has a talent or something great about them. Whether it be art, storytelling, or just plain likability. They are interesting, hang out with their friends, and have something to contribute to this place. The reason I am saying this is because of one thing. I feel as though I contribute nothing to this place. I can't draw, I can't design art or anything remotely good, RPing with other people is a scary thought, I don't go to cons, and I am too scared to share stuff I write with others. It bugs me to think that the only thing I contribute here is nothing. All I seem to do is annoy people and lose friends. Maybe I'm just rambling. Maybe I do contribute something here without even knowing it. I don't know anymore.
  9. Today I found a small tub of pink Play-Doh. I used it to make a small pony and put it on my desk at work. It was worth a few laughs from my boss and coworkers until… One coworker mentioned Bronies and then explained, briefly, the fandom to my boss. After hearing the fruits of that conversation, I am very glad that no one here knows that I’m a Brony. I often wish I could be more open about this sort of thing in my life. I suppose that I should be thankful that my friends and family are accepting of it. Although, truth be told, I don’t think my parents really grasp the concept. Either way, thankful. Still. It would be nice to be able to have say, a Rainbow Dash toy, sitting on my desk to cheer up my day. Or to wear a Pinkie Pie shirt in the office once in a while. I want to believe that I could show off my art to my coworkers and not be met with scorn. But, I know what would happen if I tried. Eh, I’m not even sure where I was going with this… just rambling I suppose. I just feel sad that there is this thing in my life that means so much to me, that the people around me don’t understand and won’t accept. Ah well, next time I’ll make a cat, I guess.
  10. So I haven't been a part of this fandom for very long, I'll the the first one to admit it. Only since mid-last month have I been watching the show, however, just like most of my fine fellow-ponies I have grown immensely attached to the characters. So, this last Sunday when I watched the finale of Season 3, it definitely came as a shock. That was before I had delved into the Brony community online (was afraid of spoilers) so I had no pre-warning to the whole 'Alicorn Twilight' thing. While, after a lot of thought and contemplation I have decided that I like the decision to make Twilight an Alicorn Princess, there was also an emotional effect to the whole deal, which is what I wanted to talk about in this topic. First off the finale was a great positive, because it demonstrated the rewards for moral diligence. This I appreciated. I mean, what other famous media-princess do you know that EARNED her position? This is possibly the best princess role model I could ever think of for my potential daughter. That is primarily why I like the Alicorn decision. Was it too soon? ...maybe. I guess we'll just have to see. However, at the end of the finale, from the point when she grew her wings, I began to feel a sinking feeling in my stomach. I couldn't explain why at the time, because my brain was telling me "This is so awesome!" but my heart was obviously not liking it. Thus my lapse into contemplating the ramifications of this decision. The first and foremost big issue here, and the one which I hope that this thread will lead to discuss the most, is that Twilight has obviously changed. Grown. In a major way. This isn't like learning a new lesson, or even coming to terms with a new truth, this is possibly the biggest change the show has ever pulled on us. But it isn't as much the change itself that nagged on me, as it was that it was just Twilight. Twilight had grown, but the other Mane 5 had not. They were still the same. I hoped that Equestria Girls would have explained that a bit, but it didn't really. Which leads to my biggest concern about the upcoming season: how can the other mane 5 ponies keep up with Twilight? The show has shown us again and again the responsibilities of the princesses, such as Celestia and Candice (even Luna, a bit), so how will Twilight be able to keep balance in her new life? The other thing is more surface-level. Twilight has also grown physically, i.e. the wings. Now, friends won't think any differently of friends because of appearance, but now that she's an Alicorn I see her as separate from the others in my mind. That common ground of them all being normal ponies (despite their species, of course) isn't there any more. And how will that affect our future perception of the characters? I hope that this topic isn't reiterating too much of what has been said in previous topics. I'm mostly interested in seeing how Twilight's transformation has affected you on an emotional level, consciously or subconsciously, and I'm very interested to see everypony's thoughts on the matter.
  11. Preface Words, it seems, are a poor medium for expressing the roots of suffering. The tears I've shed tonight map my journey with far greater clarity then I will ever dictate. Yet, I want... I need... Precis of Pain I am a troubled man. (( Strike now, that shadowed cast, that fretful simulacrum; )) The events of my life have conspired to... no. No ascribing blame. I did this to myself. That only makes it worse, really. I have evolved into a mass of contradictions; slowly becoming exactly the kind of person I grew to hate: static, biased, petty, afraid. Unwilling to learn. Unwilling to love. Unwilling to live. (( Burnt upon the path by the hushed glow of the distant moon. )) I've carried this burden for so long. I find that even as I set the stone aside my back remains bent, my muscles tearing with the memory of the weight. As I change, as I undo the damage I inflicted upon myself so long ago, I find myself seeking a new stone to take up. I range within, seeking new faults to devour. (( Render the twisted conceit anew with each labored step. )) I no longer know my path. I no longer know my destination. I only know that to remain as I was is death. (( Song of Night, the gentle embrace, weaver of peace )) I will go forward of course. It makes sense, I suppose. Needs must I have all my options stripped from me to clearly see what should have been obvious all along. My light is gone. I must stretch anew; growing toward the sun. (( Whispers: "stand, in defiance of all, with joy in your heart." )) Time will, as it always does. I must hence, whether I will or no. Now, at least, I can shed this weight and walk unburdened into the fading light. (( "For Day shines bright, child of man, and you are not yet done." )) I am a troubled man, but I am healing, and I am not yet done.
  12. Preface: As I think through how to begin on this topic, I am repeatedly struck by the thought: "well, duh!" (In Pinkie Pie's voice, as a matter of fact.) I find it so strange that lessons I've learned as a child are becoming relevant again at this stage of my life. The simplest of teachings has come back to me and, to my surprise and eventual chagrin, become my salvation. Self Loathing: In my continuing quest to grow beyond my faults - to become the pony I think I should be, the pony I need to be - I've found in necessary to revisit many of the most basic assumptions that make up my self. During the transition from child to adult - the dread teenage years - strange notions were imprinted upon me. Many of which I am discovering are bunk. This learning as a teenager, for me, was largely conducted as an exercise between peers and my contemporaries, it seems, were idiots; but then, so was I - and the past tense of that statement is debatable. The colts of my generation were taught to be takers. It was never right to give. It was never right to share. It was never right to be courteous or respectful or kind. It was never right to love. Everything - so I was taught - must be approached as a contest. There are only the victorious and the defeated. Never was I and never will I be a taker. Never. But I thought... I believed that that was what I must be. And so I festered. Trying to be one thing but made of the opposite. I've spent half my life fighting against my own better nature with no real understanding of why. Trying in some twisted way to be strong by giving nothing back - by keeping it all within... This is not the substance of my strength. Mine is a strength born of love. Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned: The truth of self. A lesson that I had heard many times as a child. One that I wish I had understood much sooner. That one, simple, wonderful thought can make all the difference: be true to who you are.
  13. Could Fluttershy stand to be a little less kind? I'd lie to have a little ramble on that line I know this sound like a silly question, 'Of course not' you cry 'No such think as too much kindness' you say. But are we so sure that its entirely healthy for both body and mind? We've seen examples where her kind attitude has seen her through hard times; reforming Discord, taming the Manticore and Harry the Bear to name but a few. Numerous and effective these points may be, but they fail to convey the failures that her overly kind attitude has caused. 'A Bird in the hoof' episode shows her kindness leading her to criminal activity, In 'Putting your Hoof down' we can see that her kind attitude forces her to overreact when it slips, turning her from friend to shut in over the course of a single day. And the you must consider her animals. She must mean well, but budgets must be tight at her animal-shelter cottage, with dozens (if nt hundreds) of pets, animal aquaintances and friends visiting nigh on constantly. Where she gets the bits to support herself has never been shown (though I'd assume Fluttershy would never go hungry, what with her animal friends to help her forage.) One particular animal, the infamous angel bunny, has shown clear signs of aggressive beaviour, brought on by his keepers incessant coddling. Indeed, the most recent episode shows that all of Fluttershy's animals are capable of serious aggression when she leaves, the various critters all prepared (After less than a day's abscence) to attack and subdue Rainbow Dash, with designs on her delicious flesh. hmm.... Delicious Pony Steak *Drool* Sorry... Sorry.. Hydra instincts. In any case, Fluttershy's kind attitude has repeatedly gotten the poor dear in trouble, with her shy nature and pacifism showing through as meek acceptance. That said, she has been been improving, standing up to even a god of chaos in defence of her friends. Thank you for reading another of my random rambles. This one has been written while drunk, so I apologize in advance for any spelling and/or grammar issues.
  14. Dear Princess Celestia... Friendship means something different to different people. Some people may need to have many friends to feel fulfilled, whereas introverts like me can be satisfied with only one or two true friends. But if there is one detail that transcends them all, is that friends are there for each other. Everyone has something to offer, whether it be as big as financial support or even simple companionship. Friends are companions, they support you, they help you, they entertain you, they give you advice, money, direction, camradarie, or even something to do to pass the time on a boring day. Friends may be as loose as fellow people who share a similar interest, or it may be as strong as a true companion who's as intimate as your own kin. But friends always have something to offer. It is not one-sided. If they had nothing to gain, why would they have put the effort to befriend you in the first place? That alone is proof you have something to offer. Doubly so if you are an introvert, who tend to forge much stronger and more intimate (sexual, romantic, and platonic) relationships with what few friends they have than the average person. If said friend is an introvert, than you may mean more to them than you realize. And that is something to be proud of, not weirded out by. Human beings, as flawed and violent as we are, are ultimately designed to want to be needed. Psychiatry and sociology proves it. But I won't get into that now. My point being, friends are there because they have something to offer you, and are friends with you because you have something to offer them. Otherwise, you wouldn't have become friends to begin with. You have something to offer them, even if it's something as simple and innocent as being their friend. When life is difficult and things look bleak, remember everyone who stood with you. Especially your true companions who've stuck with you through time, through thick and thin, and through the comfort and painn. And always remember how much you must mean to them. Your faithful subject, Jadefire Tl;dr: Never abandon your friends. They may need your companionship as much as you need theirs.
  15. With the world at my back and wind in my bones, I ride, never to look back at the beaten byway beneath my being. I am broken in both body and brain, yet as I take breath, I too take reverence for the actualities of amity. Conceivably, I may one day convene such company, but I fear such falsehoods fit only fabrication, and even now I escape existence and elope with allegory. Know this --- such stories hold no substance, no pertinence to purpose. Steer clear of this crossroad if you cherish your chances.
  16. My very first entry! Hurray! Well, there's quite a bit I want to type about, and since I currently don't have a dedicated external blog at the moment, this'll do just fine! I'm gonna be talking about a whole mess of things in this here blog. From A to Z. Anything and everything. You get the picture! Anyway, yeah. At some point or another you may have heard me saying that I'm working on a digital graphic novel called "Master of the Horse". If you haven't heard of this before, now you have! Hurray ! This particular comic will take place within the MLP:FiM universe, but feature original characters and settings! I've got the first chapter sketched out in my head, and I am in the process of putting my ideas on the 'ol endless canvas. I suppose a little explanation of the story's history and plot would be cool, huh? Okay, here it is: With that all said, Ignatius summons his champion and the supreme commander of his fleet, a valiant pegasus named Jet Pulse. The first book will follow Jet and his duties in leading his King's forces to war against the Griffons. Here are some sketches of Jet Pulse! And here's King Ignatius: There's more to come, I assure you. 'Til then, stay flamin'!