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Hearth's Warming Helper

Found 13 results

  1. C. Thunder Dash

    Newbie Dash: Rewritten

    That day had came. That day had finally came, when Rainbow Dash would take her first flight with the Wonderbolts. This was it. She was about to start living her dream. She had waited all those years, trained all those months and studied all those weeks...for this, the first step in her dream to become the best Wonderbolt there was. Rainbow woke up with a jolt and a squeal, chomping down her breakfast and zipping toward the Wonderbolt HQ. There, Spitfire greeted her in her usual serious manner. It was hard for Rainbow to contain her excitement, but she managed to, despite Spitfire's warning about following the guidelines and staying in the group. Once in the air, it was a mental fight. Rainbow wanted to show her stuff, but knew she would get in trouble if she did. Due to this inner fight, it was very difficult for her to follow cue. "Swing right!" Spitfire yelled. Rainbow swung right but too hard clipping Fleetfoot and almost sending her into a spin. Spitfire glared at Rainbow. Rainbow frowned. When it came to synchronized inversions, Rainbow though she could sneak something extra in, but ended up bumping Soarin' and he almost lost control. "Get it together!" Spitfire barked at Rainbow. This was not going well for Rainbow, as her attempt at wanting to just be herself was failing. The last straw was pulled when she tried a synchronized maneuver, got caught in a loose wind and crashed on the ground. Everyone else landed smoothly. The audience was awestruck. It was dead silent. Most eyes were on Rainbow, and others are on the other Wonderbolts. Spitfire stomped over to the still down Rainbow, huffing out of her nostrils angrily. "Now...explain yourself...Rainbow...Crash." She hissed staring deep into Rainbow's magenta eyes. At that moment, when Spitfire, Rainbow's role model, her leader called her that name, yes, that name that always brought her down in flight school, she felt the sadness, shame and those memories of being taunted and bullied all gang up on her at once. She certainly didn't want to cry in front of Spitfire, which would make things 100x worse. She just looked at Spitfire then to the ground, knowing she did not want to expose herself. She couldn't take it and just flew off to the locker room. There, she was the only one there, and let a few tears escape. She tried to quickly dry them but missed a few areas. Some stains still remained along her eyes. Just then, trotting could be heard. Rainbow gasped and rushed to try to act as normal as she could. Spitfire was the first to come through the doors. Spitfire looked at Rainbow, seeing the tear stains on her eyes. Spitfire approached Rainbow with a look of anger. "Were you crying?!" She barked. "No ma'am...j-just excessive sweat ma'am..." Rainbow lied. Spitfire growled and walked off. Rainbow let out a quiet sigh of relief. Just then, Soarin' came in but not with his usual smile. "Look, Spitfire calls me Clipper. So what? Big deal. I can take it and so can you. Now suck it up!" He barked. This certainly didn't help at all. Rainbow thought of yelling back at Soarin' but that wouldn't help. "Says you..." She murmured. Soarin happened to hear this. He zipped right in front of Rainbow. "You back talkin'? He asked sternly. "N-no sir..." Rainbow managed to say. "Good, now get it together Crash!" Soarin barked. Rainbow winced yet again. Meanwhile, Spitfire was organizing her stuff and preparing for the next flight routine for later that day. Suddenly there was a knock. "Come in." She said with a serious tone. Soarin' trotted in. "Oh, hey there Soarin', what brings you here?" She asked. "Well...ever since you called Rainbow that name, Rainbow Crash, she's been acting very strange. I just can't get it into her head she needs to just suck it up and deal with it." Soarin' said. "Yeah well that's just her stubbornness, she just can't seem to let it go, oh well, that's her problem, but she'd better deal with it soon or else we're gonna have some major issues." Spitfire said. Soarin just sighed sadly. Rainbow was pacing back and forth trying desperately to forget all that had happened. She growled. "If only Spitfire hadn't called me that I wouldn't be like this, and if only they'd understand...but...oh forget it...it's just not worth it..." Rainbow said lying in her bed and curling up. Rainbow thought of Twilight. "If they don't understand...then Twilight may..." Rainbow proclaimed making sure not to fly off base with her Wonderbolt suit on. She flew all the way to Twilight's castle. "So uhh, how has your first day as a Wonderbolt been?" Twilight asked. Rainbow sighed. "The worst ever..." She pouted. "What?! Why?" Twilight asked stunned knowing it was Rainbow's dream. Rainbow took a deep breath. "I...tried so hard to stay in the group for our first flight but...let myself go and ruined the entire routine. Spitfire then calls me that despicable name I earned in flight school and then both Spitfire and Soarin' say to suck it up and deal with it. I can't deal with it. It was the hardest thing I had to live with as a filly, and now thanks to those two...I have to go through it again." Rainbow ranted. "Oh dear..." Twilight said. "Hold on...you remember helping Fluttershy overcome her past?" Twilight asked. "Well, you and her are totally in the same boat here, not physically speaking...see, overcoming the past and speaking up it helped Fluttershy. I understand this is your first day with the Wonderbolts. I know it can be intimidating, but because some ponies haven't lived it, they don't understand. Even if you are afraid, try, speak up and let them know that that name they call you is tied with your past, which you struggle with. Make them see the impact that name has on you." Twilight explained. "Are you sure...? Rainbow asked. "I'm the Princess of friendship after all..." Twilight stated. "Ok, I'll take your word for it...I-I gotta get back now, they're probably worried about me..." Rainbow stated as she headed out of Twilight's castle. Where is Rainbow?" Spitfire asked now aggravated. The door suddenly swung open. "Right here ma'am." Rainbow stated standing tall and proud. "It's about time you showed up Crash." Spitfire said. This time, Rainbow wasn't phased. Instead she took a deep breath. "It's Dash. You know, you might think that this thing you're doing is some sort of motivational thing, but really, it is tearing me up inside. That name has been around ever since flight camp. Step into my shoes and see what it was like to be bullied and teased all because you make mistakes and crash more than others because you just wanna show your stuff. Everypony has something they have to face. For some, it takes longer, but always shoving it into their face saying to suck it up and deal with it is just...just wrong. It hurts them even more, because the past shapes us all, yes, even the parts we hate...and using against whether for tradition or for your own gain...isn't gonna fly in my book." Rainbow proclaimed standing tall. Spitfire just looked at Rainbow awestruck. She thought all that time, was trying to make Rainbow what she wanted out of her. "I..." she started but stopped. Rainbow calmed down and waited. "I...I'm so sorry..." Spitfire said, ashamed of what she had done all that time. "All that time...I thought I was helping you to grow stronger. I ignored the fact that that nickname hurt you in the past...I should've known...you lied to me in the locker room because you wanted to hide your feelings about that name...all because of my...ignorance. Now I understand. The past shapes us all and we cannot let our needs get in the way of the past struggles of others. Now I see the fight you had to fight upthere. You've always wanted to stand out individually and now struggle to work together to fit in to a team to stand out together. You are who you are and nothing can change that. Now I regret treating you the way I did..." Spitfire said sort of putting her head down. Rainbow had a smile on her face. "I forgive you no matter what. Because hey, we're not perfect but we can strive to be the best we can, no matter how many times we crash or fail." Rainbow said confidently. "We seriously owe you one Rainbow..." Soarin' said. "Wow...from the Wonderbolt Academy, to Rainbow Falls, and then now..." Spitfire said remembering all the lessons she has learned from Rainbow. "That's it...this next flight for today...you lead it Rainbow. Because in all honesty, you've been an example to me, and now after the way we've treated you, we wanna give it back." Spitfire said. Rainbow was squealing on the inside. This was her ultimate chance, to show that no matter where you came from or how many times you crashed and fell, you are who you are. "Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!!!!" Rainbow flipped out. Spitfire and Soarin just looked at her with a smile. Spitfire then lookedat the time. "Well would you look at that. One minute 'til it begins. Places everypony!" Spitfire blared. This was it. Rainbow took front and center with Spitfire, Soarin and Fleetfoot alongside. "It's all yours Rainbow Dash." Spitfire said to Rainbow. Rainbow licked her chops and took off into the air followed by the others, leading them in various tricks and finishing with an amazing quad storm combo. I wrote this rewrite for a contest on Equestria Amino. Haven't gotten the results yet but I'd like some feedback.
  2. Ruudo Burei

    Fanfic -> "Rewrite"

    I've uploaded both the Preface and Entry #1 today. The Preface should explain what I'm doing...kind of...So, I recommend reading that first. I hope my format isn't too confusing, ^^; I don't mind if you comment or give constructive criticism in either DeviantArt, FaceBook, or here...although I'm not sure how much criticism can be made for an introductory..."chapter". I suppose my writing format or something can be criticized. If I get around with trying to draw, then I can show you what the appearing OC/s look/s like. I hope ya'll can enjoy the first couples of entries that aren't rewrites just yet but are an introduction to the OC I'll be using. Eventually, I'll hit episode 3 and switch perspectives and such between him and the actual focal character(s) of the episode; but, for now, introduction/"back-story" for three "chapters"/"episodes". DeviantArt: http://shin-ak1ra-sama.deviantart.com/gallery/60214046/MLP-FiM-Rewrite FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/877549315713402/files/ Oh, right. I made a FaceBook version, because my friend wasn't able to view it in DeviantArt, for some reason. So, that's a thing, I guess...
  3. Okay, so Batman V Superman sucked, I hated it with a fiery passion for the flanderization of characters to the mind boggling fever dreams that peppered the run time. How would I have done it though? Especially with the limitations of having to establish an entire cinematic universe that have meta humans that all need their backstories worked into it. It also has to work off of what Man Of Steel did. Number 1: Make the movies focus about the fight between Batman and superman, and make that conflict come from ideological differences. -Batman (the real one, not the one in this movie) does not kill. Its his one rule, one he follows almost to a fault. Superman causing the deaths of thousands while wearing the branding of a Hero would be MORE than enough reason for Bruce Wayne to want to take him down a peg. In the original version he's basically no better than "Alex Luthor", and probably kills just as many people as Luthor does in the course of that movie. Number 2: Batman and Lex should of been partners. Lex Luthor should of approached Bruce Wayne and said he knew his secret identity, and he should of used that as an opportunity to try to get him on his side to fight Superman, who again, has killed thousands of people as of the last movie. Lex should of been the one telling Bruce "If there is even a 1 percent chance that he is our enemy, then we should take it as an absolute certainty." During the course of their partnership, Bruce struggles with his morals and the real threat that Superman poses. Lex would be the snake in the grass, feeding him everything he needs to come to the conclusion that killing superman is the only answer, while Alfred would be the angel on Batman's other shoulder, trying to dissuade him from following Lex's "easy path." Number 3: Retool Lex into the suave silver tongued businessman we know him as. He is not a fighter, but a tactical individual whom tries to get the fight between Bats and superman to happen. He would pull on Bruce's heartstrings, using everything from his parent's death to the lives of his employees and Robin that he lost. Let Lex paint the worst picture of Superman in Batman's mind that he can, exploiting every doubt in the Crusader he possibly can read out of him. Number 4: Have Lex show Bruce Wayne the other Meta humans. He will tell the caped crusader that Superman is only the start, that there are other meta humans crawling around in the shadows just waiting to come out and strike. This would allow them to be introduced organically into the story and it would lead into their partnership. Have him talk about how the Joker killed his partner, and imagine for a moment if someone like the Joker had powers like Superman. What exactly would he do in such a situation without a proper contingency plan? "Treating these meta humans with kid gloves like your standard criminal would be dangerous to all of humanity" Lex would say to Bruce, and evidence of such is proven with Superman's actions. Number 5: Have Batman reluctant to work with Lex at first, but grow closer to his alluring message as the actions of Superman and their one confrontation (the "do you bleed" part) ends up making him succumb to Lex's message and cuts off contact with Alfred as he does it, symbolizing him giving over to the darker side of himself that he vowed to never cross. Number 6: Have Wonder Woman be another voice of reason for Batman against Lex. If she must be in the movie and must be there to fight, Have her be on the Man of Steel's side, confronting Bruce for working with Lex. She knows what Lex is really like, and she thinks Batman is probably of the same ilk at this point. Number 7: Have Lex and Bruce work together to make his armor and weapons to fight Superman and Wonder Woman. Their combined resources and intelligence would be able to make an arena of traps worthy enough to fight the proverbial god and goddess two on one. Have them go over every contingency, even while Lex works on his own plans should Batman turn on him. Have Batman suspect such actions out of the crafty devil, but not enough to break ties with the man. Number 8: Have Alfred work to try to bring Batman back to his roots once again, even going so far as to talking with Wonder Woman and telling her that this Lex is manipulating him. Have him finally be able to talk some sense into Batman, and then Lex proceeds to double cross him and go on with his contingency plan if his "knight" fails him, including sabotaging the armor and weapons he made for Bruce, turning them on him so he has to use his wit to get out of the situation. Number 9: Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman whom would then be reunited with Alfred's help and gadgetry take on the traps and contraptions that Lex has cleverly set up, including a remote controlled machine that could work in the place of Doomsday that has been especially designed to take on the three of them and win. Through their teamwork they are able to defeat Lex, but they are unable to prove that he did any of it without it also tracing back to Bruce Wayne, effectively making him immune to retribution without ousting all of their secret identities and putting their families in grave danger. Even as they win the battle, they only really maneuvered into a stalemate with Lex. Number 10: Have the reason they will go and find the other meta humans now be because Lex is a serious danger to them, and none of them can really touch the man unless they go outside of their own moral codes. Lex meanwhile is using the alien tech and knowledge in his possession to contact the Darkseid, simply saying "I have a proposition for you..." His goal, to eradicate all threats he sees against humanity, even if it means playing his dangerous games with the gods and challenging them into the war that ends all wars. He thinks he can maneuver and out think them all, but he may be getting over his head with the warlord from the other world. These points would be the foundation I would write my script on. It would result in the same tie ins that this movie did, and it wouldn't require the bastardization of characters like this one seemed to have.
  4. I had an idea where Vinyl Scratch was only being a DJ because it got her good money, and secretly she really liked 80's rock music. It sounds stupid, but follow me on this. My first attempt was stupid. It went absolutely nowhere and it made Vinyl look like a... I can't describe it. It's bad. My second attempt didn't go very far because FIMFiction is stubborn and I can't really use Google Docs because [CLASSIFIED]. I want some ideas on how to take a headcanon and warping it into something new. Thanks.
  5. Hi everyone! I rewrote the lyrics to an orchestral song a while back, and I would like some advice on how to move forward. The song is about Luna's role as a dream mentor and is inspired by the episode Sleepless in Ponyville. Here's the original song (please skip to 0:37). It's from an old Pokemon movie, but the song itself has nothing to do with Pokemon. It's quite different from most songs these days, although maybe that's a good thing? The part that I'll be using lasts from 0:37 to 2:16. And here's a nice instrumental version of the song. I'll probably use this as a baseline and rework it to better suit the rewritten lyrics. Here are the original lyrics, followed by the rewritten ones. (The melodies are more or less the same.) --- Original --- When daytime turns to night When the moon shines bright When you're tucked in tight And everything's alright Slip softly to that place Where secret thoughts run free There come face to face With who you want to be, so Swim across the ocean blue Fly a rocket to the moon You can change your life Or you can change the world Take a chance, don't be afraid Life is yours to live Take a chance And then the best is yet to come~ Make a wish! It's up to you Find the strength inside, and watch your dreams come true You don't need a shooting star The magic's right there in your heart Close your eyes, believe, and make a wish... --- Rewritten, sung by Luna --- When darkness takes the light When the day turns to night When your fears take flight And nothing is alright Slip softly to that place Where secret thoughts run free There come face to face With your greatest fear and misery And take a stand, don't hide away For if you do it's here to stay Learn to face your fears But don't you be afraid For I'll be there, to guide the way For you to see the light of day Face your fears Until the darkness disappears~ Dream away! I'll be there soon Find the calm inside, and gaze up to the moon I'll come down to guide the way For you to see the light of day So close your eyes, and sleep, and dream away... Unfortunately, I'm new to audio editing and music production in general, so I would like some advice on what steps I should take next, like what software would be ideal for composing and editing an orchestral song. Oh, and I'll also need a singer for Luna. The community here seems really friendly, so I look forward to getting to know more about the music side of the fandom, and also about how music production works here. If everything works out, this will be my first song ever released, so I'm willing to put as much effort into it as possible. (I'll also have the time for that.) Also, here's a tentative introduction to the song. Is it too verbose? Feel free to comment on it. As the reformed Luna adjusts back to her role in Equestria, the struggles of the past return to haunt her present. For while the ponies of Equestria thrive under her sister's guiding light, still nopony seeks her help in the lonely night. How can she live up to her role as the ruler of the night, if nopony is there to seek her guidance? But fortunately, there is a way: for while the ponies might sleep at night, they remain troubled in another world, another place. And it shall be her duty, as ruler of the night, to guide them through... Thanks for reading!
  6. Dark Qiviut

    Rewriting Episodes Your Way

    My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is a series known for its great characters and ways conflicts are handled. Each episode, a conflict is used to create tension in the story, and it's up to the characters to resolve them. Most of the episodes execute these conflicts in a well-written and plausible fashion, but like all series, some of them have a tendency to be average or suck. Therefore, ideas of drafting a rewrite are displayed in order to take the basic structure of the aired episode and improve it their way. So, the question is how would YOU rewrite the episodes? Name the aforementioned episode(s) by title and weave it your way. Do NOT rewrite specific scenes within the episodes. Rewrite the whole episode from scratch. And it doesn't have to be one concept. You can release multiple episodic concepts of one episode if you wish to. For consistency, I will like you to lay out your episode rewrite concepts via this template: Prologue (the first few minutes of the episode before the intro) Act 1 (the episode between the first and second rounds of commercials) Act 2 (the episode between the second and third rounds of commercials) Act 3 (the episode between the third round of commercials and ending credits) If your idea consists of it being a two-parter (or more), label them as "Part 1," "Part 2," and so on before typing out the concept. For demonstration, I'll give you my idea of a rewrite of Magical Mystery Cure. Instead of it being self-contained, it'll be two parts. Part 1: Prologue: Celestia and Luna discuss Star Swirl the Bearded's book, and they flip through to seeing an incomplete last page. Celestia told Luna that, if Twilight can complete it, she'll be rewarded to the next level of her studies. Luna asks her about what happens if Twilight writes the spell wrong, but Celestia reassures her that she'll be fine. Act 1: Twilight and the rest of the Mane Six discuss the adventures they had together and how much they grown since being conjoined by the Elements of Harmony. Following a quip about how happy Ponyville looks and is, "Life in Ponyville" commences (only without an interruption of Rarity accidentally dumping rainwater on top of her). When they're done, the Mane Six laugh. Suddenly, Spike burps, and a letter plus Star Swirl's book appear before her. Everyone oohs, especially Twilight, who was responsible for finishing the spell. Everyone wonders how to finish it, but one asks who Star Swirl the Bearded is. Twilight Sparkle explains who he is and his legend. Some of the spells (like the aging spell Trixie cast on Snips and Snails from their duel) came from him. He was one of her idols when she was a filly, and it was his greatness as to why she yearns to be the best magician alive today. If she could finish the spell, she evolves to a new level of her studies. Act 2: Twilight returns home and begins researching Star Swirled and reads his book of spells, starting from the small ones to the aging spell. Then she came across the incomplete spell again. Forgetting that the Elements of Harmony were behind her, she began to chant the spell, but nothing happened. So she changed it by completing it, not knowing that the Elements of Harmony altered in color (all but her). Next morning, she hums Life in Ponyville again, only to have water dumped on her. Rarity's cutie mark was Rainbow Dash's lightning bolt. Twilight asked what happened, but Rarity doesn't remember anything prior. Cue "What My Cutie Mark Is Telling Me." Act 3: Twilight panics and tries to convince her friends to remember what they did, but they couldn't. They didn't even remember what happened yesterday. Twilight races back home and looks at the book again and Star Swirl's past history again. Then she looked at the Elements of Harmony. All of the colors altered. And Twilight realized that what she did resulted in her friends' livelihoods being altered, and harmony quickly turned to despair. And she looked at the results. Carousel Boutique was being boarded. Sweet Apple Acres became desolate. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy felt hopeless. Rarity slunk into a corner crying for what she did. Twilight's mood saddened and felt even more hopeless. Cue "I've Got to Find a Way." End Part 1. Part 2: Prologue: Recap Part 1. Act 1: Twilight researches her books and kept looking at the spell she enacted. She tried to white it out and rewrite it, but each time she attempted, it got blocked. Frustrated, Twilight throws her book down hard on the ground, frustrated. For the first time since her discordance, she felt hopeless. A tear sheds, landing on the book. Celestia appears and consoles Twilight. They disappear into Canterlot, where Celestia brings her into a room where all of Twilight's memories and accomplishments are kept. An altered version of Celestia's Ballad commences, reminding Twilight of all the hardships and triumphs she underwent. She reassures Twilight that she can and will fix the spell and not quit. It's still not too late to make things right. Follow your dream and your heart and put it out in Ponyville. Twilight was inspired and realized that, if she can't rewrite the spell, she can fix it by reminding them of their true talents. Act 2: With the Elements of Harmony gathered, Twilight finds Fluttershy and tells her that only she can help Rainbow Dash and make things right again. So they visit the cottage, where the animals held a mutiny against her. Fluttershy was able to successfully communicate with them and, with help from her Element, got her true talent back. Commence "A True, True Friend." The Mane Six group-hugged and was very happy to see them back to themselves again. And here, she was able to think of a way to fix the spell. They looked at Star Swirl's book one final time and noticed a pattern of attempting to live a life and evolve further, but the spells felt negative and cold. Twilight was able to connect the idea of maybe evolving into something more important and greater. And the spell was a method to conclude it. Instead of rewriting the spell from the paper, Twilight rewrote it from scratch, but changed the final lines. Suddenly, the Elements of Harmony charged, engulfing Twilight into a ball of light. When the light fades, everyone gasps. Act 3: Twilight wakes up and unfolds her wings, revealing to be an alicorn. Everyone was shocked, but excited. Twilight was surprised, but worried about how all this can happen. Celestia appears and explains Star Swirl's past about not being able to understand friendship. He was a powerful unicorn, but was always alone and worked on his spells solo. His legacy didn't begin until long after he passed away. He wanted to be great, but Twilight did something no one ever did: complete Star Swirl's magic of alicorn evolution, a concept that's never been done before. Furthermore, if needed to, Twilight can and will be promoted into a Princess of Magic, surprising everyone. Twilight wondered how to do her duties, but Celestia reassured er that everything will be okay, and all of her questions will eventually be answered. Twilight reluctantly accepted it, but took a look at her wings with some doubt. Cue "Behold, Princess Twilight Sparkle" and her coronation. In her speech, she thanked all of her friends for helping her grow into the pony she is today. After a group hug, "Life in Equestria" commences. At the end, Twilight asks Celestia if everything will be fine, and Celestia happily winked, and Twilight smiled hopefully. End Part 2 (with Twilight NOT flying towards the screen).
  7. Spoilers for last episode of Season 3, but not really anything else. So, we tend to hear quite a few fans talk about how the show has lost its magic since Season 3 started, and that the show is now more about literal spellcasting, lasers, and action violence, and fan pandering with meme-ish situations and characters, and that S1&2 had more slice-of-life stories. Well, I've whittled down S3 and S4 into one 26-episode season, divided into two half-seasons of thirteen episodes each. Season 3A: The Crystal Empire (Parts 1 & 2) One Bad Apple Magic Duel Sleepless in Ponyville Wonderbolts Academy Apple Family Reunion For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils Keep Calm and Flutter On Just for Sidekicks Games Ponies Play Flight to the Finish! Magical Mystery Cure (Twilight doesn't appear at all in FWtSBT or FttF! as far as I know, so figured I could place those episodes before MMC, because the feel like they could also be pre-MMC episodes) HIATUS of some length Season 3B: Princess Twilight Sparkle (Parts 1 & 2) Rarity Takes Manehatten Pinkie Apple Pie Rainbow Falls Three's A Crowd Pinkie Pride (remove filly Maud Pie) Twilight Time It's Not Easy Being Breezies Leap of Faith Equestria Games! Twilight's Kingdom (Parts 1 & 2) The point of this list is that these 26 episodes that are Post-Season 2, best exemplify the vibe that Season 1 and 2 friendly vibe aficianados are into. Well, just there, I deleted some of the more goofy and wacky adventurey episodes out of existence, but preserved the ones that "have to stay" in terms of continuity and "giving Princess Twilight some character development. But then again, Testing, Testing, 1 2 3 and Trade Ya! are also apparently important episodes for Princess Twilie's development... so if they are willing to have there be 15 episodes post-MMC up to and including the end of the Rainbow Power/Trinket arc, then I suppose that would or could help people who "wish the show stayed grounded in that sweet, casual Ponyville". What do you make of this? Do you think that the episodes that I removed into un-existence were something that... without them being there, recent MLP just doesn't seem whole? Or do you reckon that there's just some episodes that you don't care for because they don't contribute to the narrative or mess up your vibe of what initially and/or still makes FiM an attractive show instead of a stumbling show?
  8. MrBeatnikSoul

    Surfin' Derp! (Surfin' Bird Parody)

    Just wanted to share a real quick thing I did right before I left for BronyCon. I honestly did it to experiment and fool around, but I ended up uploading it after the Con (I haven't done anything vocal wise since Febuary anyways) and it happened to get featured on EQU Daily and what not... Forgive me Celestia, for I have Derped.
  9. I watched this when I was a little past the age demographic. Pretty much I was trying to comb the world's lore out of the parts I didn't like, not realizing it was "DragonRiders of Pern for little girls." Warning: some parts have potential, some parts are decent for a doll cartoon, some parts look like an executive kept screaming "make it girlier" after its level hit eleven, and there are some parts are pure WTF. The parts that are pure WTF are connected to random magical effects. Sheep that suddenly look like punk rockers or the comedic relief turning into elvis impersonators. That, and there are random technological and modern elements in a fantasy, instead of balancing for more non-fantasy elements. Some parts looks like the scriptwriters were getting drunk and didn't go back to re-write the particularly blacked-out sections. I have a thing against puns, but I'm seeing a lot of just lazy scripwriting. I think the show could be edited down and fan-dubbed to make it less painful. The girly-fashion-pink girl wouldn't be so annoying if they weren't using her clothing obsession to pad for time. Some parts that need to be examined: There is a team of girls and a team of boys. It looks like when they work together, it's because they need that many people. The boys are lesser because they're secondary characters, not because they are boys. Episode 6 does have the boys captured, but it seems like they only needed the girls to save them because the boys were surprised while the girls were warned. Otherwise they look like equals except for gender-identity personality and way of approaching problems. I hope that further study doesn't reveal emasculation or a stupid case of distress from either team. I don't think there is much shipping-bait, or at least they seem as romantically interested as eleven-year olds.
  10. An episode re-imagine of mine: The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well The "Mare-Do-Well"/superhero idea would be scrapped entirely in favor of another approach. Also, expand the moral into not just being humble in what you do, but also to not let fame get into your head. Scootaloo decide to take some time off Cutie Mark Crusading and create the Rainbow Dash Fanclub. Scootaloo would begin throwing around mail throughout Ponyville. Dash flies on by, greeting Scootaloo and asking what's up. Scootaloo hands her the invitation and zooms away. The Mane Six discuss this new club with interest. Twilight asks her what she thinks about it, and Dash is confident and happy, although she's reminded about the Young Fliers Competition. "Yeah. But not Ponyville," Dash replies. Pinkie asks her if it's fine for everyone to come, who says, "Yes." They meet up at the Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse where Dash was greeted by a barrage of young fans. Dash is given interviews about her adventures and achievements. Spike writes the report in a detective costume. Her friends are pleased and hopeful her talents at home will finally get a little more respect. Next day, Dash and friends jog around Ponyville, and Dash can't stop thinking about the fanclub and attention. They're pleased, but also advise Dash to be a little careful. Dash reassures them when hordes of adult pony reporters show up and pull her aside, and Dash says she'll catch up with Rarity later. They ask her about her acrobatic abilities, and she explains and talks about them semi-vainly. They ask to see it, and Dash shows off her wild cloud-clearing, looping, and fast flying abilities. All but a Sonic Rainboom. The citizens watch with delight, and Dash asks if that was what they were looking for. Everyone cheers wildly, and Dash is very giddy. Dash takes a little break to meet with Rarity, who finished developing some kind of superhero costume, and was continuing to self-talk about her abilities and awesomeness. Rarity, however, is still busy. Dash hovers above, getting her attention, and asks if she could try it. Rarity thinks about saying no, but Dash puppy-pleads, and Rarity gives her the okay. Dash comes out with the costume, looking cool and elegant. But… "The mask is dumb and ugly!" Rarity is offended by it, but before she answers, a knock on the door, and ponies show up with cameras and the fanclub in tow. They see Dash in the costume and race to her. Dash brags about not just her abilities, but how interesting she looked in the costume. All without crediting Rarity. Fillies come over and ask Dash for her autograph, which she accepts and takes pictures with them. The interviews end, and Dash puts the costume (and mask) back and flies away till she sees Scootaloo, who was looking impressed. Then she decided to ask a question: Can Dash do a Rainboom tomorrow morning at 8 AM? Dash said, "No problem!" Dash flies to the Library, where Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack were there. They talked to her and scolded her for what she did in the Carousel Boutique, taking credit for the costume and bragging about her abilities. Dash questions why she shouldn't. She's proud of her talent, and she tells them they should be proud that she's finally being viewed as someone other than a lazy, hardworking pegasus who controls the weather, too. They acknowledge that and tells her she should be proud, but warn her to be careful of how she acts upon it. Dash said she's always careful, but Rarity quickly reminded her of what she said about the mask and then actions after and before. Dash reassures that she'll be fine, but nonetheless apologizes to Rarity for going off like that. But before Rarity answers, Dash interrupts and says she has to prepare the Rainboom. She returns home to greet a happy Tank. She hands him some plants and fruit to chew. As she sits on her bed, her mind races. Did her actions go too far? Did she exploit her pride in such a manner that how her words and complacency with the paparazzi really did go into her head and hurt her friends? Sure, she apologized, but did she mean it? Tank consoles her with a nuzzle, and Dash gazes up at the ceiling. It's near 8 AM. On the ground, the ponies wait beside a makeshift runway for Dash to fly above and land. The Mane Six are there, too, and talk about the events. They wonder what Dash was thinking. Twilight witnessed Dash prepare for the dive. Applejack and Rarity ponder about the conversation aloud to each other. Spike and Fluttershy are sure she'll be all right. Dash lightly bounces off a light cloud, which floats high up in the sky. She sees the crowd below and is growing more and more giddy. She felt better after a good night's sleep, but still thinks about Rarity's conversation, although not so extensively. Deciding she is ready, she teeters at the edge and dives off the cloud, approaches the ground at high speed like a swimmer plunging off the diving board. The barrier separating sound and the Rainboom becomes visible about 30% of the way down, and she looks ahead with joy and confidence. Suddenly, she glances around and sees her friends and the RD FC looking up, the club feeling excited, her friends worried. The words ring in her mind loudly. On one hand, showing the Sonic Rainboom demonstrates her abilities to everypony, and she can finally be seen as a really talented pegasus permanently. On the other hand, does she want to do it for the ponies in Ponyville, Scootaloo, and her friends…or herself? Finally, she decides, "No." She slows down her descent and lands softly on the ground. Cameras and paparazzi catch up to her, but she walks by. She looks at the Mane Six and tells them that she thought about the conversation, and she regrets her actions. She not just embarrassed herself, but her friends, too. She let her newfound fame get into her head, and she wanted more of it. She felt relieved by the attention, but all that did was cause tension in her close friendship. She apologizes to Rarity again, and this time meaning it, who forgives her back. Then she looks at the dejected fanclub, walks to them, and apologizes to them. She should've said no, but she did so to fuel her own ego, not for Scootaloo, and apologizes to Scootaloo for not admitting it and deceiving her. The fanclub and Mane Six forgive her. For the fanclub, they not only forgive her, but are proud of her for admitting it. Scootaloo feels guilty, but Dash tells her not to. She has very good intentions and wants her to continue running the club. With everyone around her, Dash requests Spike to take a letter. In it, she describes her joy for having ponies admiring her for who she is and what she can really do. While she appreciates the effort, little did she know that the newfound fame eventually got into her head. She wasn't just showing her talents. She was showing them off in a way that caused tension between her and the others. The next time she's going to show off her talents, she's going to do it with grace and humility and not at the cost of her friendship. At the same time, she also begins to understand that, when there's fame, you have to keep your ego under control and not let it change who you are nor her relationship with those she loves the most. Does this mean she should shun fame and the media for good nor should she stop feeling proud of her abilities, strengths, and achievements? No. She embraces it and is proud of what she has done, but also realizes to watch what she does and says more and how not to let the attention and accomplishments cloud her judgment and get into her head. Spike sends the letter and is in the mood for a little snack. She invites the fanclub and friends to join, but asks the paparazzi for a little time alone. They oblige and let them on their merry way. The purpose for this is as followed: It eliminates usage of the Idiot Ball that did nothing but push the official episode and make Rainbow Dash look worse. One of TMMDW's biggest weaknesses in objective quality is how the foreshadowing is shoved in, only to artificially prolong it. Dash may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but she's capable of thinking and performing more than basic math. The real RD would've identified the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well as more than one character the second the Mane Six spilled those clues in front of her, as they were right there to see. It eliminates the double message of her friends being passive-aggressive assholes who wanted to teach her a lesson in humility, but performed it hypocritically by bragging in her face (spilling the MDW identity in front of her) and inadvertently shaming Dash. If Dash was a child, what her friends did would be borderline criminal. The contrived part of the episode (the dam, constant life-saving) is cut. Keep the worldbuilding in character of Ponyville. Dash would hear and listen to their words, which were discussed privately. If Dash was truly in character, she would think about those words and then question whether they were right or not. She has an ego and may be headstrong, but she won't inwardly shoo criticism right away. Criticism eats her because of her pride, especially if it's sharp and honest. Despite her ego, she would also show her loyalty. The beginning would have her conflict between her loyalty with her friends and loyalty with her ego and fame. Show her loyalty as not just a strength, but also a flaw. She keeps her inflamed ego and jerkiness, but balances with consequences of tension and realization of how poor her behavior becomes. It gives Dash an opportunity to prove her talent to Ponyville in a way that isn't exclusive to her helping with the weather, nor confined in smaller chunks. Dash shows off the Sonic Rainboom in Cloudesdale in a desperate attempt to rescue Rarity and the Wonderbolts, which is a completely different environment compared to those who live in Ponyville. It spreads her worth in her other home. An extra message/moral is given to the audience, bending, yet not breaking, the repetitive friendship report pattern up to that point. Her lesson wouldn't be just to be humble in your talents, but also learn not to let fame infiltrate and blow up your ego. In an interview another MLP Forums user gave me earlier this year, I explained how fame can be really bad for the mind if not careful. Quote It allows three things to continue: the Rainbow Dash Fanclub to prosper, the paparazzi to flourish, and the relationship with Scootaloo to develop. (For the latter, I would think of weaving it in some way to foreshadow it into Sleepless in Ponyville.) For the former, there'll finally be an origin to the Rainbow Dash Fanclub. IIRC, that was never explained in the official episode. Instead of being told and suddenly realizing she's in over her head, the realization is woven in. She'll be confronted about her ego, ponder about it, and show the character development via her own actions, thoughts, realizations, and decisions. She was told to be humble, but the episode never showed it at any point, because the script never gave her ample time to act upon it. Show, don't tell. The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well is confined to a cameo, and no more. It's an idea for Dash's ego to boost instead of tearing it down idiotically. The episode's resolved by her failing to do the Sonic Rainboom. Many of the episodes (and official movies outside FIM) tend to have an achievement/accomplishment and then wrapped up nicely. Here, unlike Sonic Rainboom, she won't do the Rainboom because she realizes the damage she caused, eating her up in the process, and realizes how bad an idea this would be. The failed assignment confronts her head on and subconsciously gives her that opportunity to either really show off or prove to her friends how loyal and trustworthy her conscience really is. You don't need to succeed an achievement to wrap up an episode well. More would be necessary to fix the pace and fit it in the twenty-minute frame. At this point, it'll take way too long to explain it in detail. How long? Longer than Double Rainboom, roughly thirty-five minutes. Extra details are needed to be chopped off and new material must replace it so the idea can flow in a twenty-minute frame. But the concept is there, one where, personally, it would tell a much better story of Dash getting an ego, being scolded for letting fame and ego get into her head, and eventually realize the dangers of fame and reward for humility. Plus, she realizes that being proud and confident in what she does doesn't have to interfere with her true self and relationship with her friends and fans. ——— Source: Rewriting Episodes Your Way
  11. Hey guys, so I just finished doing my first rewrite/parody of a song, a Rainbow Dash version of So What? by P!NK (after I saw a Rainbow Dash PMV to it), and I'm actually quite proud of it... I kinda want to try writing other songs for the rest of the Mane Six, and maybe other characters, too. I need a little help with two things, though: 1. I. Can't. Sing. And I don't know any other bronies in real life, let alone ones who are good singers, so if anyone wants to maybe sing my lyrics (best if you can do a good impression of the character, but no problem if you can't), you could either upload it to your own YouTube or email me the file (my MSN email is on my profile) and I'll upload it (My YouTube is HeyCallMeLy). But contact me first so I know, either just here, through email or YouTube. I'll post the So What? lyrics below~ Thanks! 2. I need some suggestions for songs to use for the other characters. If you can think of a song that could work, that maybe already sort of fits a character, tell me and I'll get on it! Also, if you already have any ideas for rewritten lines in the song, I could use them (I'll credit you, of course) And here's RD's So What? Please tell me what you think I'll be going back over it and reworking it, so any help is appreciated~! HEY, GUESS WHAT?! I WROTE SOME MORE!!!!!! Smoke + Mirrors by Skye Sweetnam, sung by Fluttershy (the second verse is supposed to be Fluttershy talking to Rainbow Dash about the Best Young Flyer competition) Innocent by Taylor Swift, sung by Princess Celestia to multiple characters. I'll highlight each line the colour for the character it's about: Fluttershy (Putting Your Hoof Down and Hurricane Fluttershy) Pinkie Pie (Part of One and Baby Cakes) Rainbow Dash (Mysterious Mare Do-Well) Twilight Sparkle (Lesson Zero) Princess Luna (Nightmare Moon) The Cutie Mark Crusaders (Gabby Gums) Babs Seed (Bullying) All Home Is Where The Heart Is by Lady Antebellum, sung by Applejack (I've got two versions of this one) Mrs Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel "Miss Rarity" - requested by TheLionPaladin I hope you like it Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift (2 versions) Hypocrite by Skye Sweetnam, sung by Pinkie Pie (I kinda feel this is a Pinkie-breaks-the-Fourth-Wall-and-talks-to-the-Haters sort of thing)
  12. Pretty self explanatory! This is a tribute to my favorite writer of MLP that I have worked on for quite some time. If you'd like to see the lyrics or more general info, please check the video description on Youtube!
  13. MrBeatnikSoul

    [Lyrics] Meghan McCarthy Tribute

    So ever since Summer BronyCon 2012, I've been getting an appreciation for the writers of the show. Particularly Meghan McCarthy. I mean cmon, The Canterlot Wedding? Party of One? Lesson Zero? She has my appreciation! I know this isn't exactly "ponyfiying" but I believe this woman deserves a song! (I mean, I REALLY like her mane!) Now I wrote this song in the Summer and it's just been sitting in my files for awhile. This is when I saw that the writers were rather unappreciated (at the time). I'd like to cover it, but I've never had anyone else look at it. Meaning I have no idea if my lyrics look appropriate for a tribute. So, I'd like some help! Do the lyrics seem to be over-praising? Does it flow ok? Does it seem over dramatic? I'm an amateur at song writing, so please bear with me. The original song/lyrics are: "Mrs. Robinson" By Simon and Garfunkel. Ms. McCarthy And here’s to you, Ms. McCar-ar-thy Bronies loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo) Stay gold and bright, Miss McCar-ar-thy Don’t you lose that pony flair today (Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey) We'd like to show our gratitude to our leading writer We think it’s our turn to help you smile Look around you and you’ll see excitement in our eyes Cause’ we’re waiting for your magic to arrive And here’s to you, Ms. McCar-ar-thy Bronies loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo) Stay gold and bright, Ms. McCar-ar-thy Don’t you lose that pony flair today (Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey) Twily seemed to snap a bit when she missed her report. Cutiemark Crusaders mess with romance Pinkie kinda lost it, with no parties and no friends Come to Canterlot and see that Love’s In Bloom Scoot Scoot-aloo, Ms. McCar-ar-thy Bronies loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo) Stay gold and bright, Miss McCar-ar-thy Don’t you lose that pony flair today (Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey) Writing new adventures to come every ponies way Working on a deadline, can’t be late Make ‘em crazy, make ‘em sad Don’t matter what you do Everypony’s rootin’ out for you Another long, season’s come and gone The fandom holds it’s memory so true (Woo, woo, woo) We wait for you, Ms. McCar-ar-thy Jolt us all and take our breath away (Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)