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Found 12 results

  1. I was thinking about opening this thread with a boring thesis statement on the way society has developed gender-based advantages and disadvantages, but in this case I think the title says it all. As a man, I think women have the upper hand, especially in the romance department. Assuming heterosexuality, it seems like the pressure is always on the guy to ask permission to advance a relationship, be it a dance invitation or a marriage proposal. And even though women now have equal employment opportunity, it's generally assumed that we should pay for dates. I have to admit, though, performing acts of chivalry feels undeniably sweet. What do you think?
  2. Expanding on the recent theme of the last several entries... I've been meaning to tackle this issue for years, and am just now getting around to it. If you're a gamer, and a regular denizen of the various interwebs, then you've probably heard the name Anita Sarkeesian at some point. (In fact, you're probably sick of hearing that name.) I'm not sure how relevant this issue still is, or if it's drifted away from the spotlight, but for some time, Sarkeesian was making quite a bit of noise about sexism and the misrepresentation of women in video games. If you're unfamiliar with Sarkeesian, it will probably only take about one minute of watching her content on youtube to know all you need to. In short, she seems to believe that if a man finds a woman physically, sexually attractive, in any context, under any circumstances, then it's sexist and wrong. (Perhaps a little bit of an unfair generalization of her, but it doesn't seem too far from the mark.) She makes quite a lot of displeased noise about women being depicted as sexual objects in games, and offered as rewards and such. Now, I happen to agree that there is indeed some problems with sexism in video games, but the solution is not what Sarkeesian would propose. (If Sarkeesian got her way, she'd probably just destroy any hint of sex appeal in games.) Let's be blunt and get straight to the point. Let's talk "bikini" armor, or "sexy" armor. Let's talk about this: Is it wrong to have scantily clad women in fantasy games? Or other games? (Mostly fantasy games.) Is it wrong to prominently display sexuality and sex appeal this way? Is it wrong to have women wear a ludicrously impractical metal bikini for armor? If you've read my previous blog entry, you can probably guess that my answer to all of these questions is a resounding no. It's not wrong. I'm one of the most sex positive people you'll ever meet, and a huge proponent of a healthy celebration of sexuality and sex appeal, and beauty in general. This may sound shallow to some, but I don't see it that way. It's just another wonderful aspect of life to enjoy. An appreciation for this part of life doesn't automatically mean an unhealthy objectification of people. In fact, I submit that appreciating and enjoying sexual beauty, and sexually objectifying people are mutually exclusive. I can enjoy beauty and still look at people (or even video game characters) as complex individuals. Back to the bikini armor--Anita Sarkeesian makes the assertion over and over again that such things are not armor. Well, no sh*t P.I. Rarity. Who said it was? Of course these revealing swimsuit outfits aren't going to protect characters in battle. It's a GAME. It doesn't have to be realistic. Why can't we have some sexy outfits if we want 'em? What's the harm in that? Is is really so evil? Well, according to Sarkeesian, you bet your sweet patootie it is. (Oh, whoops. Shouldn't have said patootie. That's evil and sexist, too.) And Sarkeesian's answer to the question, "what's the harm?" is that is will create a society full of men who don't know how to respect women. We're gonna be a horde of Dothraki, that's what it is. Well, it's not true. And I'm going to give the same response I do when it comes to children with respect to NSFW internet content: just comes down to parenting. Watch what your kids are playing, teach them properly, demonstrate how to treat women in real life, both by your words and by example, and don't let your children play mature games until they demonstrate mature behavior. Don't blame your problems on games, and don't expect the ESRB to do your job for you, and definitely, (and I can't stress this one enough), definitely don't take away my goddamn sexy games because you don't like 'em!! I love me some sexy games, and I love me some sexy characters, and I don't see anything wrong with that. I respect women, just as I respect all people, I don't mistreat real women, and I don't objectify them, and yet I still enjoy a scantily clad fantasy game character, a phenomenon that Sarkeesian would probably deem impossible. So, I stated that there is a problem. And here it is: The problem is that we often have sexualized female characters in revealing outfits, but their male counterparts are always these giant tanks wearing so much armor that they look more like a vehicle from Mad Max: Fury Road. This is a double standard, and it's unfair. (Unless you actually have a valid, story based reason for it.) So, what's the solution? Well, it's not to cover up all of the females, as Sarkeesian would like. It's....*drumroll*....yup, you guess it! Let's show some skin on the males! Offer equally revealing, equally sexualized male variants. I'm arguing for equality, but not equality by censorship. I argue for equal celebration of sexual beauty. Depending on the game, it could also make sense to offer "real", practical armor and "sexy" armor for each sex, and let players choose what they want. Now, revealing armor and sexy outfits don't have a place in every game. It all depends on the game. I don't want revealing, silly armor for my Spartans in Halo. Some games are serious business, and it would ruin the story to have impractical garbs. Skyrim was another game that made the right choice to have practical armor. But Final Fantasy games?! Kingdoms of Amalur?! Heck YEAH! Sexy all the way! Just offer both for players who want it, and offer the same types of outfits for male characters. Now, if it seems like this idea wouldn't fly, I'd like to take a moment to point out this: I mean, these guys are in armored bikini briefs, for Celestia's sake. They're heavily sexualized. Now, maybe it was actually more practical for them to be able to move, but the point is that we just need more options like this for male characters in games. But too often, we see the armored bikini goddess, as in that first picture, and the male tank, as in the second. Just, y'know, take a lesson from 300. It's not rocket science. God of War did it. Have realistic attire in games that warrant it, have sexy attire when applicable, offer both when feasible, and offer equally revealing outfits for males. Incidentally, I'd like to place Warframe on a pedestal for managing to simultaneously be the most equal, least sexist, and (in my opinion) sexiest game ever made. It is possible.
  3. Also, how did you learn about it? Did your parents ever give you "the talk?" Or did you just happen to have a more....visual experience? As for me, I think I was around 11-12. I remember watching something on TV where characters were mentioning condoms, and I wondered what those were. So I asked my parents, and they pretty much came clean with me.
  4. I'd like to talk briefly about the idea of sexual virginity. I believe that the very concept of "virginity" is one that we could do without. I believe virginity to be a flawed idea that does more harm than good. What words and images crop up in your mind when you hear the word "virginity"? What sort of ideas do your hear associated with virginity? Virginity has long been portrayed as a sacred, precious thing, a thing of great value that must be cherished, and that somehow diminishes the person when lost. Having one's virginity tends to be thought of as being pure and untainted. Virginity is depicted as something that must be safeguarded, something that makes you a more noble or virtuous person so long as you still have it. I don't think I should really need to explain the problem with this way of thinking, but I will attempt to do so nonetheless. As I have argued many times on these forums, sex is not inherently dirty, corrupt, or immoral. Unfortunately, it is used to hurt people, but that doesn't mean that any one person needs to attach a feeling of corruption to sex with respect to themselves. I am a very sex-positive person. I view sex as a beautiful, wonderful expression of love. That's what it is to me. Whatever it is to anyone, it is not inherently immoral. The concept of virginity implies that it is immoral, and that abstaining is a virtuous choice. The concept has caused people to feel ashamed of themselves for having sex outside of marriage, even when it's with a committed partner whom them love very much. The concept of virginity also tends to make people feel that once they lose it, they are tainted, and "damaged goods". This is where our old friend the gender double standard rears its ugly head once again. It cannot be denied that, throughout history, and even still today, virginity is placed at a higher level of value for women. Women are thought to be much more impure than men once they've lost their virginity. In many cultures, and at many points in history, men desire a virgin mate/wife, as if that makes their partner better. Often times, men are actually praised for sexual promiscuity, while women are ridiculed and shamed. In the traditional marriage ceremony, the bride is supposed to wear a white dress only if she is a virgin. I can see no other reason for the origin of this tradition other than to advertise, like a giant flag, that the bride is still pure, and if she's not, it becomes a source of shame. These ideas cannot be jettisoned soon enough. We need to outgrow this idea that sex is inherently dirty, and that virginity is pure thing, and keeping it until marriage automatically makes you noble and virtuous. Sex can be one of the most beautiful things in life, and yet, to my despair and dismay, humanity has done an exemplary job of dragging it through the mud and making people feel ashamed of sex, ashamed of desiring it, ashamed of losing their virginity, and ashamed of their own bodies. A healthy individual, this attitude does not make. Of course, these unhealthy views of sexuality all come from religion. Where else would they come from? People aren't born automatically thinking that their private parts are evil and should be avoided at all costs. That said, I also want to make it perfectly clear that there is nothing wrong with waiting, with abstaining, with keeping your virginity, etc. That's completely fine. There's nothing wrong with waiting until marriage, and nothing wrong with being asexual, either. Whatever makes one comfortable. And I will be the first to admit that sex is absolutely a big deal, and should be treated accordingly. It carries risks, and requires the proper level of maturity and education. The point is that we need to stop treating virginity as an inherently precious thing that needs to be safeguarded. This just leads people to believe that losing one's virginity diminishes them in some way, which isn't true at all. To my knowledge, sexuality is the only thing in life that we attach such a concept to. There is no other area in which we have a term for someone who hasn't done something, such that that unblemished record needs to be safeguarded to keep the person pure. We need to let go of the very idea that having sex means you've lost something. I argue that when it's with someone you truly love, having sex means that you've gained something precious.
  5. Whether you were born in the most privileged part of the US, or the hellhole of Iraq, it seems to be a common sentiment that being a woman in this world is to be unlucky in some regard. Historical patriarchy has had its clear effects on women, which are still felt today. For the purpose of this essay, I'm disregarding the worst places in the world where women are truly denied the most basic of rights. Right here in my home of the US, it's commonly said that women have to fight and work twice as hard, and "play the game better", in order to be respected. Today, I'd like to explain why being male isn't always sunshine and rainbows. In this morning's newspaper, I read an opinion article by a woman who believes that Donald Trump's alleged treatment of women is completely unsurprising, and furthermore a non-issue, because "most men don't respect women." She then went on to cite the existence of strip clubs and Hooters restaurants as evidence of this. I'm not going to weigh-in on my opinions of these sorts of establishments at the moment. The point I want to focus on is specifically this woman's impression of men, and the fact that this sentiment appears very common among women. She says "most" men disrespect women. Most. By definition, "most" means, at minimum, over 50%. I wouldn't be surprised if she was implying considerably more than that--say 2/3 or 3/4. But I'll grant her the largest concession possible, and go with just over half. Over half. She believes that over half of all men disrespect women. (And keep in mind, she's not from Afghanistan, she's from California.) Could this figure really be true? Is every other man you see on the street an objectifying disrespecting, sexist scumbag? Surely not, but the actual numbers are irrelevant to the purpose of this essay. The point is that she simply feels this way in the first place. The point is that many people have this impression of men. As a desperately lonely man, I feel like the game has been rigged against me. I feel like I am constantly labeled as a villain. I feel like wherever I go, women regard me with mistrust and suspicion, and assume that I am shallow and objectify women. I feel like I have been lumped in with the bad guys without being given a chance. I greatly resent being male for this reason. Women often say that they have to fight and work twice as hard in this world in order to be thought equal to men. (Or even half as good, as you sometimes hear.) But I feel like I have to fight and work twice as hard in order to be thought a decent human being, and not a shallow, chauvinistic australopithacine. For my whole life, I've felt like no one has ever looked at me and just seen me, without looking through this pool of poison. I am only viewed through the clouded lens of prejudice created by the bad members of my sex. Any acceptance of me comes with caveats and comparisons to other men. To all women who feel like they've been dealt a bad hand, please know that the grass isn't always greener; it's dead on both sides of the fence.
  6. What is the best and most appropriate definition for love, that is about feelings and not about sex? When people fell in love with each other because of who they are and what do they feel, and not because of their bodies and their "calls for lust". When sex is there only for having child/children.
  7. I work at a hardware store, and they recently hired a new coworker (we'll call him Brad). One day, I'm eating my lunch in the break room when Brad walks in. "Hi Brad!" I say politely. Brad stares at me for a second, and then begins to shift his eyes across my body, as if he's inspecting me. A smile creeps across his face. "You're a virgin, aren't you?" he says plainly. "...what kind of a question is that?" I reply. "You don't have to be embarrassed." he says, still grinning from ear to ear. "Even if I was, how could you even tell?" I replied, shifting uncomfortably in my chair. " just have a way about you." he says. "I can almost guarantee you that Ryan is virgin, too." "You barely even know Ryan." "I know enough." Brad says decisively. "I know that he doesn't make eye contact when he talks to me." "So?" "So, he's f*cking whipped. He's got absolutely no game. Trust me, I know the type. Goes home, eats dinner, watches TV, goes to bed. Nothing goin' on in his pants. Unless..." Brad motions towards his left hand, wiggling his fingers back and forth. "Unless little lefty here is putting out." "Whatever." I reply. At this point, I'm feeling ridiculously self-conscious. I mean, everybody masturbates...not just me and Ryan. I'm normal, right? There's nothing wrong with me. I make eye contact with people (mostly). I've had a couple girlfriends. Never really got sexual ever, but--- "You don't believe me, do you?" he says, still grinning. "Trust me, once you get a little'll know what I'm talking about." Brad winks at me, then leaves the break room. My head is spinning. I know that most of you are thinking that Brad is just a gross pervert who's trying to get under my skin, it true that some men are able to identify whether somebody has had sex or not? Is he taking a wild guess, or did he prematurely come to that conclusion based on how friendly I was to him? Does he perceive friendliness as a sign of weakness? Is this some sort of "wolf pack" male initiation ritual that I'm unaware of? Do guys regularly size each other up by suggesting that one of them gets less sex than the other? I've never had somebody talk to me that way, not even in school.
  8. Hello all, I'm new to the forums and would like some help on my writing. I have several stories and was wondering if any of ya would be willing to check it out. Here's the link to my FiMFiction. I need constructive criticism, not hate or sarcasm. Thank you so much!
  9. This is a joke. I promise this isn't a legit OC. This is my child, Potato. She was made after a scandle with Daring Do. Sex happened. You know how it works. It's all explained on the last post of this page(Unless someone posts or something. ...You'll know when you my icon, okay?) My daughter has low self esteem and needs encouragement. Could anyone possibly draw my beautiful darling boo? P.S. It's a joke. P. S. S. NO HATEFUL COMMENTS PLZ kthxbai.
  10. If you couldn't already tell, I don't hide when it comes to the subject of sex. I've been very open about sex since as early as puberty, and never really saw it as a big deal. In fact, it's a defining feature of my personality. I'm a borderline sexual deviant ^-^ But that makes it sound icky... Let's just say I'm very "anti-prude". Now, I definitely believe the act should be handled with extreme care, and safety, but I really don't think it should be treated like a once-in-a-life-time thing, or referred to as something so vile and dirty, when in reality, it's a beautiful ritual that occurs all throughout nature. ~Pic related~ It shouldn't be completely exiled from society. It's in our programming. We are sexual creatures by default. We just have emotions and standards thrown on top of our primary instincts because we're human, but that doesn't mean we should hide from them. I mean, don't get me wrong. It's a private thing, but discussion is harmless. No one is truly getting hurt when someone else is a bit more comfortable with talking about penises and vaginas. Just because one person isn't scared of nature doesn't mean they should be discriminated. I think that society these days is WAY too prudish with censorship, and it makes me sad. Why lie to ourselves? Why hide from something that makes us whole and together? If it weren't for sex, none of us would exist, so stop treating the beautiful, natural ritual with so little care. There's no need to throw it into the closet, and forget about it until your honeymoon. Embrace it. [/EndSexualRant]
  11. To anyone looking for something new, may I recomment my fanfic on Here's the link: Reviews are good, give it a read if you like.