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Found 6 results

  1. This has been bugging me as of late and I think it's worth discussing. I'm participating in the "Finding your special somepony thread," and one of the arguments against such dating programs is that we need to let love "come to us." We shouldn't search for love and we need to just let it come with time. Some believe searching for love is a fruitless effort and that true love must be a spontaneous crossing of fates. I don't believe that. After all, people being open to relationships at all requires some amount of effort. If people put no effort in at all, not only would opportunities for love pass us by, but all opportunities in life PERIOD would pass us by. Life takes effort, simple as that. So with that said, if people are open to love, then on some level, whether conscious or not, they are looking for love. So the question then goes from "is it appropriate to look for love?" to "How much effort is appropriate in looking for love?" And if that's the case, then how much effort is appropriate is up to the individual. Some people need more, some people need less. It's all up to the person's circumstances, and if that requires using online dating, so be it. And how do we know that looking for love isn't simply part of fate, as well? TL;DR - Everyone (whether consciously or unconsciously) looks for love to one degree or another. Thoughts?
  2. So I have been thinking quite a lot lately. Actually, when am I NOT thinking about something? Well, this time I have been thinking of something more specific, that thing is love. What? Love? How incredibly unlike me to be thinking of such a subject! Yeah, it is a little strange I suppose. I do not have much of a social life at all. The social life that I do have is on the internet, mostly on these forums. I suffer from severe Aspergers Syndrome and crippling anxiety so I have an incredibly difficult time meeting new people, not to mention getting to know them well. Normally, I am a loner. I live with my dad and I usually just stay in my room and I do not leave my home much. It doesn't sound like much of a life, but I am happy with it. I get SSI due to my problems and I try to live within my means and keep things simple. I like a simple lifestyle. Anyways, I really cannot live alone. Due to my many problems, there is just no way that I can and I will fully admit it. I was born with these problems and all I can do is just accept them and accept myself and just try to be happy. This has made me think though, about the future. I tend to do that a lot, thinking of the future. Probably not a good idea in my case but I do it anyways. Because of this thinking marathon, I have recently become very scared of the future. I have tons of anxiety over many things, but this is a feeling that I have not felt before. I fear that I may be completely alone in the future. Why is this? Well, it is because of my problems that I have mentioned. I cannot drive due to my problems and I do not get out much and even if I did, I live in a small town. I have thought of something more though, that is love. Love is something that I have not thought about much in my life. I have had only one relationship and it did last for a decent while, but it ended on a bad note. Why am I thinking of love? I honestly do not know the exact reason, but I have realized that it is something that I truly want. Because of my awkward wording, this may be difficult to explain but I do want love in my life. I want to find my special somepony. I truly mean this. I want someone that I can say 'I love you' to and for them to love me back, despite all of my shortcomings. I want someone that will hold my hand and hug me, and me do the same for them. This is where my complications come in. I am incredibly shy and socially awkward. I also have very low self esteem, basically the self esteem of a rock. Which is weird because I will admit that I am a good person for what I am, but I am weird like that. How will I meet anyone majorly new to even have a chance? If we develop something, how will we see each other? I have so many worries and questions that honestly it makes me cry. My limitations keep me from doing much. I cannot travel and like I have said I am very socially awkward. I know that these things take a lot of time and it does not happen instantly, you just cannot force it and I realize that. I just feel so worried about it all and the future. Maybe this worry is unjustified but I am very weird like that. Does any of this make sense? The only real way I will find anyone is online. I have made a small step by making a post in the forums here, but I am unsure if that will do anything. I worry that if I find anyone, what if they live really far away? It is stuff like that, that depresses me. I don't know what I will do at that point. Will they come to me? Am I worth that? I probably would not be able to come to them, but if I could, I absolutely would. Who knows, maybe they would come to me. I know it is a lot to ask, but if we truly love each other, then they may not have a problem doing so. I am very serious about wanting real love and I want something like this to work, but I know that I need to give it time, a lot of time. Hopefully someday I will find my special somepony. That is what I need to have, hope, not doubt. I get depressed very easily so I am vulnerable to doubt and fear, but I just need to have hope. One day, I will find that special somepony, I will. It is just keeping this spirit up that is the challenge. Thank you for reading if you did. This was very confusing to read I bet but my wording can be weird. It makes me feel really nice letting these thoughts out and I am glad I was able to share them with you all.
  3. For all of you in search of the threads for finding your special somepony on the forum, you're having a difficult time locating them because they have been removed. Since their inception, these threads have caused trouble for staff and regular members alike. Sometimes they simply left us scratching our heads wondering what the hell just happened, or why Member X and Member Y are now duking it out with half a dozen friends trying to be referees, or what's up with some creep exhibiting stalker-like behavior. On the surface, these threads may look innocuous enough to most participants and passersby. Just a bunch of members in search of that “special somepony,” no cause for concern. Seems rather sweet, in fact. You'd be correct in thinking this most of the time. There's no denying that some good, enduring relationships have blossomed as a result of them. Even a few romances that ended have transformed into longstanding friendships. The flip side of this is that quite a few “lovers' quarrels” have erupted as well. Some spats quite serious; some extremely petty. Why does this concern anyone besides those couples? Why not just punish those causing the problems and leave the thread alive for everyone else? Conflicts of this nature often affect more than those who instigated it. On several occasions, people having a fight resulting in the demise of their relationship have managed to get a handful of their friends involved. Friends who don't know how to react or respond, but are now placed in a very uncomfortable situation with volatile people who may lash out at them too if they don't handle the situation appropriately. Nobody here needs to find themselves trapped like that, afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing or nothing at all for fear of retaliation or losing an emotionally compromised friend. Nobody needs to be forced into choosing which of two friends they can keep when those two lose their affections for one another. Quite frankly, this sort of behavior is often stupid and childish. Given the number of people on this forum who are technically children mitigates the element of surprise, but that doesn't change the fact that this is all supremely obnoxious, a total waste of the staff's time, and that dozens of ordinary bystanders shouldn't have to pay for it. The staff, and I daresay everyone else on this forum, have better things to do than mediate intimate bickering of this magnitude. First and foremost, this is a fan site for bronies, not a dating site. Although we've allowed threads for that purpose to exist for a time, it has now become detrimental to our goal of providing the fandom a safe and hospitable social hub. It's time for them to go. But wait, there's more! Bad as all of that can be, we've got one more reason eclipsing it: predation. A few members have come and gone (often through a ban) with... dishonorable intentions. Soliciting personal information, knowingly making unwelcome sexual advances, and all of this typically to multiple members in a spammy fashion and regardless of whatever instructions or reprimands they're given. As tired as a few members are of being creeped upon, we're tired of dealing with creeps. These aren't the kind of people we want on this site, and harboring threads that attract them like flies to honey isn't particularly wise. Futhermore, we've had to have a few conversations with angry parents over this, particularly when their kid gets into a relationship with an adult here. Is it even our responsibility though, you may be asking? Shouldn't the parents take responsibility for what their children are doing online and stop expecting forum administrators to raise their kids instead, so everyone else here can do as they please in a responsible fashion? I, personally, say yes, and to any irresponsible parents out there: get off your lazy asses and stop blaming other people for your failures as a mother/father. That said, the fact remains that they do contact us, and we have to talk to them about whatever concerns them, and we have to start monitoring their kid and whoever they're interacting with to make sure nobody tries arranging a meeting or swapping some naughty pictures or what have you. We aren't equipped or staffed properly for such a task, nor should we even have to do this on a My Little Pony forum anyway. With the demise of these threads, things will hopefully mellow out for everyone. To those members that once enjoyed window shopping for a significant other, sorry for the inconvenience. You'll have to do things the old fashioned way... going out of your way to talk to people you encounter in your forum travels and putting a more concentrated effort into making their acquaintance. Sound harder? Kind of is. On the other hand, you may find the resulting relationships to be much more meaningful and enduring. Try to see this as an opportunity for personal growth rather than a hindrance.
  4. WELCOME!!! If you are in a relationship with someone on the forums, feel free to post about it here. Explain who's the lucky filly or colt, if you want. Explain how happy they make you feel, the funny moments you two have shared, updates on the relationship, or just post whatever the heck you want to share on the matter.
  5. All right after successfully paring up users and I decided to make a thread where I give advice on crushes. If you have a forum or real life crush, come to me and I'll give you crush advice on how to talk to them. If the crush is on the forums, you can choose to say their name or just keep the crush anonymous. You might think this thread is similar to the special some pony thread. The difference is this is more for advice on how to talk to your crush or get to second base with them or how your crush life is, So ask away!