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Found 32 results

  1. Anyone in school right now is probably experiencing some level of confusion, whether it’s dealing with online school or social distancing rules in actual school buildings. Whatever it is, it’s probably stressful, so that’s why I created this thread to talk about it. So, for those of you in school during 2020, how has it been for you so far? Are you stressed, anxious, or scared? Are you actually excited or looking forward to something? Feel free to discuss it all here! Might as well lay down a few rules before anyone starts: - If you need homework help, there’s already a separate thread for that. Talking about, for example, how homework is different for you now is completely fine. - If you want to vent, go ahead, but please do not discuss anything overly political or toxic. You are welcome to share your feelings, but let’s not start any fights! - Obviously the virus will be a big discussion topic in this thread, but like the above rule says, nothing too political is allowed or anything that would start a big fight. Just be mindful of each other and everything should be fine Now that all the rules are out of the way, feel free to share all your thoughts and experiences about the new year. It’ll definitely be different, but I believe in all of you! Good luck to all students this year!!
  2. What video games do you play to relieve your stress. If you had a bad day whether it be at work or in general, what games would you play that are therapeutic to you and why? Here are mine: Grand Theft Auto V Killing Floor 2 COD WAW Zombies Left 4 Dead 2
  3. I was having a hard time sleeping last night, I'm quite stressed from school work and I need some tips.
  4. I've been over the top stressful lately. And my mind and body can't take it anymore because of my pathetic procrastination. Yes it is a sting in the tail, but I feel like i try real hard to not put off my things that are important because I do have a daily schedule and routine marked out for homework. Yet I still put off any project that is research based. Because if it's a topic I don't like at heart, then all I care about is everything else except for that
  5. Just a thought i had, and was curious about all of your opinions.. Back in high-school, all the pressure i had was Homework, Getting ready for school, and maybe the occasional drama in class. Nowadays, between moving away, paying for my tuition, and studying, it seems i hardly have time for anything or anyone. Still, it somehow doesn't slow me down. What about you? How much can you take before you start feeling cornered?
  6. Hello there everyone. I am Dubwave Nightshadow, your host. Nice to meet you all. This is my first time making a blog entry here in the forums, so pardon me if I mess something up. Lol. Well, as you can see, my first entry is titled, "Fandom Fatigue". What is fatigue? I could use the dictionary version, but I will stick with my simple version of the meaning. Basically tiredness of tiredness of something thats been done or over done, in this case, being an overload brony or pegasister. That can be our first issue for this blog. Issue 1. Well, I have seen this little subject being mentioned in so many places in so many different ways, but I will keep it simple and to the point for this entry, as I want to make everything really easy to read and understand. Ever have that feeling that you have just been on here or some other Mlp related site waaaaay too much, and you seem to stress out a little more than usual? Well dont worry. This is normal and not at all a bad thing, because I experience the same thing. It happens in all fandoms and not just our own. You spend a little too much time without meaning it, chatting, posting, chatting some more, looking for pictures, buying more merchandise, chatting some more, too many people all trying to suddenly talk to you at once and your trying to speak to all of them and keep up, and suddenly you have been locked up in your room for hours without realizing it. . . Whoa... A real head spinner, and a headache too. You do not have to always have to spend your time doing something Mlp related and trying to be overly involved. Your always going to be a brony or a pegasister no matter what, because you love the show, and you love the happiness, friendship and fun that comes with it, but don't just keep it confined to here. Go out and take a break for a while from the fandom and share what you gained from it with the world, and have fun elsewhere until you drop. Your fandom and friends will still be here waiting for you, and when you come back you will be refreshed and actually missing it, and wanting to go crazy over it again, instead of stressing out trying to act as if you are so into it but are really wishing you could be resting or doing something else. Lol. So if you need to, let your friends know that you will be off for a while so they will not miss you and wonder where you went, and take a relaxing vacation. Then get back in here and PARTAAAY!
  7. Just a little artwork of Jade I did while under stress. Hope you ponies like it.
  8. The lonely routine that was my life became unbearable. So unbearable, in fact, that I decided I had no choice but to run away. I suppose I'm typing this to vent a little; share my story with the world (for those who choose to read it, that is). I packed my things, and when my family wasn't looking, I escaped out our sliding glass back door and headed off into the night, holding my Twilight plushie close. I wore a jacket and a backpack filled with a few things I'd need if all went according to plan. I didn't have a plan B. That is to say, if plan A failed, I considered my only other option as running until the police found me. Not a good plan, but I didn't know what else to do. If you're concerned by this point, don't be. Plan A was successful. Plan A was finding a friend's house and asking if I could stay for a while. I'd thought about frantically rambling about how I couldn't go back; how no one could make me and I would just continue to run if the answer was no. But then I decided that would get me a call to the men in white coats (or something similar) and they would just think I was crazy. So I retained my sanity as I trekked into the night, amongst sidewalks and traffic. I got lost. If you're going to take a shortcut, make certain beforehand that it is actually a shortcut. Sometimes it's just better to backtrack. I eventually found it, though (to my great relief). When my friend's brother opened the door, he acted normally, as if he'd greeted anyone else. Even though it was like 10:00 at night. Long story short, my friend's mom was kind enough to feed me and let me stay for a while. I'm back now.
  9. As some of you may already know, I'm an actor. A performer. And I'm currently in the middle of my highschool's play, The Wizard of Oz. In the moment, being onstage and in character, it's really fun. Backstage, however, is a tragically darker tale. Not dramatically so, but enough to seriously discourage me from ever trying out for anything ever again. Our cast is great-- but they all have their flaws, and when they only show you their not-so-lovable side, it's not a fun experience. Often times I'm trying to do what my director told us to do with stress: "Let it slide like water off a duck's back" It works, and I imagine being an actual duck under a waterfall, small and feathery with a setting sun in the distance, turning the sky to a violet-fade-to-magenta hue that shines on fresh green grass fields that stretch on for miles, and I just cuddle with Twilight until I open my eyes and realize I have to go onstage. Sooo, cast call is less than an hour away and still stressed from the previous performance. I'm not gonna die, but I'm not gonna love it either. I find it difficult to tolerate the cast members' behavior backstage, and changing costumes is something I'm not used to, so it's frantic and stressful, especially if something is missing. It's difficult to have foresight and remember which scenes come into play and when, and I have to hold up a tree for like, seven minutes. It's a heavy tree. I freakin' hate it. I want to burn it (it's already dead anyway, might as well). Soooooooooooooooo, yup. I dunno what else to type here, because I can't think straight from all the stress. Hopefully I see you in another entry sometime. I'm not always negative and depressing, I promise.
  10. lelouch.

    dont suicide guys

    i kinda copy/pasted this from facebook, its not written by me but i still thought i should post this. Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and brother won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? He’s in shock. He can’t believe it. He knew what you were going through, but he never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. He can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big brother, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, he stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, he just loses it. He cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days. It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? He tried to kill herself. He didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. I found this online and thought it had an extremely beautiful message.
  11. What kind of college do you want to go to? (If you are in High School or younger) What College are you in? (If you are currently in one) What College did you go to, if you did (If you already graduated) For me, I want to go to Yale in CT
  12. I swear my butt is killing me, joking aside though he has found a new way to put one over on me. Because of this training I went to the other week it screwed everything up and caused my whole department to go straight to shit so it was Friday and I was still dealing with what was left of the other days load along with those accursed Minute Maid punches which take up the whole fucking cooler every time they go on add because the ware house sends enough for us to invite the whole town to a party. I am very careful to write a good order as I went a bit overboard on the last one and I go to the receivers cage to send the order and I noticed another order of 50-60 cases was already put in. I go into the menu to see what the hell it is and find out that my manager good ol Mr Slash and Burn ordered extra on top of what I had already ordered and most of it was stuff we didn't even need. As much as I would loved to delete all that extra stuff unfortunetely only receivers (back room managers) and managers can delete orders so I was stuck with it. I had all these crates full of creamers and he orders an ENTIRE PALLET of creamers. So the next day I work my load or at least most of it and there was no room for any of them. I would have put them in crates but there was simply not time so I had no choice but to stack them on the floor which is far from an ideal situation because whenever a wall load (yogurt, cheese ect...) there is always a milk load the next day and it is nearly impossible to fit a milk load into the cooler if there are boxes all over the floor. I was as I usually am off on Sunday but felt really bad for Jose who was the opening dairy clerk that day. When I came into work today things looked a lot better than I expected them too in part because the load for that day came early but am still pissed.
  13. Hello, I know I've written about this before, because I noticed my teeth grinding throughout the day, and I needed to vent some more about the full picture with me and my problems. Let me start by saying I've always been an extremely sensitive guy. And that's not a good thing when you're surrounded by peers who think crying and crap is gay. First wrong thing- my environment. Next, I've always tried my best to be the nicest person I can be. I've always cared for others, and helped out as much as I can for anyone. I've always had a ton of stress, before puberty and crap, always stressed out, as I remember. May I say insomnia does not help my case at all? Or the fact I'm also going through puberty changes and my own father is too awkward and unexperienced as a father to help me through. Basically, for the past 4 years my life has been nothing but me stressed, tired, alone, and confused. I won't touch too much on my father, because even though he can be a bit mad(he shoved my face into the ground, forcing me to do push-ups once because he got mad, and thought I heart my own sister horribly.), he's still my father, whether I like it or not. Now, today, my brother came up to me saying how he's tired of my crap, and me basically being a sarcastic douche to everyone. What? I have tried my absolute best to be caring, compassionate, and my older brother knows very well how emotional I am but he says this anyway!? I'm alone in my room typing this, trying to ask for some advice for anyone...I have no friends outside of this website with strangers...and every day at school I get called a freak. Every day. Freak. They don't realize it, and pretty soon, I know I'm going to break at school. Please, someone help me, someone who understands my stress(not a puberty thing, trust me.) my emotions, and my awkwardness.
  14. It has been a while so time for another work related rant again about my favorite person my manager, Mr Slash and Burn. I have made several rants about how he cuts hours so far back that it is becoming almost impossible to get anything done at all but he really went full retard this time. I go into work yesterday, my first day being the opening dairy clerk since coming back from my injury and I get the rather lovely surprise of finding out that there was no opening checker that day. The lady that is usually the opening checker on Wednsedays comes in at 2am to change out signs that day making her backup on those days with another girl filling that role. Since my load usually takes forever to get there on Wednesdays and they know it I had to be in the checkstand for the better part of an hour or hour and a half which is exactly how I got the injury I mentioned earlier by the way, to be fair to Mr Slash and Burn I don't think anyone predicted the Sunday after Thanksgiving would be that busy but aside from the excruciating pain it did give me an unexpected nearly 2 month break from that dump so it wasn't all bad. But of course that didn't mean I am eager to get a relapse. It was fairly slow because it was still early so I paced around back and forth most of my time up in the old torture chamber and did some stretches to keep the blood flowing which thankfully worked but is something I wouldn't have had the luxury of it was busy. Of course my reprieve was a bit meaningless since even after I got out of there I was back up there nearly every 2 seconds for the first half of my shift. You would think they would be a bit more careful with me because it is actually more expensive to pay an employee workers comp than it is to pay them to actually work but if they want to give me another 6 weeks off of work they could just give it to me and spare me another injury. As much as I enjoyed being anywhere but there going to the doctor once a week and physical therapy 3 times a week wasn't just a tad inconvenient. The load came late that day as it nearly always does on Wednesdays so I can't blame Mr Slash and Burn for that, of course one thing I will give him some credit for is giving me some backup which I don't usually get when I cover the opening dairy shift but I would still like to hear why he thought it was a good idea to not schedule any opening checker at all. Since he is a tone deaf moron when I see the doctor on Friday I will see if I can get a note so I can get a stool for if I am going to be in the checkstands for a prolonged period of time.
  15. Today I broke one of my cardinal rules for using the internet: "Never make a facebook post about your feelings." And right now I'm breaking another one: "Never make a blog post about real life problems." Over the last year and a half, I've been a semi-active member of this community and had the pleasure of meeting a lot of good people. Some of those people I feel know me a lot better than some of my real life friends... Unfortunately, that's all coming to an end. I've been having a decent year of school, but apparently decent isn't enough. I've been losing sleep over trying to keep my grades up, and it's ended badly for me. I've become more irritable and jumpy, and my grades have suffered since I've started trying as hard as I can to keep myself afloat. At the same time, two of the people I thought were my closest friends have drifted from me so they can spend time with their girlfriends, and the closest friends I still have are someone whose only real interaction with me is playing a game or two when he's not completely swamped with work and someone who's just as smart as me but incredibly annoying. After that it's the person I hang out with occasionally and the two aforementioned friends who I barely talk to due to their girlfriends. This combined stress, along with the lack of my usual outlet in playing games, has led to a further drop in my grades. This has led to my parents deciding I can spend no more than an hour on the computer all day, including doing my calculus homework (it's computer based), which usually takes about an hour on its own, 2-3 hours if it's derivatives. For about a month now this forum has been my only real source of fun and relaxation, and I can't use it anymore. Thanks for bearing with me, I know this is a pathetic thing to rant about when other people have much worse things happening, but this is basically raw emotion. This isn't my "fractalmoon" persona, this is the actual me, and the actual truth. To be honest a lot of you people are more fun to be around than any of my friends, and I'm grateful to all of you for tolerating my sometimes funny, usually annoying, antics. Thanks for having me around, Brent Singh
  16. As I have said in my last blog post the opening dairy clerk at the grocery store I work at which is about 2 days out of my week has recently been changed from 7AM-4PM to 6AM-3PM which on most days is no biggie but bites me on the ass on Wednesdays because of how late loads tend to arrive on Wednesdays. I was originally going to put this in my last blog post but since it ran so long I decided to split this into another blog post and it is how I would write the schedule for the opening dairy clerk if it were up to me. The mid shift is obvious, a 11-5 or when things are busy an 11-8 works out quite well, but anyway without further ado. Monday 7AM-4PM: Monday's wall load (yogurt, cheese, juice ect) dosen't arrive super late but dosen't arrive super early either, and with Monday loads you also get in the add items for the week which means a very large load and lots of organization work. Tuesday 6AM-3PM: Tuesday is basically Monday part II in a way, you get in a milk load which tends to arrive between 6AM-8AM which should take no more than an hour or so to break down and work. The earlier schedule gives more time to work through back stock and change out the cold displays later on and write a decent order for Wednesday. Wednesday 8AM-5PM: This is what used to be the schedule for the opening dairy clerk at my store every day because before the load schedule for my store was changed nearly all loads came in around 12. Now it is just Wednesday for the most part where this is the case. Because the load arrives so late the later schedule is necessary to have enough time to at least go through most of it. Thursday 6AM-3PM: Thursday is a tough day with both wall and milk loads coming in and sometimes at the same time. Fortunately they both come very early so this is one of the best days to have this shift. Friday 6AM-3PM: Friday is the easiest day of the week to open, the only hard part is to write the wall load order for Saturday. Saturday 6AM-3PM: Saturday wall loads tend to be huge but come early. Sunday 5AM-2PM: Sunday milk loads are among the earliest of the week sometimes coming in as early as 5AM and Sunday has a lot of morning business so getting as much done as possible before the morning rush is essential
  17. So Mr. Slash and Burn who is the woefully out of touch manager I have at the grocery store I work at who dosen't know what the fuck he is doing is out looking for scapegoats and of course yours truly is one of them. Just recently he started scheduling the opening dairy clerk which is usually my good friend Martin but 2 days a week is me 6AM-3PM instead of 7AM-4PM because of how early the loads have been coming in which on most days is no problem but on Wednesday which is one of the days I cover that shift seriously bites me in the ass. It is because on Wednesday loads are nearly always late which is a problem for 2 major reasons, first I have to write an order for the next day which is extremely difficult to do if I don't even know what the frag we even have because I barely got to work any of my load. And this of course takes time to be precise usually about a half hour to 45 minutes depending on how large the order is and how unsure I am of what we have. Sure I always print out the invoice and that does help but it dosen't exactly read like a novel and the items are in no particular order that I am aware of. And the earlier shift gives me less time to work the load which puts me even further behind. So yesterday like alot of Wednesdays my load came in late, it came in at 12:30 and because it take time for the truck driver to deliver the load I didn't get to start breaking down until 1:00. So I broke down what I could and when it was time to start writing the order at 2:00 the only things in my load I worked were a few holes for the eggs. Around 2:30 or so I send my order and I because the assistant manager wanted me to face my section because one of the higher ups was coming that took about 10 or 15 more minutes so I only got to work a few more cases before it was time to go home. So I head right up front to clock out and Mr Slash and Burn asks me how much of the load I got done and I told him the truth and he had this shocked look on his face like I just told him his mother died or something. He then proceeded to go on a bullshit story about how he supposedly "understands" that the load was late but how I "should have got more done" and how I should just not focus on stacking everything off and wheel out the major holes. Which of course sounds great in theory but when you consider the fact that I know I won't get my load done, the cooler is at least half the size it should be and I am getting both a milk load and another wall load (yogurt, cheese, eggs ect) the next day I need as much space as I can possibly get. So if I am able to at least stack everything off than making room for the next days loads will be relatively easy and Martin can easily wheel the stuff out to the sales floor once he is ready to do so. After getting that unexpected and undeserved tongue lashing I was finally able to call it quits for the day and get out of there, but ladies and gents when I come back Friday morning that unless some miracle happened I will probably walk into one hell of a mess. Probably not as bad as the mess I walked into last Friday but a pretty bad one nonetheless.
  18. Okey dokey I just had one soul crushing week I have enough rage to melt the safes at Fort Knox and it has been a while so it is time for another rant about my shitty dead end job. For those of you who haven't tuned in my manager Mr. Slash And Burn as I have called him for his amazing ability to completely and utterly fail at writing schedules which screws myself and everyone else over by not having enough help. Just last week he came up with the brilliant idea to give two keycarriers (low and mid ranked managers) off without having ANYONE cover for them which granted didn't affect me much but the higher ups at corporate sure didn't like and let him know that. But like the nice guy he is he blamed EVERYONE for it except himself by yelling at EVERYONE for EVERYTHING. He had a little chat with me this morning about how I am a big fat pathetic screw up who can't do anything right. Okay to be fair to him he didn't use those exact words, but he might as well have so for your reading pleasure I am going to provide for you a few snippets of his BS and my little rebuttles that I wanted to say so badly today that it hurts but kept my mouth shut. "When work the 7-4 shifts your section is a mess" Yes, it is because you don't schedule enough help up front so I as a backup checker in addition to already being a dairy clerk have to come up there every two fragging seconds. I have barely enough time to do anything and when I have to write an order I don't what the frag we even have back there which causes me to make mistakes. "You didn't do what I asked you to do, I face 90% of your section" Yes I did you lying piece of filth, you told me to face my section and I did granted I missed a few spots and that is my bad but you and I both know that while you did get the spots I missed that I am the one who got most of it. And yes getting the holes is important but so is getting the back room ready for the load, I know what is back there and what I need to do you can tell me if you think I should do something else instead first but you can try not being an ass about it. and my personal favorite... "You need to have a sense of urgency, if you can't cut it than I can find someone else who can" If I don't have a sense of urgency than can you please explain how I have the respect of nearly all my coworkers including most of the managers I work with current and in the past? And there is also the matter of overdoing myself on the job to such an absurd extent that I received 3 knee injuries that have taken me out of work for a couple of weeks each, one of them taking me out for an entire month. So with all due respect sir you can go fuck yourself and have a nice day.
  19. Okay ladies and gents it is time for another blog about you guess it work. I didn't get written up or anything and I haven't had any run ins with customers lately but there is something coming up that I of course am not looking forward to. As 2nd dairy clerk I am in charge whenever the 1st is off or on vacation meaning that two days a week I work 7am-4pm which aren't the most pleasant days of my week but they are tolerable. Don't get me wrong folks, I wake up early anyway so it is not that that I hate about those shifts it is that alot more is expected of me. Next week my partner in crime will be going on vacation meaning that I will be in charge the whole week which is not going to be fun, when I went on vacation back in June he only had 1 day off of course the good news is since then me and him have been training a 3rd whose training is coming along rather nicely. He learns quick, has a good attitude and an excellent work ethic but he will need a bit more training before he is ready to be the opening dairy clerk on my days or possible only day off that week. Due to my history of knee injuries and my recent back problems I am going to have to be extremely careful this next week, the last thing I need is another damned injury. Trust me ladies and gents, you do not want to deal with workers comp. They treated me so badly during my 3rd knee injury that I almost sued them, and I am not exactly the most litigious person either so you really have to piss me off to make me considering sueing your ass. It is partly due to these injuries and the fact that I don't want to be in charge that I am a 2nd and not a first, as a matter of fact I actually trained the current 1st dairy clerk after the last one was transferred to another store in the district. He is doing a good job, but him and I can occasionally butt heads on exactly how much or how little it is appropriate to order as he prefers to go a tad lighter and I prefer to go a tad heavier especially on yogurt. Perhaps in some odd way we balance each other out, in a way I am the Applejack to his Rainbow Dash or I suppose with the ordering it may be the other way around. So for that week I won't be on here nearly as much, on those shifts I check up on things real quick before I leave and I of course will catch up at night but will probably avoid the more controversial topics as I will be too exhausted to even care anyway. If I am in any way cranky or irritable during this time than I apologize in advance. Until then I am going to enjoy this one last week I have before I am the big boss.
  20. So yeah, my mom has been bitching at me for sleeping all the time. As soon as I get home from work, I take a nap. I'm always in my room. Stuff like that. First, maybe a little background is needed. I have moved back in with my parents while I'm in paramedic school. My thinking was if I live with them they can help me stay focused with studying, I can work less and do more clinicals, and all of that would decrease my stress level. Well, I was wrong. I'm still working as much if not more than before I started school. You may be asking yourself, "What's the big deal? So you have to work and go to school. Waa. Everybody does it. Quit your bitching." Granted, I'm not the only person in this world that has worked his ass off to get through school. Visiting any titty bar will prove that. But I'm quite sure my situation isn't like everyone else's. My week generally goes like this: Every Monday and Wednesday night I have school. It goes from 6PM to 10PM. Not too bad, it gives my brain a hell of a workout but it's only 2 nights a week. It's usually split between 2 hours of lecture and 2 hours of lab time. Lecture is obvious, the captain tells us stuff and we regurgitate it on or tests. Lab is sticking my classmates with needles, reading EKG strips, doing chest decompressions, dissections, what have you. Monday through Friday I work in the family business repairing showers and bathtubs. It's pretty self explanatory, I go all over the area and fix busted tubs. It's a long day of manual labor in places ranging from dirty warehouses to million plus homes and everything in between. It pays well enough, and if that's all I had to do I wouldn't be here venting. But this is a family business. I.e. my dad owns it. I.e. when he retires, I will own it. So besides doing the repair work, I have to help my dad run the business as well. Anyone that owns their own business knows what a nightmare that is. The best part? This is my part time job. For my full time job, I'm an EMT. I work for a rural EMS department north of the city. It doesn't pay as well as you might think, but it is an absolute blast. I've seen and done things most people never will. That can be good or bad depending on the situation. It gives me a sense of pride and purpose every morning I suit up and head to the station. The shifts are 16 hours long from 8AM to midnight. Being a rural service, we usually don't get too many calls. Between the 2 rigs, there are usually 5 or less. But when you factor in that because of the long transport distances most calls last about 2 hours from tone out to back in house, our days can be quite busy. If not on a call, we are free to do whatever we want. Eat, watch TV, cruise around, and most importantly: sleep. But we can't just sleep, you must keep your ears open the whole shift. Sleep to us is resting your eyes. Not very restful but better than nothing. You must be wondering: "When do you have time to this? You already have a 9 to 5." That, my friends, would be the 2 days a week I don't fix tubs. Saturday and Sunday. Some weeks I get lucky and it's Saturday OR Sunday with a weekday, replacing a day fixing tubs. But more often than you would think, it's Saturday AND Sunday. I just did that this past weekend. You know what that means don't you? 13 days straight of working. So now maybe you understand why I sleep so damn much. I've been working 10 days straight with 3 three more to go. Between the stress of school and both of my jobs, sleep and ponies are pretty much the only things that keep me going. When I finish school and get promoted, I told my dad I will be taking a break from fixing tubs to relax. At first my goal was to earn my paramedic license. Maybe what I'm really working towards is some time off...
  21. Reani

    Stress Discussion

    Stress is a hell of a thing. It's horrible. Of course, everybody knows what stress is and how it could affect us, yet a lot of us don't know we are under stress until it starts to get out of hand. The most common stress that most, if not all, of us have experienced is stress caused by school related matters, whether it be from studying for tests, getting an important project ready, or making sure Billy next to you doesn't find out you have gum. People react differently when under stress. The two different reactions to stress are mainly anger and depression. Some people experience only one of these while others experience both of them, like me. I do have to say, for the past 3 days, I have been close to just bursting into tears in class and at home because my stress has just been mounting up. Little advice: get a partner if you have to create a solution to solve a current problem for Engineering Design and Problem Solving. Stress is also very slippery. It can build up without you being aware of it. It's like Play-Doh. Take stress from having to deal with siblings, add stress from having to write that book report due very early, and mix it together with stress caused from your cat constantly showing their love for you by peeing on you (I think it's a territorial thing. She does it once every other week, or when I touch another cat in the neighborhood. I still love her a lot even though she does that). What you have now is a big stress ball created from other stress subjects. The more stress added on, the bigger it gets, and the harder it is to control it. Now, beating stress is very simple. Just relax. Your mind has to be taken away from your worry. Listen to music (happy music), have a laugh by talking to friends or by watching stand-up comedy, or write your thoughts and feelings down. That's what I'm doing right now. It feels nice to write something down a maximum of 10 people will read. Stress will not completely go away. It will lessen to near zero, but it will not go away. There will always be stress in life, no matter who you are. All you have to do is overcome it and move on. Now then, where's my cat? ♥
  22. So it has been a couple of weeks since Easter though you wouldn't know that if you were one of my fellow coworkers, soon after business slowed down a bit as it always does after a major holiday (except for the day after which for some unknown reason was ridiculously busy) but because some jackass thought it was a brilliant idea to have inventory day the Tuesday after Easter it didn't even matter. The store always looks like shit after a holiday and I am often stuck will enough back stock to feed the whole fragging town because the warehouse sent me way more than I actually needed but hey my job isn't hard enough anyway. Unfortunately that slowdown didn't last very long, customers are back and back with a vengeance things have been so unexpectedly busy this last week or so that it is literally just as busy now as it was in the weeks leading up to Easter. No really, I am not joking I Pinkie promise while Easter is not nearly as busy as Thanksgiving and Christmas it can still of course get busy. And as things get busy the likelihood of my loads actually arriving on time drops like a rock, I have had at least 3 loads this week arrive late on me. My milk load yesterday was on time but my wall load (yogurt, cheese, juice, eggs ect) was 4 hours late, with the unusually large amount of 6 wheelers in the back room I seriously lucked out big time. I may not have been able to work very much of it, but I was at least able to stack it off and get things ready for the next days milk load which is one of the largest of the week. To make matters worse Mr Slash and Burn my boss who has screwed me countless times by cutting hours so much that it is often nearly impossible for me to get anything done is doing it yet again. This time he is doing it by having my only help go home early multiple times this week while I stay even though he wants to stay far far more than I do and because he is lower on the pay scale than I am having him stay makes a lot more sense in terms of saving labor than having me stay. I know it gets me some extra cash but some things like my own sanity for example are far more important than money. I am seriously look forward to June as that is when I am going to take my vacation as I will probably need a bit of a break before we get into the 4th of July.
  23. Okay ladies and gents it is time for another work related rant, for those of you who have been keeping track of my blogs for the last several month I have against my wishes been made a backup checker in addition to my duties as a dairy clerk and really really suck at it. I suck so bad that I have gotten over 4 write ups so far, 3 of them warnings and 1 of them a formal write up which is a lot more serious. My most recent write up was last Saturday due to a mistake I made on a WIC check. WIC (Women Infants and Children) for those of you who don't know is a government voucher program for lower income mothers and their young children to buy food through the use of these special checks which say exactly what to buy and how much. The problem of course is that these checks are often written in a way that is contradictory and very confusing with a list of exceptions longer than Twilight Sparkles checklist of checklists and worst of all each check is considered a separate transaction which makes it a serious pain in the ass if a customer springs the checks on you at the last minute which has happened to me twice. Seriously I think those accursed things were invented by satan just to torment me. What I did wrong was that some WIC checks say that you can buy a certain dollar amount of fruits and vegetables and the customer went over that amount and said that they could do that. I asked this CSR (front end supervisor) right behind me if that is in fact true, she took a look at the check and said it was in fact true so I tendered it for that amount and moved onto the next customer. When I was being written up it was explained to me that I couldn't do that because the check in question said it was a maximum amount. But there are some checks like this one below for example where that is in fact not the case. So unless I am completely misunderstanding something which is likely, that supervisor also screwed up. Either way I am the most frightened I have been since I was first put in that torture chamber, I literally have nightmares over this crap. The good news is that I am one step closer to getting an exemption via a doctors note so I hopefully won't have to do this anymore. What I keep trying to tell them is that because I have Autism my brain works differently and when I am up there I get overstimulated, overwhelmed and tend to freak out and make mistakes like this because I can't stop freaking out and am horrible at multi tasking. Here is hoping that this actually works, I hate to do this but what other choice do I have?
  24. Okay ladies and gents it is story/rant time this time about last week and a little chunk of this week. First lets fast forward to the Sunday before last, I go celebrate my cousins birthday with my family, have some cake eat some Mexican food and have a pretty decent time but I start to see some little signs that I may be getting the flu. The next day I feel like I got hit by a mack truck I rarely ever get sick but when I do it is never just a normal flu it is always Bronchitis a few years ago I got so gravely ill that I was sent to intensive care and they had to shove a tire inflator down my throat so I could breathe. Okay so I exaggerated just a little with that one but I did have to use and inhaler which brought back some lovely memories of having a nasty case of Asthma in my younger years. Of course I had the exact same symptoms as that time except not nearly as bad (thank God) but still not fun. It didn't take long for me to figure out that I should just go home as even the simplest task had me gasping for breath and I was so weak I could barely even lift a box but I had to pull an Applejack and stay my entire shift. So for the next two days after that I was off which was a blessing as I was so weak and sick that I stayed in bed all day and only got up to shower, go the bathroom, eat and maybe go onto the forums for a little bit. I slept for 10, 12 hours a night and slept even more most of the day yet I was still completely and thoroughly drained, Eating which is normally one of my favorite activities was extremely painful and unpleasant, my breathing difficulties which were bad enough became a lot worse when I tried to eat so I often stopped eating when I was still hungry because I couldn't take the pain anymore. Thursday I was supposed to come in at 7AM but knew that there was no way I would possibly be able to handle a shift like that so I called in sick Wednesday night. When Friday rolled around I came back to work for a day and my God did it suck, yes I was getting better but I was still very weak and had another 7AM shift the next morning so I expressed some concerns about that. So I was let off the hook and didn't have to work the next day and I was off Sunday anyway like I usually am so I had the weekend. So I come back Monday and find a rather nasty surprise, 2 pallets of Minute Maid punches meaning of course that they would go on add Wednesday and take up my entire cooler the whole damn time like they always do. Seriously I can't even put into words how much I hate those fucking things, I really seriously do. So I had to spend half of my shift down stacking at least one of the pallets so I would have room for the next mornings milk load which because we were out of EVERYTHING was going to be at least 2000 pieces (yes you heard that right). Lifting all those boxes which normally wouldn't be a big deal for me left me seriously winded and I was ready to go home, but because there wasn't enough checkers and we had a rush I had to stay until things calmed down. I was so exhausted I could barely think straight and I had customer after customer rushing through my line while all I wanted to do was run out the door and never look back. Even if I wasn't struggling not to hack up a lung I still wouldn't want to stick around because I hate being up there and I had to be at work at 7AM the next morning and wanted to eat my dinner and get some rest. So the next day I have to deal with the monster milk load which I mentioned earlier, sure because everything was so empty it was a lot easier to count and fit in the cooler but due to immense size of it just how many holes there were on the shelf and the fact that I was still weak from my flu it took me 3 hours to break down and work it which it usually only take 1 hour and a half hour for 1 day milk loads. I wasn't even half way through my shift and I felt like I went a few rounds with Muhammad Ali. I don't know how I found the time but I was somehow able to finish all the repack, send in a pretty decent wall order for today (yogurt, cheese, juice ect....) and at least be able to change out the bottom two shelves of the big end which got rid of some of those accursed punches. So now I have the next couple of days off and am for the first time actually starting to feel normal again, I still have a bit of a cough am still congested and still have breathing difficulties but I am at least over the worst of this, So I am going to get my rest and take care of a few things before Friday when I get another 7AM shift of course by then I should be fine.
  25. Yesterday I posted a blog update roughly 10 minutes before I had to leave for work and because of the rush job it didn't exactly get the point I wanted to get across as clearly as I would have liked. While I confess I don't put all that much effort into my blog posts in general when my only comments are "I had a hard time following that, due to the way you made your sentence structure." and "I had a hard time following that due to not knowing what a 'Milk Load' is." that tells me that I probably should have fleshed that out a bit more before posting it. I am not aiming for perfection here but I want my readers to at least understand just what I am trying to say. To clarify on those comments I don't really see how my "sentence structure" is the problem since it is not that much different than my other blogs but I will admit that grammar and punctuation sort of got thrown out the window at certain points. As for what a "milk load" is, as a dairy clerk I deal with two different types of loads and that is the milk load which is for the most part milk along with some mostly store brand juices and the "grocery deli" load or "wall load" as I prefer to call it which contains every other item in the dairy department which is eggs, 90% of the juices, cheese, yogurt and a few other things. My wall load comes in the same truck as the produce, service deli, bakery and meat department loads as part of the "combo load" so I often have to break down and separate their stuff from mine. The reason why they are delivered in two separate loads is because there is not enough room in the cooler to fit both loads at the same time and due to the highly perishable nature of those products they must be put into the cooler as soon as possible which in situations where both loads arrive at the same time which has happened before is often easier said than done. And most of the loads are in two day increments wall load schedule Monday 2 day load Wednesday 1 day load Thursday 2 day load Saturday 2 day load milk load schedule Tuesday 2 day load Thursday 1 day load Friday 2 day load Sunday 2 day load And as I have mentioned in other blog posts I am also much to my dismay a backup checker though they sometimes forget that. Of course I am starting to ramble, my point is I am not going to rush out anymore blog posts 10 minutes before I have to leave for work.