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How do you tend to cope with shame/humiliation?


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It's hard for me to feel ashamed when im not too concerned with others opinion on me. Also it depends on the scenario itself.

 

Tho i won't say i enjoy being embarrassed,i just don't really care in the end. :lol:

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I always feel shame. Most moments of my existence is permeated by overwhelming shame that I am constantly holding back. Most of the things I do in public always lead to a feeling of shame, a feeling that someone somewhere will judge it and that I am a dumbass who should have never bothered. Yes, I am that vulnerable. I always feel I must portray myself as perfect and anything less is unacceptable.

 

My method of dealing with it varies. Particularly powerful jolts of humiliation, I typically just start crying until it goes away. I fall into a temporary depression until I just run away from it completely and pretend it never happened, constantly pushing it out of my mind. I am trying to improve my method lately and it is vaguely working on the smaller things. I try to tell that consistent feeling of humiliation that it is illogical. And even when the shame is based on more legitimate situations, I try to remind myself that I am human and I make mistakes, that I don't have to feel that shame. I can feel bad about it, but not shame. Mistakes are mistakes. Sometimes they can be fixed and sometimes they can't, but you can't go back in time and stop it from happening, so there's no point in dwelling on the shame. I have to keep hammering this into my head constantly. 

 

In short, how I deal with it is a lot of hard work.

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Reminds me of a question in the Hogwarts Sorting quiz.

 

I'd basically attempt to laugh about it, pretending it's all cool to save myself from getting much pity.. Even though "I'd be hurt in the inside".

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As a cosplayer, I too get to have the feeling of humiliation and also the "stare of deviance." Last time, I danced and sing while walking because I was listening to some Weird Al Yankovic music and it's fun to dance to his songs. Then at one point, these kids in a car called me and of course were yelling something but I couldn't here it because HEADPHONES. So this is what I did.

 

Are you reading?

 

ARE YOU?!

 

Then

 

 

haters_gonna_hate_1_by_mezkalito4p-d4bxy

  • Brohoof 2
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I have no shame and I rarely get humiliated. I make a point of making it known that I don't know anything about something so I don't make a fool of myself when talking about or doing it.

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I dont it makes me feel very bad for the rest of the day then when I remember that event another day it comes back to bite me in the ass and bothers me even more until I get over it

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Shame is over-rated. I usually just laugh things off, and being socially oblivious combined with not giving a damn takes care of the rest. i'll make a mental note that whatever embarrassing situation I was in for future reference, but life goes on, best to just laugh it all off.

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Three different options depending on what mood I'm in

 

Laugh it off then think back in one of my thinking sessions then have a CRIIIINGE moment

Put it in the storage space next too my anger then let them both explode at once later on, hopefully in a safe environment

Humiliate the person that humiliated moi, usually by bringing up past faults/worst fears but this one depends on what my relationship is with them.

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(edited)

I usually just get quiet and won't talk, maybe I'll start to distance myself from people for a while, maybe not really eat much of a meal or two, or maybe non at all. On occasion I may talk to someone about it, or rant about it or something, maybe play a video game or two to distract myself from it. But generally I just kinda bottle it up and move on many times.

 

I don't really know if there is a time I can remember being humiliated right off the top of my head though. I usually feel ashamed when I do something incorrectly though at all, as I don't like to do things incorrectly. Many times I avoid doing things if I don't know if it'll go over well.

 

But I can't really think of specific examples honestly.

 

Sometimes I just laugh it off and try and make a joke, but usually my jokes suck and just make things worse lol.

Edited by Zygen
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I watch the Brazil/Germany World Cup Semifinal match to remind myself that I don't have it so bad

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Well, when I make big mistakes and get "humiliated" (people are usually polite enough not to mention anything).

 

I respond in one of two different ways. If people pretend they did not see it, then I'll just do the same.

 

Or, if it's too obvious, I'll just try to justify myself the best way that I can.

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  • 4 years later...

Well anytime being a "rookie" to any job I want to, you'd get that a lot. I'd not take it personal. Because they just want think they're all that and its best not to give them that.

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The only way to deal with humiliation is to own it, completely. If I make a complete ass out of myself I will be the first to make a joke at my own expense, which diffuses the shame and makes it into something where I can laugh along with everyone else and not feel as much like the center of all the embarrassment. If you don't show vulnerability when you're embarrassed, it's not so big a deal. Just turn it into an opportunity for a good chuckle. 

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