Reasons why having first love experiences at a late age sucks

[RainbowMau 291]

Sadly at my age I have to resign to this:

 

- I'll never experience young love, by the opposite I forcedly have to start by going through those horrible adult relationships

- No more young-looking crushes, I'm not allowed to that anymore, my first GF will look like a mature woman

- Dating a girl (or should I call her a WOMAN?) is like dating my mother, and I bet a girl who thinks like me thinks the same about guys

- Brain fully developed, that means no emotions when in love

- No more sweated hands and no more butterflies in stomach, those years are over and I didn't experience them

- People won't see my GF as it but as a WIFE

- No more dates to cons

- No more passing papers to tell her I love her

- No more innocent love, it's all about disgusting sex

- Money, cars, carreer are more priority than feelings in adult stupity

- Maturity, that fucks up everything

 

So what are your reasons?

Edited July 26, 2014 by RainbowMau

[Mlpfan185 1,763]

Something was here. Something was here. Something was here. Something was here. 

Edited October 10, 2018 by NONAME

[Sir Hugsalot 8,619]

- I'll never experience young love, by the opposite I forcedly have to start by going through those horrible adult relationships

 

And is that really bad thing? Define Your meaning of "adult relationships", please, as I don't know, what to say here.

 

- No more young-looking crushes, I'm not allowed to that anymore, my first GF will look like a mature woman

 

You're probably right, but mature-looking woman can still be child at heart (and that is not always bad thing) Looks are not everything. Other thing - some mature women still look very young. To the point, where my 25 years old friend still has to give her ID in shops to prove she is an adult when buying alcohol.

 

- Dating a girl (or should I call her a WOMAN?) is like dating my mother, and I bet a girl who thinks like me thinks the same about guys

 

I doubt, that girl who is about 28 years old looks and behaves like 50 or even 60 years old woman. Sorry, but here You are wrong. 

 

- Brain fully developed, that means no emotions when in love

 

Once again You're wrong, emotions don't disappear when brain is fully developed. If they did, then barely any marriage would survive, besides to this day I see many older couples being happy. 

 

- No more sweated hands and no more butterflies in stomach, those years are over and I didn't experience them

 

Once again You will forget about those words, once You find a girl or a woman as You call her that You will fall in love with I heard many people saying it, all of them were wrong xD

 

- People won't see my GF as it but as a WIFE

 

Who cares? It is Your girlfriend, not their. It is their problem, not Your. 

 

- No more dates to cons

 

To cons? Sorry, but english is my secondary language, can You please explain it?

 

- No more passing papers to tell her I love her

 

No big deal, please, now even very young teens barely do it. And I doubt age has anything to do with it. 

 

- No more innocent love, it's all about disgusting sex

 

No. It is not about disgusting sex, because even when in relationship with someone it takes some time to take that step most times. Unless You are inmature or care only about sex, but that is entirely different matter. I doubt You'd ever be interested in girl like this and, lucky to You not many girls would be "all about disgusting sex". 

 

- Money, cars, carreer are more priority than feelings in adult stupity

 

No. For some - indeed, they are, but for others they are not. On the other hand there are many teens too, who care only about money and things like expensive cellphones that they get for their parent's money. It is not "adult stupidity". Because it happens no matter how old You are and not everyone is like this. 

 

- Maturity, that fucks up everything

 

Nope. I am mature yet I can act childish (and mostly I toss my maturity away unless it is needed), in work, yes, sometimes it is useful, but irl... do You really think adults don't know anything about fun? You should come to Poland, my family would teach You a thing or two xD 

 

 

 

Also read post above, because it also has great points. 

[Mlpfan185 1,763]

Something was here. Something was here. Something was here. Something was here. 

Edited October 10, 2018 by NONAME

[Sir Hugsalot 8,619]

CONS = Conventions

EG: Bronycon

Then I also disagree with that point - there are girls who would gladly go there. It's all about similiar interests. Thanks for clarifying this for me /) 

 

 

Yep, pretty much. I am jaded from a really bad breakup years ago, and I even find myself falling into this trap occasionally. 

 

I was not in a relationship, but I too lost someone important year ago... I know, how You feel *hugs* 

[Mlpfan185 1,763]

 

Something was here.Something was here.

Edited October 9, 2018 by NONAME

[Sir Hugsalot 8,619]

Every present love is a painful future and a longing past. Each person you open your heart to, is someone that will leave. They may walk away. They may think away. They may be buried away. If they don't, you will. Someone has to go first, and love will make sure it hurts.

 

It hurts so much.

 

*hugs* Right Back

It does hurt, but sadly this is, what we are like. Many people say that they "will never fall in love again" but they are just lying to themselves. I was in love already, more than one time, but I had bad luck so far and I know too well how painful it can be. Even now after all of this I still can't say I can stand being left by person that I love. 

[Mlpfan185 1,763]

Something was here. Something was here. Something was here. Something was here. 

Edited October 10, 2018 by NONAME

[Sir Hugsalot 8,619]

I kept one of her pictures, but it is turned around in the frame. Still, after all these years, I can't look at it.

Alas, I believe our war stories are hijacking this young chap's thread.

I don't really keep the pictures or anything. Also I was just able to forget about those from pasts, I feel no emotional attachment to them anymore as when thinking logically in most cases I was just a toy to them. 

 

And You have a point, if You wish to talk further You can send me a PM

[Malinter 3,064]

Sadly at my age I have to resign to this:

 

- I'll never experience young love, by the opposite I forcedly have to start by going through those horrible adult relationships

- No more young-looking crushes, I'm not allowed to that anymore, my first GF will look like a mature woman

- Dating a girl (or should I call her a WOMAN?) is like dating my mother, and I bet a girl who thinks like me thinks the same about guys

- Brain fully developed, that means no emotions when in love

- No more sweated hands and no more butterflies in stomach, those years are over and I didn't experience them

- People won't see my GF as it but as a WIFE

- No more dates to cons

- No more passing papers to tell her I love her

- No more innocent love, it's all about disgusting sex

- Money, cars, carreer are more priority than feelings in adult stupity

- Maturity, that fucks up everything

 

So what are your reasons?

Their are adults who seek out relationships that have no sex at all, save for reproduction should it develop to that level.

 

Love is probably more innocent as an adult than it is as a young teen because more about getting notches on a bed post. Adults seek lifelong partners, not quickies.

 

The brain feels emotion at any age when in Love, the only difference is one develops a deep understanding of its consequences as an adult where as to a teen they're more whimisical feelings.

 

Your GF will be a woman, how is that bad? Unless your dating one who is 20 years older than you she'll never be like your mother.

 

If people think she is your wife and not your gf, just correct them on the situation. If she does become your wife then why are you complaining about it?

 

Maturity can bring wisdom. Don't let other adults making foolish decisions make you believe otherwise.

[Luna 831 465]

Sadly at my age I have to resign to this:

 

- I'll never experience young love, by the opposite I forcedly have to start by going through those horrible adult relationships

- No more young-looking crushes, I'm not allowed to that anymore, my first GF will look like a mature woman

- Dating a girl (or should I call her a WOMAN?) is like dating my mother, and I bet a girl who thinks like me thinks the same about guys

- Brain fully developed, that means no emotions when in love

- No more sweated hands and no more butterflies in stomach, those years are over and I didn't experience them

- People won't see my GF as it but as a WIFE

- No more dates to cons

- No more passing papers to tell her I love her

- No more innocent love, it's all about disgusting sex

- Money, cars, carreer are more priority than feelings in adult stupity

- Maturity, that fucks up everything

 

So what are your reasons?

all of the stuff about money is trash thats all people care about thankfully i care about more

[ReGen 1,466]

- I'll never experience young love, by the opposite I forcedly have to start by going through those horrible adult relationships

 

"Forcedly"? Who's forcing you? Only you yourself can force you to date, unless you live in ancient India. And even then, it was only the women who were forced into marriage... 

 

- No more young-looking crushes, I'm not allowed to that anymore, my first GF will look like a mature woman

 

Okay, first off: Are you really complaining about this? I don't see how this is a complaint.  :comeatus: And secondly, why so worried over looks? There's more to a person than their appearance. Not saying that it doesn't play a role but it shouldn't be a primary factor, in my honest opinion.

 

- Dating a girl (or should I call her a WOMAN?) is like dating my mother, and I bet a girl who thinks like me thinks the same about guys

 

...I'm pretty sure your mother is older than the women you seem to prefer. And besides, don't you love your mother!? 

 

- Brain fully developed, that means no emotions when in love

 

Doesn't a fully developed brain mean you'll feel actual love instead of hormonal bull ship?

 

- No more sweated hands and no more butterflies in stomach, those years are over and I didn't experience them

 

So in other words, no physical signs that tell you when you're in love? Again, how's that a complaint? Those feelings are the worst.

 

- People won't see my GF as it but as a WIFE

 

Well, uh... married couples normally have rings on their fingers. And again, how's that a problem? It's just labels, really.

 

- No more dates to cons

 

Who's stopping you? If she wants to, then she'll go with you. If she doesn't, then oh well.

 

- No more passing papers to tell her I love her

 

Nobody's stopping you.

 

- No more innocent love, it's all about disgusting sex

 

Actually, i'm sure it's the other way around. Otherwise, it will be all about that disgusting sex if you date the wrong person. 

 

- Money, cars, carreer are more priority than feelings in adult stupity

 

Well, obviously. You need a career to make money, you need money to live ('cause this is a capitalist soceity) and you would also need money for a car to get to your career. Life ain't free, as someone put it before me.

 

- Maturity, that fucks up everything

 

Now, how exactly? You're only as mature as you want. Maturity is a state of mind, brother. 

 

And from reading this, you seem to have a very pessimistic view of the world. Hey, be glad that you're not in your 40's! Those guys have less of a chance than you. So lighten up! Have fun with being 28, because it doesn't last forever!

[Shanks 10,811]

You really need to get over all of these ridiculous hangups and just enjoy yourself, I know you aren't going to want to hear this and this may come off as a bit harsh but for your own good I think you need to hear this. Nobody is going to want to go out with you if you keep feeling sorry for yourself and dwelling on the past. Alot of people when they "grow up" let their inner child die and that is sad and pathetic but part of actually growing is not only not letting your inner child die but also balancing that out with your responsibilities. Most of those things you mentioned that you supposedly can't have are you actually can with the right person and the right attitude. So you can't have some "young" girl without coming off as some creepy pedophile, this is a bad thing why exactly? You don't want it to be entirely about sex I can understand but there are a lot women who feel the same you do about that. I am late to the party to when it comes to dating but I know that none of this "forever alone" or feeling sorry for myself stuff is going to help so I don't put myself through that.

Edited July 26, 2014 by EarthbendingProdigy

[RainbowMau 291]

Their are adults who seek out relationships that have no sex at all, save for reproduction should it develop to that level.

 

But girls ask for children so bad at this age, sadly her biological clock is on it's countsown, and it's not even their fault sadly.

 

Love is probably more innocent as an adult than it is as a young teen because more about getting notches on a bed post. Adults seek lifelong partners, not quickies.

 

Then why do younger people call themselves with cute nicknames, give stuffed animals and ave fun dates? Do you see that in an adu... (Sorry, I won't say the complete word anymore, I hate it!)

 

The brain feels emotion at any age when in Love, the only difference is one develops a deep understanding of its consequences as an adult where as to a teen they're more whimisical feelings.

 

I don't want to understand consequences, I'm not interested in them, cause thinking that just limits minds, and that may suck in a first relationship.

 

Your GF will be a woman, how is that bad? Unless your dating one who is 20 years older than you she'll never be like your mother.

 

It's bad! I'm not sure how to explain it! (OK, no more "woman" word anymore, I'll call them "girls" from now on no matter how old they are) But having someone mature as first love is not nice and it's not special! And to give you an example about being mothery my childhood friends always treat me as if they were my parents.

 

If people think she is your wife and not your gf, just correct them on the situation. If she does become your wife then why are you complaining about it?

 

Marriage disturbs me, I don't want it yet, I'm not even close to that, and confusing us for that just disturbs me.

 

Maturity can bring wisdom. Don't let other adults making foolish decisions make you believe otherwise.

 

Maturity can bring bitterness, closed minds, zero enthusiasm and not having fun, and I can tell you cause my workmates doube my age and I can see it.

 

Ugh! Stupid 20-character rule, I wasn't going to post anything here!

Edited July 26, 2014 by RainbowMau

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,671]

At least explain where you're getting all these ideas from? Seeing as enough people have taken their shots at them.

 

It's peer pressure, isn't it?

[RainbowMau 291]

At least explain where you're getting all these ideas from? Seeing as enough people have taken their shots at them.

 

It's peer pressure, isn't it?

 

People at forums have told it to me, I've seen it in mature couples close to me and I compared it with young couples I know, for instance my sibligs and their husband/wife, they act more like my uncles than like my siblings and siblings in law. Plus I started dreaming to have my first girlfriend, kiss and date when I was 15, but it never happened, and I see a different acting in couples my age and I hate it, it's not fun, innocent, audacious and cute anymore.

Yep, pretty much. I am jaded from a really bad breakup years ago, and I even find myself falling into this trap occasionally. 

 

I was not in a relationship, but I too lost someone important year ago... I know, how You feel *hugs* 

 

I'd give and arm to be both in your shoes!

Edited July 27, 2014 by RainbowMau

[A goat 323]

Celestia, is that what i'm gonna have to go through when I'm older?

[Mlpfan185 1,763]

Something was here. Something was here. Something was here. Something was here. 

Edited October 10, 2018 by NONAME

[A goat 323]

Maybe, maybe not. That is the fun part about life! You never know.

If I don't, I'm going to listen to this song on repeat until I know what to with myself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-pRcfVXfsA 

Edited July 27, 2014 by A goat

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,671]

 

 

People at forums have told it to me, I've seen it in mature couples close to me and I compared it with young couples I know, for instance my sibligs and their husband/wife, they act more like my uncles than like my siblings and siblings in law. Plus I started dreaming to have my first girlfriend, kiss and date when I was 15, but it never happened, and I see a different acting in couples my age and I hate it, it's not fun, innocent, audacious and cute anymore.

 

When it comes to young love, it's really a double-edged sword. I've met with young people who were on the verge of suicide because of a past relationship having gotten broken up (I am in no way whatsoever implying it's shameful). Point is, it works both ways. If anything, be happy you didn't get into a traumatizing relationship while in such a vulnerable moment of your life because that could have dealt much more damage than what you are experiencing now.

 

Another thing; get yourself away from all this noise you're being exposed to. Get your head cleared and think for yourself. I suggest that if you're not going to be truly accepted by your friends and family after everything you tried, just stop bothering. Find better friends for companionship. 

 

Best I leave it at that... I'm not the best person to be talking about this because I've been growing callous as of late which might make things turn even more sour for you if I'm not careful. I understand that inclination to look to others for answers but that doesn't always work. Sometimes you need find the answers on your own. What I'm sure of though is that you need to be able to think for yourself. 

[Mlpfan185 1,763]

Something was here. Something was here. Something was here. Something was here. 

Edited October 10, 2018 by NONAME

[DubWolf 16,574]

I just want to say that I want to grow old with someone, not feel like I WISH they could have been in my life much longer like some are fortunate to have. The clock continues to tick.

Edited August 5, 2023 by DubWolf

[RainbowMau 291]

"Forcedly"? Who's forcing you? Only you yourself can force you to date, unless you live in ancient India. And even then, it was only the women who were forced into marriage... 

 

 

Okay, first off: Are you really complaining about this? I don't see how this is a complaint.  :comeatus: And secondly, why so worried over looks? There's more to a person than their appearance. Not saying that it doesn't play a role but it shouldn't be a primary factor, in my honest opinion.

 

There are physical atributes I don't like in a potential GF, just as there are physical attributes on me that are the reason why no girl has a crush on me, don't I have the right to choose too?

 

...I'm pretty sure your mother is older than the women you seem to prefer. And besides, don't you love your mother!? 

Mother is only one, and I don't want another mother, I want a best friend!

 

Doesn't a fully developed brain mean you'll feel actual love instead of hormonal bull ship?

 

No. Thinking too much fucks up a good first relationship.

 

So in other words, no physical signs that tell you when you're in love? Again, how's that a complaint? Those feelings are the worst.

 

I don't care! I want to feel them!

 

Well, uh... married couples normally have rings on their fingers. And again, how's that a problem? It's just labels, really.

 

If marriage disturbed you you'd understand.

 

Who's stopping you? If she wants to, then she'll go with you. If she doesn't, then oh well.

 

Who wants to do it at this age? No one!

 

Nobody's stopping you.

 

Yes: Work, rules and lack of girls in my enviroment!

 

Actually, i'm sure it's the other way around. Otherwise, it will be all about that disgusting sex if you date the wrong person. 

Sex is disgusting for me, no matter if it's with the right or wrong person.

 

Well, obviously. You need a career to make money, you need money to live ('cause this is a capitalist soceity) and you would also need money for a car to get to your career. Life ain't free, as someone put it before me.

 

Does that mean my wallet is more important than me? Isn't it the same you mentioned about appearance?

Now, how exactly? You're only as mature as you want. Maturity is a state of mind, brother. 

As I answered there are mature people in my enviroment which behaviours are making my life boring as hell.

 

So there are my answers in red, I couldn't be more clear.

[Malinter 3,064]

Not all women want babies, you know. In fact some are quite happy to never have kids. Ever. (which given it's 9 months of emotional turmoil, risk and stress, is understandable. The male equivelent of this is like being run over by a tank... repeatedly).

 

Girls become Women. Get over it. Its like a pokemon that'll evolve if you so much as look at it.

 

You're not going to 'feel' love if your brain is stressed out six ways to Monday with all these trivial details, it'd be like wanting to hold a girls hand while knowing she has a mousetrap in it. It'll throw off your train of thought.

 

If you find sex disguisting then you've ether A/ been raised wrong or B/ let the internet warp what you believe sex is. Crazy as it sounds, some guys hate sex, not because its disgusting but because its actually hard work. not everyone is hung like a horse with insane levels stamina, also to make a woman 'in the mood' can take as long as an hour, an hour of a man being nice and waiting and showing care and patience, not the 5 minutes bullshit you see in films and other media.

 

If your scared of marriage and babies, you might have a deep fear of responsibility and that is what is turning you off the idea of older relationships.

Edited July 27, 2014 by Shire Pony Malinter

[Justin_Case001 4,855]

Honestly, @RainbowMau, I think your reasons for why first love at this age sucks are just plain wrong.  I believe that you (and I) can still have all the experiences you want.  The hard part is just finding the right person.  It's difficult, of course.  I've posted in most of your threads--I'm in the same position as you.  There's no easy answer.  It's hard to find someone.  But iffen you do find the right person, you can still have all the experiences you want.  So don't dwell on that aspect of it, at least.