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Reasons why having first love experiences at a late age sucks


RainbowMau

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I disagree with most of what op stated...and furthermore I hate being mature unless i need to sure i need to to a degree so i dont go bankrupt or become homeless! Other than that I love going to water parks, riding rollercoasters, EATING ICECREAM CONES and doing cheesy stuff like holding hands. Also I do indeed fail to see how sex is disgusting when its literally the reason every single mammal (that I know of) on this planet does so to procreate and a simple chemical in the brain is released called dopamine to reward creatures that do so with a sense of pleasure and well being without getting into too much detail.

   Also Not everyone is so shallow you just have to keep you head held high and find someone that is none of the things you despise!  

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  • 3 years later...

For me it is no different than "young love." I'm a very playful and happy individual. The only thing that can make this experience sour is if I'm combined with someone constantly talking about their ex or their first love experience sucking in which.. I will simply preserve that as a memory until he hates that he left that imprint upon me in the first place. :laugh: I'm very impressionable when I allow someone into my heart. Why allow jadedness and bad stuff to weigh you down? Love is such a beautiful thing. Let go of the bad holding you down so that you can taste the lightness of the clouds and float to the skies <3 

Edgelords hate my guts for this since they try to shoot me down from the clouds. But I'll just happily make it rain chocolate milk <3 grab a clean glass, it's fun! 

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Meh. What difference does it really make? Been single all my life and at age 32 and I don’t really see much difference. It may sound too soon to say this, but from where this going for me personally, I don’t think I will be persuading relationships nor care to be in one.  I suppose you can say as you gotten older, you become  more stoic and indifferent to the point you don’t   feel anything actually. Because that’s how i am. 
 

Granted, I have fallen in love once before in my younger years. However I believe it turned out just to be “obsession” rather than genuine love. Nevertheless, whether, it’s love or obsession, it was one of the greatest experience to feel. It felt like something sparks  of realization that you have fallen for someone. The feeling of something good for certain for once, rather than something that makes me feel awful. That kind of feeling. 

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I've been in various romantic relationships, dated various folks, and honestly, I don't want to say relationships are overrated... But I do think people overrate just how important they are. Suddenly falling in love won't fix all your problems, even if it seems like it might. You're going to be the same person, with the exact same flaws and issues. For that reason I think it's better to focus on improving yourself and loving yourself rather than try and impress other people or chase after a relationship.

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(edited)
59 minutes ago, Iforgotmybrain said:

I've been in various romantic relationships, dated various folks, and honestly, I don't want to say relationships are overrated... But I do think people overrate just how important they are. Suddenly falling in love won't fix all your problems, even if it seems like it might. You're going to be the same person, with the exact same flaws and issues. For that reason I think it's better to focus on improving yourself and loving yourself rather than try and impress other people or chase after a relationship.

The more you chase the love the more it runs..?

i don't give  a damn anymore I'm 23 already hah

haven't had a date in years

 

 

Edited by ponyyo
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The problem comes with the older you are, the less people around your age who isn't happy in a relationship or has children.

You might have all the chemistry in the world with someone, but it doesn't matter because stability is all people are looking for at this point and the most stable prospects are already taken for that exact reason.

Then finding anyone with a significant yet appropiate age gap is awkward and will give you a terrible time. It won't matter to either you or that person if you have chemistry, the only thing that matters is that you're a couple meme generations older (probably dank memer and the othe person is surrealist memer or crap like that, maybe just 5 years of gap). This will torture you and keep the other person doubtful about your intentions.

Is a lose/lose the older you get. Find someone while there's still hope. You don't want to be close to 30 and single.

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3 minutes ago, Jesse Terrence said:

The problem comes with the older you are, the less people around your age who isn't happy in a relationship or has children.

You might have all the chemistry in the world with someone, but it doesn't matter because stability is all people are looking for at this point and the most stable prospects are already taken for that exact reason.

Then finding anyone with a significant yet appropiate age gap is awkward and will give you a terrible time. It won't matter to either you or that person if you have chemistry, the only thing that matters is that you're a couple meme generations older (probably dank memer and the othe person is surrealist memer or crap like that, maybe just 5 years of gap). This will torture you and keep the other person doubtful about your intentions.

Is a lose/lose the older you get. Find someone while there's still hope. You don't want to be close to 30 and single.

Hey!!! Im 33.... Besides its what surounds you that will definitely influence you more.

I noticed when i suround myself with bronys i get a little bit more derpy.... While if im at work a little bit grumpy and horny ( dont ask thats just how where i work makes everyone there feel...)

I on the other hand found someone the same age as me ,im just 2 days older than her.

Aaand dosnt suck. You know why? Cuz we the same at this being a first time ish love. 

Hence people saying it sucks.... Is all reasons.

Hence the title... Reasons.

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14 minutes ago, Kujamih said:

Hey!!! Im 33.... Besides its what surounds you that will definitely influence you more.

I noticed when i suround myself with bronys i get a little bit more derpy.... While if im at work a little bit grumpy and horny ( dont ask thats just how where i work makes everyone there feel...)

I on the other hand found someone the same age as me ,im just 2 days older than her.

Aaand dosnt suck. You know why? Cuz we the same at this being a first time ish love. 

Hence people saying it sucks.... Is all reasons.

Hence the title... Reasons.

Meh, you don't count for this kind of things. You're a reality anomality by yourself, kujah

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(edited)

Meh, I would be careful with dating the women with the divorce history because then I will know that they didn't really want to be married with someone else. Preferably I would want to have someone without a baggage or someone who wouldn't sound crazy.

Edited by RDDash
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I used to want to be in a romantic relationship with someone, and I still do somewhat, but I highly doubt I have the capability to love someone enough to be in a relationship with them. I'm dead inside, so it's already too late for me to find a lifelong partner despite the fact that I'm in my 20's. Besides, romance isn't all rainbows and butterflies. You search for ages trying to find your lifelong partner, only for them to break your heart once you've found them.

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I have never even had a kiss and I'm older than many of you, it kinda hurts to think no woman has ever found me attractive or interesting or whatever. I'm just so socially awkward and incompetent at that sort of thing. I always worry I'm weirding people out and am always nervous in conversation. Honestly I just want to meet a girl who shares my love of pony but those seem so rare. I even go to conventions yet I can hardly speak to other guys there let along girls. I might be able to say a sentence or two but then I can't think of what else to say so I disengage. It feels very hopeless.

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Now that I’m nearing 30 I’m a lot different of a person now then I was in my teens/early 20s. I’m more emotionally mature and understanding of other people and their feelings. Something I wasn’t back in my younger days. I’m kind of glad I didn’t have any real romantic experiences when I was younger. They’d just mean a lot more to me now then they would have back then.

That aside just about all of my cousins started having families/hooking up when they were younger and…..their love lives are crazy. Cheating, abuse, etc. To this day when I meet grandparents and hear stories on some of my cousins…..it’s insane and sad. Most recently it was finding out my cousin a few years younger than me was arrested a few times for drugs. She got involved with a guy a lot older than her right after she graduated high school and he got her hooked on drugs. She’s stolen from other family members and everything. I have a cousin out in Texas who ended up in the same boat. Got hooked up with a guy who did drugs and ended up on them herself. It’s just sad. Especially because I knew them before they got hooked up with these guys. They both were really intelligent and had fun personalities. I never would have saw this coming for either of them. All because they got hooked up with two bad people when they were younger.
 

It’s hearing all these sort of stories from my grandparents and other family members over the years that has me like. I’m ok with being single. 

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I mean, I am 27, and I have no so much had a kiss, been on a date, held someone's hand, or anything like that. Which I suppose is very odd for a girl my age, but I lack any and all social skills, and I have no emotion, so I doubt anyone would want to do anything with me.

That being said, I suppose it's impossible to miss or resent what you never had.

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23 hours ago, Rarity Gemstones said:

I mean, I am 27, and I have no so much had a kiss, been on a date, held someone's hand, or anything like that. Which I suppose is very odd for a girl my age, but I lack any and all social skills, and I have no emotion, so I doubt anyone would want to do anything with me.

That being said, I suppose it's impossible to miss or resent what you never had.

I don't know if the latter is entirely true. I certainly feel like I've missed out on something in life. I'm probably guilty of idealizing what the ideal relationship would be but it's hard not to when you see others who seem to have achieved what I desire.

For me personally I am terrible with social skills and always extremely anxious/nervous when talking casually to strangers, especially women, not that there are many opportunities to talk to them casually for me. I can never think of what to say quickly enough for there not to be awkward silences and I wouldn't even dare think of trying to flirt. I don't think I lack emotion but I do strive to hide it irl.

Dating apps aren't much good for guys unless you're one of the desirable ones and I don't think many would view me as desirable. Dating apps also seem to attract certain type of people, I'm not certain how I would describe it but I just don't see the sort of people I can really relate to.

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13 hours ago, Winter Storm said:

I don't know if the latter is entirely true. I certainly feel like I've missed out on something in life. I'm probably guilty of idealizing what the ideal relationship would be but it's hard not to when you see others who seem to have achieved what I desire.

For me personally I am terrible with social skills and always extremely anxious/nervous when talking casually to strangers, especially women, not that there are many opportunities to talk to them casually for me. I can never think of what to say quickly enough for there not to be awkward silences and I wouldn't even dare think of trying to flirt. I don't think I lack emotion but I do strive to hide it irl.

Dating apps aren't much good for guys unless you're one of the desirable ones and I don't think many would view me as desirable. Dating apps also seem to attract certain type of people, I'm not certain how I would describe it but I just don't see the sort of people I can really relate to.

Given that I have no dating experience, and I can only think using logic and statistics, take what I am about to say with some grain of salt:

I have zero social skills myself. I literally have no friends. My phone never rings, there isn't anyone waiting for my call, and I don't really leave my apartment. I am not considered beautiful by my country's standards in the slightest. However, if you look at the math, even a woman as undesirable as myself could likely find a man if I was so inclined. The question is could I keep a partner? And the answer is not really. Young love is merely that: fleeting. You're not retaining anyone, so why does it matter? Focus yourself on finding romance as an adult, because that romance is far longer lasting. Who cares if you had a bunch of flings when you were a teenager or in your early 20s? None of that matters in the end.

I'm 27. I've never held someone's hand, never kissed, nothing. I get calls from my mother regularly berating me for how I'm not married, for how I have no husband yet. Do you think having a significant other when I was in high school would change my situation? No.

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I suppose it can make one feel less experienced especially if you are trying to put yourself out there. I guess through my past experiences... all I want now *relationship-wise* is simply to take my time getting to know someone rather than rushing into anything. 

I know from first hand experience... how demoralizing it is to be mocked at not being "experienced enough" from someone at my age. It can be rough on self esteem too wanting to find love at a later age. But then again I've realized that it's ok and to not give up. I know personally for me I'd rather take my time getting to know someone and build a foundation before committing to a relationship. 

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On 2023-07-30 at 7:00 PM, Rarity Gemstones said:

Given that I have no dating experience, and I can only think using logic and statistics, take what I am about to say with some grain of salt:

I have zero social skills myself. I literally have no friends. My phone never rings, there isn't anyone waiting for my call, and I don't really leave my apartment. I am not considered beautiful by my country's standards in the slightest. However, if you look at the math, even a woman as undesirable as myself could likely find a man if I was so inclined. The question is could I keep a partner? And the answer is not really. Young love is merely that: fleeting. You're not retaining anyone, so why does it matter? Focus yourself on finding romance as an adult, because that romance is far longer lasting. Who cares if you had a bunch of flings when you were a teenager or in your early 20s? None of that matters in the end.

I'm 27. I've never held someone's hand, never kissed, nothing. I get calls from my mother regularly berating me for how I'm not married, for how I have no husband yet. Do you think having a significant other when I was in high school would change my situation? No.

I sort of feel like if I ever did find myself in a relationship they'd expect me to "know better" as in having all sorts of expectations about how I'm supposed to act and what I'm supposed to do based on past relationships. The prospect makes me nervous.

7 hours ago, Fluttershutter said:

I understand. I gave up on that years ago. But the reality is if I'd had young love I'd probably be divorced with a couple of kids by now.

I wish I could give it up and not care but it just really gnaws at me.

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