What are your thoughts on teens who are way too focused on their love lives?

[Glaci 119]

The reason I thought of this thread is because my sister is exactly that type of person. Running into one relationship and getting her heart broken, just to repeat the process over and over again. This seems to be a thing among most younger teenagers like myself, and it seems kind of dumb to me. 

 

This is kind of my general reaction whenever my sister gets a new boyfriend whom she says she loves.

 

 

But really, this has come to affect some people's grades and become a way bigger part of their lives than it should at such a young age, or at any age! 

 

Do you agree, disagree? I like to hear opinions! 

 

 

[(MARVEL) Blue Blood 991]

I actually have this problem, or lack there of. I want to know what it's like to be in love, have a girlfriend, and all of that stuff. However, because of who I am, I doubt any girl would like me for who I am, and instead will judge me for what I'm into, rather than who I am.
I keep telling myself that I'm going to stop worrying about it, and just be friends with the girls, but even then, I do tend to feel left out and I still worry about what they will think of me. This is the same guy who wears a Pinkie dog tag and Sonic hat every day to school. From that description, girls would avoid me like I'm a diseased vermin. I hate to sound so negative, but that's just how I feel about this, and as much as I keep telling myself that I'm going to stop worrying about it, I start worrying about it again.

[I love Jelly Otter 477]

They pointlessly & repeatedly fall in love & fall apart until some mid 20s or 30s when they finally get tired up & realize they need to stick now with whoever picks a worn out whore (maybe even with kids already), otherwise they would end up in loneliness.

[Castle Bleck 19,164]

My thoughts?

 

Those poor, money-wasting b*****ds.

Edited May 22, 2016 by A.V.

[Derpaholic 1,155]

I don't see the problem here. If focusing on your love life is what makes you happy, then focus on your love life you should.

Edited August 16, 2014 by Derp My Life

[ReGen 1,466]

I think they should find something better to do than to constantly "fall in love" all the time. Not that it shouldn't be a part of life at all, but.. Holy crap! There's more importance in life than just romantic relationships!

 

Maybe it's just me, and i'm being a jerk because I don't view it as necessary and others do, but I still stand by my opinion.

[I love Jelly Otter 477]

I actually have this problem, or lack there of. I want to know what it's like to be in love, have a girlfriend, and all of that stuff. However, because of who I am, I doubt any girl would like me for who I am, and instead will judge me for what I'm into, rather than who I am.

I keep telling myself that I'm going to stop worrying about it, and just be friends with the girls, but even then, I do tend to feel left out and I still worry about what they will think of me. This is the same guy who wears a Pinkie dog tag and Sonic hat every day to school. From that description, girls would avoid me like I'm a diseased vermin. I hate to sound so negative, but that's just how I feel about this, and as much as I keep telling myself that I'm going to stop worrying about it, I start worrying about it again.

 

You might worry about it & make it kinda your lifestyle... or you can just deny everything around you / don't care regarding trying to please other's opinions about you & focus on how you want to be only for yourself. And if some girl (or somepony) would find you interesting then they'll stick to you.

Edited August 16, 2014 by I love Jelly Otter

[ReGen 1,466]

I don't see the problem here. If focusing on your love life is what makes you happy, then focus on your love life you should.

 

Yeah, I think I should start looking at it this way. Although I don't think it should take first priority at such an age. 

Edited August 16, 2014 by ReGen

[Ezio Auditore 702]

I really enjoy seeing two people who genuinely love each other. It's a very beautiful thing regardless of their age. However when someone finds someone that they "love" every single week, it begins to trivialize love, it reduces the concept of love to nothing, and it's very unfortunate.

[Derpaholic 1,155]

I think they should find something better to do than to constantly "fall in love" all the time. 

A good thing to remember here is the fact that teens rarely have a conception of what love actually is. Most of the teen relationships out there are based on puppy dog crushes, and that's why they self-destruct so quickly.

It's the way we discover what love is, how to love, and what it means to be in love with another person.

Edited August 16, 2014 by Derp My Life

[Nulln 754]

They pointlessly & repeatedly fall in love & fall apart until some mid 20s or 30s when they finally get tired up & realize they need to stick now with whoever picks a worn out whore (maybe even with kids already), otherwise they would end up in loneliness.

Girls are not objects, they don't become 'worn out' or 'used goods'.  and whore is being very sexist, since the guy is jumping from relationship to relationship, then he would be one too.  and kids don't suddenly make girls diseased freaks.

Edited August 16, 2014 by ScumCandy

[Jennabun 1,578]

I think it's kind of natural. Even though I was a smart kid, I was obsessed with love as a teen, always daydreaming about it and getting excited when finding the latest crush to obsess over. I would just let myself fall hard for people. I'd write about them in my diary, write tons of love poems... I loved being the star of my own love stories, even the bad love stories. It did get to a point where my heart was severely broken a few times, and I thought my life was over. But I learned a lot from that, and I feel like I became much wiser about love as an adult. Or at least I try

 

Idk. I don't worry about it that much. I work with teens, and they're all usually love-obsessed like that. They fall in love with someone new every few weeks. They write their crushes names all over their notebooks. They gossip about who likes each other, who broke up with whom, etc... it's a big part of their lives. I think, at least most of the time, it's innocent and just a normal part of a young person's life. As they get older, they'll become more well-rounded, logical people.

 

Of course, I'm speaking in generalities though. I'm sure there are teens that take "love obsession" to a dangerous level. If it does get to a point where a child is more worried about boyfriends and girlfriends more than their education, their future, their self-respect, their health, or their friendships & families, then someone needs to step in and give them some direction. This is why good friendships and involved parents are so important! We need people to watch out for teens, who are often misguided due to their lack of experience. As long as we have people willing to step in and help when necessary, teens' broken hearts will simply be a sad experience that makes them stronger, not something that destroys their lives.

[~Asuka <3~ 867]

They're perfectly fine.  I don't mind them at all.  Sure, they behave differently than I do, but that's no reason to call someone 'wrong' for behaving a certain way.  As long as they're not doing anything illegal or immoral, then it's totally fine to be obsessed with one's love life.  

[QuasarBeam 135]

It seems to me like a social-status thing as well.  There is a lot of pressure for boys to have a list of girls they have tried (at least at my school) and almost equal pressure for girls to have a guy on their arm.  Crushes are overly romanticized and a lot of teens can wander into bad relationships for the sake of being in a relationship.  I wish they would just realize that the pool doesn't dry up after highschool :-/

[Glaci 119]

A good thing to remember here is the fact that teens rarely have a conception of what love actually is. Most of the teen relationships out there are based on puppy dog crushes, and that's why they self-destruct so quickly.

It's the way we discover what love is, how to love, and what it means to be in love with another person

 

I guess for me I'm kind of pointing at the fact that it really has affected the way my sister's life is unfolding. It's practically ruining her life, and I've seen plenty of other cases of it. Not necessarily getting into a relationship in general, but more of just jumping in and out of them and ruining their self-esteem. It can definitely have an effect on people's lives.  And not with just girls, guys too! 

[CheeryFox 23,811]

That's life for ya. You test the waters each time. Looking for a soul mate. Dealing with the raging hormones. Learning life's lessons. Most ponies find a good person to love. Not all are soul mates, but that's the struggle. 

 

Live and learn. 

[ReGen 1,466]

A good thing to remember here is the fact that teens rarely have a conception of what love actually is. Most of the teen relationships out there are based on puppy dog crushes, and that's why they self-destruct so quickly.

It's the way we discover what love is, how to love, and what it means to be in love with another person.

 

Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't really judge others for doing so. 

[Glaci 119]

The thing I do is I just try not to worry about it too much, I feel like if I do I'll end up in that sort of situation.

 

In this post, however, this is just my opinion. I'm definitely not saying to abandon relationships as a teenager altogether, I'm saying that I feel like it can kind of ruin the meaning of love and have a negative affect on your life as well if you become too entangled in it. 

 

I have had two relationships before, and I like to say I was really satisfied with them, even if they didn't last. 

 

I'd rather not see people get into relationships just because "everyone else is in one" or some sort of pressured reason like that. I think it should be something you find on your own, at your own pace.

[Snow Frostflame 3,567]

my thoughts

 

open your bloody eyes mate and smell the coffee she/he will probably leave you for somepony else as it happens to everypony

[Soldier Surplus 232]

I never had a girlfriend, and I think overreacting with a break up is dumb. so.... think what you will. 

 

Forever alone...

[Inactive01 5,298]

I think the desire to find love at an early age is a very common feeling for everyone. In many ways, I felt the same back in middle school and high school. However, I was so focused on one girl that I would never give up until I knew 100% that I had absolutely no chance with the girl in question. I even felt that way for a bit in my undergraduate years. In this sense, I can fully empathize with the high school guys and girls who want to get hooked up early and get married. 

 

However, it was only recently when I began to realize that such feelings were a result of hormones and adrenaline that I felt while desiring to have a girl who felt close to me and who would love me for my strengths as well as complementing my weaknesses so that I would become a better person. I feel that although many breakups will be inevitable, that those moments aim to build a stronger person to whoever was involved with the relationship. So although I feel the pain that broken young couples go through, I realize that they probably needed that wake up call to see that love is a lot more than just a lot of similarities and a feel good concept.

[SparklingSwirls 21,261]

I'm 17, and I suppose you could say that my love life is something I focus on, since I want my relationship with my boyfriend to work for as long as it can. I've been in one other relationship, and it only lasted for almost eight months... which to me isn't very long at all. :/ When I get into a relationship with someone, I don't want to let stupid things get between us, since that seems, well, stupid. I will say that I wasn't "looking" for either of the people I've been with; I only get crushes on friends who I'm very close to and understand me really well - obviously, knowing that you'll get along with someone for a long time is important in a relationship. So with that said, I can't relate to wanting to get into one after another... it seems a little counter productive to me? I dunno.

 

Anyway, I think it's fine as long as you have strong friendships with other people and things you enjoy doing outside of your relationship.

Edited August 16, 2014 by SparklingSwirls

[Odyssey 5,713]

To be honest, I really don't know how to feel about this. Two people love each other? Good! But I do hope they realise that there is to more to life such as education. If they have a life outside their boyfriend/girlfriend as well as treat their relationship maturely instead of puppy-dog love, I might be fine with them. But most of the time, I see a lot of teenagers who try to look for love even though they should realise that it'll come to them one day.

 

This sort of desperate behaviour brings back some painful memories, despite the fact that teenagers are still learning. Not too long ago, some boy wanted to be in a relationship with me, which I accepted. But over the few months, I realised that we haven't done anything with our relationship and thought it was desperate behaviour. It didn't help he wanted to be my girlfriend on the first week I met him. After telling him I'd rather be his friend and say that this relationship is nothing but puppy-dog love, he threw a hissy fit and said nonsense such as "Oh boo, you cannot go to my house anymore because you're not my girlfriend!".

 

I think behaviour like this shows that some teens that they're overthinking their love life too much. But what do I know? This was my first "relationship" and even then, I'm honestly not interested in finding another boyfriend, either. -3-

[Fluttershyfan94 5,737]

My thoughts are same as the OP, people focus way too much on their love lives not that it's a bad thing. It's good to have an experience at a young age, but it depends on how far it will go. Me on the other hand, have no time for such things as I'm no longer a teenager. It's good I didn't waste my time focusing on some love life.

 

Conclusion is that it's good that teenagers focus on their love lives but when it's all they do. Then they have a problem, I feel like there are more important things.

[Ashen Pathfinder 16,151]

Well, to be honest, at least they're focusing on something other than things like drugs & alcohol; though I will admit that if they focus on love a little too much, then that can lead to the aforementioned things.

 

In the end, it is a learning experience for young people. They'll experience what they think is love, and they likely experience it end not long afterwards. They'll hopefully learn from that.