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Ponies Protecting Ponies: Equestria's Secret Agency


Venates
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Hey, guys, I just posted my most recent story: Ponies Protecting Ponies.

 

The premise is pretty simple: a select few background characters are members of a secret organization acting behind-the-scenes, and this story explores their involvment with Nightmare Moon's return in the first two episodes. Originally I was going to do an episode-like format with each chapter parodying a different episode from the show, but just after writing up the first two I had around thirty thousand words, and I realized that I had something much bigger on my hands. I may still treat this like a pilot or a movie that spawns a TV series kind of thing, but I'm waiting to see how reception goes first. So far I've only got the first chapter up, but the next (and much larger) chapter should be out before too long.

 

If you want more information on what this story is about and the concept behind it, feel free to check out my blog page about it; bit of a long read though.

 

Hope you all enjoy!

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New Chapter! I got a response from EQD not long ago. Sounds like they think it's good but still needs a touch more work. I've been applying those lessons to this chapter and have also started revising the previous chapters a bit; just tiny little stuff here and there. Here's hoping it pays off in the near future!

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Okay, you guys. Just posted the last chapter. I don't know for sure how many of you found interest in this, but if you did make over and gave the story a shot, I want to thank you. The story was a lot of fun to write, and I would really like to continue it if the interest is there. Hope you enjoyed the ride!

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I just got done reading the prolog and the first chapter.  This is a very well-done fic, and I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of it!  It's no small achievement to have over 1100 views, and I'm surprised this thread didn't get any replies...I guess that's not how people respond to it.  I'm starting to sense that with the fangame I posted earlier...oh, well; a front-page on EQD is a real feather in your hat; congratulations on it!

 

I'm not sure how deep into the canonical series your fic goes chronologically, but I hope it gets as far as Feeling Pinkie Keen before it ends; I can just imagine PPP having a stroke over the events in that episode!

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This fic actually just entails the first two episodes of the series, but I've got pages of notes on what I could do with later events. I may end up mostly sticking to the bigger events in the canon, like Discord and the Royal Wedding, but writing now I'm doing a bit with something more slice-of-life-y in between those events. Stuff that's isn't hugely relevant to the overall plot, but, much like episodes of the show, give us a fun and deeper look at some of the characters. I can't say too much more on that at the moment, given that I'm still hashing out a few details. I'm also not sure how far I'll take things before the alternate universe aspect of it all really come full force, as I'm not sure I can keep up a charade of this magnitude forever... I guess we'll see.

 

That out of the way, I'm really glad you're enjoying it so far! I don't know if you've had the chance to finish it yet, but feel free to let me know any thoughts you have when you do, either here or on Fimfic!

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This was a very well-done fix; you really earned your mention on Equestria Daily!  (Here's hoping they notice my work with Weather Factory Meltdown, though I kind of expect that they'll tell me I need more enemies before it's worthy of their site...)

 

I read your epilog of notes, as well, and I'd think that you're right:  option three, combined with a few elements from canon here and there, would probably get you the most bang for your buck, effort-wise and awesome-story-wise.  Especially if you cover a few key moments in the show that would work well, e.g. Feeling Pinkie Keen.  You've probably thought about that, yourself, at this point, but here's an idea if you have a use for it:  imagine that Derpy deliberately dropped those objects on Twilight because she thought Twilight was starting to get onto the PPP brigade.  So she figured, "What's the best way to make someone think no pony is protecting her?  By making things happen that some pony would protect her from!"  I mean, Twilight hiding in bushes to observe something is the kind of thing you'd do if you were trying to look into a secret society...!

 

...It's a thought.  Thanks for sharing your work!


I don't know if you've had the chance to finish it yet, but feel free to let me know any thoughts you have when you do, either here or on Fimfic!

 
I hate to say this, but some fridge logic about your story kicked in.  I'll see if I can mark this next part as spoilers...

 

If Celestia banished Nightmare Moon herself and didn't use any Elements of Harmony, and the Elements are a myth, then why did Nightmare Moon believe the myth?  I mean, she was there; she'd know there were no Elements of Harmony to speak of!

 

...Had to use a really small font size and hard-to-read color instead; I don't see a "mark as spoiler" option here...

 

Anyhow, this isn't a showstopping plot hole; there might be a reason why this would still make sense, but I figured I should bring it up.

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I'll respond to you spoiler ina similar fashion; hope it's not too much trouble to get it readable!

 

If Celestia banished Nightmare Moon herself and didn't use any Elements of Harmony, and the Elements are a myth, then why did Nightmare Moon believe the myth?  I mean, she was there; she'd know there were no Elements of Harmony to speak of!

 

The story tells us The Celestia banished Nightmare Moon, then made up a story about doing so with the Elements in order to distract Luna, should she return. It's true that we never hear from either of the princesses how exactly Celestia banished NMM without that power in the first place, but the idea is that she did it somehow with a power that was beyond NMM. In other words, Celestia did use a very powerful magic of some sort, and NMM believed that source of power had to come from SOMEWHERE. You're not the first person to bring up this plot hole, so don't feel too bad about bringing it to my attention or anything. It among a few other holes/complaints are things I'd like to address/embellish on in future installments. I've currently got pages of notes on where to go with the story next, and I've even started on the next story, though it may not be until after the holidays that I give it my full attention. You dig a pretty deep hole when you start messing with canon, and I'd like to find the best way to deal with what I've made so far as possible. Did Celestia find some power source that no longer exists? Is she simply more powerful than NMM believed? Was there yet another ancient device that was used to do this with ponies in the background? (Probably not; that one feels a little been-there-done-that.)

 

Hope that answers any questions, but I can elaborate if not. The next story will be less tossing canon into a blender and more exploring who these characters are. There's so much backstory each one has that was only hinted at in the original, and I want to take a deeper look into what makes each one tick. While doing so, I continue to add notes on what to do for the later big events. So far I can tell you that Discord will be a lot of fun, and the wedding may blow minds. At least, I'd like it to; I'd have to craft things pretty carefully to get everything just right! This is all assuming I can keep the motivation to make those stories happen, of course. You and readers like you are what keep that kind of drive alive, so for that, I really do want to thank you!

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