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What if your gf/bf didn't want to be intimate?


CosmicHooves

What if?  

70 users have voted

  1. 1. What if your girlfriend didn't want to be intimate?

    • Continue the relationship
      49
    • End the relationship
      21
  2. 2. What if you boyfriend didn't want to be intimate?

    • Continue the relationship
      49
    • End the relationship
      21
  3. 3. What if your girlfriend didn't want to be intimate until marriage?

    • Continue the relationship
      48
    • End the relationship
      16
  4. 4. What if your boyfriend didn't want to be intimate until marriage?

    • Continue the relationship
      45
    • End the relationship
      19


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The idea for this poll recently came to my mind.

 

Alright, so here's the questions:

 

1.What would you do if your gf/bf didn't want to have sex at all in your relationship?

 

2. What would you do if your gf/bf didn't want to have sex until marriage?

Edited by Big Smoke
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If I truely loved this person, than naturally the relationship continues. I'd love to not be a virgin someday, but it's not a requirement for my commitment or my happiness. Ending the relationship because of that seems shallow to me.

 

P.S. Your poll needs a N/A choices. These multiquestion polls require you to answer all the questions.

Edited by Banul
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I think sexual activity is natural and healthy for any relationship to work. I'm not saying they can't work without it but honestly in my experience it's about finding the right balance, I would be quite unhappy if I had a partner who wanted to go Celibate, especially at my age :P 

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This is a weird thing... While I stand by one thing, I don't think I would be able to stick with it... Let me explain;

 

If my gf didn't want sex, I wouldn't force her to have sex. Period. A woman has the right to choose what she does with her body or, in this case, what not to do with her body. HOWEVER! I don't think I would stay her bf. I want to have a family one day, even if nothing else. If it was just pleasure, to the porn! But I do want a family of my own flesh & blood, & if my gf wouldn't be willing to do that... Well I don't think it would work out. But I would never force her to do something she didn't want to do, so I'd rather leave if we can't make some sort of agreement to avoid any issues. Hopefully she'll find someone else, & same for me, but I do really want a family one day & I don't think I could just say screw that & never have it... Hopefully she'd understand as well. Like I said though, if we can work something out like, oh, have sex only when we want to have kids, that's fine, like I said, I have porn to deal with that. However if we couldn't even do that... Sorry love, I think we need to see new people, I hope you understand...

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It's fine with me. I've never had sex at this point, so what difference is it to me?

 

I mean, when I enter a relationship, intimacy isn't the key factor. I go in the relationship to be with her; not to eventually bed her, if you will.

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This might sound shallow, but I'd end the relationship.

 

 

  • It might end up in an affair.
  • Things might become awkward.
  • It might end up in an affair. Remember that.
How so?

Are you saying you'd give into your sexual desires and CHEAT on you partner merely because they don't want to screw?

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I do have a fairly high sex drive so I am not going to lie sex while it is not the only thing I look for in a relationship does hold some degree of importance to me. With that said "didn't want to be intimate" is kind of open ended here, do you mean never as in they want to be celibate for the rest of their lives? Or do you mean they want to wait until they are married or simply feel they are not ready for sex yet? If the answer is never then as much as it pains me to say it I would probably end the relationship, if it is wait until married then I might still continue the relationship if it is simply a matter of not being ready yet I would understand that completely and would continue the relationship.

 

Because the circumstance is not defined and is a bit open ended I can't really vote for "continue the relationship" or "end the relationship."

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This is a weird thing... While I stand by one thing, I don't think I would be able to stick with it... Let me explain;

 

If my gf didn't want sex, I wouldn't force her to have sex. Period. A woman has the right to choose what she does with her body or, in this case, what not to do with her body. HOWEVER! I don't think I would stay her bf. I want to have a family one day, even if nothing else. If it was just pleasure, to the porn! But I do want a family of my own flesh & blood, & if my gf wouldn't be willing to do that... Well I don't think it would work out. But I would never force her to do something she didn't want to do, so I'd rather leave if we can't make some sort of agreement to avoid any issues. Hopefully she'll find someone else, & same for me, but I do really want a family one day & I don't think I could just say screw that & never have it... Hopefully she'd understand as well. Like I said though, if we can work something out like, oh, have sex only when we want to have kids, that's fine, like I said, I have porn to deal with that. However if we couldn't even do that... Sorry love, I think we need to see new people, I hope you understand...

Understandable.

A family can truly be a beautiful thing.

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If my gf didn't want sex, I wouldn't force her to have sex. Period. A woman has the right to choose what she does with her body or, in this case, what not to do with her body. HOWEVER! I don't think I would stay her bf. I want to have a family one day, even if nothing else. If it was just pleasure, to the porn! But I do want a family of my own flesh & blood, & if my gf wouldn't be willing to do that... Well I don't think it would work out. But I would never force her to do something she didn't want to do, so I'd rather leave if we can't make some sort of agreement to avoid any issues. Hopefully she'll find someone else, & same for me, but I do really want a family one day & I don't think I could just say screw that & never have it... Hopefully she'd understand as well. Like I said though, if we can work something out like, oh, have sex only when we want to have kids, that's fine, like I said, I have porn to deal with that. However if we couldn't even do that... Sorry love, I think we need to see new people, I hope you understand...

 

Ever heard of artificial insemination? Or adoption? 

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Ever heard of artificial insemination? Or adoption? 

Insemination; Depending on which one you are going with, depends on my answer. If it is another man's sperm, no. I want MY flesh & blood, not another man's. If it is the latter, why can't we just... Well fuck? I mean, really, how big of a deal is it at that point? I mean yeah I guess it can work but... It just seems really roundabout for no reason...

 

Adoption; *Points to the part about my flesh & blood child*

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Accidentally clicked post before I finished writing. In short, I wouldn't end the relationship. Maybe it's because I'm young, or inexperienced, or whatever—but I find the sexual pleasure part the least important part of the relationship. If all you want is your own selfish pleasure, then I hope you stay single. I honestly doubt you'll ever find a lover if that's all you care about. 

 

Then again, I'm not against sex, and I would hope to have it at least once with a possible boyfriend or husband in my lifetime. As I've said before, however, it's not hugely important, and I choose the love we will have for each other over selfish pleasure (which can be achieved through masturbation, after all) any day.

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How so?

Are you saying you'd give into your sexual desires and CHEAT on you partner merely because they don't want to screw?

 

It is shallow but at the same time it isn't really, if one partner wants a sexual relationship and the other doesn't they aren't really fulfilling the others needs... not saying that gives the right to cheat but at the same time it gives more of a reason too and in fact is the reason why ALOT of men cheat, because at the end of the day lets face it men need sexual satisfaction on a basic level, and if they can't find it with their partner then... frustration and bad things can happen xD 

 

 

After a night of drinks, what might happen? Think about it, mah boi.

 

 

You're a real lad xD 

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Adoption; *Points to the part about my flesh & blood child*

Although I think having a baby the old fashioned way is probably a lot more fun I wouldn't rule out adoption in my case. I myself was adopted, my biological parents were very young and decided they wouldn't be able to take care of me so I was adopted out to loving parents who could.

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It is shallow but at the same time it isn't really, if one partner wants a sexual relationship and the other doesn't they aren't really fulfilling the others needs... not saying that gives the right to cheat but at the same time it gives more of a reason too and in fact is the reason why ALOT of men cheat, because at the end of the day lets face it men need sexual satisfaction on a basic level, and if they can't find it with their partner then... frustration and bad things can happen xD 

 

 

 

 

 

You're a real lad xD

 

Ugh.

And this is why I hate today's society.

Men cheating on their wives merely because they can't control their dick.

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Although I think having a baby the old fashioned way is probably a lot more fun I wouldn't rule out adoption in my case. I myself was adopted, my biological parents were very young and decided they wouldn't be able to take care of me so I was adopted out to loving parents who could.

Look I never said anything involving adoption was a bad thing, I just want my own flesh & blood, produced from my loins. It isn't like I am trying to say "Oh children in orphanages, let them rot!" I just would rather have my own child... It isn't hate it is just a personal thing, ok?

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Well this happened to me once. I got in a relationship, and she didn't ever want public shows of emotion. It made me depressed after a while that she didn't tell me her true feeling towards the subject. I finally broke up after she tried avoiding me for a week, then she got mad and spilled that she didn't want to be affectionate and slapped me.

 

Next week I got another girlfriend, and she walked into the bathroom while we were having sex in the stall. I really feel sorry for what happened, and just wished she had just told me her true feelings :(

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If it is the latter, why can't we just... Well fuck? I mean, really, how big of a deal is it at that point? I mean yeah I guess it can work but... It just seems really roundabout for no reason...

 

Well... yeah, you think it doesn't matter, but read the topic. Maybe your partner doesn't want to go to that level, because... oh, they're not ready, or they're too sensitive for such things, or maybe they feel it's too painful. But they want a baby anyway. And you said yourself that you prefer family over pleasure... so... why not? Are you going to dump a good woman because they might have reasons for not wanting to be intimate?

 

Oh well. It's not my decision to influence the way you want to spend your life. :P All I'm saying is that I read more solutions to your dilemma other than having sexual intercourse.

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I would be perfectly fine with it and commit to the relationship twice as much. I'd rather be with the one I care about and love rather than getting in bed with someone else. I can keep the brainless one pretty well under control and that kind of pleasure is short lived anyway.

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Well... yeah, you think it doesn't matter, but read the topic. Maybe your partner doesn't want to go to that level, because... oh, they're not ready, or they're too sensitive for such things, or maybe they feel it's too painful. But they want a baby anyway. And you said yourself that you prefer family over pleasure... so... why not? Are you going to dump a good woman because they might have reasons for not wanting to be intimate?

 

Oh well. It's not my decision to influence the way you want to spend your life. :P All I'm saying is that I read more solutions to your dilemma other than having sexual intercourse.

If they don't want to do that, fine. I'm not talking about gf/bf having kids, I am talking about a gf/bf talking about marriage & the like. I mean, yeah, a gf/bf stage is in no way a point to force sexual intercourse for children. All I am saying is that if she doesn't want to have kids EVER, & I do, then we have reached an impass that would would cause arguments. Which is better, cut the ties now & then or pretend like it doesn't matter until it reaches a boiling point that causes even worse fights & arguments AFTER marriage? I am not  trying to say I want a woman only for kids, or I need a woman to be intimate otherwise I'll dump them. I'm just saying an impass has been reached, & if we can't reach an agreement, then what do from there? Well we can either stay together & keep fighting pointlessly, or just say "This isn't working" & move on with our lives. If anything, that is the best option because it lets her find someone better for her since she has no desire for children, & it lets me find someone better for me who does want children. Is that really so wrong, wanting a family I created?

 

Same for her, that is why I would (& I am just going to be blunt here because beating around the bush has no purpose at this point) end the relationship. I am not going to force a woman who doesn't want to have kids to have kids, & I don't want her to force me not to have kids because she doesn't. Yes, there are the options you suggested & like I said, if we can make an agreement by all means let's make an agreement. However my suggestion was under the condition that she would only want children through natural procreation & no alternatives, at which point if we cannot make an agreement then the best solution would be to remove ties to avoid causing issues.

 

TL;DR: If someone wants kids but their partner doesn't, & under the thought process of only reproduction through natural procreation & not adoption/insemination, & they cannot come to an agreement, then either one side has to buckle & be forced to live their life having been forced into a situation they find uncomfortable/undesirable or end the relationship. In my personal opinion, the latter of ending the relationship would be the most positive outcome, as it gives both parties the ability to continue being acquaintances while still living their lives as they see fit. Hopefully this makes a bit more sense as to my thought process

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