Sign in to follow this  
ThisAccountIsDead

Humor "Funner" Isn't A Word, Imbecile

Recommended Posts

Hello again! If you've read my other stories and enjoyed, then I can only assume that this story I've recently whipped up you'll enjoy as well!


 


219221_r.png?1411776958


"Funner" Isn't A Word, Imbecile


By Pony With A Hat


Sweetie Belle discovers that her diction is above all others. What does she use it for? To insult Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara, of course!


_____________________________________________________________________


'I've sat through the same half-baked torture for years now. This day, however, I intend to switch roles with my torturers. By the time I'm done, they will lack all cognitive ability to fight back verbally and they will know what it's like! Or, at least embarrass them. Yeah, that'll be good enough, I'm not a monster after all!' Sweetie Belle thought, looking into the mirror. Her messy mane was colliding with her bemused glare. She locked eyes with her mirrored image, and combed through her hair using her levitation ability she's picked up on only a few months ago. After she was done, she hopped downstairs and sat at the table, where Rarity had placed some french toast and a note that said she 'was going to help her friend Twilight with something'. She ate the toast, grabbed her saddle bags, and flew out of the door.


The day was relatively sunny with a chill in the air. She took a deep breath, and marched to school. She met her friends halfway there and they brainstormed ideas on cutie mark ideas and whatnot. They trotted over the hill, revealing the red school house over yonder with it's usual bell placed on the spine of the roof, towards the north end of the building. The fillies and colts chattered and played around the yard until that fateful bell chimed thrice, causing them all to flood into the building and take their usual seating arrangements.


Sweetie placed her saddle bags under her chair and pulled out the appropriate, multi-subject tools. A pencil, note pad, and a good piece of literature on the side when reading time approached, which it usually came right before lunch. The school day went by without a hitch, without problems, all except for one, which Sweetie Belle anticipated and was ready for.


Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara shoved the Cutie Mark Crusaders aside in a rather rude manner on the bridge they seemed to always have their childish disputes on.


"Move aside, Blank-Flanks!" Silver Spoon insulted. Causing a childish smirk to emit from Diamond Tiara.


"Hey! We may not have our cutie marks, but at least we ain't jerks!" Apple Bloom retorted.


"Oh I bet!" Diamond Tiara agreed sarcastically.


"Speaking of which, we're having a party! Too bad you're not invited!" Silver Spoon mocked.


Something finally broke in Sweetie Belle. "SILENCE!" She shouted, her voice cracking a bit.


Diamond and Silver flinched at the random outburst.


Sweetie Belle was livid, she trotted up to them, her light green eyes piercing what felt like their very soul. "Listen here, you Imbeciles, a party isn't a party unless you invite people! Which, I do declare, you don't!" She sneered.


Diamond Tiara scoffed. "It's more funner that way!" She retaliated ignorantly.


"Funner isn't a word, you idiot! Your father spends all that money making daddy's little filly so happy but he can't invest in making sure you have a brain cell!" She shouted.


"O-oh yeah? Well you're stupid!" Silver Spoon insulted.


"Says the girl only wearing glasses TO LOOK MORE INTELLIGENT, YOU DUMB A-" She was about to finish, but a dark shadow loomed over her.


She pivoted to see what was creating such a thing. Miss Cheerilee, the school teacher, had a annoyed expression on her face. "Sweetie Belle, inside, now!" She told her with a stern tone.


"What in the absolute HECK were you doing out there?" Cheerilee asked, livid.


"I was giving them a piece of my mind, after all, they need some." She retorted without regret.


"Sweetie Belle, I know they tend to be a bit bothersome, but you can't let that get to you like it did today, now go home and get some rest for tomorrow. We're dividing fractions!" Cheerilee's expression changed from angry to placid.


"Yeah..." Sweetie belle cheered in a monotone voice, showing that she wasn't really happy about it. She hated math. Now don't get her wrong, she could do it! Though, she showed great disdain towards it.


Later that night, she had a dream that she continued that sentence with out Miss Cheerilee interrupting. When she awoke, her sister, Rarity, loomed over her with a look of disgust.


"Er, what?" Sweetie Belle asked, not sure whether to feel guilty about something or not.


"I haven't a clue what your dreaming, but keep that vulgar language out of this household young missy!" Rarity scolded.


Sweetie belle got it know, she face hoofed as she realized she finished the sentence out loud in her sleep. She did her usual morning ritual, completed the day with ease, then got half way across the bridge before being halted by none other than Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara.


"Hey, you!" Silver Spoon pointed to Sweetie Belle.


"Ugh, what?" She groaned.


"We want you to hang with us! You're mean, and we like that!" Diamond Tiara explained.


Apple Bloom and Scootaloo shot a weird look at the 'dynamic' duo and then to Sweetie Belle. Were they seriously trying to make her their friend after she bashed them brutally the day before?


Sweetie Belle took a deep breath, leaving the two groups silent for just a moment. "Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon..." She began, they leaned in.


"...I have a brain that could cure cancer, why would I waste my cognitive ability combining it with your puerile minds?" She answered.


"Er, what?" Silver Spoon asked.


"Here, let me give you the simplified version. You're stupid, I'm not, we don't mix" She concluded, walking away with her head held high. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were yelling childish insults at them as they walked to their head quarters on Sweet Apple Acres.


Sweetie Belle simply smiled, and continued walking until that dark shadow loomed over her once more.


"Sweet Celestia..."


  • Brohoof 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What a concise and eloquent little treat for the eyes. You've either practiced your pacing or you're good at it, because the rate at which things happen is actually wonderfully consistent. It's like the whole thing has one flavour, you know? I like it, almost as much as I liked seeing our little heroines score emotional crits against everyone's favourite worst young horses. Awesome.

 

Anyway, if constructive criticism should be here, I'm sure I'll think of something. There's slightly funky paragraph indentation at the start, which if someone irrationally hated you they might possibly raise, and other than that you use the word 'torture' a couple times in the first paragraph (even though one has an -ers at the end). I guess that a pro move we writers can pull off is showing off our huge vocabulary wherever we can (with "antagonizers" or "persecutors" or something instead), which is a bonus. Other than that, not much room for improvement, really.

 

So thanks for sharing dude, and I'll keep an eye out for your title later on, I think!

  • Brohoof 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What a concise and eloquent little treat for the eyes. You've either practiced your pacing or you're good at it, because the rate at which things happen is actually wonderfully consistent. It's like the whole thing has one flavour, you know? I like it, almost as much as I liked seeing our little heroines score emotional crits against everyone's favourite worst young horses. Awesome.

 

Anyway, if constructive criticism should be here, I'm sure I'll think of something. There's slightly funky paragraph indentation at the start, which if someone irrationally hated you they might possibly raise, and other than that you use the word 'torture' a couple times in the first paragraph (even though one has an -ers at the end). I guess that a pro move we writers can pull off is showing off our huge vocabulary wherever we can (with "antagonizers" or "persecutors" or something instead), which is a bonus. Other than that, not much room for improvement, really.

 

So thanks for sharing dude, and I'll keep an eye out for your title later on, I think!

Thank you, my friend! I've actually been writing for a few years now and recently released this on Fim Fiction. I would send you a link, but since I write the occasional clop, I won't be able to provide you with one publicly. With that said, pm me if you are interested. Now, the indent problem was actually a small glitch with the transfer, since I just copy and pasted the story from my original post to here!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's my absolute pleasure! But, I'm afraid I'm not actually on Fimfiction right now (pathetic, I know) but that'll certainly be happening sooner or later. And I'll keep your offer in mind for when it does!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hahaha nice one. That was a good read :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Join the herd!

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.