adventure Captain Rarity, Mistress of the Sapphire Sea, First chapter

[Obsidian Sky 14,004]

All i did so far was to write little ficlets, but now i gathered enough experience and confidence to write a real fan fiction (i hope at least). This is the result of it. The first chapter of a story about love, friendship, pirates, booty, fablosity, and Suri being a douche.

 

I would love to have feedback and suggestions! Don't hold back, let me know what you really think. Thank you in advance for your opinions, and your time.

 

And here is the link!

http://mlpforums.com/blog/1942/entry-13264-captain-rarity-mistress-of-the-sapphire-sea-chapter-one/

[yeet 2,026]

Will read later if I remember. Who is Suri? You mean Siri? From the iPhone?

[Obsidian Sky 14,004]

Will read later if I remember. Who is Suri? You mean Siri? From the iPhone?

Suri is like, this one, mkay? Remember her from Rares takes Manehatten?

[yeet 2,026]

Suri is like, this one, mkay? Remember her from Rares takes Manehatten?

Oh. Her. The one that stole Rarity's idea? Or the one that helps her in the end or something?

[Obsidian Sky 14,004]

Oh. Her. The one that stole Rarity's idea? Or the one that helps her in the end or something?

The one that stole her idea. The pony that helped her is Coco Pomell. Which will also be part of later chapters.

[yeet 2,026]

The one that stole her idea. The pony that helped her is Coco Pomell. Which will also be part of later chapters.

So, she is baddy? Suri. I mean.

[Obsidian Sky 14,004]

So, she is baddy? Suri. I mean.

Read it, and you will find out.

[yeet 2,026]

Read it, and you will find out.

Fine, i'll read it now. Instead of waiting till later, even though i'll probably forget to later.

Actually, it's really long. Too long for my brain to comprehend right now. 

[ghostfacekiller39 23,857]

Ooo!

 

I'm glad to see you made a topic I'll share alink to it in a bit. I love this story

[yeet 2,026]

Ooo!

 

I'm glad to see you made a topic I'll share alink to it in a bit. I love this story

You mean after the like 5 statuses made about it, and the blog with it, and the topic I should make a status about it too

[KokuraiNoSenshi 3,463]

YES! You finally did it!!! Oh thank heavens you finally decided to sit down and write one of these! Oh as soon as I get a minute, I will definitely check it out! I am so proud of you Obsidian, everyone loves your stories in the RFC and it is great to see you finally adding onto them

[Buck Testa 5,503]

Rarity a swash buckling fashionista? Color me intrigued.

[Obsidian Sky 14,004]

Rarity a swash buckling fashionista? Color me intrigued.

Well, the swash buckling will come in later chapters.

 

Maybe you can share what you think after you read it though?

[Buck Testa 5,503]

Well, the swash buckling will come in later chapters.

 

Maybe you can share what you think after you read it though?

Your wish is my command; I posted a review for you.

[Obsidian Sky 14,004]

Your wish is my command; I posted a review for you.

Thank you very much.   Will try to bear your tips in mind should i ever write the next chapter.

[Buck Testa 5,503]

Thank you very much. Will try to bear your tips in mind should i ever write the next chapter.

Please do. Those tips are things I have to tell myself every time I write. A lot of wrinkles and clunky sentences were ironed out that way. I have to do it even more now cause I write with a touch screen and it likes to throw random letters and commas willy nilly, and not being the best at spelling on the planet does not help.

 

I have books worth of tips from my time writing, feel free to hit me up if you get writers block.

Edited September 30, 2014 by Buck Testa